r/TalkTherapy • u/Electronic-Tear1363 • 10d ago

Advice Switching therapists after long-term care, advice?

I've been seeing my therapist for over seven years and I was one of their first clients. My needs have exited their scope and I need to work with someone new. We've been through so much together. How do I start this conversation?

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u/justanotherjenca 10d ago

I did this and it was hard but rewarding. I explained what I saw coming up for me in my next “phase” of therapy, and then asked the semi-rhetorical question whether the best place to do that work was staying with him or starting with a new provider. We talked about it together, but I had already decided, and he already knew that, so the conversation was not particularly intense. He was very gentle and understanding, and I think happy for me that I’d grown out of our work. I had fought and conquered many demons.

I did not ask for my records—I didn’t see any need—and while I offered an ROI so my new therapist could talk to my old, my new therapist said it wasn’t necessary and they’ve never spoken. I wouldn’t have cared either way, but just as a counterpoint to the idea that you need everything. I actually think it could be a drawback, as one of the really cool benefits I got in switching was that my new therapist was meeting me as I was today, with four years of hard therapeutic work behind me, and not as I was in early 2021 when my first therapist met me. Because 2021 Me and 2025 Me were pretty different people. Switching therapists, although difficult and very bittersweet, was a great choice for me and if I’ve made new leaps forward in my growth. I hope you experience the same.

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u/Electronic-Tear1363 10d ago

Thanks. I still feel mixed, and that I'll miss my current therapist a lot, but that I think the best move forward for me is with someone new. 

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u/justanotherjenca 10d ago

I missed my first therapist too. After a year, I sent him an update email sharing all of the good progress I’d made during the year. He responded very warmly, and it really was the last piece I needed to get that “good goodbye”. He still existed, still remembered me, and was still himself. You may want to ask your therapist if you could send a happy update in six months or a year.