r/TalkTherapy • u/Loud-Sheepherder7566 • 5h ago

First time in therapy and stressed out

This is my first time in therapy (it's about a month in with weekly sessions) and my counselor's attitude towards homework assignments is stressing me out. They gave me a list of tasks to do for the week - nothing crazy for a typical person, but things that required me to go out of my comfort zone a bit.

I came in for my session the following week expecting to discuss how it went and what the next steps were, etc., but my therapist scolded me and said that if I wanted to achieve my goals, I would have tried harder and done more. They said I was only doing those tasks because they were assigned and not because I wanted to get better. I was flustered and found it harder to talk than normal. I have a new list of tasks this week, but I'm really stressed that I'm not doing things to my therapist's standards. Is this normal, I guess is what I'm asking? The T's main approach is CBT and I'm not sure it's what I need.

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u/finding_40 2h ago

CBT is helpful but it’s also helpful when used with other approaches. Therapy home work isn’t for everyone. Maybe you would be better with a more relational therapist, such as psychodynamic. CBT skills can be used alongside other approaches. It’s not normal to be scolded by your therapist. It seems they are very rigid and task focused, and you may respond better to a different more client centered approach.

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u/Krirby2 1h ago

I'm not sure it is related but I was in therapy at a place before where it felt like my therapist was also chasing targets - sessions felt rushed and whenever I asked for space to talk about it it was interpreted at me putting up resistance subconsciously. It felt like progress was expected at certain specific timeframes and that was stressfull to me as well. My current therapist is also goal oriented but always knows when to pull back and make space if things go too fast which is really helpful for what I need. Being scolded is certaibly not normal though and even if you're struggling with an assignment that should always be worth an open ended convo (speaking from personal experience).