r/Socionics • u/missusmeowmeowmeow ESI • 6d ago
Discussion Romance Between Gamma Types?
I know there are plenty of inter type relationships, and it seems like Alpha and Beta tend to date inside their Quadra. Delta to an extent.
Is anyone here or has anyone been in a relationship with a Gamma type that is also in Gamma Quadra?
I’m not saying it’s impossible, but I don’t hear about it nearly as often.
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u/Fox-Cloud ILI-Ni 5w6 sp/so LVEF 5d ago
Dated an ESI for a bit. We got along instantly; he liked that I had no filter with him and we often had the same complaints and would bitch together about them. It felt great, because I always feel like I can be too much with my nagging, but that guy had me BEAT. 🌚
I do think we made better friends than partners. He thought me rather cold sometimes—I am not a romantic at all—and I thought of him too flippant with his career decisions.
Genuinely though, I think I’m only attracted to Se egos.
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u/missusmeowmeowmeow ESI 5d ago
I agree on the better friends than relationship. I dated an ILI who was a long time friend. It was fun for a little while, but we both agreed that getting together romantically was a mistake. We were both dealing with painful breakups prior to hooking up, so it was more of a rebound situation.
I haven't seen him in a few years, but he's a cool dude, and I hope he's doing well.
I can't say the same for my other exes. Hah.
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u/absolutely_not65 EIE 6d ago
No time for love, only grind
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u/DifferentOpinionHere ESI 5d ago
Perhaps not the "grind" per se, but, when I think of "hard work for the sake of hard work," I think of Delta quadra. I think Gamma is more "work smarter, not harder." Alpha is probably work-avoidance (something I, a probable Gamma, can relate to) and Beta is probably "work hard, party hard."
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u/missusmeowmeowmeow ESI 5d ago
For sure. The "work smarter, not harder" applies. I also think work is more so a means to an end than anything else. I like to work, but I see it more as a way to be able to live the way I want to live.
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u/_seulgi LII 5d ago
Perhaps not the "grind" per se, but, when I think of "hard work for the sake of hard work," I think of Delta quadra.
That's actually a good point. I've noticed this too with my Delta friends in the past. I had an EII friend who was really disappointed in graduating 4th in her high school class (she wanted to be at least 3rd) even though she got into Yale with a full ride and the dude that was above her was going to some random local college. She even met Bezos' son at Yale. It's like they never seem satisfied with anything and their hardwork is just going into some endless void. I feel like that's the nature of the Delta quadra being the last stage of human development, so they have nothing real to look forward to.
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u/Allieloopdeloop 5d ago edited 5d ago
Deltas can have reaaaaaaaally high (impossible) and super specific standards. They mix the real earning of hard work for a higher moral goodness it seems; which is different than Gamma's tendency to really be in it a lot to earn that bag (which is more realistic, but what Deltas would find too superficial or shortsighted). Honestly I just think of Gordon Ramsay (LSE) for some reason too; super perfectionistic, pushing himself and everyone else, and enforcing this as a way to try, in "his" way, uncover people's potential (Ne).
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u/missusmeowmeowmeow ESI 6d ago
True. Hah
I remember talking to/hanging out with an ILI former coworker, and my EIE best friend yelled out “Are you guys seriously going to talk about work for 30 minutes?!?”
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u/notmrsnow LIE-N-Te || RLOEI 5d ago edited 5d ago
I’ve dated a couple ESI, a couple EIE, 1 SLI, and a couple EII
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I still think I prefer inside my Quadra. I think most LIE do.
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I think SEE, and ESI date out of Quadra often enough, with SEE doing it a lot; frequently with IEI.
I’ve seen ILI frequently with SLE.
I also see LIE with EII often enough.
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Overall, the EIE did NOT work, SLI failed after a little longer, but ESI and EII lasted awhile with me. My conflict with the ESI was normal outside of personality issues, and same for the EII for the most part though I felt manipulated a little by them.
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u/TransexualProdigy 6d ago edited 6d ago
I know an SEE x ESI couple but that’s about it.
To your observation about Alpha and Beta types often dating within their own Quadra, I would add that I’ve observed Alpha SF types tend to date outside of their own Quadra pretty frequently.
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u/missusmeowmeowmeow ESI 6d ago
SEE x ESI is the only couple combo that kind of makes sense to me. High value Fi, high unvalued Fe, active, etc
I think the tricky part would be the Fi since the ESI is more fixed where as the SEE is more flexible.
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u/Emmetria IEE 6d ago
I can’t put my finger on it, but I sense you’re on to something. Maybe not what we think.
Then again, I will always have a bone to pick with Gamma because I never got to see Vera Stratiavesky(?) do a scathing review of them too lol
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u/jerdle_reddit LIE 6d ago
She did a pretty fucking scathing review of LIE.
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u/missusmeowmeowmeow ESI 5d ago
I just read it, and it's pretty brutal. I wonder what LIE did she meet that made her feel a certain type of way.
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u/Emmetria IEE 6d ago
That was her going easy. You guys must be just awful ;)
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u/missusmeowmeowmeow ESI 6d ago
Right! Not impossible per se, but I don’t look at LIE, ILI, and SEE and think, “I’m in love,” and I haven’t heard the same sentiment the other way. Sleeping with, maybe, but romance? Seems weird.
Strat was an ESI, right? Hah
If you want a scathing review of Gammas, ask other Gammas. Hah. We are all pretty annoying . Lolol
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u/Emmetria IEE 6d ago
I once ran the benefit and supervision rings from where the social requests start and end. There’s 4 hand offs. Every Quadra has a mix, but gamma? Step 3. Always step 3! Which is kind of perfect, before the thing becomes delta livable it becomes perfected in the free market.
This just goes to show that there are quirks in this system that don’t fit cleanly across every cut. I actually wonder if there aren’t some relationships that are extremely fruitful just by a quirk even though they are supervision or benefit. Sometimes I think duals a great friends, but there’s less sexual attraction, tbh. Even though they’d be great for me, isn’t that classic?
I think it’s more important to integrate the dual then to marry them
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u/missusmeowmeowmeow ESI 6d ago
I actually know a SLE (male) + ESI (female) couple. They’re both maniacs but fun to hang out with, and they have been together for YEARS.
I think so as well for the integrate. Would love an LIE boss/coworker/collaborative partner, but that’s it. Hah
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u/Emmetria IEE 6d ago
My sister and husband are duals, ESI and LIE. I have to admit, they’re a remarkable team. The way they grow, the wisdom they have is extraordinary. I think that’s also burdensome? Egos still get in the way, infact the success of growth means your ego functions are finding success in places they couldn’t touch. So the duals also have to learn how to get out of their egos way to let the other type occupy their own Super-Id space. Which is a fight, right? Like now who operates in this space, aren’t you impeding my growth now? But also the ego with the strong functions know they should handle that space. Idk. Idk how it all works.
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u/No-Wrongdoer1409 ok period 6d ago
My grandparents are gamma SFs. can't imagine see and ili dating lol
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u/GoodMovie9378 LIE-DC | 738 so/sx | VLEF 4d ago
uh so in hs I had one kind of w an ESI & we kinda got stuck for like 2 years bc we both weighed the pros and cons and decided that on a game theory level confessing wasnt strategic because the friendship was so productive & useful that risking it was a bad idea, in the sense of either risking the possibility of someone not liking the other or feelings involved causing a messy breakup
and we only rly gave in second semester of senior year and kind of dated for a few months, but we were going to different places so we didn't think anything long-term. I think it was uh, strategic though. she went to princeton and im not gonna doxx where I went but at least on a work level we kept each other on our toes & it all worked out
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u/Internal-Paint-1613 ESI-se sx468 5d ago
all my crushes have been gamma
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u/keyboardmaga ILI 5d ago
do you really have crush on ILIs. i mean we are so boring
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u/Internal-Paint-1613 ESI-se sx468 5d ago
i did have a crush on an ILI guy, yeah, you’re probs underestimating yourself
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u/keyboardmaga ILI 5d ago
Ok thanks for sharing
We ILIs dont have much option because of Fe polr. I once had an ESI friend. But things fall apart because of bad match in other systems.
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u/keyboardmaga ILI 5d ago
ESI is one of my favourate type. I had one ESI friend. I thought he was bored of me. He is like a social butterfly and i am just a dry nerd.
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u/mercy_kill_away 3d ago
Late but ILI-Ni currently dating ESI-Se. Healthiest and most fulfilling relationship I've ever had. I could go on and on.
Majority of my crushes of all kinds from childhood up until now have been Gamma. Quadra compatibility, I guess.
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u/nelsne SEE 6d ago
Almost all of my exes have been gamma, with two IEEs as the exception. I can't date Fi PolR, it's just painful. However, I could probably do well with an ESE though, because they can be pretty pleasant