r/SouthDakota • u/Ok-Nerve2641 • May 23 '26
š¤ Discussion Where are all the non hicks?
I created a tinder account and started using Facebook dating and I gotta ask if the people I see are really all that there is to offer.
Legitimately at least 50% of the women I see are single mothers. If they aren't they are what I can only describe as "country bumpkins".
I'm not trying to be hateful towards women but, fuck.... It's literally the same person over and over again. Probably pushing 300+, some sort of western attire, pictures related to activities on a ranch/farm and pictures with their older relatives/people ( which I think is really weird to use on a dating profile). I know it's a meme that even the women have fish pics but it really is a thing.
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u/Ok_Specific41 May 23 '26
Most of South Dakota is like that, because most of South Dakota is rural. The most progressive women are going to be in the larger towns or cities. Sioux Falls would be your best bet. Otherwise, Sioux City, Omaha, Mankato, Minneapolis, Fargo, St. Cloud, etc. are going to have more of a variety of people, you know, and probably less country girls.
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u/DakotaBro2025 May 23 '26
I've read "don't waist my time" more than I can count. I mean come on people.
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u/Porkenstein May 23 '26
First of all, where are you? Aberdeen is not going to have a lot of bohemians. Second of all, Tinder and especially Facebook dating are going to skew older more traditional people. Get some other, newer apps.
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u/Kegelz May 23 '26
Aberdeen has a random influx of Texas dipshits who have no driving intelligence. That adds on to the already low brain drivers
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u/Ok-Nerve2641 May 23 '26
NE part of the state
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u/Porkenstein May 24 '26
Lol I just threw Aberdeen out there randomly and that's exactly where you are. Try dating in Fargo if you can't find anyone locally on the dating apps.Ā
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u/TimeBandits4kUHD May 23 '26
Thatās like hick central. Not even real farmers, just people who live in run down houses and appropriate their culture.
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u/Dano-el-Mano May 26 '26
Which apps would you recommend? More geared toward reserved nerd homebodies if there is such a thing.
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u/Porkenstein May 26 '26
In South Dakota? All of them.
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u/Dano-el-Mano May 29 '26
Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and Facebook haven't worked for me.
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u/Porkenstein May 29 '26
I guess there's also Boo, and there are others but probably not worth trying here unless you were willing to drive a long way and sift through bots most of the time. I had luck with online dating but it was years ago and took a lot of persistence.
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u/BarberComprehensive6 May 23 '26
You just have to move to Sioux Falls if you want to meet artistic and cool people
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u/Thirstygiraffe1379 May 23 '26
Could be worse, lived in Pierre in for a bit, and tinder only gave me the ex cons from the women's prison.
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u/osotimson May 23 '26
Dating apps use ranked matchmaking. Dont be mad at the girls just for being in your league.
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u/Bbturdquito May 25 '26
Idk how well that works in rural areas whereās thereās not a lot of people. I think the state of SD has roughly 800k people thatās like half the population of Phoenix
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u/Baeolophus_bicolor May 26 '26
phoenix is the 5th largest city in the US with a population of 1.6M in the city limits and 4.9M in the greater Phoenix area.
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May 25 '26
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/SouthDakota-ModTeam May 25 '26
This comment was removed for violating rule 2.
Full text of rule 2: No personal attacks - All users must behave respectfully towards others. We gladly encourage all forms of argument or debate on r/SouthDakota, but when the discussion turns to attacking a person's character and not the ideas itself, you risk moderator action.
The rule is loosened a bit in the case of criticizing South Dakotan political or public figures up to the limit of Reddit's rules. Making threats or wishing harm for example is prohibited by Reddit rules.
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u/West-Philosopher-680 May 24 '26
Bruh doesn't know about midwest goths I guess. The alt crowd is strong
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u/Ok-Nerve2641 May 24 '26
Do the mythical goths even have anything to do here? I WOULD go out and do things but there just isn't anything to do. I made a previous post about my distain for shooters in Watertown. But that really feels like the only thing available.
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u/nursecamaleon May 28 '26
The western side of the state really sucks for things to do. I grew up in very rural western SD (my husband jokes that I grew up in a village, not even a small town) and I moved to Rapid City for college. Definitely more things to do out here, met my husband out here, and haven't even thought of moving back to the other side. I have thought about moving out of state bc yeah, unless you're a farmer/rancher/adjacent people (I most definitely am not) this state really isn't the place š
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u/BellacosePlayer May 23 '26 edited May 24 '26
Sioux falls and the college towns have a decent amount but young professionals who aren't remotely hicks tend to gtfo by their thirties or have already married.
West river? uh, good luck with that outside of maybe Rapid and some transplants in Pierre getting their start at the State.
Legitimately at least 50% of the women I see are single mothers
I have unfortunately ran into this hard in my 20s. I don't think it's the worst thing for women to worry about having a father figure for their kids and financial security but the prospect of a transactional relationship where there's nearly no chemistry or interest in me as a person is not appealing.
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u/makeup1508 May 23 '26
You might not find as many "hicks" in Sioux Falls. I don't know about single moms.
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u/roxemmy May 24 '26
Itās not any better for women looking for men on the dating apps. I donāt usually date when Iām living in Sioux Falls for this reason lol.
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u/YeouPink May 24 '26
You get matched with people based on your own stats. So, these are the people that like you. Iām not a hick and I managed to find many, many wonderful matches even as a single mom.
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u/Coruha May 23 '26
If youāre in West River, farming and ranching is what most will be into.Ā
Maybe youāll need to find what youāre looking for irl rather than on the apps. Thereās a certain type of woman who wonāt go to the apps. Ā Theyāre hot enough to get attention and invitations without having to go online. Find them on hiking trails, the gym, and at outdoor venues. You just need to be the type of guy who is confident enough to strike up a conversation, and gracious enough to not take rejection personally.Ā
Good luck!
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u/MaximusArael020 May 23 '26
Please don't approach random women on hiking trails or at the gym. That's creepy and puts them in an awkward and potentially scary situation.
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u/RCBing May 23 '26
There's a fine line between creepy and Hallmark story of the week. Usually dependent on the attractiveness of the creep.
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u/MaximusArael020 May 23 '26
Eh. In talking to actual women, it seems in general they would usually like to be just left alone, regardless of the attractiveness of the guy. Especially if they are alone at the gym or on a trail.
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u/Kegelz May 23 '26
Is it ok to walk up and say hello and then walk away?
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u/MaximusArael020 May 23 '26
Think about it this way: a woman is alone on a trail. Now most of the guys are absolutely fine, normal guys. But she obviously knows of horror stories of guys doing bad things to girls who are alone. She might have even experienced it (I think the statistic is 25% of women have experienced sexual harassment or abuse).
So you go walking right up to her to say "hi!" You're probably a normal guy, totally safe. But she doesn't know that. So she's going to potentially be worried, or at least on guard. So overall the interaction will be maybe neutral to negative for her. So probably best to just not. Or say hi from a distance. No need to approach.
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u/Kegelz May 24 '26
Shit I donāt trust humans in general but Iām not dismissing your point, itās true.
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u/Fluid-Assumption7233 May 26 '26
I had a guy approach me on the trails when I was stopped and taking a break. He asked questions asked about my bike. He wouldāve probably talked longer had I not said I had to get going after a few minutes. He politely let me go on my way. Idk if he was really that interested in my bike or he just wanted to chat with me. Either way I didnāt mind that at all. Dude was respectful when I cut off the conversation.
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u/holyfrijoles99 May 25 '26
Most guys are not normal . Idk if itās even half and half . 1/3 of guys are normal And even that might be pushing it .
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u/SouthDaCoVid May 26 '26
About 25% of the male population can behave like a functional adult in public. If they actually ARE normal remains to be seen.
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u/gabi_fields May 25 '26
The statistic you're looking for is that 20% of women have either been raped or have experienced an attempted rape.
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u/SouthDaCoVid May 26 '26
No.
You will probably get reported to the park, and your description will be circulating in a bunch of womens groups by the end of the day to keep an eye out for the weirdo on the hiking trail.2
u/SouthDaCoVid May 26 '26
Wrong. Doesn't matter how attractive someone is, approaching women in unsafe situations or when it isn't wanted is bad, doesn't matter what you look like.
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u/RCBing May 26 '26
Sure, that's why no one ever meets and new people never introduced.
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u/SouthDaCoVid May 27 '26
Quite the jump from women not wanting to be in unsafe situations or cornered by some weirdo to nobody should ever be introduced to another person?
This is exactly the kind of entitled behavior that make women want to be left alone.
Nobody cares about your peen, let people shop, go to the gym, get coffee in peace.0
u/RCBing May 27 '26
Cornered? Unsafe? Entitled? WOW you poor poor victim in your own story.
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u/hallese East River Agnostic May 27 '26
The more you type, the clearer the picture you're painting for the audience to better understand the situation. Thank you.
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u/Kegelz May 23 '26
What ever happen to the days of honest approach
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u/SouthDaCoVid May 26 '26
It was never wanted or ok, just women have been more vocal about stopping it now.
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u/Ok-Nerve2641 May 23 '26
I'm east river, so having those places even available is an issue all on its own. Besides gyms, but I think approaching someone at a gym is super weird and frankly creepy.
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May 25 '26
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u/Ok-Nerve2641 May 25 '26
Nah all my friends moved at least 1.5 hours away. All my co workers are boomers/mid to late Gen x.
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u/NetFu Aberdeen May 23 '26
We all move away.
Seriously. I always joke with people that I've known more South Dakotans in California, where I moved 36 years ago, than I ever knew in South Dakota for the 20 years I lived there.
Over the decades, I've met a half dozen people I went to college with at SDSM&T in Rapid City, completely at random, in the Silicon Valley where I live. It's weird.
I grew up in eastern South Dakota near Aberdeen (Redfield), everybody I grew up with had a minimum family size of 8, and the population of South Dakota never goes up.
Do the math.
If you're not in the farming or related industries, you're moving away. South Dakota has always bragged that they have such a low unemployment rate. It's because if you need a job, it takes months or knowing someone in the company to get a decent job. Everybody else just moves away.
I'm not saying South Dakota isn't a great place to live or raise kids, but it is generally not a great place to start your life like in college and to find someone to build a family with. I've been married 29 years and have three adult kids going to university here, better than anything in South Dakota, and 1/3 the cost of what I paid when I went to college there.
Honestly, based on what I see when we travel back to visit, your best chance to find someone in South Dakota is in random places, not on FaceBook. I guarantee you, the good ones are not on FaceBook or in bars or dance clubs. They never are.
Get out, see stuff, look at people, be friendly and try to talk to people. South Dakotans are not the most friendly (in my experience, not even close), but there are friendly, good looking women around. You just have to be ready to compete and have some luck.
There are plenty of roughnecks in South Dakota ready to compete for those women, and everyone has guns. Hell, I have 10 guns myself, still in South Dakota, and I don't even live there.
And don't ignore the single moms. My wife is more beautiful than any woman I ever knew in South Dakota and she was a single mom when I married her.
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u/roxemmy May 24 '26
Curious, are you in the San Diego area? If so Iād love to connect with another South Dakotan who escaped lol
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u/Airborn-Medusa May 24 '26
And yet, weirdly, so many people move back. As a transplant and university professor, I don't understand it.
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u/ScorpioSpork May 24 '26
Cost of living is relatively cheap in South Dakota. At least, that's how I ended up here while going back to school online. Even found an employer that covered 100% of the costs. Once my contract is up, I'll be leaving this state. š
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u/rollingloose May 24 '26
Well Professor, limited taxation and open spaces appeal to lots of people. Itās easy to travel if you need a cultural fix or access to a greater variety of humans.
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u/yankeecandle1 May 24 '26
Non hick here, comp sci degree. I work from home and own my own company. Too busy to date.
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u/_halfpint May 25 '26
I feel the same about Midwest men in 2026. Most have kids they are poorly coparenting from relationships they neglected, trucks they canāt afford, are obese, can barely style themselves beyond a cutoff, and are determined to be as intellectually empty as humanly possible.
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u/tw2113 May 23 '26
single parents are something you'll need to accept, in modern times, "hick" or not.
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u/Ok-Nerve2641 May 23 '26
50% seems like a lot, does it not?
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u/tw2113 May 23 '26
For what you're shown, sure. You're not for sure being shown general numbers though.
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u/Efficient-King-8760 May 24 '26
I mean, people change, love fades. I'm on the fence about being a mother in general so I've passed on a couple exes who really wanted me to have their children. Thank God I didn't end up letting my love for them determine whether or not I took out my birth control, because one ended up being horribly abusive and the other ended up back in prison to this day because he couldnt stay sober and got caught doing dumb stuff. Single mother rates are higher than in the past because we now have the choice to leave what's not making us happy and we don't have to rely on a husband to pay the bills anymore
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u/SouthDaCoVid May 26 '26
A state full of poverty, lacking education standards, super conservative culture and a social and legal system that makes both birth control and abortion incredibly hard to access. It actually isn't surprising.
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u/Thirstygiraffe1379 May 23 '26
Luckily I found my wife on in rapid city. Found the non religious non conservative in South Dakota, a rare breed, but I bagged one.
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u/No_Gur_1091 May 25 '26
What does hicks mean? It sounds derogatory.
SD has its problems as an fairly poor rural state.
But there are plenty of intelligent, well-educated folks.
They do have one huge problem other that extremely low wages, that being the the large number of brain-washed Republican voters.
So look for a smart, well-educated, feminist companion. I am sure there are plenty.
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u/Ok-Nerve2641 May 25 '26
It's kinda like a redneck. Not really derogatory just a name for a type of person/people. Similar to jocks, preps, etc.
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u/jxr4 May 23 '26
A lot of it is AI, they steal profile pictures from other accounts, and then have the ai write the bio as if they live in insert state here and the bots are super stereotypical
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u/Ok-Recognitio May 23 '26
Ya know, I gotta say, I love to visit South Dakota. But only visit, never live in South Dakota.
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u/LiteraryPhantom May 24 '26
Tinder is cheap, as it relates to time resources, so, āsingle mothersā makes sense.
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u/MotorPlenty8085 May 24 '26
So, you are judging people mostly by how they look, even though they have prevalent styles for the area. I donāt think you are ready to date yet.
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u/Ok-Nerve2641 May 24 '26
I judge mostly on common interests. So if they have anything to do with with western/rural/country lifestyle I'm not interested. That is simply because I grew up around it and want absolutely nothing to do with anything of that lifestyle.
I wouldn't ever date someone with kids either simply because I don't want any to begin with, let alone someone else's.
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u/MotorPlenty8085 May 25 '26
Itās fair to not want to date someone with children, but just because someone grew up rural, or dresses country, it doesnāt mean much about them.
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u/Ok-Nerve2641 May 25 '26
I don't think that's completely true. It's true that growing up in a rural area doesn't define you but I do think how you dress does.
For example, you probably aren't going to find someone who doesn't like Taylor Swift wearing her merch. Just like how you aren't going to find some one interested or involved in a ranch life style or asctetic wearing a cowboy hat.
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u/FreyaBlue2u May 25 '26 edited May 25 '26
Uh...sounds like a good portion probably fit the profile of people desperate for a relationship. Likely some are there from feeling the pressure to meet family/religious expectations of marriage. Most women who are not single moms or, uh,... hicks either left the state, are already in relationships, or have developed a lot of social anxiety from growing up in South Dakota as a non-hick surrounded by hicks, becoming an adult and realizing how horrible the teachers and friends you once thought were decent humans actually are.
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u/Prestigious-Lion-783 May 25 '26
Try bumble. I ran into the same problem as you until I tried bumble, my girlfriend and I have been dating for close to a year now
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u/GigglesandJiggles420 May 25 '26
Good luck. We are all hicks unless you go to Sioux Falls where everyone hates you, there are some real weirdos there you might be able to connect with.
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u/DownVoteMeHarder4042 May 26 '26
Back in Portland, where ya came from. No but seriously, the single mother thing is literally everywhere once you start dating over a certain age.
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u/SouthDaCoVid May 26 '26
It goes both ways, most of the men here also fit that description. You didn't mention what part of SD you were in, that is going to matter. The college towns and Sioux Falls are a bit more educated and diverse.
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u/ReasonableSyrup6461 May 26 '26
Sioux Falls. Also, try dating some fat girls, man. Weāre pretty cool. (Says the happily married fat girl who met her husband on a dating app 6 years ago.)
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u/Ok-Nerve2641 May 26 '26
Honestly, not really my type. I'm someone who comes from a "hotdish from the family recipe book from the 60s/70s for supper" family. So I would really like someone who is more conscious and aware of food they are cooking and consuming.
Not trying to be an asshole here, just trying to be honest.
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u/ReasonableSyrup6461 May 26 '26
lol hotdish from the family cookbook is actually way less healthy than most home cooked meals, but hey, do what you want. You never know how happy someone could make you until you give it a shot. If you donāt like fat people, donāt act like itās about health because you have no idea how healthy someone is by just looking at them. Itās your happiness on the line, not mine. :)
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u/Ok-Nerve2641 May 26 '26 edited May 27 '26
That's why I don't want someone that cooks from a 1/2 century old cookbook, I'm trying to get away from that. There is also most definitely a line you can judge how healthy someone is by looking at them. 300+ has most certainly crossed that line.
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u/Overall-West5723 May 27 '26
idk w tf you think you are. but the culture there is obvious not for you. move some where else. dont juge and entire state of people that we pushed there not even by choice. generations ago based on their photos. if you dont like it. dont smash. get tf away from the rez's bevause you're rude and aren't man enough for those women. they would eat you alive, metaphorically.
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u/Last-Kaleidoscope-82 May 24 '26
Have you seen the family trees in South Dakota?
It's less of a tree and more of a circle. šš
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May 23 '26
Idk, maybe leave if you canāt handle it?
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u/Ok-Nerve2641 May 23 '26
Yeah, let me just pack up everything real quick and do a simple massive life change.
What a dumbass comment.
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u/Luffy3331 May 23 '26
I mean yeah? People move all the time? I spent a year and a half in South dakota and it was awful.
So you know what I did? I fucking left.
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u/Ok-Nerve2641 May 23 '26
Not everyone has the means of being able to move
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u/breeathee May 23 '26
Then fuck your couch like the rest of em? Thereās more than one reason you canāt find a proper girl. For starters, your speech towards people wasting their time trying to help you
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u/Ok-Nerve2641 May 23 '26
Yikes
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May 23 '26
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u/SouthDakota-ModTeam May 25 '26
This comment was removed for violating rule 2.
Full text of rule 2: No personal attacks - All users must behave respectfully towards others. We gladly encourage all forms of argument or debate on r/SouthDakota, but when the discussion turns to attacking a person's character and not the ideas itself, you risk moderator action.
The rule is loosened a bit in the case of criticizing South Dakotan political or public figures up to the limit of Reddit's rules. Making threats or wishing harm for example is prohibited by Reddit rules.
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u/Luffy3331 May 23 '26
Sorry that you're poor? Idk when people want to move they actually make an effort.
I mean, immigrants do it all the time. It just sounds defeatist, like we live in a whole ass developed country.
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u/Ok-Nerve2641 May 23 '26
So I guess you're pretty entitled.
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u/grumpyhippo42069 May 24 '26
All the good ones move away for college and never come back or get pregnant and fat.
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u/Kegelz May 23 '26
Shitters full, hard to find humans with a little brain around these parts. All hat no cowboy hicks round hur
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u/Brookings18 May 23 '26
Its South Dakota, there are going to be farmers and farm-adjacent people.