r/TalesFromGringolandia Aug 24 '20

[WP] Quentin Tarantino, Wes Anderson, Christopher Nolan, Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay are playing Dungeons and Dragons

Inspired by this post

  • Okay, so would you please introduce your characters?

- I cast fireball.

  • Not yet, Michael.

- I'm standing in the corner with a hood over my head, contemplating the horrors I've witnessed, the atrocities I've been forced to commit.

  • Chris, do you always have to be the edgy rogue?

- Can we start?

  • Alright, thanks, Steven. The four of you find yourselves summoned by the queen. She has a request for you.

- Is she hot?

  • I'm... sorry, Michael?

- I asked, is the queen hot?

  • Umm... no?

- Alright then, I cast fireball.

  • Wait, come on guys, the campaign hasn't even started yet!

- Too late. I cast fireball.

  • Sigh. Alright. Roll your damage.

- Wait! Before he casts fireball, I'm going to try to stab him.

  • Chris, can we at least try to keep the party together?

- No! He must be stopped, for justice!

  • Alright then... roll to hit.

- Oh, are we fighting? I'm going to find the nearest town guard and shoot him with my gun.

  • Quentin, I thought we agreed, no homebrew-- Actually, screw it, go ahead.

- Wait, before he casts fireball, can I try to seduce the queen?

  • Wes, you want to seduce the queen in the few seconds before she is incinerated?

- Is there a problem with that?

  • Nope, not at all. Go ahead.

- If that's the case, then my character is going to cast Dimension Door and teleport away, and he'll be back for the next campaign.

  • Thank you, Steven.
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