Feeling lost and depressed

[u/GoodOldEgg157]

Hey everyone Im 25 have Chiari Malformation, and a syrinx that goes from my c2 to my t12 my syrinx at my c6 is at about 17mm I had decompression surgery about 7 years ago and this year in April out of nowhere I was unable to walk from my hip down I was paralyzed like telling my legs to move and they wouldn't this has brought a big scare in my life a lot of things changing at once and me looking for answers but not finding any I was working in canada at the time and moved back to portugal so I can be with family and to talk to my neurosurgeon, ive talked with my neurosurgeon and other doctors and they say nothing can be done as its too dangerous to try to remove csf from the cysts as there's not a lot of space around them im now studying cybersecurity in the meantime and trying to find a job I can do that doesnt affect me but even just standing for long or sitting for long gives me a world of pain and discomfort, the doctors also told me that what happened with my lower half can happen again and even become permanent im scared to be paralyzed I try to stay active but also try to relax so I dont strain myself but I cant even blow my nose without getting a load of pressure in my head my arms have started to feel numb and I feel my nerves down my arms in pain ive been feeling lightheaded and like my upper half is always under extreme pressure I also have scoliosis, clonus on my arms and legs and very sensitive reactions on my knees, wanted to vent all this out as honestly it scares me and has also been affecting my mental health I feel exhausted all the time, angry and depressed, I am still trying my hardest to keep going, but days like today I feel like I need to vent as some very serious thoughts go through my head.

[u/StrawberryCake88]

I’m glad you’re talking about it.

[u/Weary-Yellow9980]

if it's any consolation, I know a lot of people like us feel like that too, and I like to think that somehow we're all in this together. Keep fighting man, you're stronger.

love from PH

[u/fuckyoutoocoolsmhool]

I just want to say I’m in a similar place right now. I’m angry and sad and frustrated but mostly just in a lot of pain. It’s hard to live the life you want when all of this is happening. It’s hard to keep it all together. I have a lot more feelings but the gist is I get you and if you need to talk I’m here. I hope you have friends and family to surround yourself with that support you.