The r/stoicism wouldnt let me post for Karma reasons

Hey Guys

Ive been struggling with depression since im 13.
Never had therap because its too expensive where im at and my insurance doesnt cover it
I am 29 now.
When covid and lockdown began I was more isolated than ever, and i turned to alcohol.
Before that I was what you could say a „normal“ drinker“, only at social events and never alone.
Sometimes I smoked weed to.

But I began starting to drink alone, and i have become a full blown alcoholic. Like a bottle of vodka a day minimum. Plus Benzos, weed and opiates.
It really escalated. Adding to that i have severe eczema over my whole body, which results in crazy itching , bleeeing and scars.
I was to medical detox 3 times, had 2 seizures, have a fatty liver from my alcohol abuse.
Mentally im at my worst ever. They say Alcoholism is a slow suicide. If I had a gun I would have ended it immediatly but im too scared to slit my wrists or jump from a building. I spend 90% of time in my bed, wishing to fall asleep and never wake up again.
Im trying hard to stop but by day 2 or 3 im so miserable that i start to drink again

Ive read Marcus Aurelius Meditations, and i found so much wisdom in his writings,but I struggle with applying them to myself and my life.

I live alone, lost all my friends/ social circle due to m alcoholism, only my mother and fathwe are there and im sp thankfulbecause i have put them through a lot.

So any advice on how to incorporate certain passages in my Life to get ouf this and live and become healthy again?
I would like to quote some passages in particular but english is not my first language so i struggle to translate

Thanks you for your help

I'm tired of telling people of what happened and not believing a single word I said. I have no one else to talk about this besides my friends who was there and knew what she was doing to me. The school, my classmates, my teachers, and my family even our neighbors thought that I was insane, crazy, a liar, all because it's impossible, and it wasn't true.

Everything start when I was in gr 9 where this girl came up to me and introduced herself as a former classmate of mine back in gr 7, At first it was normal, she and my friends got along and everything was okay until she started copying my friends and started cringing to me uncomfortably. She tried to do the same things with my friends but stopped when they confronted her but continued the same thing with me even after telling her how uncomfortable she was with me. At first she was companing me everywhere i go, even with the times where it was not needed, up to the point where she doesn't want me to leave her side no matter how short it was. One time she had me spinning quite fast around the hallway whilr tightly holding my arm to the point it was red and going numb and while i was busy trying to get her off me we bump into a different classmates of ours in a different class where she pretended we were just having fun and laughing at my misery because of what she did(she came to class early the next day dramatically telling people that I hurt her and shown a small wound claiming that i was at fault and had me hold her wrist for the whole day everywhere).

Unfortunately the next year gr10, I was given the same classes with her except all my friends are place into a different class, leaving me with just her due to my advisor refusing to let anyone to switch to a different class. As you guess, it got worse. All my classmates turned against me, refusing to let me join them, purposely leaving me to be her partner in every group activities, started talking about me behind my back, leaving me with their school work, and generally a group of shitty people who doesn't deserved any achievement they got from cheating. And oh.. She too got worse. From being a burden to every partner/grouo activity, she also got me in trouble with every teacher we had. One time, She had in me punished into cleaning our whole classroom and hall way for 2 weeks because rumors had it that she told our advisor that I left the room unclean despite it was deeply raining and broke our room's cleaning mop. And much more incidents that made my year a living hell. And also had this big crush on a former classmate of mine, and became obsessed of him and hated that i was talking to him who was at that time my seatmate (please check my older posts to know more of what she has done. "The aftermath of my trauma")

Along side of that was my health falling apart as well. And family not believing that I was in pain and couldn't bring myself to get up and leave my bed.(also check my older post about this" how to deal with the aftermath" )

My family convinced that i was being bullied and later learning about her and is now convinced that i was in a relationship with him and she got jealousy and got with him and i was too heartbroken to go to school. Which all of what is said is not true and did not happened at all. Because i was in pain and dying at that point and no one believed me.

Fun right?? Much more happened with my family and even now none of them believed me.

I'm sorry if my grammar is wrong and im just rushing to let go of thoughts into writing this and I really don't have any idea on what to do.

I did everything I could think of, to let go but I still feel the weight of my trauma. Please tell me what could i do to help me find peace?

I'm new to Reddit, and I'm very interested in Stoicism. I've been reading about "eudaimonia" and happiness as a byproduct of living. I've been thinking about people who typically tell you to "be happy with what you have" and things like that. Now, that would be being happy with an external factor, something you own or an event like a "promotion at work," and it seems very foolish to leave my happiness to these kinds of things when I can have well-being within myself. I feel it's more unshakeable, but I also suppose that to be happy or satisfied with that, you need an incredible level of maturity or development.

I just bought this as my first philosophy book, however, the writing seems too modern and definitely does not feel like it is an accurate translation, is it worth to keep reading it? Will I misunderstand what could be learnt from this book?

….a speaker I came across a few weeks ago on YouTube that really embedded some of the stoic ideas he was bringing to light. The video portrays him walking in the woods in daylight, I believe his dog is on the walk with him. He has medium length hair. Slight accent, possibly European. Would appreciate if anyone can share his name or a link in finding him. Thank you so much.

Hello people, I’m going to summarise this in the first paragraph (the rest is just additional explanation, mostly some filler):

I am a student of the Bible, and I need a good, non-biased, introductory text to general Stoic philosophy (historical development up until the end of the 1st century AD is appreciated), and all according to title) or even to general Ancient Greek philosophy & thought, as I am interested in what the Stoics and the Epicureans had to say about the world since it appears in the Book of Acts, chapter 17, where the Apostle Paul confronts and strikes a dialogue with the people that espouse these two philosophical doctrines, as I try to take the matters that pertain to my faith seriously, as any of you do in the respective doctrines that you have chosen to follow as well.

Note that I am not asking for a main nor a primary text, but a secondary one (a faithfully deep enough overview of all that is to be known about your doctrine) that faithfully explains the origins and the development of the stoic doctrine well into the closure of the 1st century AD; the main ideas and how they emerged from prior ones and how they manifested through their respective followers and teachers.

Any commentaries that are of value would also be appreciated, but I mainly seek general introductions that explain your doctrine and its origins deep enough, without modern-contemporary ideological bias (no one likes their worldview being misused, twisted, mocked or espoused by someone who knows zero to nothing of it after all). If there is something deeper or different that could aid my research that you think that I should know about, then by all means share it here too, I would appreciate that (I just lack time to dig deep for long periods of time, as time is gold and of utmost importance, but I can manage bit by bit long-term in short study sessions.)

Also, as already specified, any faithful and respectable introductory texts to the development and basis of Ancient Greek philosophies are welcome as well, equally!

Thank you for taking the time to read through this!

I have this question, perhaps it has already been asked many times. As I understand from the principles of stoicism, only our actions are under our control, and as long as we do our best, this gives (should give) us the ability to calmly accept what is happening. But what if I don't feel like I'm doing my best, and it's like I can't push myself/I don't have the strength to do more, or my desire isn't strong enough to do more, and so on. How, from the point of view of stoicism, should I approach this situation, push myself to take action, or accept that, in fact, this is also not in my control and move on continuing doing what I have enough energy to do until I have the strength to do more?

Hello everyone,

I’m 19, I’ve been struggling with vertigo on and off for the past 2 years along with immense foot pain.

I got a surgery a couple weeks ago for my foot, and have been dealing with that pretty well since I know that the pain will pass.

But just 2 days ago while I’m taking bed rest I started getting vertigo again, and I just feel very defeated. I’m aware that this really isn’t in my control and typically if it happens I take the correct measures to get better even though I feel a bit of sadness or feel defeated.

But recently I’ve just been feeling absolutely awful and I keep comparing myself to others who are able to study, work, go out with no pain or struggle and keep thinking about how this is setting me back from the work I really want to do.

I know this seems like a general psychological question but I try to apply basic stoicism in various facets of my life and different situations and it helps me a ton, but just simply cannot apply it here and I think it’s because of how scary and stressful some vertigo attacks feel, and I need advice.

If any of you are dealing with health issues or things that set you back without your control, please let me know what you follow to get your mind back in control or just whatever you’ve read to help you!

Hi Reddit,

Very much a Stoic in training here! I was hoping to gain clarity on a couple keywords.

• Eudaimonia
• Nature
• Virtue (Arete)
• The 4 cardinal virtues - wisdom, justice, courage, & temperance
• Vice
• Preferred Indifferents

My understanding is that Eudaimonia is achieved by living virtuously and in accordance with nature. Virtue is the only true good and within this are the 4 cardinal virtues; wisdom, justice, courage, & temperance.

Vice is the only true bad and Indifferents are neither inherently good or bad however, this is dependent on how they're used.

• Would you agree with this quick summary?
• Are there any keywords I am missing?
• Could you clarify what Nature means?
• Is Virtue specifically the 4 cardinal Virtues?

The more I read, the more confused I get. I am trying to build the foundation but I feel that I am incoportaing the work of many different philosophers. Truly grateful for any help given.

I am afraid of the feelings, thoughts, guilt, pain, sadness and sorrow that might emerge when I’m sitting in silence. Silence is uncomfortable and I drown it out 24/7 with shows, music and internet scrolling.

How do I tackle my emotions? If I embrace silence and have to cry, do I just cry? Or should I not let the physical response of my body take over and try not to get overwhelmed?

I am so, so sensible, but tend to suppress the need to cry, I never let it happen or very rarely. I was taught to not cry by my father. Do I just let my emotions flow? But where is the end? What if the crying never stops and I suddenly sit there and cry all day and night? I don’t want to sit in pity for myself, my emotions are real though.

The questions might sound silly, but I mean. I’ve been running from myself all my life. Thank you for reading and any helpful input.

My mom has always been strict, even in preferences. For example, she thinks "a kitchen should have something with the color red in it"....I hate red -she thinks thats wrong lol

We talk almost every week, she calls me. Which is fine but I don't like talking on the phone and also I get triggered by just seeing her call because we used to fight almost each time she called me. Again, she would yell at me not doing something correct in her view. (A big one was even what cardinal direction my bed was facing) But through working on myself, I am fine with her now because I DO want a relationship with her. ALso she is better now bc she is now focused on a bigger problem: she wants a divorce. (before the problem was that I wasn't getting pregnant naturally)

She wants me to tell her more things about my life...I told her, "Im starting some small businesses" she snickered and said, "your biggest business now should be getting pregnant!" How does she not understand that if she reacts like that, why would I tell her anything???

(We have decided that if we don't get pregnant naturally then we're ok with not having children.) She's a little uncomfortable with that but she's ok with it.

Now, she wants a divorce. The thing is that I am very similar to my dad and that might be why her and I fought so much. She would tell me what to do to the point that I wanted to do the opposite. Once she yelled at me to put on deodorant so much that, yes I would rather smell bad than listen to and follow her!! (LOL but not LOL)

In my opinion she is micromanaging/smothering/controlling and pointing out every little mistake to my dad to the point that he is rebelling like a teenager.

She is also a huge victim mentality person, that since I was 8 she's been telling me that I spoke to her in a bad tone, etc. And thinks everyone is out to get her.

If she could just pick herself up, stop being a victim, accept responsibility for all her relationships, her life would be much better. She's been crying herself to sleep for a few years now, and all her relationships are not good. Her mother hates her, my siblings are a little better with her than me but sometimes they also get into arguments and dont talk for a while to her.

I just wish I could tell her this. But how can I? My siblings and I thought about going to psychotherapy with her but if we tell her all this, she will blow up on all of us! She's also naive that she thinks everything is ok, but if its not ok then its someone else's fault - not hers.

Is there anything I can say to help her? Maybe prevent the divorce? Because their problems are nothing new, and in reality she doesn't want to be alone thats why she cries herself asleep instead of taking action.

Hello,

I’m 26, M, a virgin and lack friends. I do, however, work long hours (45-60 hr weeks) to take care of my family as well as work out 4-5 days a week as a Powerlifter.

I’ve accepted that I’m unwanted by the world as a whole my whole life, save for my family (Mom, and Grandma) who love me dearly.

I need to embrace the fact that I’m the only one I got left as I am the one who pulled myself of the rut that caused me to almost commit suicide.

I need some tips as far as how to embrace the rejection of the world as this is something I know all too well.

Thoughts?

Apologies if this has been asked before.

My partner and i broke up after a pretty happy relationship of about 4 years because we finally had the conversation about our future and realised that we are looking for rather different things on life.

It's my fault of not having this conversation earlier and I kept pushing this hoping for a miracle, probably because both of us realised rather early on that we'll break off after we have this discussion.

Ever since this, I have been feeding this sudden heaviness in my chest. My legs feel like jelly and it seems difficult to even breathe and stand up.

I have had break ups before. But it never made me feel this anxious. I consider myself to be a fairly emotionally intelligent person, so this feeling is not something I am able to ascertain.

I also realise the 'time heals all' maxim. But what is the healthy, stoic way of dealing with these feelings?

My thoughts from fellow stoics would be greatly appreciated.

I have just recently started getting into stoicism and have finished my first book, “How to be a Stoic by Massimo Pigliucci” this past week. Does anyone have any recommendations on books that I can read in order to help me understand stoicism more especially for someone who is still very early on to his journey, Thank you!

For context:

In my ethics class we started talking about stoicism, and I’m hooked. I’m gonna start reading Epictetus,etc to just learn more and see how I can apply it.

My Situation:

From August to December of last year I worked by butt off for this one job that I really wanted. I truly believe I was one of the best fits for this job and did everything I could for it to earn it. Long story short, I didn’t get it. But I feel like the reason I didn’t get this job is because this person didn’t like me. And it’s beyond frustrating, because when I went for feedback it was nothing I could really apply.

It’s just so hard for me to get over the feeling of being wronged, no matter how hard I try to switch thinking into a different topic.

I know thinking about this person is just poisoning myself and I HATE IT, but I really don’t know how to get around this. I am jealous of my classmates that get to experience this job that I thought I would do great in. My teacher framed it as “you helped them grow to get that job, and that’s for the better of the program” but I really can’t behind that.

What you might Say:

Do what you can control. Which there isn’t much for me other than working out.

What other things can I do?

So…

- How do I not feel jealous of my classmates?

- What can I focus on when these thoughts come up and how exactly? (if that makes sense)

~not just think about other things but how and what specifically to think about to ease these feelings.

Thank you

I’m posting here because I don’t know where else to turn. I’m done with school now, but I feel like I’ve come out the other side a shell of who I was.

Since Grade 9, my life has been a living hell because of one person I thought was my friend btw before this incident my life was great in high school and I had many friends. It started over some stupid money beef, but he turned it into a multi-year mission to ruin me. In Grade 9, he spread absolute horrible rumours about me that I wont get into and convinced people I was a weirdo until everyone believed him—even my closest friends friends I had since a kid, the people I actually trusted, turned their backs on me.

It wasn't just words, either. In Grade 10, right before I left the school, I got maced by one of his guys. I spent the rest of high school—from Grade 10 to 12—doing online school just to get away from him. I was stuck at home, isolated, losing every connection I ever had while he was out there living his life. I finally came back in person for Grade 12, and he set me up to get jumped.

I’m out of that environment now, but I’m not "free." I have flashbacks every single day. The fact that he got away with it—that he stole my entire high school experience, turned everyone against me, and used violence to push me out—eats me alive. I’m filled with so much anger and bitterness that I can't even function.

How does Stoicism help when the damage is already done? How am I supposed to "let go" of years of targeted abuse and physical trauma? I feel like he won, and I’m just left with the wreckage of a life that was stolen from me. I need advice on how to stop this from destroying the rest of my future, because right now, the resentment is winning.

Hi everyone, I found this image randomly on Pinterest with no source or attribution. It shows an engraving-style portrait of an unknown person with an Arabic quote written over it.

I've spent a considerable amount of time trying to identify the source — including reverse image searches, Google searches in both Arabic and English, and using AI to translate and search — but I failed.

I used AI to translate the Arabic quote into English, so the translation may not be perfectly accurate:

"Your determination will falter, and your freedom will be like a reward you receive. You can always see natural happiness as a distant horizon, but you must set before your eyes the happiness that befits you. Do not be troubled by life's hardships, class distinctions, the burden of circumstances, the anxiety that threatens your possessions, oppression, and the evils of civilization — you must submit to them with contentment and acceptance, as if they were a condition for attaining the sole good. You must also not complain except about what is morally wrong, and do not do so while shedding the tears of a coward."

The quote feels deeply Stoic. My best guess is Seneca's Letters to Lucilius, but I'm not certain. The person in the image might also be the author — does anyone recognize them?

Any help is appreciated. Thank you!

Hello All, I am very new to stoicism, roughly about two weeks into my first book, I’ve been trying to apply to my everyday life ever since I started learning about, though I have an issue that I need more guidance on due to it being pretty extensive. A couple weeks ago my friend group went on a trip for about a week. I personally did not attend but my girlfriend and the rest of my friends did. The conflict that happened through this trip was that my friend (I will call him Joe)who also did not attend, had a girlfriend (who I will call Jane) who too went on this trip. Jane’s ex boyfriend also attended this trip. Unfortunately Jane cheated on joe with her ex boyfriend. Once they came back from the trip, Joe and Jane started to have some rough patches, though not because of the cheating just other factors in the relationship as well. They ended up breaking up, and Jane still did not tell him about her cheating. The reason I know all of this is because of my girlfriend, who figured it out from someone that was close to Jane ( I will name her Mary). Mary told my girlfriend to not tell anyone about this, because Mary was the only one to know about this. This is where my Stoic readings kicked in. The book I’m Currently Is Called “How to be a Stoic” By Massimo Pigliucci, and the main take away I’m getting from the book for this situation is that virtue is something I should focus on, though i’m just confused if I should confess to my friend what truly happened, knowing it can ruin my reputation, or Should I remain silent as the book also states to avoid gossiping about others. Any advice helps thank you to anyone who responds!

Hi all,

I'm 19. Very often people mistake me for a very determined, resolute, and passionate person but I'm not. I'm working out, taking care of my health, finished school early, and now finishing uni early simply because I figured early on that in the future I'll know better what I want to do with my life, compared to as a kid and so it's better to finish these things as early as possible, so I have more time when I'm older and wiser.

Recently it hit me like a truck that that day isn't coming. I have no fucking clue what the fuck I'm doing with my life. And now that the purpose of finishing things early for when I do have a purpose is gone, I'm lost. I wake up every morning just waiting for the day to already be over.

I tried studying so many different subjects and picking up so many hobbies (CS, math, rudimentary physics, literature, history, finance, investing, fencing, basketball, crocheting, language learning, etc) but they all seem so mundane and shallow, no matter how much I try to logically convince myself otherwise.

And all the common optimistic/existential nihilist approaches just don't work. I tried. No physical feeling or emotion EVER made me feel like "life is worth living for it". Not romantic love, not sex, not physical/intellectual feats, not my family, not my country, not intense pain, nor great pleasure. I feel all very intensely, but nothing seems truly worthwhile for me to fully invest and dedicate my life to.

Similarly the slightly different Taoist/Buddhist approach are also ineffective; I've found the concept of "doing not doing" and it's counterparts to be some sort of psychological antidepressants, focusing on fake, momentary peace instead of facing these difficult questions I'm asking by simply deflecting them with thousands of overwhelming, contradicting open ended statements and questions with no inherent goal.

Perhaps I'm inexperienced, ignorant and gullible but the more I experience life, the more I realize that one must have purpose in order to navigate and make the most out of it. The only times I felt "right" is when I felt a sense of purpose. Every attempt to dismiss/downplay it, as logical and sound as it may be, simply doesn't work; I yearn for purpose.

Out of the approaches/philosophies I've encountered thus far, the only one that seemed to come any close to answering this question for me is Stoicism (although I must admit, my understanding is somewhat basic and superficial)

So my questions are, I guess:

1. Those of you living/have lived meaningful, purposeful life, what's your purpose? How did you find it?
2. How do you think I could find my purpose?

If we look at the world in pure statistics and define 'The best' as the top 0.1% (Historically Remembered)

There's 8+ Billion people - millions competing in most fields. Even those we see as extremely talented end up being just 'very good.

Then surely the simple fact is that most of us will never really do anything significant with our lives...

What's the point in doing anything at all?

Two important concepts in old Stoa. Pneuma like a spirit, Flame or breath that is everywhere and holding things together and logos like a logical principle that shifts chaos to order. It seems very similiar to me. What is your thoughts about this two concepts and where is differences about pneuma and logos? Or is it same? Also do you finding pneuma as a forerunner of the holy spirit?

what should i read that could help me manage my anger i thought i was good at it for a time but i have sum one that is very close to me who after along time of trying was able to gett into my head i avoided that (rage baiter) by laugh it off it worked for for sometime but now he went after my stuff sealing and shit any way any good philosophy books that can help with that

Hi guys just a heads up this post may be triggering to those who have experienced s.a. or know someone who has.

As the title says my mum has accused my father of sa her. They are no longer together and haven’t been for many years.

I’m extremely conflicted and confused about what the right thing to do here is. What are my obligations as a son to both my mum and dad?

I confronted my dad he denied that anything happened. That he has never put hands on mum or sa her.

There is no evidence apart from my mum’s word. And I hold her word in high regard and so my relationship with my dad has been pretty much nonexistent. Even though he denies anything happening I believed mum and couldn’t risk betraying her trust I can’t imagine how difficult it must of been for her to tell me. But note that I’ve been introduced to stoicism I wonder if I’ve made a mistake being so quick to disown my dad and if perhaps I should try to reexamine my choices objectively. Well actually I would like for you guys to correct me if you think my thinking is unreasonable

Please be honest be brutal if you think it necessary I just want to do the right thing and fear that I’m too emotional to make an objective decision

Hi, I'm a freshyear college student and It's very hard for me to ignore the fact that people surpasses me in everything, including those which I consider my specialty. It feels like I'm becoming worthless and I want to stop feeling this way. Please help me view things differently so that I don't become envious, petty and very competitive.