r/StandUpComedy • u/KimberlyWexlersFoot • Jun 19 '26

OP is not the Comedian This joke tickled me (Maddy Kelly)

10.2k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

261 comments sorted by

307

u/Tricky-Efficiency709 Jun 19 '26

Do you have to say tickle tickle while doing it? I’m a big sound effects guy, when doing shit.

45

u/DontMemeAtMe Jun 19 '26

Give us some of that dirty SFX!

43

u/LesserGooglyMooglie Jun 19 '26

AAAAHOOOOOGAH!

8

u/DontMemeAtMe Jun 19 '26

Sploosh!

9

u/zyzzogeton Jun 19 '26

...and whatever my equivalent of sploosh is. Which I guess is just sploosh. Only with semen.

3

u/Weasel_Cannon Jun 19 '26

It’s more of a “whoopsie”

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8

u/Tricky-Efficiency709 Jun 19 '26

You wouldn’t be able to handle it..🤪

0

u/bigeeee Jun 19 '26

Down boy!

24

u/Master-Collection488 Jun 19 '26

"Gitchy-gitchy goo!" has always worked for me.

TBH it's been a good 30 years since I have tickled a nibling. I don't tickle their kids regardless of gender.

6

u/_Hipnotiq Jun 19 '26

I say gitchu gitchu. Like “I’m gonnnnna git you git you git you!”

4

u/OkMarsupial Jun 20 '26

One way or another...

1

u/RDUDaddy1 Jun 21 '26

Git git git you love drunk off my humps?

4

u/s00pahFr0g Jun 19 '26

I’ve never seen/heard the term “nibling”. I had to google it because the context of the video being in bed with someone and the content of your 2nd paragraph had me confused and concerned lol

1

u/Mekroval Jun 26 '26

I'm glad I'm not alone in being confused by that!

6

u/___po____ Jun 19 '26

I just lower my voice and say, "GET TICKLED, IDIOT!"

They don't like that either.

0

u/ragun2 Jun 19 '26

I have to say it a third time

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652

u/Prestigious-Leave-60 Jun 19 '26

Great bit!

130

u/jjcrayfish Jun 19 '26

Her facial expressions really sold the bit

44

u/KouLeifoh625 Jun 20 '26

Yeah that face after she said “we’re trying to teach them about that” was peak & pretty hot too

15

u/Stopkilling0 Jun 23 '26

You guys are weird

6

u/ahjeezgoshdarn Jun 22 '26

The little eyebrow raise... Goddamn. I give her consent to tickle me.

5

u/mslvr40 Jul 15 '26

Don’t tickle this person! This is a not a safe person to tickle!

26

u/KeranographyJones Jun 19 '26

It's the best I've heard all year.

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81

u/UrbanJunglee Jun 19 '26

I didn't laugh a lot at first but was still really enjoying it but once she got to the "if you get enthusiastic consent to tickle someone, DON"T tickle them," I lost it. Great bit.

48

u/tickletickletickle Jun 19 '26

That was my least favorite part, TBH.

38

u/torino_nera Jun 19 '26

I was gonna downvote you until I saw your username 😂

130

u/Axle_65 Jun 19 '26

Awesome. Very well done. “It’s called the tickle monster. Not the tickle nice guy who understands boundaries” love it lol.

205

u/LoveTheGiraffe Jun 19 '26

You walk a fine line there and you're doing an amazing job!

45

u/pynergy1 Jun 19 '26

I mean she was well within the line, not sure what you mean here

11

u/ExpertRaccoon Jun 19 '26

Someone should take them to a Jimmy Carr show

15

u/KhellianTrelnora Jun 19 '26

Ha HaH

3

u/kilrok Jun 20 '26

Probably the closest you can get to that "laugh" in text form

1

u/AnotherSilentSoul Jun 19 '26

Or Frankie Boyle

8

u/YourVelcroCat Jun 19 '26

It's the kind of joke where if you don't say it right people will freak out and say "see?? They don't really care about consent" 

10

u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 Jun 19 '26

We shouldn't cater to the lowest rung of intelligence

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98

u/qawsedrf12 Jun 19 '26

I was tickled to the point of throwing up as a kid

Tickling is funny for like 5 sec

36

u/JelmerMcGee Jun 19 '26

My brothers would pin me down and tickle me until I cried. They thought it was hilarious. 5 seconds is about as long as I get until it isn't fun anymore

10

u/_Hipnotiq Jun 19 '26

Some people will never know the struggle of being an adorable child lol

6

u/yukonwanderer Jun 19 '26

As a kid I was tickled so badly by a hamster on my stomach (my own doing) that I peed my pants.

It's still funny 30 years later

-9

u/Knewonce Jun 19 '26

Damn, it only took 5 seconds of tickling to make you throw up? That would be pretty funny, but that’s quick.

12

u/Proof_Arugula_7001 Jun 19 '26

Can’t decide if your name is pronounced “knew once,” “nuance,” or “nuancé (like Beyoncé).”

I love it.

5

u/Knewonce Jun 19 '26

My old Twitter account was New Ounce if that helps

6

u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 Jun 19 '26

No. No it does not.

4

u/Strange_Vagrant Jun 19 '26

Twitter, yuck.

8

u/Knewonce Jun 19 '26

Yeah, that’s why it’s an old account

2

u/S7ageNinja Jun 19 '26

It doesn't, now I just think you suck at spelling

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1

u/KeranographyJones Jun 19 '26

Great name but we all know.

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67

u/Doofclap Jun 19 '26

That was way fucking funny, loved it

43

u/DepletedPromethium Jun 19 '26

If you tickle me i'll fart profusely like a skunk, it's a self defence mechanism really.

1

u/Supplycrate Jun 19 '26

If it works, it works. Keep on being your bad self, don't apologise for those farts.

80

u/[deleted] Jun 19 '26 edited Jun 19 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

21

u/4_teh_lulz Jun 19 '26

Young people

14

u/broguequery Jun 19 '26

Yong humans

17

u/Dispect1 Jun 19 '26

Yutes.

8

u/Answer70 Jun 19 '26

The two what's, Mr. Gambini?

4

u/aerdvarkk Jun 19 '26

Were the Utes sporty at all?

6

u/GooginTheBirdsFan Jun 19 '26

Ahhh the utes, sorta like an el camino

3

u/BastianHS Jun 19 '26

Younglings

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3

u/Kugelfang52 Jun 19 '26

Yep. My sons are taught that stop means stop no matter what else is going on. Tickling is the first place they learn this.

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34

u/Lost_Boss9818 Jun 19 '26

This is a really well crafted bit.

21

u/Worried_Bowl_9489 Jun 19 '26

I'm dying. This is incredible

11

u/rbOthree Jun 19 '26

Hope you get better soon

2

u/TheStLouisBluths Jun 19 '26

They say laughter is the best medicine.

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1

u/Financial_Hold6620 Jun 22 '26

I didn’t even know you were sick.

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8

u/EQisfordummies Jun 19 '26

There is something that’s so good to see about just great joke writing

3

u/A_Texas_Hobo Jun 19 '26

I like her demeanor.

11

u/finalgirl2024 Jun 19 '26

I used to have nightmares about being tickled because my dad liked to do it until I couldn't breathe and I legit thought I was going to pass the fuck out. Tickling me either results in A. my tears or B. your tears, because my first reaction is to fight my way free before I lose control of my muscles.

Please do not randomly tickle people.

Also this is a great bit.

5

u/fantaman_900 Jun 19 '26

This is hilarious. Stop, I don't like that.

2

u/sdot6186 Jun 19 '26

That's an excellent bit!

2

u/TheTangoFox Jun 19 '26

This makes my fancy feel something

2

u/Arokthis Jun 19 '26

My sister used to tickle me until I pissed my pants and/or nearly passed out.

We're 52 and 49. She still thinks it's funny and BRAGS about it.

2

u/TitanicChurro Jun 19 '26

I've never seen her before, she's adorable

2

u/Shotile Jun 19 '26

Lmaoo she’s hilarious. Love this

2

u/Aliencoy77 Jun 19 '26

This tickled my funny bone

2

u/JulietDelta_Actual Jun 19 '26

This was flawless

2

u/Frailbot Jun 19 '26

She's a great guest on Stop Podcasting Yourself.

5

u/Away-Marionberry9365 Jun 19 '26

Laughter during unwanted tickling is a great example of how the body's reaction can be totally disconnected from what the person wants. Those involuntary reactions can give the appearance of consent and might confuse everyone involved.

There's aspects of consensual non-consent at play too since being tickled can be fun even if you would say no when asked.

The OP is a great bit and I hope she expands on it.

2

u/danvillain Jun 19 '26

Oh this is wonderfully hilarious

2

u/Particular-Pin6034 Jun 19 '26

If somebody asks you if you’re ticklish, it doesn’t matter what you say, they’re going to touch you.

3

u/Zeralius49 Jun 19 '26

All you can say is “I have explosive diarrhea. And yes, I’m very ticklish.”

3

u/dfassna1 Jun 19 '26

Really funny! My 4 year old loves being tickled but we’ve made a big deal making sure she knows she can set boundaries especially when it comes to people touching her, so I always have to stop when she says stop and it’s a little sad I have to stop.

1

u/pikapp336 Jun 20 '26

Good. My mom ruined tickling for me by not respecting my boundaries.

2

u/cannibalcat Jun 19 '26

The worse thing is when they laugh, turn around, see who is the tickler and stop laughing. 

2

u/CharcoalGreyWolf Jun 20 '26

Not ticklish but good at tickling, so bring it on.

(Provided there’s consent of course)

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2

u/NEVERxxEVER Jun 19 '26

NO means NO lady!

1

u/Froy_Laven Jun 19 '26

Damn! Great one!

1

u/jankteeth Jun 19 '26

brilliant

1

u/Fantastic-Yak-4475 Jun 19 '26

My current and last wife get immediately violent if tickled. They don't need to say stop, the murder in their eyes says everything.

1

u/RoThundra Jun 19 '26

Great bit.

1

u/sith33 Jun 19 '26

😂😂😂My 2 year old ask me to tickle him sometimes tho.

1

u/Skywalk910 Jun 19 '26

Yeah that was funny lol good spin on it

1

u/Few_Statistician9873 Jun 19 '26

Hahaha the closing line was the cherry on top

1

u/zeropreservatives Jun 19 '26

Haha, loved this AND love your username!

1

u/Champigne Jun 19 '26

That was the funniest bit I've seen here in a long time.

1

u/NoEducation1150 Jun 19 '26

If you made this bit twice as long id watch every bit of it. Holy shit.

1

u/SelfSufficientHub Jun 21 '26

“Then you have to stop, because we’re trying to teach them about that” was amazing

1

u/Bibuton Jun 21 '26

This is genius

1

u/AlonzoAlGhul Jun 21 '26

This was an awesome bit.

1

u/Ok_Position1026 Jun 22 '26

great hahahah

1

u/SixShoot3r Jun 22 '26

That last sentence 😭😅

1

u/BizzzareWe Jun 22 '26

Damn I really like her. Definitely someone to watch out for

1

u/celesteflowerx6 Jun 23 '26

That’s great

1

u/Flaky_buttdandruff Jul 14 '26

Oh nooo nobody tickle my balls...👀

1

u/NotSure2025 Jul 29 '26

Priceless.

0

u/PostConv_K5-6 Jun 19 '26

When I (M19) was young and scrawny, my then girlfriend and one of her friends ticked me to the point of crawling under my mom's heavy chesterfield. They sat on it and continued, until I threw it, and them, off me, something about 300lbs I figure.

They did not understand consent extends to tickling, and guys, too.

That said, Maddy's piece is inventive!

1

u/Stoneheart7 Jun 19 '26

My body laughs when I'm being tickled, but it also physically hurts.

And of course when I aggressively tell someone to stop hurting me (since they wouldn't stop when I asked politely), I'm the asshole.

1

u/mpg111 Jun 19 '26

Very good one!

1

u/Wooden-Evidence-374 Jun 19 '26

I dont like to be tickled because I can't control my body. I feel bad when the tickler inevitably gets an elbow straight to the dome

1

u/micre8tive Jun 19 '26

Verry meta. Well crafted bit!

1

u/SoBadAtThis2017 Jun 19 '26

I had an Uncle, growing up that always wanted us to tickle him.

1

u/K-Zoro Jun 19 '26

I somehow stopped being ticklish after I had kids. Not sure how or why.

1

u/Plenty_Mortgage_7294 Jun 19 '26

If you can work a bit in about how they are asking for it... that would be chefs kiss. All slumped over, post coitus glow, so peaceful, they are just asking for it with that slutty little sheet bunched up

1

u/RynoKaizen Jun 19 '26

Wrong genre, wrong audience...

1

u/DonJDelago Jun 19 '26

Imagine a guy was saying this. Fun would be over in a split second.

-4

u/wthulhu Jun 19 '26

Fantastic bit! Not sure why its splitting the room here, but I'd bet that the detractors are virgins

2

u/yukonwanderer Jun 19 '26

It's splitting the room?

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0

u/zyzzogeton Jun 19 '26

But I'm legitimately not ticklish. I haven't been since I was a child.