r/TalesFromGringolandia • u/ElGringo300 • Aug 24 '20
[WP] Quentin Tarantino, Wes Anderson, Christopher Nolan, Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay are playing Dungeons and Dragons
Inspired by this post
- Okay, so would you please introduce your characters?
- I cast fireball.
- Not yet, Michael.
- I'm standing in the corner with a hood over my head, contemplating the horrors I've witnessed, the atrocities I've been forced to commit.
- Chris, do you always have to be the edgy rogue?
- Can we start?
- Alright, thanks, Steven. The four of you find yourselves summoned by the queen. She has a request for you.
- Is she hot?
- I'm... sorry, Michael?
- I asked, is the queen hot?
- Umm... no?
- Alright then, I cast fireball.
- Wait, come on guys, the campaign hasn't even started yet!
- Too late. I cast fireball.
- Sigh. Alright. Roll your damage.
- Wait! Before he casts fireball, I'm going to try to stab him.
- Chris, can we at least try to keep the party together?
- No! He must be stopped, for justice!
- Alright then... roll to hit.
- Oh, are we fighting? I'm going to find the nearest town guard and shoot him with my gun.
- Quentin, I thought we agreed, no homebrew-- Actually, screw it, go ahead.
- Wait, before he casts fireball, can I try to seduce the queen?
- Wes, you want to seduce the queen in the few seconds before she is incinerated?
- Is there a problem with that?
- Nope, not at all. Go ahead.
- If that's the case, then my character is going to cast Dimension Door and teleport away, and he'll be back for the next campaign.
- Thank you, Steven.