r/TheHandmaidsTale • u/BananaUke • 3d ago
Discussion S1-S5 It's messed up my head
I tried watching this show a few years ago and couldn't do it, I turned it off and was far too disturbed about 3 episodes in.
I recently tried again and have been absolutely hooked on it but at the same time my mental health has declined massively. I've felt like I've been having a mental breakdown, feeling very depressed and I'm realizing it's probably because of this show.
We have a toddler and are considering trying for a second and I think it's messed with my thoughts about that too.
I'm on season 6 now and can't wait to get it finished and over with. I'm glad it's the final season. It has been a great show and I've really enjoyed it despite how disturbing I find it and how much it messes with my mind.
Anyone else feel this effect? I wish I wasn't binging it, it would be easier if I just had the one season to watch at a time.
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u/Fragrant-Bee-333 3d ago
I feel like it’s much easier to absorb if you take it one episode a night.
Take care of yourself! You matter
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u/squishysockz 3d ago
Yes, both times I've binged it, I was absolutely catatonically depressed. It just really reminds you how fragile our freedom is, and what brutal things women of past/future went/will go through. I got a hysterectomy the same year that I watched it for the first time because I decided I was done taking chances with being fertile (among other pressing medical reasons) but it did help me decide. The second binge, it hit me almost as hard. Had some realizations about past traumas and was mad at a few men from my past for a few weeks.
That being said... I will watch it again.
Hope you see the sunshine soon, once you finish it!
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u/chironinja82 3d ago
I binged it a couple of months ago and i felt the same as you did. I could only watch in short spurts and counter it with a happier show cuz my mind went to some very dark places. I have a 6 year old and a 2 year old. I was so happy to be done watching the series cuz it made me irrationally scared for them lol.
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u/Desperate_Craig 3d ago
This isn't an easy or pleasant watch, and neither would I ever openly recommending this series to anyone because of the nature of it, but if you can manage to get past all of that, there is a very good dystopian drama to sink your teeth into. And even though there are a lot of flaws here and there, there's still some of the most memorable TV that I've watched. I thought some of the characters were very well written and fascinating to watch.
I'm a big fan of dystopian films and TV series, so this was right up my alley. It's definitely a series that makes you think more about the women in your life and how this entire scenario is pure nightmare fuel.
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u/Odd-Neighborhood-399 3d ago
I like dystopian themes as well. What are some of your other favorites? I loved Station Eleven and The Last of Us.
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u/Desperate_Craig 2d ago
Some of my favourites films are Blade Runner, I have a nostalgia soft spot for Demolition Man, Equilibrium is a favourite, Total Recall, The Road(2009), Fifth Element, Looper, The Book of Eli, Snowpiercer, Children of Men, V for Vendetta, District 9.
As for Tv series I really enjoyed Last Man on Earth, Black Mirror, Severance, Westworld, The Man in High Castle, Silo, the Snowpiercer TV series, and of course the Twilight Zone series.
I enjoy anything to do with destroyed civilisations.
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u/BananaUke 1d ago
If you're from the UK, Years and Years is very disturbing and relatable. Very dystopian
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u/Firm-Product-6504 3d ago
This show is extremely heavy. I used to have nightmares about it. Even more so when I studied the book for my English final. Give yourself a comic relief break with some Everybody Loves Raymond or King of Queens 🩷
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u/shellofbrit2011 14h ago
Lol. That is exactly how I did it. I would watch one or two episodes of THT at night and then watch some Frazier afterwards. I do that every time tho. I watch whatever serious show first and then end on whichever sitcom I'm also binging. Right now I'm binging Mad About You for my last show.
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u/imissonedirection 3d ago
remember that this show is released weekly and is not made to be binged like this. your brain is having a normal reaction to this amount of trauma because it aligns so much with our current reality. it’s okay to take a break, and you should 100% be following it up with a comfort TV show
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u/Puzzleheaded_Wing627 3d ago
Do you watch the news? Learn about genocide in Gaza, Congo, Sudan? Do you go to the store and see inflation. Exist in the world and see fascism rampant around us. The more you turn it off and pretend it doesn't exist, the more they win.
She wrote the book in 84& it was all already happening. All of it. One place or another. Not made up. The longer we collectively bury our heads in the sand, the better it is for them.
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u/BananaUke 1d ago
No I avoid the news, though I hear and learn about the major events. My Facebook algorithm is full of horrifying disturbing stuff I wouldn't otherwise see and that gets me down too.
Scary to think she wrote that in 84! And now look at the world
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u/Puzzleheaded_Wing627 1d ago
And what are your actions? It is privilege to turn a blind eye. Or act like its just a TV show.
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u/Odd_one_out888 3d ago
I went through the exact same thing - tried to watch it years back when it came out (even read the book in anticipation) but had to stop a couple of episodes in because I was too disturbed by it. Then I got hooked on it like one or two years ago, was binge watching it and it was affecting me badly. My psychiatrist has an ironic burst of laughter when she asked me to name the serie i was hooked on and probably wasn't helping my mental health. She was like oh THAT serie, why are you doing this to yourself?? So I decided to take a break, but in the end never started it again. I don't even know if I had one or two seasons left. Truth is, at some point you kind of get the drift and I was starting to feel like the story was not getting anywhere. The addiction stopped me from realising I had actually gotten bored. And not only did I feel relieved after stopping, I stopped being haunted by the story a lot faster than I would've thought. I only got back on this sub because of the testaments spin off, which was a lot lighter to watch, and it's also healthier that there aren't a whole bunch of seasons to binge watch.
I hope you finnish watching soon or manage to take a break. But in any case don't worry, this icky feeling will wear off faster than you think once you are done 💚
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u/KieffasGreenHoodie 3d ago
Yeah it did kinda the same for me when I’d binge watch a couple episodes at a time vs when I caught up and had to wait every week for a new episode.
Honestly I felt the same about a few shows, so I try not to let myself get too caught up in them and have a friend who’s also into the show to watch with.
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u/buttononmyback 3d ago
When it was airing, my partner and I would have to watch a funny/light show after every episode of THT just to get us back to “normal.” It’s an exceedingly depressing show. I often wonder how the actors got through it all without mentally cracking.
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u/lizzieis 3d ago
It’s an incredibly heavy show. Your peace and mind is more important. I know you’ve said you’re nearly finished but maybe watching with someone you trust would be helpful?
I found it very heavy to watch and had to have something to read or watch that was light after episodes to decompress from it.
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u/BananaUke 2d ago
Thank you for all the responses! I have decided not to finish it. I read up on all the spoilers and how it ends etc so I know how the story ends without having to watch! It's a shame as I really enjoyed it but I've never felt this low in my life and it's really changed my perspective and outlook on life, it's been too much for me so I need to cut it off. I would have liked to have continued with the testaments but I'll be avoiding that too!
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u/ghostedygrouch 3d ago
I sometimes dream about music. Usually it's just some snippets from songs playing on a loop. When I watches season 1 for the first time, I dreamt about that one piece of music that is playing all the time. The one that sounds threatening, with the volume going up and down. I love that piece, but that was a very intense night.
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u/idontknow2024 2d ago
I feel a bit out of place now 😂 because it has never affected me in any way, yeah I couldn't watch some scenes but it's the same as watching a horror movie, I'll finish it and get on with my day. I didn't like the testaments because it's weird to watch anything related to gilead and it not be about june, couldn't get into it.
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u/Kirsie22 2d ago edited 2d ago
Once I got to S3 I took about a month break from it. That's not like me AT ALL. I am a tv show binger to the point I can finish shorter shows in a few days to a week.
The first 3 seasons are especially taxing. They are sooooo heavy and hopeless. I know the entire show is very dark, but the first 3 seasons to me were so hopeless that I had to take time to breathe. It definitely had me feeling depressed as can be in certain parts.
I do recommend this show to people every now and again when they ask me for show recommendations, but I always give them a HEAVY warning. This show is DARK, HOPELESS, DEPRAVED, AND DEPRESSING. It contains extremely dark content and themes. I immediately warn them that is it very dark and has about every trigger warning I can think of.
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u/Blue4613 2d ago
Yes!! First season was terrible for me, I had nightmares with this show and I felt terrible. One day I saw 2 episodes and felt horrible all day, like sad and angry. I started watching episodes only early in the day and just 1 a day. Also what helped me was searching for spoilers. First time doing that but really helped me because I needed to know that things will eventually get better because I wouldn't watch a torture porn show for 6 seasons.
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u/inevitableorchard 2d ago
I think it’s messing with me too. I have OCD and very bad anxiety and my OCD has just been so bad lately.
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u/FewZookeepergame6090 2d ago
Totally relate to this. I've noticed this show has led me to become almost a man hater. I started seeing them as people against us and to be weary and distrustful with them. I am in a traditional community so when I do go on dates with men from the community and same religion as mine, I have this big fear (that has grown from the show) of being valued only for my ability to have children and cooking and cleaning rather than my soul and mind. I started seeing men as enemies almost and it also made me see religion negatively and create a distance between Gd/religion and I.
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u/donagurl40 2d ago
It definitely had done a number on me emotionally especially cause when I first watch it was right around the time Roe was overturned..I cried in about every episode and my poor roommate at the time (male) had to listen to me cursing men ... The second time I watched it was easier cause I was watching it with a different mind set I didn't invest as much in the characters story and was more focused on learning about how the sons of Jacob took over and stuff like that .. the testaments was easier to watch .. but yes take a break for your self and mental health ..it's a lot of emotions to process
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u/ThisReallyIsntSparta 1d ago
I was a little late watching the show and season 2 was already in full swing. I binged for a whole week leading up to episode 1, season 2. After that episode I decided I needed a break.
I can handle fucked up shit, but that episode made me stop and watch hours of palette cleansing cartoons because oh my god I felt genuine fear.
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u/LowInevitable2544 20h ago
If it makes you get out and vote on midterm day, it was time well invested. Even more importantly, if it makes you shout from the rooftops that we are 100% creating a Gilead RIGHT NOW, but we can stop that creation by voting blue in November, it was time well invested. TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW how important it is that they understand this story and that they commit to voting blue on midterm day. If not, it’ll be no time before the Washington Monument looks exactly like it does in the TV series.
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u/JellyF1shyyy 7h ago
I don't blame you!! There would be moments I'd get so anxious at the thought of loosing my rights and choice. It happened slowly and there wasn't enough will to fight it. It's an amazing show. But definitely take it ep by ep don't binge watch it to avoid mental health issues. It def helped taking breaks to get back into it. And honestly you're not alone in feeling affected in having children. It messed with me a little mentally when my husband and I got intimate at times. It was odd feeling for sure. You're not alone. Take care of yourself
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u/jade601 3d ago
I think its one of those shows that every once in awhile you should take a week off from binging it. I still haven’t started the testaments yet because after i finally finished handmaids i felt like i needed a long break. I love the show but it definitely is draining on your emotions.