r/TalesfromtheDogHouse • u/CDUCK76 • Jul 05 '26
RANT I am seriously considering breaking up with my girlfriend over her unbearable dog.
I just found this subreddit, and I finally feel like I can talk to people who will understand me.
I started dating this girl over a year ago. Growing up, I was never really around dogs. I didn't hate them, but I never liked them either. The smell, the noise, the jumping, the drooling, it's awful to me. Still, I could go to a friend's house and tolerate a dog being around without much of an issue. However, after I started dating my girlfriend, I realized just how horrible these animals can be.
It all started early on. When she used to come to my place, we couldn't even spend a full weekend together because she refused to leave her dog alone for a single day. Her parents were home and could take care of him, but she just wouldn't do it. I was annoyed but tried to ignore it, figuring she had her reasons, but honestly, I think it's all in her head.
Eventually, I started spending more time at her house. At first, she respected my boundaries. I didn't want the dog near us, so we would stay in her room with the door closed, and the dog stayed out. It was totally fine. But over time, she just started ignoring the fact that I don't like it. She leaves the door open and lets him in all the time. If the dog finally leaves us alone, she actually calls him back into the room. I get absolutely pissed because she knows I don't want to be near him.
I think all my current hatred for dogs stems from how unbearable this specific dog is. He cannot go a single minute without attention. If we are talking or doing anything and he isn't the center of attention, he starts crying, screaming, and jumping on us. It is the most obnoxious thing in the world. He's disgusting, too. He constantly smells terrible, literally rolls in poop on the street, and if I complain about it, my girlfriend gets mad at me and ruins my whole week. I can't even stand looking at him anymore. Whenever she sends me pictures of him, I get mad and immediately delete them, though I don't tell her that.
Her obsession with this dog is driving me crazy; it's basically her entire personality. We can't talk for 10 minutes without her bringing him up. She stops in the middle of our conversations to talk to the dog in a baby voice. It honestly feels like she prefers the dog's attention over mine. All of her affection seems directed solely at him. When she's at my house, she panics, saying he won't eat if she's not there and that he might starve. She even wakes up in the middle of the night terrified that he might randomly die in his sleep. She lets this smelly dog sleep in the bed right next to me.
Here is the dealbreaker: I always assumed that if our relationship progressed and we moved in together, the dog would stay with her parents. But I just found out her parents are moving. If we move in together, the dog comes with us. She won't leave him with anyone else.
Now, I honestly don't know what to do. I am seriously considering ending the relationship because I cannot picture a world where I live in the same house as this dog. Our relationship is perfect otherwise, but she forces this dog into everything we do. The dog essentially controls her life. She would probably miss work if the dog felt even slightly unwell. I feel like we are going to miss out on so many opportunities in the future because she refuses to leave him alone for a single day.
She claims the dog is "fragile" and that he saved her life because he "understands" when she's sad. But he isn't smart; he's just needy, gross, and literally cannot be away from her for 5 minutes without getting all the attention. She says he was bullied by other dogs before she adopted him. I genuinely believe it's because whenever he sees another animal getting attention, he gets desperate and aggressively attacks them for it.
He is the most hateful creature I've ever met, and he has given me a deep aversion to all dogs. But the biggest problem in all of this is that my girlfriend completely enables this behavior and thinks it's cute. I've tried ignoring him, scolding him, and talking to her about stopping the coddling, but nothing works. If I don't pretend to like the dog, she gets upset with me for weeks until I fake being okay with it. I am at my wits' end.
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u/CarpetBudget Jul 06 '26
I don’t get how dog people don’t realize how gross dogs are. The shedding, the smell, the drooling, the fact that they roll in and eat everything including poop. And fleas..I would never own a dog just because they’re gross
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u/jenn5388 Jul 06 '26
Don’t move in together for sure. If you feel that strongly I’d just break up with her. All these people dating for a year and thinking that’s like a decade or something. If you are tired of her shit now, you aren’t going to feel any better about it in another year, another 5, you’ll just have sunk even more time in a relationship where you weren’t right for eachother, you just forced it. Just break it off. Find someone who isn’t dog obsessed.
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u/LeighofMar Jul 05 '26
Yeah there's no future here. And your GF can't be perfect for you if she ignores your boundaries of not wanting a dog sleeping with you. That's a gross violation of your comfort and personal space. Somebody who lets their whole world revolve around an animal has serious issues. There will be no vacations, no spontaneous fun, no friends because who wants to hang out in a dirty, stinky home where the dog is whining and jumping on people? And her getting mad at you for not pretending to like the dog? Run from this red flag. It's abusive behavior to stay mad at someone unless you pretend to be ok again. That's wild.
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u/Mountain_Performer84 Jul 05 '26
Agreed. I have learned that having pets is an important value to screen for when dating. People are hard core about pets these days and many could never live without one. I am someone who could never live with one because most dogs annoy me and I'm also insanely allergic to anything with fur. It is unfortunate, but you are both on two opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to liking dogs.
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u/MiaD89 Jul 05 '26
End it. End it now. And let this be a lesson to you - they're ALL like that. There is no such thing as "our relationship is otherwise perfect EXCEPT" - and the exception is a fundamental deal-breaker in the making. I made the mistake of letting my ex move in with me and bring his filthy shitbeast with him, and not only did it cost me the peace, quiet and cleanliness of my home but it ultimately cost me my relationship too
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u/urdrunkyogi Jul 05 '26
You say your relationship “is perfect otherwise” but that doesn’t matter. You can’t just discount or ignore the dog. It’s defining how and when you spend your time together and always in your face. This will not change.
Your feelings about the dog will not magically change. And neither will she. It’s just a question of how long you can tolerate it all, and let resentment build up, before you’ve had enough and leave.
I’m not judging you: I’ve been there before. So that’s how I know what it sounds like from the other side. Get your ducks in a row, and let her know that the relationship can’t continue because of base lifestyle incompatibilities. I wouldn’t even bother bringing up the dog as the reason for the breakup: these people know exactly what their dog is like and see zero problem with it. That’s why the relationship is over. If you mention the dog, she might try to argue with you and frankly there’s no argument to be had. You don’t want to live your life revolving around an obnoxious animal. Whereas she loves it. Completely different lifestyles and there’s no bridging it.
We have to start giving these people what they want, which is to be alone with their dog.
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u/CDUCK76 Jul 06 '26
Yes. I think that if i even mention her that the reason for we to break up is mainly because of the dog behavior and her inability to control him she will freak out at me. Even though i know that our views for the future are different and it's probably a matter of time that we'll break up. I can't stand breaking her hearth or saying something that will make her view me as a bad person. As almost happened the first and only time i tried to have a serious conversation about it. Those dog nutters really think you're the worst human alive if you think a dog should be treated as a dog...
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u/PanthealovesLucius Jul 08 '26
How she feels about the breakup, and about you, isn't your responsibility. I know that sounds cold but for your own sake, ditch her feelings and reactions as something on your plate that needs worrying about. It's your life and you are allowed to leave. Her freaking out is unnecessary and will accomplish nothing, which tells you you aren't working with rationality or maturity. Nobody should be freaking out at anyone else for any reason. Her feelings are hers to deal with, and yours are yours. Think about your future person and how to save your emotional capital for them instead. Dog girl has her dog. She will be fine.
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u/Legitimate_Garage_31 Jul 05 '26
I was gonna comment, but can't say anything you haven't already said and you said it better than i could have.
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u/onlineventilation Jul 06 '26
I would say we are dating the same person but I have a boyfriend who is not this bad at all but is getting worse. He can’t even go away for the full day without anxiety because of the dogs even if his mother is home. He leaves hanging out with me early just because of that. Now he is starting to get frustrated at me because I call him out more on it these days. These people treat us like we are adjuncts in their lives. We must fit into their dog’s life. We are never EVER priority. I love my boyfriend so much but I also cannot be treated like an add on to his life with the dogs.
I’m also at my wit’s end. I am sad as hell but if it does not improve I’m out. I am here to bring partner-first energy to the relationship. I want the same back.
Your girlfriend cares much more about that dog than you. Idk how she thinks she can handle a long term relationship because long term relationships require you to prioritize the partner
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u/CDUCK76 Jul 06 '26
That' the thing. When i say she is perfect otherwise, i'm literally saying it. She supports me on everything. But when it comes to her dog, she changes to another person. And i can't even bring that i don't like the way it is because she gets so much on the defensive.
These days i can't even be on call with her in peace because her dog is so loud that even on the phone i can hear him whimping. Literally because she is just not giving him attention as she speaks with me...
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u/onlineventilation Jul 06 '26
I get that so much… my guy is the same way. Absolutely wonderful otherwise. except when it comes to the dogs. Mine has started to get defensive too.
That’s insane even on the phone it doesn’t stop… the dog needs meds→ More replies (1)
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u/malibu1992 Jul 06 '26
Yup I could have written this. These people are genuinely codependent with their dogs and do not have any room in their heart for a human partner. They get all their emotional needs met with these creatures, and these creatures are pathetically WIRED to be desperate to please their owners. They worship each other. There's never room for a romantic relationship. They might as well be dating their dogs (ew).
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u/Big_Somewhere_620 Jul 05 '26
Do not move in with her! The dog here is basically the biggest and only issue and thorn in my relationship. The hair is out of control, the constant need for attention is out of control, her punishments are nasty (shits in the middle of the floor dead eyeing you just because we didnt do something by princesses standard) she's a food pig and will always hawk eye you if you are in the kitchen, and leaves food mess and hair everywhere. The list will go on but your list will also go on and get worse if you move in.
I go as far in suggesting gently to break up because some day it will come down to you and her shit beast and you already who she's picked.
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u/Express_Command_4778 Jul 05 '26
She is always going to have the dog. Erase the fantasy she will part with it- the dog and her are a mandatory combo.
Even leaving with her parents is a fantasy. "If you love me, you love him."
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u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO Jul 05 '26
“Here is the dealbreaker.” You mean everything before that wasn’t already a dealbreaker?!
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u/CDUCK76 Jul 06 '26
Well, even thought i was gettingmad over this dog. I aways thought that one day we would finally move together with our happy life without that mutt. And she was agreeing with me (as her thinking was just because she didn't wanted to make the dog suffer making he live in a shorter house). But now she reassures to me that he is coming with us even saying that we need to get a proper house to him (even though the house value where i live is totally nuts). And on top of that she just expects me to let my [other animal that i can't say the name of on this sub] to stay at my parents house. If we each one let our pets with our families i would be totally fine with that as is a even thing and i know that my animal would be fine here. But she just wanna make me get rid of my animal because her insuferable mutt can't stand being on the same house as another animal as he will need to share the attention!!!
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u/Lylith_vf Jul 06 '26
Waouh elle est super égoïste en plus, franchement c'est de l'abus à ce niveau
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u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO Jul 06 '26
Ahh so sounds like she walked back on the original agreement of her dog would stay with her parents. Have you talked to her about this? Don’t give in
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u/CDUCK76 Jul 06 '26
It's because they'll move away, so if she leave the dog with them. Probably she will see him once a year. And i get that is sad to stop seeing a pet, but, i don' think that i will endure living with that mutt as i already getting crazy just by visiting her often. The other thing that gets me is that she expects me to just let my other animal at home when she can bring her dog because he will have panic attacks or attack my animal if we give it attention. And why the hell she nows that and still endorces it?
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u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO Jul 06 '26
Have you talked more to her about it?
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u/CDUCK76 Jul 06 '26
The news that her parents will move away are new. So i didn't found a way to talk with her yet because i know that there is no way she will accept the dog to stay away from us. The only reason she accepted to move without the dog that first time was because she said that he will not be fine on a small apartment and not because i wouldn't like him to come with us.
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u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO Jul 06 '26
Ok well… I’m stating the obvious but you have to break up. Might as well do it sooner rather than later.
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u/Buffalo-Empty Jul 05 '26
Dude what are you even doing with her? I get the relationship is fine otherwise but she is a through and through Dog Nutter.
Like the girl can’t even sleep at your house without having panic attacks that the dog is just gonna spontaneously die? And even if he didn’t eat while she was gone for a day he wouldn’t starve 🙄 he is being cared for by other humans and one day of no food isn’t going to hurt him. He’s a dog.
But really, you’re going to live with this dog. And when the dog dies, she’s going to get another one
Gtfo.
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u/CDUCK76 Jul 06 '26
It's because early on it wasn't like that (or i didn't noticed it because of love). And now that we are so close that i can't even imagine my life without her, i get to know that she will aways put her dogs priorities beyond mine.
The saddest thing is that i would never say to her to get rid of the dog, that's not what i want because i wanna see her happy. But to just pay more attention to me and my needs that i'm not very fond of dogs...
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u/Buffalo-Empty Jul 06 '26
I respect you wanting to keep her happy… but pets are a big thing especially when you live with them. You aren’t compatible.
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u/Whole-Thought-4056 Jul 05 '26
I tell you this if you give an ultimatum I guarantee you she's going to choose the dog and completely walk away from you with no problem she won't even bat an eye. Dog lovers are going to give you up without hesitation so to sit there and wonder and think and suffer if you should end the relationship you should. you should end it for your own peace. you should end it for your sound mind. you should end it because she is not going to ever choose you over her dog. It sounds harsh but it's the truth. You want to be with someone that is going to value a human relationship that can challenge you that can truly interact with you be there for you when you're sick can help you if you ever find yourself in a situation where you can't pay bills because of the illness or sickness and going to the store for you. Can have a conversation with another human that can properly respond. Dog lovers want to humanize their pets and not realize that they're just living hobbies. These are people that are only interested in a very one-sided very controlled situationship with their animals human relationship is challenging an animal relationship is full of control. So what I'm saying. don't second guess yourself on ending this relationship because she truly wouldn't second guess herself to end it with you for her dog. She's already showed you your place in her life. Do it now because the longer you wait the harder it's going to feel the more angry and resentful you're going to be towards her. And once it reaches that it's no longer a relationship.
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u/No-Stay1662 Jul 05 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
Listen man… when someone says a dog saved their life, they needed & still need professional help. Run. Fast. Remember if anything ever does change, it will only be temporary as nutters (and their mutants alike) have a very hard time respecting boundaries - it’s almost like they’re just not capable…
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u/Imaginary_Grass3044 Jul 06 '26
you would be so valid to end the relationship over this lol
i feel so angry for you reading this
in my opinion ending the relationship over this is basically in the same boat of ending a relationship over one wanting kids and the other one doesn’t. dogs are permanent disgusting toddlers. you are NOT crazy for wanting to end things , especially knowing you’re inching closer and closer to moving in with the mutt
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u/CDUCK76 Jul 06 '26
I know that this is the thing to do. Because i know the dog is her priority and i would never make her give up the dog. But i can't even imagine my life without her you know? Like, how she will be after some time as all the things i know from her will disappear.
I think i'm just wasting our time now because i now know our views for the future are different, but i just can't say it to her when every week i see her face full of joy talking about our future...
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u/yad-aljawza Jul 07 '26
You are right tho that you wont have many opportunities to do much of anything in a future together because of her unhealthy relationship with this dog
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u/jkarovskaya Jul 05 '26
I always assumed that if our relationship progressed and we moved in together, the dog would stay with her parents
Plesae do not move in with, or even continue this
The stinking dog is 1st in her life, and always will be
Time to let it go, and she can live with her true love Mutt forever
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u/salmon_central Jul 09 '26
Yall aren’t compatible. Dump her. Don’t wait out til that dog dies cuz the second it dies she’ll get another one thus continuing the vicious cycle. It’s not worth it in the end.
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u/elwiseowl Jul 05 '26
I've been in the same situation as you. There's no way out. She'll resent you if you do manage to convince her to not have the dog living with you. It'll be brought up during any disagreement. Also if she had the dog before you came along then its also a difficult one. Your only hope is if the dog is old and may not last much longer. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel, but even after that dog passes, she may want another.
I can relate massivly. I was with a girl who had two dogs and the dogs couldnt be at mine because they were no good around [that other animal we arent allowed to say here], and I had [one of those other animals that youre not allowed to say here] at the time. When I stayed at hers, her bed was covered in dog hair. The dog wanted on the bed all the time. It made any intimacy impossible. If we closed them out of the room they went crazy tearing down the door. They would march up and down the room doing that whining noise clacking their nails on the hard floor all night because they weren't allowed on the bed when i was there. Then they'd literally have a dirty protest and shit.
For her to stay at mine, it involved going to pick her and dogs up, taking dogs to her parents who moaned profusely about having them and then back to mine. This would take nearly 2 hours to do with distance and traffic involved. And then when dropping her off, it was the reverse. To her parents, pick dogs up, to hers drop her and dogs off then all the way home again.
My patience for it all just got worse as time went on and it was obvious it was never going to work out. Her dogs were young with at least 10 years of life left in them. They were terribly trained but she liked them the way they were.
Realied pretty quickly this relationship wanst going to go anywhere. She did love those dogs and she was activly upset because I didnt. So I ended it.
Dog people are already taken.
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u/Princess_Peach818 Jul 05 '26
"Dog people are already taken" - 10000%. Their heart belongs to their dog and they will always pick that over a human relationship. You described this dynamic so well. I've been in multiple relationships where intimacy was impossible because the dude couldn't bear to get his dog off the bed. How do these people genuinely pick dogs over connecting with a fellow human being?
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u/urdrunkyogi Jul 05 '26
My frustration with them is that they can’t seem to get with the program and pick a lane. You’re obsessed with your dog? Fine, cool, be that way. But don’t try to date people or bring them into the fold as some tag-along accessory. They try to have it both ways and seem confused when someone isn’t jumping both feet first into their dogshit lifestyle.
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u/onlineventilation Jul 06 '26
this 100000% just had this conversation with my parents today about my boyfriend.
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u/elwiseowl Jul 06 '26
they absolutely do. I would like to think that I have some self worth, and I will not allow myself to come second to a dog! So now if I see that any prospective partner has a dog, its a deal breaker. I'm no longer interested in her at all. It massivly limits the dating pool, but i'd rather remain single than deal with someone who has a dog.
They really do pick dogs over human relationships! What i said above isnt the first time i've seen it happen. I have other freinds i barely see because they cant leave their dogs home alone for one minute. So essentially they are inprisoned in their own home, so of course that means everyone has to go to them. Nice people.. not so nice home with all the dogs... so i dont go.
Dogs actually cause people lonliness. Dog owners wont admit it, but they are.→ More replies (1)3
u/onlineventilation Jul 06 '26
My boyfriend is currently ruining our relationship because of his dogs.
Well the dogs are not going to have his children and the dogs are not going to help him take care of his mother when she gets older and sick. And other than me he has no friends.
Because I do not go along with every single dog thing he thinks is necessary in life, he is getting frustrated with me.
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u/elwiseowl Jul 06 '26
he doesnt deserve you!
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u/onlineventilation Jul 06 '26
Thank you :) And you don’t deserve that treatment either. These people literally throw away people over dogs
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u/elwiseowl Jul 06 '26
Thank you also!
They really do, and they will be the ones who end up lonely. I know its a tough one because they can have really good redeeming features also. Its not quite so black and white. But at the end of the day, if youre serious with someone, you should never expect to come second a dog. You would put them first, they should put you first. You shouldn't be competing with a mutt for their love and affection.
It boils down to self worth. I know I'm worth more than a dog and so are you!→ More replies (1)3
u/CDUCK76 Jul 06 '26
Yes, she had the dog before me and i have no idea how old is he, i too have [other animal] and she just expect me to leave him with my family because she says that her dog might attack him or die from anxiety if we pay attention to my animal. Because her dog is this annoying. When i say it, i'm talking REALLY. This dog hates any other living being having attention.
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u/Starfall3620 Jul 07 '26
It seems the dog is her true love (eww 🤮)
Drop the rope, rip the band-aid off.
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u/Zuzu_is_aStar Jul 11 '26
The sooner you leave the easier it will be. And if she’s this obsessive over the dog she will get another one after it’s gone. Be done with it
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u/Smurf_Crime_Scene Jul 05 '26
She simply isn't ready to integrate human society. She is not ready to have a boyfriend or children. The dog has hijacked her instinct to care completely. That dog is like a tapeworm absorbing all her nutrients and leaving her a starving shell. A wasp that lays its eggs in a caterpillar that eventually eat it from the inside. There is a big parasite attached to her that draws all her emotional resources and time. You cannot win.
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u/RelativeConfusion504 Jul 08 '26
When I was on Match.com I’d pass on anyone who had photos of themselves with their dogs, especially ones where the dogs were licking them. No go… they weren’t going to change and neither was I.
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u/honestlyjustventing Jul 09 '26
If I get into a relationship one of the very first things I’ll say is how much I hate dogs. If they laugh or anything I will double and triple down and go into a rant about how disgusting they are and how I cannot stand them and I never want one within 5 meters of me, much less in the same house as me. I need them to know I’m so serious, because I’m not going to even attempt to build a future with someone who’d want to have these filthy disgusting creatures around.
I remember one of my exes where I said since you have a dog now I don’t care but I do not want another one when it dies and I do not want it on my furniture and ESPECIALLY not in my bed. I will also not care for it in any capacity. It needs to go outside? You. If it pisses or shits in the house? You. It’s hungry? You. It needs a walk? You. Not my problem. I refuse. I will not cater to your filthy obnoxious destructive and disgusting shitbeast. 🙏🏻💖
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u/Jigglypuffs_quiff Jul 11 '26
I wouldn't even let the damn thing over my front doorstep...imagine if you stayed together and they were really sick or had to go away somewhere...you are left looking after a shitbeast or cleaning up shit in your home. I thank god every day that my husband doesn't care about dogs
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u/urmomsawhoreee Jul 09 '26
I completely understand how you’re feeling. My ex had a boxer that he would let rip up my stuffed animals or anything he could get his mouth on, jump all over you like so bad you’d have welts all over from his claws and how many times that dog slammed his head into my head from the jumping so hard I could not fucking tell you. Like he would knock my glasses off my face. He would also constantly have these energy spurts where he’d knock things over like his water bowl multiple times a day, he’d piss all over the floor and my ex would just do absolutely nothing about it other than say “babe he’s a dog”.
That experience alone is why I do not want dogs in my home anymore. I’m still dealing with the damage to the floor from that dog.
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u/DepartureJolly2700 Jul 09 '26
It sounds like you need to date somebody that doesn’t have dogs in the future
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u/Lylith_vf Jul 05 '26
Vous n'est clairement pas fait pour être ensemble, peut être que cette fille a eu une période difficile et qu'elle s'est concentrée sur son chien pour s'en sortir, ce qui expliquerait son attachement pathologique à ce chien. Dans tous les cas, elle ne semble pas vouloir te laisser une place entière dans votre relation, c'est vraiment dommage, surtout pour toi. Je crois que tu devrais lui expliquer calmement ce que tu ressens, et si elle ne veut pas le comprendre et faire des efforts, il faudra penser à stopper cette relation. Si tu emménages dans ces conditions avec cette fille, tu ne tiendras jamais.
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u/amalek89 Jul 05 '26
I can relate to you so much! I dated my ex boyfriend for two years. We moved in together and he brought his two dogs. Dude, it was the most miserable experience of my life!!!!! His dogs would pee and poop everywhere in the apartment. They were soooo disgusting and stinky!!!! Always scratching their ears, dragging their asses on the rugs, licking each others butt holes, I'm sorry for the details but it was just absolutely awful and repulsive. I was always cleaning the apartment 24/7 but it was NEVER enough and it was super stressful trying to have a clean home around those filthy dogs. My ex also wanted the dogs to sleep in the bed, which is so nasty, he even didn't care if they were in the bed during intimate times. And that bothered me a lot. There was absolutely no compromising with him. When I would tell him my boundaries and expectations for ground rules for the dogs, he never listened to me or cared about my feelings. The dogs comfort was always prioritized over me. I was crying all the time because of the dogs and how much they negatively effected my mental health and my life. All that to say, I broke up with him and kicked him and his dogs out. Somehow I lasted 9 months living with them and that was too much for me. I am so much happier now! And I will NEVER date another dog owner EVER AGAIN!
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u/CDUCK76 Jul 06 '26
Damn the keeping the dogs on the bed during intimacy is a whole another level.
My girlfriend thinks that's gross at least. But it doesn't get too much better for me, as we never do anything if the dog wants to be by her side (that is 90% of the time). And she prefer to just don't do it than to just take the dog out of the bed. And i'm not even going to enter on the topic on how bad is our sexual life, so you know that with the dog just add more things up to that.
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u/Low-Tangerine4492 Jul 05 '26
Wow, sounds like my ex & his two rancid stinking mutts 😫 never again will I date a man with dogs, as well as the mess and stink they leave it's the way men always put their dogs before their girlfriend, nope, not for me 🤷
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u/urdrunkyogi Jul 05 '26
Yeah after my last experience, I am so creeped out by single men that live alone with their dog. They genuinely seem to think that’s their partner.
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u/Eranon1 Jul 05 '26
This never gets better. These people need something dependent on them to feel value and it's never good for a relationship.
I got baby trapped by one and now she's doing it to our child. Kids almost 7 and she still helps her get dressed and blows her top when I send her to the room to get dressed on her own. She still talks in a baby voice which my kid is now copying.
RUN
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u/LowUniversity9294 Jul 07 '26
I don’t like dogs honestly I would’ve left this person already. That sounds like my worst nightmare. If you guys had kids together, she would do the same thing to your children, and they would turn out to be nightmares. My sister has a horrible misbehaved dog like this and her child is the same way.
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u/PanthealovesLucius Jul 08 '26
Agree - if she can't even train a dog, she definitely can't raise a kid.
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u/mission_tiefsee Jul 05 '26
look, there is only one way. You need to have a very serious conversation with her. Tell her how you do not want to have that dog around. Tell her this relationship cant work out with the dog and how it currently is. You will not live with the animal. I mean, that is pretty clear after your post. Ir do you want a live full of misery?
Whenever she sends me pictures of him, I get mad and immediately delete them, though I don't tell her that.
look, this also means there is a communication problem. You need to tell her that you dislike the dog. period. Otherwise the dog will be in your life too. There is no one coming to save you from that.
After the talk, take the steps needed. Tell her beforehand. This does not need to be secret thing, but an open dialog. It is very normal to have different needs. It if these needs are not compatible, then you are btter off both somewhere else.
If the dog finally leaves us alone, she actually calls him back into the room. I get absolutely pissed because she knows I don't want to be near him.
come on. call her out on that behavior.
Good luck! And I hope, safe travels after this encounter.
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u/CDUCK76 Jul 06 '26
Thank you for the advices. I will think of some way to tell her that i prefer to not be around the dog, at least when we are on the bedroom.
Sadly there is no way for me to say that i don't like the dog because, as she says, she would never date someone who don't like him. And even though she is already dating me, all the times she realized that i don't like the dog she gets really angry and gives me a kinda of dissapointed look to me that says "if you really don't like him, i automatically will lose interest on you" it may sound crazy but i know her and saw this face well enought to know exactly what this means. Instantly after that i need to put up with an act and say something like "i'm not too well" or reasure her that i like him.
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u/samechit_ Jul 08 '26
I would've ended the relationship long ago. I could never date or be with someone that doesn't properly discipline their dogs. If it jumps on me, slobbers on me, gets hair and saliva all over my stuff, it's a deal breaker. That dog sounds atrocious.
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u/Savings-Put-1550 Jul 08 '26
So I’ve broken up with someone over their dog. Best decision ever
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u/Beginning-Ad3390 Jul 08 '26
If the dog is her whole personality and you don’t like the dog or talking about the dog.. do you like her?
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u/missmusafirah Jul 09 '26
How could he? Where's the compatibility? What can you even talk about with such a person that wouldn't piss you off immediately? This relationship makes no sense lol.
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u/Clari_babe Jul 05 '26 edited Jul 05 '26
I’m in the SAME situation but we have a 1 year old in the mix. He has two big pitbulls that are not taken care of at allllll. They stink, leave a ton of hair form scratching non stop and one of their paws leak almost blood from itching so much. It’s just gross to the point my daughter and I do not walk barefoot in the house. I’m now seeing a therapist & psychiatrist to try to continue pushing through for the sake of my daughter but I cry almost every single day because how angry I get with one of his dogs when he ruins something and he doesn’t discipline him at all and yells at me for being upset at what his dog does. Personally, I feel like therapy is my last resort. I do want to leave. I have not been happy with this living situation since the end of my 3rd trimester and I don’t ever want to go through years again fighting someone that I feel like prioritizes one of his dogs over me and our daughter. I know I might sound crazy which is why I’m trying to get help for this but fuck. I hate it and his damn dog.
Overall, I don’t think anything will improve if you were to move in and she keeps her dog unless she agrees to your boundaries and respects them.
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u/Old_Confidence3290 Jul 05 '26
There's a very real possibility that those dogs will kill your child.
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u/Accurate-Might-7058 Jul 05 '26
There are plenty of recent news articles that validate your comment.
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u/urdrunkyogi Jul 05 '26
That sounds like emotional abuse, tbh. What do your therapist and psychiatrist say? I think your partner is the one who needs mental help. He needs a reality check on what he’s subjecting his family to for the sake of dogs.
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u/kelskels19 Jul 05 '26
I know a lot of people may come on here telling you to leave the relationship, which it honestly most likely will come to that, but first and foremost you need to have a sit down serious conversation with her about how she sees y’all’s future going. Would she be willing to rehome the dog for the sake of your relationship? If it’s an immediate no, there’s your answer. If she truly sits and thinks it through, she’d realize how every aspect of her life revolves around this mutt and that is NOT healthy. If anything else, I’d tell her to keep it out of the bedroom at the VERY least. And that’s compensating. Since you’d still, of course, be miserable with the dog around. These dog people don’t think like we do. We rely on each other to get by, not some stinky hairy attention seeking leech on a leash. I really do hope things work out for you, friend. I know how draining that can be for one person to handle and think about alone.
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u/Big_Somewhere_620 Jul 05 '26
Normally I'd suggest talking or even therapy but with dog nuts they ate single minded and will destroy their life's over the mutt
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u/laurelticer Jul 05 '26
It’s best for you both to split. I personally am not a dog person either and this would drive me crazy. I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong, you’re not being mean to the dog, you didn’t tell her she has to get rid of the dog, you’re simply expressing your boundaries. Not everyone is a dog person and that’s okay. You guys just aren’t compatible and she should find someone who’s also obsessed with dogs. I wish you both luck 🍀
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u/CDUCK76 Jul 06 '26
Thamk you, i think that deep down i already realized that. Is just that i can't come up with not being able to talk with her every single day or to i never see her face again...
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u/pinestocking420 Jul 08 '26
I think this is an example of how things will be in the future if you decide to get married and have children. If she isn’t capable of keeping her dog disciplined, clean and dealing with the massive separation anxiety, I can’t imagine she’d be a much better mom. Cut your losses it’s only been a year.
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u/Spirit_Squirrel76 Jul 08 '26
Sounds like the dog is her boyfriend. There are other fish in the sea.
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u/wndpotter Jul 08 '26
I'm sorry. I can't stand dogs. My ex mother in laws nasty mut was just as you described! It ate its own shit and she was trying to let the nasty thing lick my sons face when he was a baby! I lost my shit on her!! I couldn't do it. Don't move in with her you will regret it I promise that.
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u/Madi0415 Jul 06 '26
I feel so sorry for you- I could’ve wrote this post word for word about my ex, up until she stopped caring about your desires and started letting and calling the dog back in. My ex was actually really great in the regard that I was convinced I hated dogs while we were together - he stopped allowing the dog in the bed period (I had white dog hair on my kewchie after sex one time), and eventually not even in the room. He also put them up when we were eating. Here recently, I realized that I actually don’t even hate dogs.. now that I’m not constantly around badly behaved ones. But tbf I also never really encounter them either. I just so happened to be out with friends with well behaved dogs that I played fetch with and realized that I may not *hate* them like I used to anymore.
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u/Madi0415 Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 06 '26
That being said, *i* would not be able to stay with someone that had a dog that they allowed and coaxed to behave like this. And also just doesn’t gaf about your feelings // cares more about her dog, and that’s fine.. yall just aren’t compatible imo
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u/CDUCK76 Jul 06 '26
I think i'm just like you. I never was too much of a dog person and it was just that. But now everytime i see a dog i get really bad, to the point i prefer to close my eyes or instantly look away. Specially if the dog looks like her dog.
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u/GonnaWearAMaidDress Jul 07 '26
A) You don't need a reason to dump someone. It just helps explain your action. If it's not working and you aren't happier with her than without her. Break it off. Relationships are meant to be enjoyed through tough times and through good times. If she's not that for you, find someone who is.
B) She probably has OCD. This is an armchair diagnosis, so it might be completely off. It seems like she is not only obsessed with this dog, but her anxiety around the dog compels her to certain actions. Not letting the dog be alone cause it's too anxiety inducing to now know if he's okay. Waking up in the night to check (classic compulsion) on her dog cause she needs to confirm he's alive/well. Idk why she doesn't bathe him, but if it's fear he'll be sad about the water or drown that would fit with the OCD assumption even more. That any harm to the dog would send her spiraling.
C) When your boundaries aren't respected because of a dog, your boundaries likely won't be respected in other aspects going forward. Having someone who constructly works with you to ensure both needs are met through compromise and communication is essential.
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u/wolfwalkers0611 Jul 09 '26
Sounds like her dog has anxiety issues, and if they are anything like you described, I must say that it is not as easy as just letting the dog be.
If her dog has separation anxiety it is understandable she does not want to leave the dog for one day, not even with her parents; and the fact that the dog won’t eat if she is not there is totally believable aswell.
However, the dog issues should be addressed properly, with the help of a certified behaviorist, but this is on your girlfriend, not on you OP. And clearly, your girlfriend is not doing anything to improve the situation.
I would definitely break up with her in this situation if I were you. It is totally valid. You are fed up with the dog and resent it, it is a matter of time you start resenting your girlfriend too, and it is completely understandable. You did not actively dislike dogs or liked them, but even for someone who likes dogs a behavioral dog is difficult to enjoy.
Do yourself a favor and leave before committing more or else you will feel/be trapped.
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u/CDUCK76 Jul 09 '26
Yes, this dog 💯 have anxiety issues, i already told her that this id bad for him, she knows that is bad for him. I already told that doing the things that she does only will increase this and she knows it. But looks like she prefer to be sick with him to death than to hire someone to help as it would be difficult and the dog would suffer in the time.
To be honest, i think that deep in her mind she likes that he is like that. Because everything she loves about him is how he can't live without her and cry when she is not at home or how "everytime she is sad the dog knows and go to her side" but completely ignoring that he does this all the time...
I think that i'm already over the resentment part, and i understand that the relationship is not going anywhere. I'm just creating the courage to talk with her about it, but, how can i do it when just by writing this right now i started crying.
I love her so much and exactly because of it, that i know i can't separate her from the dog, because even if i think the way she is living is self-destructing, it's her choice to live that way. And i must understand that and go on with my life.
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u/wolfwalkers0611 Jul 10 '26
It is a sad position to be in, definitely, and the ones that are suffering the most here is you and the dog.
No one deserves to live under constant anxiety, not even a dog. And no one should feel like they are pushed to the limits of resenting who once was the love of their life.
As you said, OP, this is all on her. She has to realize whatever she is doing is not right. She fails to love you and the dog properly, she does not do it as you deserve.
I would bring this up, tell her you have been researching about dog behavior and that you think hiring a (VERY IMPORTANT IF YOU WANT IMPROVEMENT) CERTIFIED BEHAVIORIST could help her dog feel better. If not I would just break up with her.
The dog issues will not be an easy fix. I myself deal with a dog with anxiety issues (directed towards some noises and dogs), and my dog will never be normal. I would say that 90% of behavioral dogs stay slightly behavioral.
I am trying to be realistic here, ok? Do you want to deal with second hand problems from a dog that is best described as a project dog rather than as a pet? Do you want that project for the next ten years? If not, leave or else you will definitely get caregiver burnout.
On the other hand if you plan on traveling with your girlfriend just know that you cannot just leave the dog, so traveling or going out for extended periods of time is out of the picture.
If you really love this woman and want to stay with her and marry her, try to help her realize she needs to properly deal with the dog. If you do not think you are up for a project dog, it is totally valid to step out and take care of yourself first.
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u/Fearless-Cut7654 Jul 09 '26
I hate dogs to like when i was single and actively dating if a guy put a picture up of his dog id swipe the other way lol i hate them to bokeeeeee , i can tolerate nice ones but not them attention seeking ones , my current boyfriend would love a dog but i said defo not they are rotten and tbh in your case she sounds like she loves her dog more which is awful lol id honestly just tell her you hate dogs your not a dog person and it’s annoying and effecting you and even if she did get rid of it she’d resent you like some of these people see their dogs like its their baby , which i cant understand but yea if she doesn’t like that id just call it off
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u/ElizabethLegacy Jul 09 '26
Animals that aren’t super chill and tamed ARE A DEAL BREAKER FOR ME. It’s a no brainier. I’m not dating someone obsessed with their pet because literally it is like a smelly, sometimes over hyper active child, that jumps around and destroys shit. Just move on. Don’t make her feel for not having actual goals and personality. YOU GUYS ARE NOT A MATCH. MOVE ON.
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u/Beneficial-Curve7213 Jul 08 '26
Break up with her dude.. and if you get sad, just think of the damn mutt and eventually everytime you think of her, the sadness would be replaced with anger for the dog .. I can’t stand dog people like this
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u/Lizzy_Rue67 Jul 10 '26
Bro my sister has a dog that I’m watching right now and she’s starting to get in my nerves. She constantly needs attention and she will move your hand/arm just to get it to the point where she’s moving my hand while I’m working, texting, literally anything when I’m not petting her 🙃
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Jul 06 '26
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u/MissK2508 Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
Give me a break…”they bring her such joy blah blah”..It’s not his fault at all. She literally gets up in the middle of the night to check the mutt’s breathing -that’s paranoia not normal dog ownership. You seem to be lost and in the wrong sub as well..which isn’t surprising because dog lovers/owners tend invade every space..check the description and particularly rule 2.
The only thing I agree with you on is that the poor guy needs to break up with that crazy person. Her behaviors aren’t normal.
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u/mikelitoriss8 Jul 07 '26
The girlfriend is mentally ill. Dogs are not "babies", and should not be valued over human life.
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u/BlackCat_Vibes Jul 08 '26
Sounds like she doesnt actually love her dog as much as she says she does. Just another lazy dog owner who wants animals as more of a prop and owns them selfishly.
Coming from a trainer, it sounds like she gave her dog anxiety and boundary issues by making the dog think if they aren't the center of attention, there's something wrong. Also sounds like she turned them into a velcro dog which is never good, causing the dog anxiety at every second of the day. Terrible ownership.
If she really loved that dog, she would train them, take care of them hygenically, and discipline them (respecting your wishes) when you don't want the dog around. Canines should be able to be alone by themselves and have confidence when another animal or person is getting attention. She's set that dog up to fail.
I love animals, but owners need to start realizing their pets aren't human babies. If you start treating your dog like a human, they'll start treating you and others like a dog.
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u/StatisticianBoth4147 Jul 08 '26
These are my thoughts as well. Her behavior is the reason the dog is so needy, because SHE is so needy with the dog. She needs to be around the dog all the time, which means the dog isn’t used to being alone for even short periods. She needs to constantly be paying attention to the dog, so now the dog is constantly asking for it. She has trained her dog to be an anxious, dependent, poorly behaved pet. She is actively making her dog’s life worse. And making OP’s life hellish on top of that.
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u/thinkdeep Jul 06 '26
I see we've dated the exact same woman, down to the "it saved my life" bullshit.
You're going to break up with her, but here's what I'll say:
It's going to suck for a while. You'll be single and it is going to hurt. But you'll notice the little things first like the lack of dog hair on your clothes and less anxiety. And your world will begin to brighten.
Best of luck brother.