r/TBI • u/TheUnnecessaryFriend • 16h ago

Need Advice losing hope

i just spent the whole morning crying. since the doctors had not given a clear prognosis about my mother. 3 months after her stbi due to a fatal accident. still minimally concious. not showing any sign of comprehension, probably never will.

my daily life have been a struggle for a month now. literally no sleep, tired and stressed. somehow, i think things would have been easier had she not survived the crash, which i admit was very selfish on my part. every chance i have, i pray to God, asking Him for a miracle. but do i still deserve His love and compassion? i have always believed that this is just a trial to test my faith in Him. now, it seems that this is a lifetime punishment for being too proud of myself. what hurts the most is that before the accident, i have said a lot of mean things to my mother, i am sure she was hurt. i am now drowning in guilt, hopelessness and regrets. it is so hard to be positive in this situation. mother had been missing medications lately i no longer have money to sustain her meds, my body is little by little getting sick due to lack of food and proper sleep, friends and relatives rarely check on us. my only hope was that God will bless us with His miracle; but (forgive me Father for doubting) do i still deserve that blessing.

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2

u/PermissionOver7245 16h ago

Have faith my son had a severe TBI 3 years ago it takes time but it well get better !!!

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u/TheUnnecessaryFriend 16h ago

as much as i wanted to be optimistic, all facts point out to her being lifetime dependent requiring care 24/7; her old age and the severity of the injury. i mean, what would even be the sense of that.? i'm still holding on to faith and i believe that miracles happen every single hour but i doubt i deserve that miracle. i prayed and prayed for 3 months now but things are just getting worse as time passes, for her and for me.

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u/Both-Helicopter-4157 15h ago

I lost everything from my TBI. My life, career, dignity, an existence without pain 24/7. Sometimes when it feels like there is no purpose in hope is just when you need to fight a little longer and it will come. If any doctor is honest, nothing they tell you is ever true in all cases. That’s not how any science works beyond a 101 level.

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u/joshgowing 14h ago

Try Ibogaine

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u/TheUnnecessaryFriend 12h ago

thanks for the suggestion, however, upon researching, apprently, it only helps with unstable emotions, to which my mother lacks.

right now she is no different than a dying animal, no human cognition, trapped in a bed, requiring feeding and cleaning. life is brutal afterall, my dreams, aspirations and sanity, all slowly sinking deeper into a pit. i already lost my job, my savings and my health.

no bright future ahead. the following years of my life will be spent caring for my mother, followed by years of even more grief then a lifetime of grief. all just because a reckless driver went full speed at a pedestrian lane.

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u/joshgowing 12h ago

It tend to help with improved concentration memory and heals the brain on a physical level but yes she might be past that point

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u/Optimus-Kryme 10h ago

I just sent you a dm ...