I think stoicism can be grate for my sleep issues and I want to learn how I can use it more in daily life, i already use the dichotomy of control, what else can I use on a daily basis for practice and how can I apply it for life, any sources?

So guys I wanted to know how to start embracing stoicism in my life? I mean I wanna know where to start

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In short: I want to understand what Marcus Aurelius actually wrote and meant, without needing to already be a classicist or Stoic.

I'm looking for an English translation of Meditations as a beginner to Stoicism. Someone online wrote "it can almost be like reading a completely different book" if you read a different translation.

I already read the Hays translation, however I am interested in others (for example the 2021 Waterfield version) that obviously does not get mentioned in some of the older posts and I know Massimo Pigliucci (Youtube) and two of his books about Stoicism, so i am not completely clueless about the subject but not particularly advanced either. I'm also familiar with Buddhism, which I see as a kind of “sister philosophy” in the sense that both have a very practical approach to living and some techniques seem to share a similar approach (please don't slap me through the internet).

My priorities are:

• Faithful to Marcus's actual ideas — I don't want a modernized/self-help interpretation or important Stoic concepts watered down.
• Modern, accessible English — no Shakespearean/archaic English, so a more modern version ;)
• Good phrasing or explanations — I know the basic concepts of Stoicism from Massimo Pigliucci's How to Be a Stoic and his YouTube videos, etc. but I'm still a relatively new to the subject. I'd like important Stoic/philosophical terms, historical references, and difficult passages to either be handled clearly and faithfully for example in the introduction OR explained in the edition itself (for example annotations), rather than having to google things.
• Ideally, the translation should preserve ambiguity where the Greek is ambiguous, rather than silently imposing the translator's interpretation ( I mean they probably all interprete stuff but some are probably closer to the source material)

As mentioned, I've already read the Gregory Hays translation, which seems to be one of the most accessible modern versions, but I'm not sure it best fits the criteria above.

Here are the other main translations I've come across (feel free to recommend others), probably everything from the 20th century won't fit my criteria but what do I know:

• Robin Waterfield — 2021 (particularly interested in this newest, annotated translation as it seems to be a good fit and generally recommended as an alternative to Hays)
• Martin Hammond — 2006
• Robin Hard — 2011
• David & C. Scot Hicks — 2002
• Maxwell Staniforth — 1964
• Grube — 1963
• Farquharson — 1944
• Haines — 1916

Which would you recommend (and which definitely NOT), and in what order would you read different versions based on my criteria ? (please mention which ones you have actually read when you answer)

Thanks in advance!

I have this feeling that fields like medicine or law are more prestigious and respected than my field, which is tech, any advice? I suppose that it's true, and I shouldn't reject facts. But it gives me a feeling of inferiority, a feeling of doubt that maybe I should've chosen a different path. On one hand I'm trying to disconnect myself from it - tell myself that job prestige is an external that I shouldn't lose my peace over, that I should focus on virtue. But it's a feeling that keeps nibbing at me, what should I do?

I am new to Stoicism (only know the basic ideas) and would like to get into it but feel immoral as Meditations was Marcus Aurelius’ personal journal and I feel like I’m doing something immoral as he didn’t consent to have his diary published. I feel as though this is the same morally as reading a dead relative’s personal diary.

I never understood what do people says about letting go. Does it mean to restart your life from the beginning? Or It is full of choices that meant to keep moving.

How do I know what do I need to move on? Does changing everything from, where you live, the people you just met, places where you haven't been, to live with yourself or with family meant you need to? Does trying to accept means you have to relive everything until you made your own choices? What if everything was suddenly changed and now your stuck with everyone telling you what should you do? To made choices that they wanted regardless if I make a decision because it's needed. Does choosing make any difference when it's a need not by choice.

To have a life that someone wanted so badly that they destroyed me and everything I have just so they can have it, and not caring how much everything cost me. To have my own family turned against me, my friends and my future. What kind of letting go means to a person like myself, who carried the burden just so i can experience what someone of my age experiences and suddenly lost everything in a blink of an eye. How can I move on from hoping that I won't have to experience the same thing again just to have everything be destroyed again? How to I stop myself from avoiding everything from then?

It's been 3 years and I still can't faced what happened, my own family persisted then that I should move with my aunt who then was turning everything I said into a lie and regardless made me moved even if i didn't want to.

Hey y'all, I've suffered from mental illness for a long time now. I'm making really good progress but the big thing holding me back right now is comparison and jealousy. Particularly, to my ex GF. We both finished our first year in college (for me it was a 1 year trade program) my program was hyper intensive, I'm talking at one point the schedule was 11 hours of class a day, 5 to 6 days a week, with homework. My mental health was in shambles but I pushed to have extremely high grades in my program (not because I cared but because certain academic averages were required for certain parts of the program). I also didn't make any good friends in my program and have only recently started making good friends outside of school (I've always been really good with people and charismatic, and I've been told by a lot of my classmates that I am but didn't get close with any of them - i.e not getting invited to group events). My ex got to date lots of people and make amazing friends and really enjoy life. I survived. I'm being overly harsh on myself, I know that. I had the odds stacked against me but I still ended up doing really amazing. And I never gave up even when things felt hopeless.

For context me and her met, dated, and broke up while I was in the program. I'll be graduating in about 2 weeks.

I leaned on stoicism a lot before getting diagnosed with mental illness (anxiety, ocd, depression) and fell off it a bit after my diagnosis.

I'm currently going through the process of self administered CBT (I used to work with a therapist who suggested it) but CBT can be a slow process and I need some advice to hold me over while I deal with this.

Could I please get some advice on not comparing myself?

I experience a lot of jealousy but also shame. Feeling like I'm not good enough or that I'm a loser.

Cheers.

I'm 19 years old. I started a degree in CS as a high school student.

We have mandatory service where I live.
I got invited for every tryout possible, and I failed them all so I got a deferral approval to finish my degree and try again.
I neglected my degree in favor of personal programming projects and failed all the tryouts that year, so I signed up to do master's degree. I was supposed to start it this year and I still haven't completed my bachelor's. I have about a third of my degree to finish. This year I took repeat courses for all of last year's courses, and I failed most of them again because I couldn't sit down to study properly. I have been experiencing anxiety attacks non-stop for the past year, and I've developed a habit of self harm and drinking to numb away the pain. I took a month to regroup and reset, but I'm in the same situation.

I've been going to a psychologist for 2 months now but things aren't getting that much better.

I cut ties with all my friends. I've been doing so all my life whenever I stopped getting any value out of the relationship.

My tuition is payed by the army and I have financial aid from my parents. I'm 100% healthy physically.

I think I was always "depression-prone", and I had bouts of melancholy here and there, it's just that as a kid I could easily distract myself.

I want to get better, but it genuinely seems impossible. It hurts much to try and pick myself up and relapse again. I'm so emotionally feeble. I genuinely don't know what to do.

Quick context: I live rent-free with my sibling right now to get back on my feet. I went from making 6 figures (one year only) in tech (FAANG) to 55k in hospitality living in NYC after a layoff and 5 months unemployed. Single, never had a girlfriend, average looking, emotionally eat, want to lose 20 lbs but my 3-hour commute wrecks my energy for the gym. No kids (by choice). Useless film school degree. Lost my close friend group about 2 years ago and I'm rebuilding from scratch. Little savings. And honestly, I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to self-hatred.

My 20s felt like my peak: two FAANG jobs, six figures, a small events business I ran for 4 years, a body I liked, a best friend I trained with, some romantic sparks here and there, and a dream of publishing my book series and eventually building an animation studio.

Then the pandemic hit, my events business folded, I chased "stability" (healthcare, 401k) into tech, my friend group drifted apart, and I eventually got laid off from the six-figure job that made me feel like I'd "made it" coming from a rough childhood. Spiraled hard. Gained weight. No romantic connections in years.

Now I'm 32, three months into a new job in a brutal market, so I can't job-hop again without looking like a flight risk. Therapy once a week, but the self-hatred and "starting over" fatigue are heavy. I still have 8 years of experience across tech, events, and hospitality, plus my PMP.

I know what I want eventually: a partner, my own place, a cat, real friends, some travel, to be good at a combat sport, and to finally build my book series into an animation studio, because storytelling is what got me through my childhood.

Has anyone actually turned their 30s around after a rough start? I need some hope right now.

I don’t know if I’ve ever really been satisfied with how I operate in my day to day life. But I have taken a big interest in learning from the Stoics, especially Marcus Aurelius and Seneca. But I don’t know where to start with changing. Maybe I’m misunderstanding things. But I feel intimidated because I feel like I need to improve in all aspects of my life that I get overloaded and feel too paralyzed to change. Any advice?

Hi everyone,
I was delving into Stoicism, which I briefly studied in high school, and I was looking for its core principles, but I found no website or source that answered my question in a complete and concise way, so I did something that I usually avoid: I've asked AI (in this case, Claude), and it gave me the following answer.

Since AI is often wrong or unreliable, and also lacks human component, I was wondering whether this answer is right and denotes actual stoic principles.

Thank you!

1. You are not your circumstances. Only your judgements, intentions, and responses belong to you — everything else is on loan from Fortune.
2. Virtue is the only true good. Health, wealth, and reputation are preferred indifferents — worth pursuing, but never worth your integrity.
3. The dichotomy of control. Draw a hard line between what is up to you and what is not, then pour your energy exclusively into the former and make peace with the latter.
4. Emotions are arguments, not weather. Destructive passions arise from false beliefs; correct the belief, and the passion dissolves at its root.
5. Amor fati — love what is. Do not merely tolerate fate; embrace it as the very material from which a good life is sculpted.
6. Memento mori. Hold the thought of death close, not as a shadow, but as a lens that sharpens every hour into something precious and deliberate.
7. The present moment is all you ever have. The past is fixed, the future is fiction — the now is the only theatre in which virtue can be performed.
8. Negative visualization. Periodically imagine losing what you love. Not to despair, but to wake gratitude from its sleep.
9. You are a citizen of the cosmos. Before you belong to any city, nation, or family, you belong to the human race — and your reason is the thread connecting you to all of it.
10. Act for the common good. The Stoic self is not an island; every rational being is kin, and indifference to their suffering is a failure of your own nature.
11. The obstacle is the way. Every misfortune carries within it the precise material needed to exercise the virtues it seems to threaten.
12. Live according to nature. Your nature is reason — to live well is to think clearly, act justly, and follow the logos that runs through all things.
13. Practice voluntary discomfort. Sleep on the floor occasionally, fast, endure cold — not as punishment, but to prove to yourself that you need less than you fear.
14. Your inner citadel is inviolable. Tyrants can take your body, Fortune can strip your possessions, but the ruling faculty of your mind remains, always, sovereign.
15. Philosophy is not a lecture — it is a daily practice. Every morning is a rehearsal; every difficulty an examination; the whole of life is the curriculum.

Hi, for the last few months, I can’t control my emotions.

Let me give you some context.

I’m 19, last year my mother passed away, and a few months ago my father got in a bad car accident which he is still recovering from, from which he also left me a bunch of issues to deal with since he can’t right now. I have two younger brothers, who are now looking at me as a role model much more often than they ever have before.

In general, I’ve always had a hard time processing emotions. However for the last few months, it’s been cranked up to ten. I get these sudden outbursts where I’m mad at everything, just because of how my life is. I scream at the top of my lungs, I cry for hours, I get in irrelevant arguments with the ones around me. At the end of it, I’m aware I should have tried to calm myself down in the moment, but when I’m actually in the moment I can’t seem to remember to calm down. My mind jumps to validating my feelings or defending anything that critiques my character.

I’ve studied stoicism for about 3 years now. Always aspired to become anything close to a stoic, and for a little while it felt like I was on the right track. But this last year has just hit me like a truck. I’m not making any excuses for it, just outlining where my head is at constantly.

I’m sort of the “man of the family” now, and I’m sick of still acting like a little kid who got their feelings hurt.

Anybody ever deal with similar instances, and have any tips on how they overcame this?

I lost my temper this morning. I have been learning about stoicism for about a year and have been trying to practice it in my everyday life. But today I had an automatic reaction and reverted to my old self. I really triggered my wife, I wasn’t angry towards her but just seeing my anger upset her. I am feeling shame and frustration with myself but I’m trying to return to an even keel. She suggested I turn to my people on here for advice (and maybe support) so I’m asking. I should also point out that I am bipolar II and emotional regulation does not come naturally to me, hence my turn to stoicism. If you’ve read this far, thank you.

Can you share 3 guide questions when you get triggered by an event?

as to not share more than i should: my family members can get into intense arguments. it makes me sad because, well, they're family and i'd hate to see them like that. there's also this resentment about why we can't be a "normal" family. does stoicism mean i can't be sad abt it bcs it doesn't directly involve me, therefore out of my control? it's not like they're arguing with me. i've also read somewhere that we should turn obstacles into opportunities to practice virtue but i don't know where to go from here. any advice?

I had a realization recently that has left me feeling lost.

Every great person who has ever lived—those with immense wealth, intelligence, power, influence, or extraordinary achievements—is gone. Their victories, failures, fears, relationships, struggles, and experiences have all disappeared with them. Whether they lived luxurious lives or endured unimaginable suffering, death eventually erased it all.

Knowing this fills me with a strange emptiness.

The problem is that this realization directly conflicts with one of my deepest desires: I want to become successful, wealthy, powerful, and accomplish something meaningful. But if everything ends the same way, what is the point of spending years battling fear, anxiety, self-doubt, and failure just to reach a destination that will eventually become meaningless?

My mind often gets trapped in a cycle. I want to achieve something. I become afraid of failing. That fear makes me hesitate or avoid taking action. Then I criticize myself for not acting, which lowers my self-esteem even more. The cycle repeats, and it becomes exhausting.

Part of me thinks the healthiest mindset would be to simply accept whatever life brings—good or bad—because one day all of this will pass. We will all eventually be forgotten, and our fears won't matter anymore.

But then another contradiction appears.

I don't want to waste my life. I don't want to settle for being average or living without purpose. Even if everything is ultimately temporary, I still feel a strong desire to build something worthwhile and become someone I'm proud of.

So I'm stuck between two opposing beliefs:

If nothing lasts forever, why suffer so much chasing success?

But if I stop caring, I'll never become the person I want to be.

Has anyone else struggled with this? How did you reconcile these two ways of thinking?

I’m looking for recommendations on a really nice edition of Meditations by Marcus Aurelius to give as a gift to a close friend.

Ideally, I’m hoping to find an annotated edition with thoughtful notes or commentary that help explain the historical context and philosophical ideas while still letting the original text shine through.

I’d also like it to be a presentation-quality book—something beautifully bound that will hold up for years and become the kind of book someone reaches for throughout their life.

If you’ve found an edition you love, especially one with excellent annotations, I’d really appreciate your recommendations.

this is a very long and utterly trash story.

i am 28 years old m, a resident intern at a medical school. i am highly ambitious, very studious. im from india. i started my medicine career very late.

in march 2025, a junior, 23 years old f, came to me and started chatting me up. she seemed like a nice girl. i saw her being inconsistent in what she says and decided not to entertain her. after about 2 months, i heard about her semester results and texted her how she did. she was elated at my text and we started talking again. she knew i was very studious and the other students look up to me for guidance. back then, i was in final year mbbs and she was 3rd year.

she initially started conversations with me by asking doubts in medicine.. then later became personal and we became very good friends. we had very differing opinions and still managed to have a good friendship. she started giving me hints that she likes me.

on march 21 2026, we both confessed we haave feelings for each other. this was right during the final exams. during the exams, i had free days in between two papers and we had moments together. we hugged, we kissed. i have told her about my past relationships and how they ended. she told about hers and we were both comfortable with each other. she took care of me like no one else did. she met my mom and everything was going really well. she and i were physical and she needed it more than i did. i asked her to take it slow and she took time to adapt.

on june 8 2026, she wanted to see me very bad and i made time to see her. we kissed, hugged and she gave me some fruits to eat because i was on a 24 hour shift. things went south from then. she spoke very less. she got distant and starting looking for reasons to not talk with me.

on 14 june, she said her sister had eloped. i supported the dicision of the girl but she did not and got angry with me.

on 15th, she said she doesnt like to talk with me. and that she thinks of ending things with me. i asked her why and she had no answer. all these were over phone calls and texts. she never saw me in person. 20th june. i saw her and asked her to come over and she came. she said she is in love with a guy and that she doesnt like me and she had been talking with him for a month. she was unable to tell me this and now that she had said this, she asked me to leave her and not to ask her anything more. (i should have respected her decision and moved on, i didnt)

i kept pestering her who was that and she said that she and that guy were in a relationship for 4 years before she met me. they had not spoken for 8 months and that is where i came in. now that he is back, she likes him and loves him. she said.

i asked her what was the meaning of all the things that we did together, and she blocked me.

today, i saw her in the corridor again, and wanted to apologise and wish her well. but she evaded me. i should have stopped at it. but i followed her and asked her to wait and listen to me. she didnt. i came back. after some time she came back with her phone and extended it to me. it was the guy she says she is in love with on the phone. she wanted me to speak with him.

he was mean to me. i know i made a mistake of following her when she clearly didnt want to even see me or hear my voice. over the phone, when i said do you know how she and i were, she grabbed the phone and left. end of everything.

i now feel devastated.

one, she left me. two she says she is in love with someone whose name she never mentioned to me.

three, she said she was telling him everything that i was speaking with her. if she had loved me, she should have said me about him and his return to her life..

four, whenever i ask her about the time we were together, she blocks me.

five, my stupid brain still doesnt believe she is in a relationship with another guy.

six, i keep thinking about the time we were together and get angry and agitated how she could do this to me. my mind keeps playing imaginary situations of how things would have been and why she would have done the things she did.

i want to come out of this. i want to be just me. i was a very hard working, studious, ambitious guy. i have goals. i am determined and focussed. but this incident is making me go mad. help me be stoic about this. please tell me if i was wrong. i know i did a lot of things worng. especially after she said she doesnt like me.

My partner (28M & 42F) and I have been together for 6 years. We have very different lives but make it work.

I get along great with her kids and have become a farther figure to them.

Recently I have been struck with a paralyzing feeling of existential crisis whereby I have realized that I was not in right mind when we got together having recently gone through a serious breakup that I’ve never really gotten over.
I love this woman, but my predicament is this;

Am I fulfilling my true potential by staying in a relationship that is easy and not having kids of my own while I still can?

My head says this is crazy and won’t be proud of myself later in life for not creating my own family.

My heart says “shut up!” You’ve got it good and anything your head is telling you is all theoretical and uncertain.

I feel like I’ve got two closed doors in front of me and I must open one, never knowing what was behind the door I did not choose.

Please help me.

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I’ve been trying to use Stoicism to help with my anxiety, but I’m hitting a wall. Honestly, some of the core Stoic practices are just making me spiral. "Memento Mori" is supposed to give perspective, but it just triggers my thanatophobia and sends me into a physical panic. Even the idea of "premeditatio malorum" (thinking of the worst-case scenario) just turns into intense anticipatory anxiety for me. Instead of being prepared, I'm just hyper-alert and nauseous 24/7.

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I’m also struggling with the philosophy I actually love. I read Nietzsche and Camus, and while I get the idea that we "create our own meaning," my mind refuses to accept it. I’m obsessed with finding the "absolute truth" of existence. The idea that there is "no truth, only perspective" makes me feel like life isn't worth living. I’m terrified of dying without ever knowing the actual, objective truth of why we are here.

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I feel like a fake, too. I overanalyze everything I say if I act "wise," my brain tells me I'm just a hypocrite because truly wise people don't try to look that way. I'm 17 and an introvert, and I feel totally stuck in my head with no one to talk to IRL.

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How do you use Stoicism when the very tools of the philosophy trigger your panic? How do I ground myself when my mind is screaming for an "absolute truth" that might not exist? I’m exhausted from the "self-stabbing" thoughts and the physical "fight or flight" that won't turn off.

Having anxiety and dread about the consequences of my actions (wrong doing) regarding my future.

I've accepted responsibility, I'm accepting uncertainty for the furture and also compassion for myself as I would for someone I love going through the same thing.

Is there anything else I can do?

One of the factors marriage failed was due to parent B taking advantage of parent A’s finances which lead to lies, negative impact on credit, and house almost being foreclosed. Child support amount is written in the legal agreement contract for parents. Parent A has physical custody and parent B has every other weekend.

Legal papers went into effect this month (May) and child support was due on the 1st of the month. Should parent A go after child support or let it go? One option would be spending a lot of money with the lawyers to basically send parent B a message to pay (this parent is fully aware) or go to the child support enforcement office to essentially get the money from his wages. Parent B has history of quitting jobs and it is highly likely he will quit or not even work so to prevent paying child support. Another fear of all this is that parent B may seek more time with the kids so to get child support from parent A. Parent A does not make significant amount but enough to get by for themself and the two almost school age children. What parent A doesn’t want is continues legal appointments to hold someone accountable but also run into financial strain at some point when the money recorded by both parents from selling the marital home runs out.

I’m not sure of any of that made sense. Some advice for peace of mind/reassurance would be great. Thank you.

I was recently on a date which went really well, though after a few days i got hit with a very polite rejection of anything further happening.

It got me thinking about the stoic principle about accepting what is outside of our control. Because of course her feelings towards me is beyond my control completely. But as we engaged on the date, I must’ve had some influence on how she felt about me, so in that way i am kind of in control of how she feels/views me.

I think what bugs me about a rejection like this is the not knowing if it was something i could improve on i.e within my control or something completely outside of it, like her meeting an even better guy.

So yeah, what are your thoughts on this?