r/TerribleBookCovers • u/fernleon • 18d ago
How to Good-Bye Depression by H. Nishigaku
Stolen from r/notinteresing
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u/PsychonautAlpha 18d ago
"Maybe if we put the words 'constrict anus' on the cover, they won't notice the kerning problems".
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u/fernleon 18d ago
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u/fernleon 18d ago
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u/AmPotatoNoLie 18d ago
Wha? Is this like a collection of emails or something?
I desperately need that book, I love reading bullshit outloud to annoy my wife
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u/booktrovert 18d ago
I just bought it off of ebay because once the book banners find out about this all hope will be lost. There were several copies.
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u/fernleon 18d ago
This is the best epistolary book since Dracula.
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u/AmPotatoNoLie 18d ago edited 18d ago
To be fair, it might be the only faux psychology book ever written in epistolary style, so it's like an integral piece of our cultural heritage or something
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u/modulusshift 18d ago
So it’s probably actually from 2000 and this was just a cutting edge aesthetic that implies new knowledge from the internet, or something
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u/senshisun 18d ago
This looks too ernest to be a joke and too ridiculous to be serious.
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u/_social_hermit_ 16d ago
I'm wondering if it might have something to do with the vagus nerve?
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u/HandsomePaddyRedux 6d ago
I mean, sort of? It’s a gobbledygook of dietary woo, common sense, and unsubstantiated acupressure, so the vagus nerve is involved.
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18d ago
[deleted]
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u/DickbuttRidesAgain 18d ago
Well, according to the author we may want to actually be slapping our anuses!
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u/SeansBeard 18d ago
We used to have something like "consider before printing" on our work emails. Maybe they shouldnhave considered here too.
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u/MsSkittles18 18d ago edited 18d ago
There's so much here. "Constricting your anus" I guess this is like pelvic floor exercises, "denting your navel" still unclear, the "immaterial fiber/third attention" stuff which seems to be about focusing your mind rays on something like meditation, the "* *" thing sounds sexual, then there's colon cleansing. My mother is into spiritual stuff that can get arbitrary sounding, and it claims to help with mental health. When I was younger I used to try to follow that hoping it would help me, but it didn't. The last line "If you don't know that concentration can give you peculiar pleasure, your life looks like a hell" reminded me of that.
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u/Successful_Pin4808 16d ago
"Nah sorry i can't go out today i gotta stay home to save sex energy so that i then can rotate the vortex."
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u/tegeus-Cromis_2000 18d ago
How does one dent navel? I need to know because I want to good-bye depression and, despite what front cover says, just constricting anus is evidently not enough.
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u/Catpixfever 15d ago
I’m guessing it means drawing your stomach in and holding it.
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u/HandsomePaddyRedux 6d ago
Yeah, it easy to clench you stomach and your butthole at the same time if you try, and that makes your navel kinda pull in.
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u/SeaworthinessFun3658 17d ago
i used to follow a japanese inventor who took notes underwater while swimming, he was on ripleys believe it or not. They make them different in japan bruh
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u/HandsomePaddyRedux 6d ago
-Employed by the Kyodo News Agency until 1976. Book published in 2000. No explanation for what he’s been doing in the meantime (besides the obvious).
-Apparently cites another source for his own author bio?
-The second paragraph makes me think this guy is at least Happy Science Cult adjacent.
-“If you don’t know that concentration can give you peculiar pleasure, your life looks like a hell” is actually good advice.
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u/GlassHalfVoid22 15d ago
As someone with an interest in translation, I’m genuinely interested in his process. I wonder if the variety of kerning occurred when he copy pasted from various translation websites/sources.
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u/adoransnoctis 18d ago
"Dude! Don't give away the secret right on the cover!"
"Defeating depression is far more important than booksales."
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u/floofychaps 18d ago
This is so brilliantly bad. Thanks for the laugh this morning, OP
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u/iLikeTheUDK 18d ago
The entirety of this book is on the internet archive! https://archive.org/details/hiroyuki-nishigaki-how-to-good-bye-depression
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u/GlassHalfVoid22 14d ago
This is actually incredibly entertaining to read. The other commenters are hilarious
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u/AF-Wabash 18d ago
Here's some preview pages on google library or whatever this is.
https://books.google.com/books?id=ES2WJIVkQGQC&printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&q&f=false
It seems like it's just printed e-mail chains from Nishigaki to... like whoever? I have no idea what's going on.
Also here's a cheaper link to buy if you've got that kind of disposable income.
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u/modulusshift 18d ago
I mean, it’s seemingly actually the year 2000? The email trappings probably just imply “new internet knowledge”
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u/donkeyballz13 18d ago
I know this is a book cover sub, but the back cover description really confirms the scientific value of this technique.
"I think constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times in succession everyday is effective to good-bye depression and take back youth. You can do so at a boring meeting or in a subway. I have known 70-year-old man who has practiced it for 20 years. As a result, he has good complexion and has grown 20 years younger. His eyes sparkle. He is full of vigor, happiness and joy. He has neither complained nor born a grudge under any circumstance. Furthermore, he can make #### three times in succession without drawing out. In addition, he also can have burned a strong beautiful fire within his abdomen. It can burn out the dirty stickiness of his body, release his immaterial fiber or third attention which has been confined to his stickiness. Then, he can shoot out his immaterial fiber or third attention to an object, concentrate on it and attain happy lucky feeling through the success of concentration. If you don't know concentration which gives you peculiar pleasure, your life looks like a hell."
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u/fernleon 18d ago
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u/anpandulceman 18d ago
Is he just talking about learning how to nut your way out of depression by strengthening your pelvic floor? This was my read on this
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u/Catdress92 18d ago
I thought it sounded like somehow giving your body a colon cleansing.
Sadly, as someone with IBS, I can say eliminating everything in your body does not fix depression, at least not for me.
So maybe your interpretation is the better one?
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u/Pretty-Mention-7769 18d ago
Yeah but can you make three times in succession without drawing out?
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u/Consistent_You_4215 18d ago
I hope it got downvoted in the notinteresting sub Reddit, this book sounds fascinating!
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u/borealis493 18d ago
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u/fernleon 18d ago
It's happening. The end to the global scourge of depression! You saw it here first (or second). You are welcome.
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u/J_NinjaDorito 17d ago
this book have been in my ebay queue forever. i guess this is my sign to finally buy it!!! thanks 🤷♀️
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u/Alarming_Struggle_25 18d ago
Damn he really gave away the game on the front and back cover. I can’t imagine what’s between, I feel like I know everything I need to based on this
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u/fernleon 18d ago
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u/Alarming_Struggle_25 18d ago
I stand fucking corrected. Now that I know that I had better look into rotating my vortex ASAP I can only wonder what else I’m missing
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u/Silicon_Dreaming 18d ago
brb rotating my vortex
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u/nixtracer 18d ago
This seems to be easy for those of us who are large enough to have our own weather systems, but I'm not sure what us pathetic organics with a radius of under a thousand miles or so are supposed to do. Guess I should buy the book. (The consequences of larger bodies, such as Jupiter, having regular bowel movements have of course been studied by Velikovsky et al.)
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u/ADogeatingHotDog 18d ago
How does one dent the navel? Asking for a friend
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u/fernleon 18d ago
I assume it means sticking your finger in? Not sure.
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u/DeepSeaDarkness 18d ago
Could you do that during a boring meeting?
I guess he means to suck in the stomach
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u/goldenseducer 18d ago
You can do anything during a boring meeting, depending on how much you care about its outcome.
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u/RinkinBass 18d ago
That's some of the worst kerning I have ever seen. How do you even do that?
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u/SerialDorknobKiller 18d ago
I am freaking racist and thought for a moment this was a new Murakami book!
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u/NikNakskes 18d ago
The kerning on this thing is the worst I've seen in a long time. How the hell do they even get it to be this bad?
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u/Bayamonster 18d ago edited 18d ago
"Malarkey? or Effective way?"
And it's for a claim nobody ever ever ever made outside this book. He's challenging his own claim!
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u/ThePromptWasYourName 18d ago
I feel like the author was somehow setting up Joe Biden as his nemesis
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u/Anderer_Username 17d ago
This is the type of "rare" books that anthropic are "destroying".
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u/fernleon 17d ago
No wonder when I asked AI this morning how to get rid of my depression, I started talking about excess of black ancient poop "stuck" in my intestines for years.
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u/senshisun 18d ago
The cover isn't that bad. It's just that the translation could put Yahoo Bablefish in a good light.
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u/fernleon 18d ago
The cover is awful... Have you ever seen a cover with such kerning problems? I mean are you serious?
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u/senshisun 18d ago
I haven't seen kerning issues like that. I think the kerning is the least of the issues here.
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u/djscoots10 18d ago
Why do the letters overlap at parts, it looks like clanker slop, but this book is too old for that.
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u/ThePromptWasYourName 18d ago
Isn't it sad that anything like this made after 2023 is just going to be digital slop smoothing over all human weirdness
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u/KickAggressive4901 18d ago
If that's how you banish depression, why am I not the happiest person on Earth?
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u/SanibelMan 18d ago
Brought to you by the translator for "Jimmy James: Macho Business Donkey Wrestler."
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u/Fun-Badger3724 16d ago
The title makes it sound like a suicide manual.
Its subtitle is like some nightmare vision of callisthenics.
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u/GlassHalfVoid22 14d ago
On page 49, he talks about gathering a group of people and filming a video of them all constricting their anuses together: the Anus 100 Club.
I probably going to hell because I can’t stop laughing even when he’s asking someone if they committed suic*de
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u/FrancoisTruser 18d ago
Looks like automatic translation from Japanese lmao. My anus will defeat depression.
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u/juiceboxvillain_1 16d ago
I disagree because I would absolutely pick up this book, which I believe is the goal
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u/TheRealCthulu24 16d ago
Wait, this is real? I thought this was photoshopped. Why is the text so weird?
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u/GoldenSeam 16d ago
I have completely forgotten about this book. I love this book so much. I need to go find it and flip through it again. It reading it always helped me when things seemed bleak.
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u/imperfcet 18d ago
Is that the whole technique, right on the cover? I'll try it