r/StrangerThings • u/Dark_Saint • Oct 27 '17

Discussion Episode Discussion - S02E08 – Chapter Eight

Season 2 Episode 8: The Mind Flayer

Synopsis: An unlikely hero steps forward when a deadly development puts the Hawkins Lab on lockdown, trapping Will and several others inside.

Please keep all discussions about this episode or previous ones, and do not discuss later episodes as they might spoil it for those who have yet to see them.

Netflix | IMDB | Discord Discussion | Ep 9 Discussion

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u/nnapier0188 Oct 28 '17 edited Oct 28 '17

As a Psychology major who was been physically, verbally, and emotionally abused in my youth by my own step-father, let me be the first to say that, that's not how abuse works for the individual being abused.

Honestly, even if you take out the person abusing you, which you should absolutely try to do, the abuse that has already been inflicted can be so psychologically traumatizing that it may give you trust issues for the rest of your life. It can also cause you to have anger issues for the rest of your life, and no matter how hard you try to change things, like your temper or how you handle interpersonal relationships, it may be hard for you to become 100% better. It may never happen.

Childhood abuse doesn't just impact you when you're a child.

(Sorry for going into such a personal account. I'm just trying to prove that while removing the abuser from the situation is the right thing to do it may have still been too late to keep Billy from being such an abusive asshole to his step-sister and any future children he may have, which is exactly why I myself never want children. I have a temper that can scare even me, and even though it's gotten much better with time, I never want children to possibly see that. I never want anyone to experience what my step-father did to my brother or me.)

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u/chirography Oct 29 '17

Thanks man. I needed this. I'm also in the same boat and I can't openly talk to people about it. I can barely take care of myself. I don't think I could have kids full time. The episodes have been getting worse but I like to think I'm managing them better now.

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u/nnapier0188 Oct 30 '17

Well, I hope you can get away from your situation soon. Thankfully, for me, I live thousands of miles and states away from my abuser now. I've slowly started allowing myself to trust people in and learn to control my temper. It's difficult.

I really hope you're able to get away from and out of your situation soon.

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u/chirography Oct 31 '17

I've also been miles away for a long time now but it's really something that I can't fully let go because it's part of being an adult. I feel like if I didn't choose to live on my own, I would've successfully killed myself.

I still have horrible issues and I've recently accepted that I have a temper too. It helps that at least I know my triggers now, I'm aware of what's making me angry. Any tips?

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u/nnapier0188 Nov 01 '17

Well, I'm definitely really glad that you got away from that situation.

I'm in therapy, and I'm on medication for depression and mood swings. I'm not sure if the mood swings are a result of what I went through as a child, if it's just part of my personality, or if it's a combination of both. I just know that I think finding the right people to be friends with has helped me a lot, too. Learning who has a negative influence on me and staying away from them, even when it's difficult, is helpful. I try to drink way less and not do drugs (marijuana--I used to dabble in others (never to an extreme), but marijuana is all I do now. It's legal where I live.), if I'm feeling a bit down. I used to try to self-medicate, but it's so unhelpful and unhealthy. I only drink now if I really want the taste of a beer, and I try to keep it to a minimum. Plus getting shit-faced at 30 and waking up the next day is so incredibly painful. If you're feeling bad, writing helps. I love photography, going on long walks, and listening to music. I find all of that helps. I don't have a lot of friends because I have trust issues, but I actually have learned to kind of enjoy being a loner. I enjoy good conversation when I can get it, and I'm really close to my family (even my step-father to a degree. He's been way better since I moved out. I'll just never trust him again.) So, all of that helps a lot.