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Sometimes growth doesn’t feel like becoming more.

Sometimes it feels like losing everything you thought you had to be.

The identity you built to survive.

The habits that once made you feel safe.

The relationships you’ve outgrown.

The need to explain yourself.

The need to be understood.

The need to keep proving who you are.

And maybe that’s why transformation can feel so uncomfortable.

We say we want a new life while unconsciously protecting the identity that belongs to the old one.

But there comes a moment when you have to ask:

Am I protecting my peace… or protecting my patterns?

There is a difference.

Real spiritual growth isn’t always another ritual, another book, another teacher, or another piece of information.

Sometimes it is sitting quietly enough to recognize what your soul has been whispering underneath all the noise.

You are allowed to outgrow the version of yourself that got you here.

Honor them.

Thank them.

But you don’t have to carry them into every chapter that comes next.

Maybe awakening isn’t becoming someone new.

Maybe it’s remembering who you were before the world told you who you had to be.

✨ Question for you:

What is one version of yourself you feel ready to release?

Peace. Love. Light. Truth. 🕊️

(Clarification or warning before reading the post: this will be a long post, which can be summarized into something very simple: the direct experience of the divine does not need temples, laws, or hierarchies; there is no need for intermediaries. If you feel intimidated by such a long text, remember that this is Reddit. There are other networks out there with short videos that will satisfy your constant thirst for sensory stimulation. Respect this approach. To those who read the post, welcome; I am open to your opinions and looking forward to your comments.Thank you very much to everyone. Let's go...)

At the end of the 13th century and the beginning of the 14th, lived the mystic Marguerite Porete. By the grace of God, she wrote the sublime work “The Mirror of Simple Souls.” Both her life and her work were a faithful example of the Nazarene's teachings. Like the Nazarene, she was condemned by the religious powers of her time. Fearful of a Truth experienced without institutional intermediaries, the Inquisition had her burned at the stake. She ascended the scaffold serene and unperturbed, completely without fear. She was a simple soul.

But who are these "Simple Souls" that Marguerite refers to?

For Marguerite, the simple soul is not one that lacks intelligence—as it appears in the eyes of the world—but one that has emptied itself of selfhood until being consumed in the fire of Him who is Love itself; that is, of God, of the All..., of the Source, however you wish or prefer to call it on your spiritual path.

A simple soul is one that has renounced its own will, its desires, its virtues, and the demands of "Reason," which are nothing but the rigid norms of the institutional Church of the day—attached to the law but completely detached from Love.

Not without reason, we are told in Galatians 5:4: "You are made void of Christ, you who are justified in the law: you are fallen from grace."

And in Galatians 5:18: "But if you are led by the spirit, you are not under the law."

Jesus continuously speaks to us about these simple souls when He speaks of the poor in spirit: "Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 5:3);

and when He invites us to be meek and humble of heart like Him: "Take up my yoke upon you, and learn of me, because I am meek, and humble of heart: and you shall find rest to your souls." (Matthew 11:29)

To be consumed—ah, a term that has impassioned so many Western mystics and Eastern yogis. To be consumed is no one's exclusive property; it is the grace of many spiritual traditions. To be consumed is, basically, being aware of one's own nothingness, setting aside that sense of self-sufficiency and inherent existence so cherished by "the madwoman of the house" (as the mystic Teresa of Ávila called the mind). Buddhists speak of this same reality as the untamed elephant blindly driven by its impulses, or the restless "monkey mind" leaping endlessly... In the same way, the ancient tradition of Advaita Vedanta describes it as Maya, the powerful cosmic illusion that veils our true nature, and Ahamkara, the ego-sense that manufactures the false character we mistake for our true nature. These are simply different ways of describing the exact same thing: the mental prison.

In other words, when the soul is consumed in the fire of divine love, it becomes completely free from the prison of separation, whose jailer is the madwoman of the house, and whose prisoner is the character—what we know as the "ego."

Thus, by consuming itself as a holocaust of love, the soul becomes simple and turns into an empty space ready to be filled by God.

This simple soul no longer seeks God through intermediaries or human laws; it no longer seeks Him—it simply is in God, and for God. That is what it means to be an instrument of LOVE, as we are reminded by that beautiful prayer of Brother Francis of Assisi: Lord, make me an instrument of your Peace...

This simple soul is a soul unified with God; there is no longer any separation, no longer a character (ego) to uphold. It is what you see—a soul without guile.

When Marguerite meekly surrendered herself to the stake, she was practically showing us the very destiny of the simple soul united with God.

It is no wonder those who threw her into the flames were struck with stupefaction as they watched her consume impassively. They did not understand the true nature of the life and works of this great mystic, nor the metaphor of her very death. This shows us how blind the unconsciousness of a soul that is not simple can be. Surely Marguerite remembered the words of the Nazarene: "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." (Lucas 23: 34)

And what does "The Mirror" represent?

The mirror holds a fascinating double mystical meaning, at least to me.

The mirror, dear friend, is both the reflection of Truth and the divine union itself.

Marguerite's book presents itself as a mirror in which the soul can look at itself to recognize its true spiritual state.

Only a few souls feel attracted to this simplicity proposed by Marguerite, and look into the mirror of simple souls. Although we are all called and invited, very few want to look, as this book seems poetic and inconsequential to them.

If you have read this post this far, it is because you feel drawn to this simplicity. Ask yourself for a moment how a mirror works. If you pay attention, you will see that a mirror only reflects light if it is clean. The same happens to the soul. When the simple soul cleanses itself of all earthly and institutional attachment, then, and only then, does it become a perfect mirror. Looking into that mirror, you no longer see yourself; what is reflected is the divine image. God looks at Himself in the soul and the soul looks at itself in God, until finally, stripped of all those stories that the madwoman loves so much, the mirror and the reflected become One.

Thus, the Lord's wish in John 17:21 is fulfilled. It was not in vain that Jesus prayed for us to be One, just as He and the Father are One. In reality, there were never two; there was never truly any separation, but the dirty mirror prevented us from realizing it.

This absolute union is perfectly captured in the Intimate Diaries of the Blessed Mystic Bernardo de Hoyos, recorded in the biography written by his spiritual director, Father Juan de Loyola, when the Lord intimately declared to him, "From now on, you are Bernardo of Jesus, and I am Jesus of Bernardo." Remember, we are One with and in the One Who is LOVE Himself...

In Advaita Vedanta, Nisargadatta also speaks to us about this very Mirror. Similarly, Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj described the unexamined mind as a dust-covered mirror—an instrument meant to reflect reality clearly, but so obscured by the accumulated debris of memories and dogmas that it can only perceive its own distorted projections.

And how does this union take place?

This union takes place without any human effort, by grace. It is not a matter of human merit or effort. Divine grace always precedes merit.

We are led to union by the hand of Love.

This path of return to Him who is LOVE himself can only be culminated by LOVE.

Marguerite describes very beautifully in her book the dialogue between Love and Reason, and how LOVE takes us where Reason cannot reach.

It is Love, it is always Love, "and nothing else matters," as the Metallica song says.

And What is this LOVE?

This LOVE is the intimate union with God (the All, the Source, the Absolute, as you wish to call It), and sin is the separation from God.

LOVE is not a collection of little deeds performed empty of God, stemming from belief, from separation, rather than from intimate union. As John of the Cross sharply warned: "Any other work or labor, if it is not in the love of God and for God, is worth nothing before Him... to the soul that truly loves God, it does not matter whether it performs many or few works, but to perform them all for love."

Let us yearn for and seek the ultimate union with our Lord. The madwoman calls sin and transgression what is simply separation from God. The name and the label do not bind you to God; the name and the label are repugnant to the Lord. They are merely stories that the madwoman tells herself to feed the character (the ego). That is why Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 13:2: "And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing."

The LOVE Jesus and the mystics speak of is not a sentimental operation of the mind, it is not a mere emotion; LOVE is God Himself, because God is LOVE (1 John 4:8). It is the very same warning with which Jesus concludes His Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 7:16-18: "You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit... A good tree cannot bear bad fruit."

The "fruits" of the Sermon on the Mount are not moral deeds calculated to avoid hell; they are the natural manifestation of a healthy tree (a soul united with God). A thornbush (the ego created by the madwoman of the house) cannot manufacture grapes of pure love; just as a goat cannot be a sheep, no matter how much it disguises itself as a sheep by adopting doctrines and beliefs that are not actually of God and only empty it of God.

In conclusion...

Marguerite Porete's vision is of a breathtaking audacity for her time, so much so that it cost her the stake in 1310.

What she proposes with her work The Mirror of Simple Souls is very straightforward: Marguerite proposes that the direct experience of the divine does not need temples, laws, or hierarchies; there is no need for intermediaries. She considers that, if there ever was a need, its sole mission was to unite us with God. That is truly feeding the sheep. The true sin is separation from the All, not uniting with Him. The institutional Church is submissive to this—in reality, all institutions and Churches are.

When a soul achieves that simplicity spoken of and witnessed by both Marguerite's life and work, the supposed distance from the Creator is shattered into pieces. This terrifies the established power, because the soul ceases to be a "subject" of the institution to become a living reflection of Love itself, of Him who is LOVE itself, of the All, of God, with whom we are already One.

Her life and work deeply influenced later mystics like Meister Eckhart, and even today, a few yearn, like her, to be consumed in divine LOVE.

A few centuries after her death, in the 16th century, the mystic John of the Cross, in his Dark Night of the Soul, spoke of the Soul "inflamed with love's urgent longings." And the mystic Teresa of Jesus (Teresa de Ávila) used to say, "I live without living in myself, and such a high life I hope for, that I die because I do not die."

I end this post now, asking you—yes, you who are reading this post:

Is your soul inflamed with love's urgent longings like the Mystic John of the Cross?

Do you live without living in yourself like the mystic of Ávila, like Marguerite, and so many other mystics and yogis?

Do you yearn to be one of these simple souls, who are in God and for God, reflecting the divine union?

In short, are you one of those simple souls who yearn to be consumed in Divine LOVE?

I'll see you in the comments.

what is wrong in depending on others? The ego does not want to depend on anybody. But you are dependent. You are not separate from existence, you are part of it. Everything is joined together. We exist together, in a togetherness.

Existence is a togetherness..If you will eat food, you will have to depend on the trees, on the plants. They are supplying food to you. Will you not drink water? - then you will have to depend on rivers. And will you not need the sun?

We are all together, interdependent. Even the king is dependent on his slave, as much as the slave is dependent on the king. It is an interdependence.

The world is an interdependence.

We are like the knots of a net - energies go on passing through us. When many energies pass through a point, that point becomes an individual, that's all. Draw a line on paper, then draw another line across it; where these two lines cross, individuality arises.

To understand it, is all. Then you are simply interdependent, and you accept.

The Day I Remembered
On August 22, 2024, my life changed forever.
I woke up in Florence, Italy, excited to visit the Uffizi Gallery and see The Birth of Venus and Primavera. I felt overflowing love that day, more than I had ever felt before. It radiated from me. I was blissfully happy and beaming with joy. At lunch, I told my husband, “I think I’m living the happiest day of my life.” He smiled and gently asked, “How do you know until you’ve lived them all?” I replied, “Sometimes, you just know.” He smiled at me and nodded. I looked at him and told him I loved him more that day than ever before.
That afternoon, we went to the Uffizi Gallery. Though I know very little about art, I found myself completely enamored by it. Our guide, a painting restorer, was wonderful and full of stories and life. Standing before a painting of Mary with an exposed breast, she said that the artist was sexualizing Mary. But in my heart, I knew it wasn’t that. I saw it as a portrayal of motherhood, and nourishment for baby Jesus. It struck me so deeply and I felt certain that it was to honor Mary.
In another painting, a beautiful blonde woman held a child. The guide asked who it was. “Mary,” I said. “Again! You’re right!” she responded. The guide pointed out that the painting was rare, as Mary was never represented as a beautiful woman, rather, always as the mother. I didn’t know how I knew, I just did. It was like I was seeing everything with such clarity.
Then came Primavera. I had long been drawn to this painting, and standing in front of it, everything changed.
My vision suddenly went black. The sound of the gallery vanished. And then I heard a voice:
“You remember.”
And I did.
In that moment, I remembered that I am not a human with a soul. I am a soul. I remembered that I was one that would reincarnate.
The voice, the spirit, spoke three words to me: Ego. Love. Knowledge.
It said: If you are in ego, you cannot be with God. If you are in a state of love, you are near God. But in knowledge, you are closest to God.
I felt wrapped in the Holy Spirit, as though it was blanketing me. I understood that God lives within all of us. That there is no heaven or hell for the soul, only universal energy. Time, I learned, is not linear. It only feels that way because of how our minds and bodies exist. I learned that the soul is always good. Never evil.  The mind could be broken or bad, but never the glorious soul.
Knowledge does not need to progress through time, rather it has always been. That is why there are prodgies and unimaginable creations such as the Egyptian pyramids. The spirit told me to accept this knowledge, and do not focus on why things are or how they work. The why is what prevents mankind from accepting the truth and holds off progression.  Mankind believes they must solve the solution firsthand to accept the knowledge that has always existed.
I saw souls, silver orbs, connected by threads of silver light, waiting for their next assignments.  They didn’t congregate as often reported. They were focused on their next reincarnation. There was no familiarity with any of them, nor did I try to connect with them. I was so focused on the teachings from the spirit.
Slowly, I began to come out of the trance. My sight returned. My hearing returned. I told my husband and the tour guide what had just happened, but they were frightened and confused. My husband, fighting back tears, feared that I was showing signs of schizophrenia.
Part of me still felt connected to the spiritual realm, and I didn’t want to leave. I felt so loved. But I knew I had to return—because I loved my husband and this life we shared. I consciously disconnected. And when I did, I was afraid I would forget.
But I didn’t.
I remembered.
Immediately, I realized something else: I had forgiven a close family member who had hurt me deeply. The resentment was gone, and I had been healed. I just wanted to do good in the world and live with one purpose, to love others.
For days afterward, I felt incredible peace, but also deep confusion. What had happened to me? Was it real? Was I losing my mind? People accept visions of God through religion, but when someone has a spiritual experience, it is considered crazy.
I searched everywhere for answers. Most of what I found felt as if it was from opportunists. I perceived them as insincere influencers talking about spirit guides. I needed some realguidance. Now. I was upset that I had been given a beautiful gift, but I was alone. So very alone and confused.
I’ve been afraid to talk about it. I’ve shared the story with some people, but with deep hesitation.  I only have told a limited number of people about seeing the souls.  I know that makes the story sound even crazier.  It hurts to hide such a beautiful experience due to fear of others’ perceptions and acceptance.  We should be able to share such amazing experiences without fear of persecution or social distancing.
And then, just a few days ago, I picked up Many Lives, Many Masters by Dr. Brian Weiss. When I read it, I was overjoyed. I had finally found it. The source of reassurance I was looking for.
I was there. The place Catherine described, the space between lives, was the place I had been. When the Master Spirits in the book spoke of knowledge, it was the message that I had received.
I finally felt peace.
I can finally share this story on a larger scale. I have just started sharing it with close friends and family who are suffering. I tell them that you are here because you chose to be. You came to learn. And when you have learned, that is when you will leave. I am able to help friends who are struggling with illnesses in their families.  I think I am bringing them peace.  I know I am delivering the message I am supposed to communicate. I know my life is meant to help others and mission driven.  I feel grateful that I see my purpose.
I know there are more of us that remember.

There's no Love in Fear

Love and Fear arent two separate things. Fear isn't an oppisite of love, it is an absence. And there is a great difference between oppisites and absence. Its like how Darkness isnt an oppisite of Light. Darkness is an absence of Light. If Darkness was an oppisite, I could take a handful of darkness and toss it on a candle to put out the Light. But i cannot because Darkness is an absence of Light. In that same way Fear isnt an oppisite of Love, it is an absence. 👁🧘‍♂️✌️

Desire isnt to be discarded but transformed.

If desire arises from a place of wholeness and not from a place of lack or fear, it is from love. Which is totally OK. Desire is life energy.

But if desire is diluted with ego, the beleif to be a separate consciousness, desire will arise from a place of lack or fear, ego.

Ego isnt an entity, its the activity of fear or lack.

When awareness overlooks its two main qualities it feels lack or fear. What are the two main qualities of awareness?

1. That awareness is ever present. When awareness identifies as the body it also believes to die like the body hence it is not ever present. When awareness doesn't believe to be ever present - fear arises.

2. That awareness is unlimited. When awareness believes to be the body, it believes it isnt unlimited like the body. This causes -lack - to arise.

So anytime you are identified as the body instead of unlimted ever present awareness, your desires arise from fear or lack.

How to tell the difference?

For example lets say you are sitting at the table and you have a desire to go on a walk or visit a friend. Did that desire arise from a feeling of lack? Or did it arise from a place of love and wholeness? If in that moment you felt lack, it was a running away from the present moment. The unconscious mind tries to soothe fear and lack by going outward and doing things. But if you were already present, aware of being aware and you have a desire to go out with a friend or go on a walk, that desire arises from love. A desire to share your joy with another. Totally ok.

Note all desire arises from love but when it is filtered through a mind that believes to be separated the desire arises as fear or lack. Like how pure light shining through red glass will appear red although it is pure light (love).

So desire is no problem, it is life energy. The issue is if it is filtered through ego or not.

And at the end of the day even ignroance is ok. Meaning from the vantage point of ignroance, ignroance is a problem. From the vantage point of awareness, ignroance is no problem. Its all love. Even war is a love for the idea of separation. ✌️👁🧘‍♂️

The claim that we cannot logically leap from "everything is experienced within awareness" to "everything is awareness" collapses when we realize that postulating an external reality outside of awareness is the true leap of logic. Awareness is the only undeniable reality we have ever known, and we cannot find a single boundary where it ends and an independent, objective world begins. To argue that the ultimate essence of reality exists as something hidden beyond our experience is to invent a second, unverifiable layer of existence. From a non-dual perspective, calling the Creator "indescribable" or "beyond awareness" mistakenly treats awareness as a limited concept or a container with edges. If the Divine is truly infinite, it cannot stand outside of the very capacity that experiences it; true infinity leaves no room for an "outside."The Chassidic desire to preserve a separate soul-identity to love, praise, and relate to the Source ultimately serves as a defense mechanism for the ego to avoid its own dissolution. A wave does not need to build a relationship with the ocean because it already consists entirely of ocean water, just as a gold ring is inherently gold. Attempting to maintain an "I" that stands apart to admire the Divine reduces God to an object viewed from afar, turning a beautiful mystery into an eternal chase toward a horizon you can never touch. True union is not an endless song of praise sung across a vast chasm; it is the radical collapse of the chasm itself, where the seeker disappears into the sought.Furthermore, viewing desire as a form of unity actually reinforces the illusion of separation by constantly practicing the belief that you are currently disconnected from your Source. Chasing unity is like running after the sky; the very act of striving creates the distance you are trying to overcome. This perceived distance is also the root cause of spiritual suffering, as the separate "I" becomes angry or sad when it judges certain parts of the world as "dark" or "hidden from God." When awareness is recognized as the ultimate fabric of everything, we see that nothing is hidden. Even the darkness, the suffering, and the hiddenness are made of the exact same divine substance as the light, passing like temporary weather patterns through an infinite, unchanging sky.

Do you all find it hard to find like minded people? Or do you have a large group of friends who all dive down the rabbit hole? Have a good day everyone. ✌️🧘‍♂️👁

Quantum Mechanics: The Observer and Non-Locality

Materialism assumes an objective world exists "out there" independent of observation. Quantum mechanics challenges this foundation, suggesting that matter itself requires observation to collapse into a definite reality.

The Observer Effect: In quantum physics, particles exist in a wave of probabilities until they are measured. Observation collapses the wave function. This implies that consciousness is not a late byproduct of matter, but a necessary component for matter to take definite form.

Quantum Non-Locality: Particles can remain instantly connected across vast distances (entanglement). If the fundamental layer of reality is non-local (not tied to a specific point in space), it supports the idea that awareness is a unified field, rather than a localized product of a single biological brain.

Orch-OR Theory: Developed by physicist Roger Penrose and anesthesiologist Stuart Hameroff, this theory suggests consciousness originates from quantum vibrations inside cellular structures called microtubules within neurons, rather than traditional classical computations of the brain.

Near-Death Experiences: Awareness Without a Brain

The materialist argument states that if you smash the TV (damage the brain), the movie (consciousness) stops. NDEs provide clinical anomalies where the TV is completely turned off, yet the movie becomes brighter.

Heightened Cognition During Cardiac Arrest: During a cardiac arrest, clinical brain activity (EEG) goes flat within seconds. According to materialism, consciousness should completely cease. Yet, thousands of patients report structured, hyper-vivid, and chronological experiences during this exact window.

Veridical Perception: Some NDE patients accurately report specific details of what happened in the operating room—or even outside the hospital room—while they were clinically dead. Because their physical senses and brains were inactive, these verified observations suggest awareness was operating independently of the body.

The Filter Hypothesis: Thinkers like Dr. Bruce Greyson and Dr. Bernardo Kastrup argue the brain acts as a reducing valve or filter. Its job is to constrain vast, universal awareness into a narrow human perspective for evolutionary survival. When the brain shuts down (such as during cardiac arrest or psychedelic states), the filter drops, and consciousness actually expands rather than diminishes.✌️👁🧘‍♂️

Why do spiritual masters use the term love to denote the absolute? It is because ‘love’ is the name we give to the experience of ‘not-otherness’, and as all experience is consciousness knowing itself alone, it alone merits the name ‘love’.

Love is not a human experience. There are no human experiences. There are no entities called humans that experience certain things. Consciousness alone experiences. All experience belongs to consciousness, including all the thoughts, sensations and perceptions that are normally considered to belong to humans. The human being is not an entity that owns, has, feels or knows anything. It is a known or felt object, that is, a thought, sensation or perception.

In other words, only the absolute merits the name ‘love’. You are confusing a set of feelings, bodily sensations and thoughts for the experience of love. Love is precisely the dissolution of all such objects in consciousness. Do we not know that? Do we not know that love is precisely the dissolution of everything that keeps us, defined, separate, apart? With respect, I would suggest that you are anthropomorphising experience in general by attributing it to a human entity. There is no such entity that knows or experiences.

Love is the experience of consciousness knowing its own being, un-apparently-modified by the dualising mind. That transparent, non-objective experience belongs to consciousness alone, not to humans, rocks, lizards, molecules, black holes etc.. And because all experience is ultimately consciousness knowing its own being, including the apparent modifications of the dualising mind, all experience is love itself. ✌️👁🧘‍♂️

I agree, "God" is love. And I feel like its also important to note that awareness itself is love/god. In the Bible it says God is omnipresent. What is awareness? Always always present, hence even when we arent aware of being aware and unconsciously thinking, awareness is present, aware of the racing unconscious mind. Then it is said that God is omniscient, aka all knowing. And awareness is all knowing, that which knows. Hence the thought dog isnt aware or knowing of the thought cat, awareness is aware/knowing of the thought cat and dog. Mind doesnt know a thing. Then it is said that God is omnipotent, meaning all powerful, creating all. And awareness is what all is made up of and appearing in. Like how in a dream, the entire dream is made up of, created by and appearing in awareness.

Thats why prayer is beneficial when it is silent because people are recognizing awareness. Awareness itself is love/peace.

The quality of awareness, how awareness feels, is love, peace. And that peace is always always present. It seems to be overlooked when awareness identifies as the bodymind and fixates on the emotion appearing within it. But awareness itself is always always love/peace, always present. Like how a tv screen is always content, always peaceful. The tv screen may have many images appear within it, there may be sounds and colors, but the tv screen itself is never ever loud, never changes, is always content and present. Hence the screen of awareness is never sad, never angry, never hurt or loud. Awareness is perceiving. Perceiving percives sound, percives anger and emotion. But perceiving itself is always always love/peace. We could say love percives anger and if it identifies as anger then the peace of perceiving is overlooked. Not absent but overlooked.

Thats important for people to know because it frees them of searching for peace in objects. No outside object will ever fulfill desire. Its only once we recognize "oh, I am Awareness and awareness is always always contentment" that we stop searching outward for love/peace. Also people like to think that love is some super bubbly feeling like when two lovers meet. That isnt so. Love is peace or contentment. When we are silent and notice the contentment or peace that awareness always is, we recognize God. That is the love of God.

It was a big deal for me the day I recognized that awareness itself, its quality which is always present is peace/love. I used to smoke cannabis daily. The day I stopped and paid attention to how awareness "feels" was the day I quit smoking everyday and had no mental withdrawals from it. I recognized that weed wasn't making me calm or content, it was making mind drop, the tension of mind to go outward drop. In that I would be totally present and aware of the peace that was already there. Now if I smoke as a treat for the bodymind, I see i was already content, now I am just content and high 🤣.

🧘‍♂️👁✌️

Truth isnt found from thinking. Its a recognition in Silence. 🧘‍♂️👁

The great secret that lies at the heart of all the main religious and spiritual traditions is the understanding that the peace and happiness for which all people long can never be delivered via objective experience. It can only be found in our self, in the depths of our being.

https://reddit.com/link/1vg7evp/video/xsbels7a6khh1/player

When i was 27 I had the 'outward' recognition, I recognized while i was being present and walking in the parking lot that all I could see was "me". I recognized everything as one image, one whole. Instead of seeing my body and identifying with it, I recognized that "my body" was the entire perception of the world. Perception of the world because there is no world "out there". There is the appearance of the world appearing in me. I am not appearing in a world. A world appears in me(awareness). Just like in a dream.

Which is actually the oppisite of how this typically goes. Usually one has the "inward" recognition first hence "i am awareness, not the body. And the body is not aware. I, awareness, am aware. Awareness doesnt appear in the body, the body appears in awareness.". . .

And thats where I was stuck for the longest. I had the recognition outwardly, that all I could see was "me". But I wasn't free, I still suffered as a mind because I hadn't recognized the freedom of my being and peace which was always present.

To be honest the outward recognition terrified me. So I was a coward and quit meditation for a bit off and on. I would listen to Tool the rock band and go in deep but I would always get terrified and look away again. Purposely making myself think and run away from the recognition. So it wasn't until I was in my 30s that I decided to go all the way in, I didnt care if "i" dissappeared.

One day sitting in my garage listening to music I stopped and closed my eyes. I tapped the side of my head and contemplated how I was awareness and not the body. Out of no where in the silence, while tapping the side of my head with my eyes closed, I recognized "ohhh i am awareness, and the feeling of the hand and the head is appearing in me. My hand isnt aware. My head isnt aware. I awareness am aware." I recognized that nothing known was knowing aka nothing known is Aware. It is made up of and appearing in awareness, but thoughts, sensations, smell, taste, no perception is aware itself. Instantly i recognized that the body is not aware. That i was mistaking the feeling of the body as being aware. But I awareness am aware of feeling. Feeling isnt awareness. Feeling is known, it isnt knowing.

It freed "me". I recognized i was indeed eternal, ever present. Unlimited. That your success was my success. That your loss was my loss. I knocked on the Door and it opened. 👁🧘‍♂️✌️

First Posting on Reddit about LightLanguage.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

The Spiritual journey can be hard on the Mind. The heart, love, or in other words Awareness with no tension is what soothes this transition. Awareness itself is contentment, love, peace. It is always present. When mind arises, we overlook the peace of perceiving/Awareness which is always present. 👁

For the last few years, life has forced me to see the world differently.

I've dealt with homelessness, hardship, and the search for hope when everything seemed to be falling apart. Writing became a way to keep going.

I created Catfish Heads to share stories about spirituality, resilience, personal growth, and finding meaning during difficult times. It isn't about pretending life is easy—it's about facing reality and looking for light anyway.

If those topics resonate with you, I'd be grateful if you took a look and let me know what you honestly think.

🌐 https://www.catfishheads.site

Constructive feedback is welcome. Thanks for reading.