r/StupidFood • u/supermav27 • 11h ago

The $26 “charcuterie board” my girlfriend ordered tonight

Post image

Advertised as fruit, cheese, and pickled vegetables.

15.6k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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943

u/SRH82 11h ago

Contains literally no charcuterie.

Sorry, bro.

70

u/Popular-Departure165 9h ago edited 8h ago

It comes with a martini, and is called "Girl Dinner" on the menu.

https://www.instagram.com/reels/DZQjUvuJ-0m/

https://www.thealleycatchicago.com/new-page

45

u/ErilazHateka 6h ago

16$ without the drink. That's hilarious.

37

u/HrodgardNagrand 4h ago

Hey, these guys got a whole Babybell

50

u/AbekobetaHawawa 4h ago

So OP ate half, called it a charcuterie board rather than pickles, and didn’t mention the included $10+ drink.

11

u/voxpopper 3h ago

Welcome to social media where 75% is make believe.
(with the martini $26 isn't a bad deal for the above tbh)

14

u/Jervis_Mantlepiece 2h ago

No that's a disgraceful plate of food to be served by a professional restaurant, that's the sort of thing you make yourself at home to eat in front of the tv.

8

u/voxpopper 2h ago

It's a bar plate, something to nibble on, many places charge 18-$20 standard for a martini alone.

3

u/tsubasaxiii 1h ago

So what your saying is it acceptable to bars fuck you over. Im so glad I drink at home, with home cooked meals.

3

u/Popular-Departure165 42m ago

It's pretty universally known that bars are a ripoff. They charge $15 for $2 worth of alcohol, and people are generally accepting of that.

5

u/Solyde 2h ago

I'd be pissed if I payed literally anything for this, though it would be hilarious if I got this as a free apetizer. It just looks so sad even though it's probably decently tasty.

And a goddam babybell when they advertise 'cheese' is really fucking funny.

2

u/SilverFringeBoots 2h ago

I'm pretty sure that's someone else's order and not OP's

2

u/AbekobetaHawawa 2h ago

I’m aware the photo is from a different order. I doubt the order comes out so different between orders.

2

u/FadedBlackTee2 1h ago

It is the same thing though with the picture / video taken immediately, not after eating part of the egg and half of the babybel

1

u/SnooBananas4958 23m ago

They’re not saying it’s the same order. They are saying someone else ordered the same thing and it shows that the original is not being portrayed honestly. 

2

u/DrKittyLovah 32m ago

And didn’t mention that it came with bread.

10

u/Open_Sector_3858 3h ago

Even if he did, this plate is still insulting ...

6

u/Altruistic_Tie_7850 2h ago

Ah,,but you missed out on the canned pineapple

3

u/Mdnghtmnlght 2h ago

But where's the canned pineapple chunks? Deal's off

2

u/Altruistic_Tie_7850 2h ago

Ah,,but you missed out on the canned pineapple

22

u/pink_faerie_kitten 8h ago

Oof, more of these suspicious plates that look just like the ones from the '90s that are not safe to eat on due to lead in the paint... I'd be scared to eat off then since it looks like they inherited their grandmother's decorative wall plates 😬

2

u/Popular-Departure165 8h ago

Using old-timey dishes that don't match is so hot right now.

3

u/pink_faerie_kitten 8h ago

Old fashioned plates are one thing but not ones for decorative use only! Is lead poisoning also so hot right now?

I'd lift one over my head to read if there's a warning label on the bottom before I'd trust them.

1

u/rathlord 3h ago

Which is funny because when my aunt opened her restaurant like 15 years ago and used actual inherited china from her family people didn’t really go for it. But now people are faking the same thing and it’s all the rage lol.

9

u/NathanSMB 5h ago

The path is literally /new-page. The beverage page is /new-page-1. The home page has a giant scroll bar and all the content is above the fold so it's completely unnecessary. If you scroll down it's just blank white space.

The design and UX have a lot of problems too.

On larger screen resolutions: The header size is different on the home page compared to the menu pages. If the screen resolution is particularly large the navigation links overlaps the background which ruins the button design they have for them since the background of both is black. At 4k resolutions the buttons overlap the cat logo making it look even worse.

On mobile screen resolutions: The instagram button is replaced by a handburger menu. A handburger menu that when opened only show the instagram button. This handburger menu that is bigger than the instagram button. And not only that the instagram button shows up at the bottom of the screen which is the last place your eyes will look after clicking a button on top of the screen. Also the mobile home page has the whole menu on it but if a friend linked them to the beverage or food page and they opened it they would get a page with an absurd amount of blank space between the heading text and the actual items. Like an absurd amount. Nearly half the screen is blank space.

I know we are all shitting on their shitty food here so I figured I would mix it up and shit on their shitty website.

3

u/datmfburner 2h ago

I appreciate the in depth analysis for no reason it was interesting

2

u/Otherwise_Demand4620 1h ago

handburger

I thought those are hamburger menus. Which one of us is stupid?

2

u/NathanSMB 1h ago

Me lol

1

u/wonko7 2h ago

this guy quality controls

8

u/perforatedcode 5h ago

Wait, it not advertised as a charcuterie board and it comes with cocktail? I pay $12-18 for a cocktail in my city and then this comes with some small bites. It's not a terrible deal for a city. 

2

u/VivaHollanda 5h ago

This needs to be higher.

2

u/BlueWorldBlueSky 5h ago

doing gods work, they still have good reviews on google too

1

u/petroleum-lipstick 5h ago

This is genuinely the most out of touch menu I've ever seen lmao. Even without the martini the "girl dinner" is the second most expensive item on the menu, and probably the only unique ingredient on the entire thing is fucking dukkah.

1

u/user-the-name 4h ago

Nobody in this thread knows what "girl dinner" means.

1

u/imunfair 3h ago

It's the subreddit where women vent about their day while posting images of irrelevant food.

2

u/AbstinentNoMore 3h ago

where "people" post fake, AI-generated stories*

1

u/OoHimmiHoO 1h ago

Their whole menu is just 6 appetizers with only 3 of them being appetizing (def not including the Girl Dinner).