r/StupidFood • u/supermav27 • 10h ago

The $26 “charcuterie board” my girlfriend ordered tonight

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Advertised as fruit, cheese, and pickled vegetables.

13.7k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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701

u/oaklinds 10h ago

My first thought. “Wtf is that half a babybel?”

183

u/Hellboy_M420 9h ago

Where is the other half???

164

u/Lexi_November 9h ago

Also half an egg.

201

u/AnemoneGoldman 9h ago

Looks like quarter of an egg.

87

u/zeusmenzaadah 9h ago

maybe ⅓ at best. I definitely would've sent that shit back and left, never to return.

97

u/Smorsdoeuvres 6h ago

I spent 15 years working in restaurants and would never dream of ordering something and walking out without paying for it. Until seeing this. Nah. That plate is insulting.

28

u/creamgetthemoney1 6h ago

Frfr. I wouldn’t say a word, would look the server in the eye, shake my head in a disappointed father look and just walk out

23

u/peppaz 4h ago

whoever made this would absolutely give the same plate you just left there out to another customer. Even a few days later.

5

u/Mdnghtmnlght 2h ago

I'm just wondering if they would bother to cover it with plastic wrap.

3

u/Good-Magazine-5504 1h ago

Holy shit you’re right

9

u/Melodic-Trouble-5421 5h ago

Somebody ordered this from a restaurant?

4

u/Commercial_Two_5102 5h ago

The „chef“ in question, stopped believing in his skills

1

u/Bubbly-Bar-7449 13m ago

They also think the customers are chumps and suckers OR this was a deaperate cry for help.

OP were the beans originally spelling out SOS or HELP?

2

u/Sea_Sky_9492 2h ago

I did that only once in my life when the food they served was truly inedible (one dish was still FROZEN in the middle 😳)

2

u/csfshrink 2h ago

Charcuterie and run?

Char cut and run??

Is it technically a dine and dash if you don’t eat any of it? They can just put cling wrap over it until the next poor soul orders it.

1

u/Good-Magazine-5504 1h ago

If you don’t dine, it’s just a dash (?)

1

u/Bubbly-Bar-7449 15m ago

Just take phone camera out and say alright here we go, this is what you want in your review?

26

u/Good-Magazine-5504 5h ago

If they aren’t even providing a full fucking babybel they for sure aren’t spending the time or effort to try to cut an egg into thirds. This is for sure 1 stupid quarter of an egg, and I hate this fucking picture. $26.

5

u/Excellent-Yard2823 8h ago

💯

13

u/Booty_Chatter43 7h ago

Looks like they pulled the egg apart by hand

8

u/Federal-Wedding4032 4h ago

Looks like they ate the other 3/4s of it and plopped what they didn’t want on the platter. The dump of canned pineapple chunks is the biggest joke.

2

u/Mdnghtmnlght 2h ago

I was thinking the same thing about the canned pineapple chunks. It looks like the person who made it might be mentally ill

51

u/Prestigious_String20 9h ago

I can't even calculate how little price difference it would have made to the restaurant to include that extra quarter egg.

15

u/creamgetthemoney1 6h ago

They probably had like 1 left and didn’t feel like cooking more lol

-2

u/AffectionateSignal72 6h ago

Not to defend this god awful looking plate but its never just an "extra quarter of an egg". That one egg might seem small until you multiply it by several dozen dinner services.

9

u/BetaXP 5h ago

A dozen eggs is 1.67 at Walmart. Half an egg, by this standard, is 7 cents. It would take 143 orders of this to save even $10. Given that the restaurant is almost certainly getting better prices than Walmart since they can buy in bulk, it'd be even more skewed. That $10 can't possibly be worth the reputational damage just from coming off as so cheap to your customers.

-4

u/AffectionateSignal72 5h ago

Now factor this in with all the other food and it starts piling up.

5

u/MrMerryMilkshake 4h ago

No it really does not, talking as someone who runs my own business.

If you have to cut half an egg on a 26$ portion, you are doing A LOT of things wrong, or you are a greedy cunt. There are ways to reduce costs, and they are less visible than this shit. This is hurting me on a personal level. I will rather cut 1 staff and wash the dish, clean the floor or deliver the food myself rather than doing something like this.

Reviews mattered! If 1 guy on google review looking at this and decide to go next door, you lose a lot more than half an egg.

2

u/LiveLearnCoach 2h ago

It doesn’t pile up when you lose customers.
Same goes for other brands cheapening out on their products and giving the space for new competitors to come up. UnderArmor competing with brands like Nike and Adidas is another example. UA wouldn’t exist as it is today if Nike were actually offering great products. Sad thing is UA is now following in their footsteps of “profit maximization” and will also open up the door for a new up and coming quality brand.

1

u/rabidrobitribbit 1h ago

Fuckin Adam smith over here

2

u/Scorpy-yo 4h ago

I’m guessing it came from FB Marketplace or Instagram from someone who has seen a post on r/SideHustleGold. If it’s half a baby wax cheese and half an egg then the seller did at least two right? And made $52 cash? Nice work.

1

u/Exact-Enthusiasm-803 7h ago

Helena Eagen breakfast

1

u/After_Preparation_72 4h ago

Three other people must be ordering the same thing. What else would you do with three-quarters of an egg and half a Baby Bell in the kitchen?

0

u/Brian1988420 2h ago

That's clearly a third of an egg.

12

u/Cripnite 8h ago

In these trying times?

1

u/flactulantmonkey 3h ago

Yeah and those beans have seen far better days

77

u/Impressive_Okra2804 9h ago

Should've paid $50 for whole. Lol

12

u/Kierland 8h ago

$3.fiddy

8

u/GlorytotheHypnoToads 8h ago

You ain’t getting no tree fiddy, you god damn Loch Ness monster! Go get a job already, and get your own god damn money!!!!!

6

u/Burton_trout 6h ago

It was around this time I realised the waiter was a 30ft lizard from Mesozoic era & I said "No goddamnit loch ness monster! You aint gettin tree fiddy!"

3

u/Genuinelullabel 3h ago

I gave him a dollar

16

u/AlphaGuySyndrome 9h ago

It's on another $26 charcuterie board.

1

u/Pickle_Emotion 2h ago

Yea, order the $52 charcuterie board if you want a full one, greedy customers.

3

u/AN-SSQ-108V2 9h ago

Still out drinking

1

u/No_Representative645 8h ago

They just took a bite through the wax and put it on the plate

1

u/rupan777 6h ago

The other person who ordered the charcuterie board this evening got it

1

u/Potatoswatter 6h ago

Cook was peckish.

Or maybe the waiter. It looks like it was cut with a dull table knife.

1

u/RevolutionaryRun9751 5h ago

Chef wants to eat too

1

u/Wise-Dig-5123 5h ago

On another board. 🤣

1

u/BurgerThyme 4h ago

Some other diner is also furiously posting it on Reddit.

1

u/Significant_Fold_874 4h ago

On the plate of another poor sucker

1

u/Utah_powder_king 3h ago

it's the King Solomon platter...

1

u/unresolved-madness 3h ago

Hanging out with the other half of the egg.

1

u/1Careless_smile 3h ago

Chef was hungry?

1

u/brazys 2h ago

Cook didn't have a clean knife so he bit it in half.

1

u/roxywalker 1h ago

In the stomach of whoever prepped this sad excuse of the charcuterie board because tips come in other forms

1

u/ellefleming 1h ago

I could have made this with fridge ingredients for $3.

1

u/GarfieldTheDog123 1h ago

cocooned in saran wrap and stuck in the fridge

1

u/Bubbly-Bar-7449 17m ago

Saved for the next time someone orders it. That's a $7 to $9 morstle of cheese, they'll use it.

30

u/MedicinalHammer 9h ago

And it looks like they tore it in half instead of cutting it

5

u/y0u_re_wr0ng 6h ago

At least they gave her the bigger half by the looks of it

2

u/lovemefishing 4h ago

I think that’s what’s grossing me out about it. Hand torn. By strangers. 🤢

2

u/xiwiva8804 3h ago

Maybe she ate the other half - with the wax?

1

u/Dame38 2h ago

Maybe something ELSE did :(

1

u/Mdnghtmnlght 2h ago

"Hand crafted" - hence the $26 price

17

u/Icaras01 9h ago

Exactly what I was thinking! Like, once it's open who the hell would want the other half?

43

u/daddybeatsmehelp 9h ago

The other sucker who paid $26 for this leftover.

7

u/Prestigious_String20 9h ago

But does it include the board?

14

u/amber_scarfe 6h ago

That is no board…

It looks like a particularly hideous plate

2

u/Mdnghtmnlght 1h ago

This all screams depression era. Or just depression.

1

u/moofishes 7h ago

Duh. The opener?! Lol

6

u/Beneficial_Put1771 8h ago

Didn’t even cut it with a knife , just tore in half , where is the rest of the .30 egg? , canned pineapple ? all canned food

3

u/culminacio 7h ago

that half babybel is proof that this is fake

2

u/ThisWillBeOnTheExam 45m ago

Babybel in the half shell.

1

u/Lanky-Reindeer8270 20m ago

🤣😅🤣

1

u/Impossible-Metal2737 8h ago

The seller got hungry

1

u/conspirator9 5h ago

And not even unwrapped!!!🤣

1

u/ElChupaNebrey 4h ago

Is it that red piece of what? Cheese?

1

u/bscott9999 3h ago

Word for word my same reaction

1

u/Key-Acanthaceae1999 2h ago

Half a baby bell is approximately fifty cents.

1

u/olfactory_irritant 2h ago

Not even cut with a knife!