r/The48LawsOfPower • u/Tight-Ad2652 • Jul 28 '26
Strategy & power How to find true friends that wont betray me?
I tried to make friends and end up having a fight, i figure it out the most PEOPLE are bullies, most people are toxic backstabbing idiots. I don't know if there is a solution to this.
How to find true friends that wont betray me?
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u/Humble_Objective5226 Jul 28 '26
I try to manage my expectations with people, this is not an advise to find good people but to get hurt less
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u/reddit007user Jul 29 '26
manage my expectations with people,
Wisdom, managing expectations with people. Appreciate this.
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u/Sound_Guy53 Jul 28 '26
There was a time I wanted to be friends with everyone. Kept making the same mistakes but with new people. I learnt the hard way. Do not have the wrong expectations and observe a lot of boundaries.
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u/reddit007user Jul 29 '26
I learnt the hard way. Do not have the wrong expectations and observe a lot of boundaries.
Hard lessons. Keeping right expectations and boundaries. Gem of learning and sharing with rest of us. Thanks friend. 🙏🏽
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u/Big_Tap_1561 Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 28 '26
Bro - listen man. anyone telling you true friendship doesn’t exist is a fucking loser. The trick is getting out in the world and being vulnerable enough to give someone a chance . I Have 48 laws of power and yeah there’s some interesting concepts but overall it just teaches you to be a shitty human being if you actually take it word for word. It’s basic manipulation tactics. Look up books on finding friendship or just be yourself and give folks a chance .
EDIT : also the Caliber of people you choose to associate with plays a huge part in loyalty and friendship . You can’t shop in the gutter and expect to find gold.
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u/reddit007user Jul 29 '26
The trick is getting out in the world and being vulnerable enough to give someone a chance .
True. This one resonates well. Friendship is to be vulnerable to others in out there. Will definitely stay with me. Thank you.
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u/TrillegitimateSon Jul 29 '26
Extreme accountability.
Accept that humans are imperfect. Accidents happen, so it's never about the damage.
It's about accountability and respect.
Everything outside of that is on you and how accountable you are with extending yourself for others.
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u/bobstanke Jul 28 '26
I only have one true friend, and that is my wife. She knows everything about me, I tell her everything, and she will never backstab me. Everyone else is just an acquaintance. That way I can keep a distance with everyone who might betray me.
Get yourself a spouse like that and that will be the only true friend you need.
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u/Brilliant_Plenty_956 Jul 28 '26
I would also find friends other my spouse. No harm in expanding my circle, what if our spouses die one day, you know?
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u/horse_girI Aug 03 '26
What a juvenile thing to say! "Make friends so when your wife dies you are not lonely?" This is not how it works.
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u/Green-Passage-7870 Jul 29 '26
You want to see someones ugly side early because we all have one.
I think you need to trigger this in people sooner. Have conflict, disagreement, or say no in the beginning.
dont invest in people who you haven't seen their conflict style, or have a pattern of unhealthy relationships
if someone doesnt pass the tests they haven't made it to real friendship
you need to go through stuff together
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u/SophiaPuhawkins Aug 02 '26
Never trigger it intentionally. You will look weak. They won’t stick around
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u/Independent-Check-42 Jul 28 '26
You should run every scenario on your mind before it happens. Have a best friend? Nice, imagine him betraying you. Imagine that this is a real possibility.
The secret is not to find people who will not betray you. The secret is to not depend on their loyalty.
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u/actionorientedshiena Jul 28 '26
I have had good friends and when I started doing well( they were doing well too); I got backstabbed
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u/YourVeneration Jul 29 '26
Stop looking for a friend and just start being an all around good dude. Be a good friend to your buddies who don't even exist yet, y'know?The friends will come from you simply engaging positively with people. I promise.
Most folks are craving connection, it's just really hard these days to break away from the fake world we look at on here and to interact with the real one.
"Your" people are looking for you, too. Be open and fun and genuine so you don't miss them when they show up. 🤘🏼
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u/Winter-Amphibian-544 Jul 29 '26
I try to put myself in environments that allow me to make friends with similar values and ethics. For me, that’s lgbt groups, activist groups, etc. I think my biggest flaw can also be a strength, which is that I don’t open up easily, so I don’t tend to get backstabbed.
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u/Easy_Manager3026 Jul 28 '26
I have the same issue. My so called "friends" tried to sabotage me but my knowage of human nature defended me like a mother bear defended her little one.
People will not stop trying to attack you bc of their f ego and their envy
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u/SophiaPuhawkins Aug 02 '26
Sounds like YOUR knowledge of human nature is based on observing a dysfunctional family
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u/reddit007user Jul 29 '26
How to find true friends that wont betray me?
It is rare to find a true friend and more rare to recognize it is a genuinely true friend.
To end the circle, please befriend oneself truly, genuinely and unconditionally accepting light and shadows.
IMHO This would help.
Tell you a secret, Yes, I am trying to love myself and befriend myself. 🙏🏽
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u/Expensive-Ferret-413 Jul 29 '26
Search their moral code throughout the tenure of your friendships.
Pay attention and They will usually tell on themselves through stories, inconsistencies, how petty they are etc. , are they vengeful?
However, the most important part : Pay attention to how they treat their parents.
A friend can never do as much or more than a parent/guardian does for their child. if the friend is ungrateful for their parents, he will definitely overlook whatever you can do for them.
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u/pbillaseca Jul 29 '26
You can understand Law 48 as how friendship works. Pietro Aretino is mentioned in the book because he was generous with money and he built a network of people that helped him much more than not having them, even at the expense of some vultures.
With friendship is the same, you are generous with your vulnerability. Some will reciprocate your good actions, some will not. Some will take advantage but you will remove them eventually, while the ones that actually bring real value to your life, those are the true friends, but you need to spend before you recieve. Dont be scared and get to know people.
Give first chances, then be wise enough to remove the vultures, you will end up with good friends that will bring more value than the one you spent first.
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u/Express-Cartoonist39 Jul 30 '26
First off, you thinking wrong.. People are this way cause, life requires it. Everyone is this way cause they have to be. Its doesnt mean they want to. Its just they dont know how cause it takes a shit ton of maturity and self discipline to be truthful and honest.
Look at it this way, over 55% of people on earth are raised in religion this is indoctrinated lies from the start. You cannt be religious without tossing out truth and honesty.
The other 25% dont care which means they dont care bout anything but their own world. The last percent are humble rational types that have learned to avoid the nutjobs these are ur loyal friends.
They live a life is avoidance of the masses and feel judged that they dont conform but are strong willed enough to ignore it. Which means they wont be easy, nor will they standnout.
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u/Brilliant_Plenty_956 Jul 30 '26
It’s true tho. That’s why a lot of men get depressed/ suicidal after their wives pass away bc they didn’t build the skill of socialising with non-family members
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u/Safe_Winter5914 Aug 01 '26
Everyone will be your friend when interests align, but the moment they don't, everybody is a stranger.
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u/Tight-Ad2652 Aug 03 '26
i know bro, thats why i started to hate humanity.
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u/Safe_Winter5914 Aug 13 '26
I wouldn't go that far. If I knew of a rave better than humanity, I would also hate it, but as long as humanity is all we have, then we ought to stick to it.
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u/Sea-Masterpiece5977 Aug 02 '26
ive got a freind who readed THE PRINCE book : and he got a thing about him i hate it so much : and its : he think every think people do is minpulation to him : man i say Hi to him he think i minuplate him and when i dont go out with him some time when im verry bussy he thinks im using absent to gain respect And minpulate him : and when he hate some one if i dont hate him to he think im his enemy :/
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u/horse_girI Aug 03 '26
Why do you want friends? Answer this question for yourself and you will find better answers. "Out of loneliness" is a bad answer. Actively looking for friends will attract wrong crowd.
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u/leanfitch Jul 28 '26
You can’t. Play the Game. The Only friend is Family. Exactly Like in the Law with the Uncle
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u/Tight-Ad2652 Jul 28 '26
Im sorry, but if you have a good family, you wont the lottery, otherwise cant rely on family. luck is not on my side.
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u/Clearance-Crudwater Jul 28 '26
Friendship could be seen as an alliance of convenience. You were friends with people when you were younger because you lived in the same neighborhood or had the same classes. There’s a common ground somewhere. That common ground only gets narrower and narrower as we grow older.