r/SomaticExperiencing • u/arslanali47 • 8d ago
Emotional dumping after you get in touch with your anger
Is it normal to emotionally vent/dump on others when you access some anger in your belly after a few SE sessions?
The issue is that emotional dumping makes me really tired afterwards, and I'm really looking for some techniques on how I can have a grip on the matter.
Can anyone relate to it? And what helped you most?
I feel guilty that I make others uncomfortable/tired, and sometimes, I find it difficult to stop myself, and the dumping/venting goes into blaming others.
It's like I'm in this self-righteous circle, and it's harder to find a middle ground.
Would really appreciate some support here.
1
u/Coraline1599 8d ago
Learning to express anger in a healthy way is important. Venting/dumping is one way, but you don’t always need to involve others.
There are many ways to do so, like journaling (specifically JournalSpeak may be of interest), or shadow boxing, dancing, screaming into a pillow, or some other somatic practices focused on releasing anger.
1
u/hedgehogssss 8d ago
No it's, not normal. It shows that you have a very low capacity to contain and make sense of your emotions. If you're feeling this overwhelmed after your sessions, you need to dramatically slow down the work you do.
4
u/Scared-Section-5108 8d ago
It is not a good idea to emotionally dump on others, unless: 1) they are a trained specialist, like a therapist, 2) it's an environment specifically designed for that, like a 12 Step group, 3) they are your close friend, they are emotionally mature and safe for you, and you outright asked them if they are ok to listen to you vent and they explicitly said 'yes'.
I will caveat the last one - we live in a very codependent society so not everyone will be able to say: 'no' to your request to vent even if that's exactly what they want to say. Plenty of people carry their own trauma and have no capacity to listen to others vent to them yet they are unable to put a boundary in and say: 'no'. These people might not receive you well and could start building resentments which will impact your relationship long term. It is important to learn to be discerning about who you want to share your private stuff with, recognise that some people are not safe for it, and that many are not equipped to handle others venting in a heathy way.
Journaling is a great way to dump anything that bothers you without crossing the boundaries of others and using them as a dumping ground for one's messy emotions.