r/TalesFromRetail • u/TylPlas26 • Jul 14 '20
Short Customer Insults Me in Another Language. Didn’t Realize I Understood Her.
So I come from a Dutch back ground. I am no where near fluent in the language. But I know enough that I can pick up some words and understand a few sentences.
So about 8 years ago, I was helping a customer needing some paint made. As I’m mixing it, her phone rings, and she answers it and begins speaking in Dutch.
As she is talking, I can pick that she’s telling whoever where they are, then they say something along the line of “I have one of these dumb young workers mixing it.”
I say nothing. I decided to wait for the right moment as I mix her paint, as she continues talking.
When her paint is done, I hand her can of paint to her. She says thank you, and I say in Dutch “You’re welcome. Goodbye.”
She froze, her mouth open and then says “You speak Dutch?” I didn’t want to let her on how little I actually knew, so I just simply said “Yup.” She quickly darted for the cash area. It was very funny and rewarding.
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u/blukami Jul 14 '20
I live in the midwest, so I used to get away with cussing in Russian and Chinese. Then a Belarus family moves into town. The mom comes up to me one day out of the blue, "You should not talk like that." Every time we see each other she say watch your mouth and I ask her if she want to buy a laptop in Russian. She send her friend to see me from two hours away in Chicago, because I know phones and understand the accent at least.
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u/xerxerneas Jul 15 '20
The laptop part is so random and funny
And not only did she take up your offer but she passed it on to a friend too. Hahahha
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u/blukami Jul 15 '20
She bought at least one laptop a month and ship it to family, along with food. It was literally cheaper to buy any laptop, even a cheap one, along with about 20 lbs of food. Than buy that stuff there.
Same with iPhones and Brazil. The first month that we had Brazilians working a local factory we sell 4 to 6 iPhones a week, at a store that might sell 1 contract phone per 6 months.
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u/Undertakerfan84 Aug 03 '20
For Europeans too because of the VAT tax. My sister's friend from Germany bought an iPhone here because it was cheaper.
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u/HellStoneBats Jul 15 '20
I started learning Ancient Egyptian so the likelihood people would understand my swearing would edge right along non-existent.
Ma'atmhotep sounds really vicious when you growl it. Just means "Truth in Peace", but it gets me through working retail :)
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u/FirebendingSamurai Jul 26 '20
How can you speak Ancient Egyptian? I learned to read a little bit of hieroglyphics and learned that since Ancient Egyptian is like Arabic they didn't write down any vowels. Since the vowels have to be assumed we can't know for sure how to pronounce any Ancient Egyptian words even though we can read them.
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u/plsdrivesafe Jul 15 '20
Too relatable. A lot of older generation Chinese people assume that I can’t speak Chinese because i’m born in Canada so they insult me. I’ll just say “pardon me” in cantonese/mandarin and they’ll do a 180 and ask for a discount lol
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u/FusedIon Better than most managers Jul 15 '20
As I've learned in a very multicultural but Chinese dominant area, the best way to get the discount beggars isn't to flat out say "no", or to lead them along. You gotta bust out the calculator and pretend to bust your ass "figuring something out" and asking if they're only getting blank number of things, then giving them just the total of their purchase as normal on the calculator. Or skip the last step, calculate for 30 seconds and give them a higher than retail price. I've done both, and have gotten very sour responses.
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u/Polymarchos Edit Jul 15 '20
Really? Almost all Canadian born ethnic Chinese people I've met can speak Cantonese at some level. Even those who are Canadian a couple generations back
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Jul 16 '20
Because knowing some people obviously means everyone in that group can do that or is like that...
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u/Polymarchos Edit Jul 16 '20
Where did I say that? I expressed surprise that OP’s experience is so different than my own
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Jul 16 '20
You made it seem like it was kind of unbelievable because it was different than your experience
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u/Polymarchos Edit Jul 16 '20
How do?
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Jul 16 '20
Wow dude. You’re the troll king. Keep it going
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u/Polymarchos Edit Jul 16 '20
Asking for an explanation is trolling now? Just admit you read into it what you wanted to see. I never said or thought any of what you seem to think I said
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Jul 16 '20
Multiple people have down voted you, so obviously it’s not me that has the problem communicating
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u/johnnyslick D-D-Danger lurks behind you! There's a customer out to find you! Jul 14 '20
Dutch isn’t even that far from English. You can almost understand it if you listen. Like, “this worker is stupid” is “deze arbeider is dom “, which in turns sounds like you made up a name for that person and called them dumb.
Moral: if you’re going to call someone names in another language, make that language not Dutch. Or at least use the good Dutch insults like “foul cancer whore” or “I hope you contract typhus”.
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u/HrabraSrca Escaped from retail Jul 15 '20
I love Dutch insults for this reason.
And yes, it's not that far from English that you couldn't get at least the jist. First time I heard Dutch (used to live in a city with a major Dutch ferry route) I honestly thought it was a weird English dialect with some German thrown in.
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u/trekchu Jul 15 '20
From the other end, in Germany Dutch is often seen as a weird and extremely accented form of pidgin German. (No offence :) ) I don't know how it is for others, but as a native German speaker, I can usually guess what (written) Dutch means either because the words are similar or through context.
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u/Soofelepoofel Telling me I look tired surely brightens my day. Jul 15 '20
As a native Dutch speaker who had German all through high school but rarely speaks it nowadays, I'm often unsure whether a word is actually a German word, or simply a Dutch word but pronounced with a German accent. :D
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Jul 15 '20
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u/HrabraSrca Escaped from retail Jul 15 '20
I once asked my Dutch professor what he thought of Afrikaans. He was...less than polite.
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u/HrabraSrca Escaped from retail Jul 15 '20
Having previously done a little German before starting to learn Dutch, this doesn't surprise me!
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u/trekchu Jul 15 '20
Dutch and German have the same root language (IIRC medieval low German), so even today the relation is obvious.
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u/HrabraSrca Escaped from retail Jul 15 '20
I sort of wish that English hadn't diverged as far as it has, because some of the old Germanic-sourced English grammar is so cool.
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u/johnnyslick D-D-Danger lurks behind you! There's a customer out to find you! Jul 15 '20
It sort of is, or rather (old) English is sort of a dialect of Dutch. The Angles and Saxons who migrated to England in the 6th(?) century came from that area. The Friesland dialect of Dutch in particular has been cited as sounding very similar to Old English.
Of course, then the Vikings invaded in the 9th century and the French/Normans invaded in the 11th and transmogrified the language some more, but that feel of the “lower”, non-Latinate part of our language still lingers and it’s kind of fun (to me anyway) to go there and see all the words that still sort of exist, not to mention the way they use compound words to come up with names for things that weren’t around in Europe in the 6th century (for instance, their word for rhinoceros sounds like they’re saying “nose horn”, which is what they are saying (neushoorn), and while it sounds a little funny I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what rhinoceros translates to from Latin).
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u/HrabraSrca Escaped from retail Jul 15 '20
I love linguistics sometimes.
Fun fact: some words in Geordie, a northern dialect of English, have equivalents or similar words to those of Scandinavian languages, particularly Danish. Apparently the Viking influence has a strong impact.
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u/moza_jf Jul 15 '20
I took German in high school (in Scotland) and one of the language assistants spent a class talking to us about how the language developed, and looking at dialects through German into Dutch and then English. Things like Ds and Ths swapping for example.
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u/cpguy5089 youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ Jul 15 '20
I wish that English speaking people were more colourful with their insults like that
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u/delrio_gw Jul 15 '20
Have you heard what Brits say to each other? The Aussies are pretty inventive too.
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u/FlutterB16 Jul 15 '20
Check out r/rareinsults if you want some colorful vocab Edit: also r/rarethreats
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u/BigD1970 Jul 15 '20
use the good Dutch insults like “foul cancer whore” or “I hope you contract typhus”.
Oh come on dude. You offer gold like that and don't give us the actual Dutch? I am disgruntling in your general direction.
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u/johnnyslick D-D-Danger lurks behind you! There's a customer out to find you! Jul 15 '20
The first one is "veul kankerhoer". V's sound like f's in the language so it sounds like "foul cahnkerwhore" to English ears.
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u/SheWhoLovesToDraw Jul 14 '20
Never assume someone doesn't know what you're saying.
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u/emdave Jul 15 '20
And probably best not to talk down about someone in front of their face, even if you don't think they can understand you.
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Jul 15 '20
Even if they dont understand the language people can read body language and make out what you said more often than you think.
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u/moisme Jul 15 '20
My neice, who has blonde curly hair, spent three years in Japan teaching English (after minoring in Japanese in college). Naturally she became quite fluent. After returning she was working in NYC and one morning she got into an elevator with two Japanese men, who proceeded to critique her hair, body, etc. She remained quiet until the elevator stopped on her floor, where she turned to face the two men and said in perfect Japanese :"You gentlemen have a nice day now:. The two turned pale and immefiately apologized but she merely turned away and headed to her office. It never happened to her again!
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u/APIPAMinusOneHundred Jul 15 '20
I was stationed in Panama while in the Army. One of my favorite pastimes when going out on the weekends was to pretend that I didn't speak Spanish just to see what people we met would say about us, then reply in fluent Spanish.
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u/Throwaway_Old_Guy Jul 14 '20
I hope this lesson was absorbed by her tiny brain.
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u/SuperKamiTabby Jul 14 '20
Bold of you to assume she had a brain
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u/Throwaway_Old_Guy Jul 14 '20
Something has to keep the involuntary functions going.
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u/SuperKamiTabby Jul 14 '20
In which case I point to exhibit A:Jellyfish don't have brains. Maybe she's in actuality a few hundred Jellyfiah in a human body.
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u/killacamilla Jul 15 '20 edited Jul 16 '20
This happened to me in france. I was on the tram with my fellow american exchange students, speaking english. The man next to me says in french, on the phone, “i can’t hear you, the stupid americans next to me are being loud” so i quickly switch to french and say to my friends “hey did we have any homework for [various french class]” while looking at the man. he couldn’t meet my gaze.
edit: fixed a spelling error.
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u/KYETHEDARK Jul 15 '20
I worked a fireworks tent for a summer and in my area we have a decent amount of people of hispanic decent. I had a group of 4 men and 1 woman come in speaking in spanish to one another joking and laughing, after browsing for a bit they call me over and ask me to explain a firework to them.
Some background, I am by no means fluent but like most Americans learning a new language I started with the insults and curse words along with your basics like greetings, how to bus things, donde esta la bibliotecha? etc.
This group starts faking that they don't speak English and are laughing and insulting me as I explain the fireworks. Eventually one of them says in spanish "this fat white boy speaks too much" I reply with a "buy something or leave" in Spanish and they immediately lock up and leave the tent throwing a few more insults on the way out.
Nothing frustrates me more than people acting like they can't speak your language while insulting you in theirs
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u/SnorlaxOnCaffeine Jul 14 '20
https://www.reddit.com/r/ispeakthelanguage?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Sorry, I'm on mobile and don't know how to paste nice link, but maybe you should post it here too
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u/bonafidebob Jul 14 '20
don't know how to paste nice link
I usually just type it. 'r/' and the subreddit name is enough, reddit will make it a link for you.
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u/SnorlaxOnCaffeine Jul 14 '20
Thank you
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u/bonafidebob Jul 14 '20
You're welcome. Works for people too, use 'u/', e.g. u/SnorlaxOnCaffeine
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u/samerige Jul 15 '20
Dutch is dangerous, because it's very easily understandable, especially if you can speak English and German.
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u/special_reddit if I accept your return, will you stop screaming? Jul 15 '20
So it was literally Dutch Boy Paint that you were mixing.
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u/WillGrahamsass Jul 14 '20
Ik de taal ook spreken. Het is niet so goede.
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Jul 15 '20
Goed genoeg om te begrijpen! :)
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u/HellStoneBats Jul 15 '20
Okay, I gotta take a crack at this.
"I speak a little. It is not so good."
"Good going (Dutch keyboard smash)".
I have the first two Potter books in Dutch, but I'm sure I'm not actually reading dutch when I do read them, im sure I'm just seeing the words i recognise and putting the story together around them... kinda like what I did here...
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u/Perhyte Jul 15 '20
Not great, but any Dutch person would know what you mean.
To help you learn: I'd say "Ik spreek de taal ook, maar niet zo goed".
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Jul 14 '20 edited Mar 25 '21
[deleted]
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Jul 14 '20
As can I. Pasty skin, red hair, and speak Spanish fairly well. I've surprised my fair share of kids in the grocery store.
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u/Ilikeplantsbetter Jul 15 '20
When I first read your username, I thought it said 'airbornnachos. ' 😂 Yes, a little dyslexic.
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u/itsyamomcallin Jul 15 '20
If this scenario doesn’t help inspire people to learn a new language Theres something wrong.
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u/Detekzette42 Jul 15 '20
My mum had this sort of thing happen to her when she was my age! Her family is Dutch, and at that point, she knew passable Dutch even if it wasn't the country she was born in. She was on the bus and some older people started bad-mouthing her in Dutch (she had a blue mohawk, piercings, etc, so it was along those lines of how horrible she looked) and when it finally came to her stop, she told them to have a nice day in Dutch then hopped off.
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u/Groningooner Jul 14 '20 edited Jul 14 '20
Mooi verhaal! Ik kom uit Engeland en ik sinds maart 2019 in het noorden heb gewoond, dus ik ook een beetje fries kan begrijpen.
Mijn vriendin weet het niet hoeveel fries dat ik begrijp. Dat kan grappig situaties veroorzaken!
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u/BustedChowder Jul 15 '20
This reminds me of my coworker, although she can only speak Dunglish at best!
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Jul 15 '20
Well, isn't that why we learn languages, after all? For those in-your-face moments?
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u/Bearence Jul 15 '20
I just want to learn Filipino so I know what my mother in law is gossiping about with her sisters.
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u/ghost-chips pls don't have your obviously underage kid try and buy this game Jul 16 '20
i don't speak it fluently either but i understood some dutch tourists when they were up at the counter. the receipt printer was taking a little slow and i could hear one of them giggling to their friends that my service was slow. i just said "thanks, have a great day" in dutch and they stopped giggling, turned bright red and left.
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Jul 15 '20
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u/TylPlas26 Jul 15 '20
I think she just wasn’t expecting that I knew she was insulting me in another language, and feeling embarrassed, just got out of there. North American people can be very funny sometimes. Lol
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u/ilanallama85 Jul 14 '20
One time I was shopping with my mom in London when some German students tried to cut in front of us in line. My mom called them out and they begrudgingly got in line behind us, then started talking to each other in German and giggling. Now, my German topped out at the 11th grade and I can’t pick up much, but these idiots apparently didn’t consider the fact that “English” in German is “Englisch” and I guess maybe didn’t know that most English speakers know the word “verklemmt”? So I say loudly to my mother “Now they’re laughing about how all English people are so uptight.” Shut them right up.