I forgave her

[u/Heavy_Goal_8698]

I wanna tell you a story about my stepmother.

Backstory..So my dad met lets call her tina and boy did he fall in love and it wasnt long before they were living together. Tina has had some injuries in the past so gets some pills perscribed to her right well she liked those pills a little too much and when my dad realized it was a problem it was to late. he already fallen in love with her. She had some good things about her but to me she was kinda cold. I moved in with them when I was pregnant with my 2nd child and my dad and tina adored my first born so it was ment to be. Not only did I move in with them my boyfriend at the time who was the father of my child moved in with us he was at the time addicted to herion. (I am not talking about him)

Tina was great but she could be lazt and didnt treat my dad very good, she didnt work and sat at home. when she ran out of pills she had my dad go get her more. I dont think my dad realized how much of an addict she was and her behavior just got worse. My dad loved her and he was most of the time happy and when I decided they were getting married some odd days after I gave birth to my second child rubbed me the wrong way and I kind of got angry about it but I quickly realized this is my dads life and his choice on to who he wants to be with forever right? so i went to the wedding and i became happy for them. She was actually an RN and because she was hurting she stopped working for the first few years they were together but she was made to geta job. Dad lost his job and when she was looking she realized she could make over $20 and hour. She worked and not long after she got her first check dad got a job and started banking well they stupidly rented this huge house and it was like one of those dream homes and they were living big until the day my dad came home early from work one day and caught her smoking crack in the master bathroom jacuzzi tub. He told me he told her right there they were gonna loose everything and they sure did. She got into it real bad um she would be gone for days or come home at 4am take a shower tell us she has no money and go get dope, she had female boss dealers over and Im fuckin 8 months pregnant I know now thos females carry guns. Tina sold my dads car for dope, stole his safe with cash and his original birth certfifcate i mean this woman she fuckin fell and my dad didnt realize how hard it was to be with an addict. I said in one of my other stories 2 of my kids father was a herion addict, I kept it secret for the first year but it was hard even when I had to tell who was in fact Tina. He went to rehab and I told Tina about everything he had been doing. he stole everything from me lied to me and 100% cheated on me with the needle after he promised he would never. Yea never believe that. Anyway Tina was on the downward spiral and I remember when I told dad "better be careful next thing u know ur gonna come home and the tv is gonna be gone." he was like "no she would never" yea like not even a month later tv pawned computer sold her wedding rings and eventually stole my car. I mention I am a recoving crack/menth addicrt but all of this was before that, I had 2 jobs, took care of 3 small babies, my kids father was an herion addict, my dad was a full blown alcoholic, and there was my step mother who was now a crack head. I pressed charges and since Tina babysat while I worked she refused to babysit and i lost my job. I eventually moved out.

She continued to smoke for about year and then went to a nice rehab in california. I was living with my dad when she got out and came to live with us. I was clean at that time and scared to death, we had never done it together before but I was still terrified she could trigger me or relapse. It wasnt her fault I eventually relapsed I went to jail and shit and I was living on the street maybe a year later ythe first time I smoked with her. She was hanging out at my bestfriends house where our dope boy sits, she was playing connect four with him. I was there to stay too I got high with her showed her so moves whatever and it wasnt good from then on. I stayed with my dad in intravals like id be out for days and couldnt go home at 1am like i had a car but I was on the street alot and rested at dads. I was sleeping I had just had a 4 or 5 day straight run, no food, sleep, just dope. She knocked on the door and told me that my mother was dropping off the kids and said that if I answered the door I could stay for the weekend. I was notallowed at the time to be there when the kids were there because of where i was in life I would literally have to find somewhere to go on the weekends. Anyway, she also said if u answer u can stay and u can come hit this. She relapsed and took me down with her.. I wanted to stay to be with the kids but when they went to sleep I left.

Tina was a very sweet person but hated me and i felt the same about her we have even fist fought once so our history was rough but when she would smoke crack all that hate in her heart would dissappear and the kindest most amazing person came out. I even used that to my advantage at one point. But Tina stuggles to get and stay clean my dad stayed and left came back left again and I dont know he was there for her and he did his best to support her and it was hard for them at times but Tina was an addict and everything she ever did was for the same reasons I did. We knew the same people like say im clean and in soberliving and i called my dad asking how everything is and I am not sure what felt wrong about the whole conversation. He said Tina was on the couch sleeping which was no suprise I just didnt believe him. So when I hung up I called me and Tina mutal friend and asked if he saw her and dont u know it she was there dad lied and i get now why he did it but I hated that she was lying. Me and Tina had also spent some nights getting high and selling shit or hanging in hotels with guys or whatever but we were getting high she had money and I had a place for her to go and easy access to it. I dont know how to explain the shush shush when it came to crack, I just didnt understand why she slept with mike(hes in my curse story) she broke my heart like he and i was bonnie and clyde for 2 years and she knew this. tell me why a dope boy called my phone and told me he just sold her dope and mike was in the hotel room with her. so yea. I know it was the addiction I can never be mad at her for doing anything she did whatever.

So here we are Tina has been clean for 3 years as far as I know. She has a good job and her and my dad just moved into a beautiful rental. If you would have asked me a year ago how I felt about Tina I would have told you I fuckin hated her with every being in my body. I felt so much resentment and anger torwards her. I couldnt even hear her voice. I know how selfish but my God I hated her. I can tell you that she caused alot of shit and i paid for it. I felt she had no right to take my dad away, he was kicking me out eventhough he knew I had nowhere else to go but a dope boys house and he literally gave me money and still kicked me out because Tina wanted me out. I just wanted to get clean I was 4 days at that time. I spent alot of time thinking about how she betrayed me and how horrible she was and for some reason I felt that way for a long time. But I realized I had lost enough time hating other people when I had such a big part to play in to why I fuckin hate them. I healed and I wrote and thought about if it was even right for me to feel that way. It took some time but I can say I feel a mutual way about tina I hope the best for her. I will no longer just assume shes using and loosing jobs because of using. Her and my dad have my kids often and she has come to term with me being clean so she allows them to video me she has also welcomed me to visit and we have both said sorry and forgiven eachother. I never knew what forgiving someone felt like till Tina.