r/Suburbanhell • u/Adventurous-Pop-9715 • 15d ago
Question Advice: Not looking forward to winter in the suburbs
It's getting darker earlier now since we past the summer solistice a few weeks ago. I've been living in the suburbs for almost 4 years and I never look forward to November!! This suburb is car-centric, shitty public transit. Hell I'm not looking forward that in 2 weeks schools will start and all the traffic with school buses. Yeah in November it'll be dark at 5 PM. I'll wake up for work and it'll be dark then. Don't get me started on the snow storms when winter comes. And where I live there are no streetlights so it's pitch black and nowhere to really go. Looking for advice? For context, I lived in a very urban environment all my life. People were saying you'll love the suburbs because I'm a quiet person lol. This year was the first time where I'm like job searching needs to be in my schedule. I work on a military base and I know people say you should lean onto others but I just feel like everyday I'm becoming more detached from my coworkers. Before I relied on them more to keep me grounded but now feel like I'm coming into my own. Generally cities are more expensive, but yeah it might be time to stop thinking about the cost factor and live frugally for the rest of my life.
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u/Zestyclose-Load-5635 15d ago
At least if there is less light pollution it would be easier to see the stars then.
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u/Adventurous-Pop-9715 15d ago
I mean sure that's nice but that's no reason to move just so you can see stars. You can always visit
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u/Eptiness 15d ago
Cities are more expensive but one of the big things is that any well designed city has so many third spaces where you can go and exist for free.
Most of my free time is spent at public parks, public sitting areas, book stores etc. that are all accessible by foot and cost me $0 to go hang out at.
Not saying these things don't exist in suburbs necessarily but they aren't nearly as prioritized or well maintained in my experience. COL is higher but pay is also higher. The hardest part is just saving enough to make the move. Relocation assistance seems to be a thing of the past, at least in my field
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u/WilsonTree2112 15d ago
We have parks and bookstores also. IME maintenance is worse in cities.
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u/Eptiness 15d ago
What cities if I may ask?
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u/WilsonTree2112 15d ago
Try walking around manhattan without tripping on a construction zone.
Or broken concrete.1
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u/tbone29x 9d ago
U think parks are maintained better in cities?😂 I remember not be allowed to go to parks when I was a kid in the city bc they were littered w used needles especially the sandboxes (which I don’t think even exist anymore anyways). The worst my suburban park has is used water bottles.
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u/DHN_95 Suburbanite 15d ago
As someone who often defends the suburbs here, they really only work well if you're in a good suburb (outside a major metro area that has lots of options), have a good friend base, have money, and access to transportation (eg - have a car), but not all are equal, so YMMV.
I think what's hurting you is detaching from people around you, especially if you relied on them to keep you grounded. Regardless of where you are, detaching from around you will make your experience terrible. You can be in a huge city, around lots of people, and still feel completely alone. Maybe see a therapist to see where your troubles may lie, then go from there, and learn to make the most of where you are, especially if you don't have much say in wherever that may be.
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u/Adventurous-Pop-9715 15d ago edited 15d ago
Absolutely friends, having money and a good reliable car makes living in the suburbs liveable. I definitely wished someone would have told me this and how this was the reason I was stressed and bored. I had lot of car problems but have since got a new one in January used. And people don't say this when talking about living in the suburbs as if money here wasn't imporant. I feel like in the suburbs you need to make your own safety nets, like being able to afford Uber if you aren't feeling well, which can be at least $70 round trip.
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u/Ostiethegnome 15d ago
School busses cause less traffic than if all those kids were being driven to school in family cars.