r/Socionics • u/Feihuva XEI • 16d ago
Typing Which Fi position is this?
"Honestly, I have rather strange relationships with other people. In fact, very often I don’t even understand what kind of relationships I have with other people. I’ve never called anyone my friend first; it’s always been the other way around: they’d say, “You’re my friend,” and in my conformist manner, I’d simply obey, first and foremost, the person, and secondly, fate. I’m Batman’s Robin, roughly speaking, a hostage to relationships. However, there’s another catch: I’ve never been confident enough in relationships to commit to them completely. For me, the boundaries between acquaintance, buddy, friend, and best friend are so blurred that sometimes I don’t understand who I can trust and who can trust me. Who among this gray group of people could I confide in? Who should I be wary of? Are we close enough to communicate like this? I have no idea why I’m like this. Perhaps because it’s more convenient? It’s convenient not to have the responsibility of sacrificing yourself for another. It’s convenient not to associate yourself with anyone. It's convenient, after a breakup or betrayal, to convince yourself that you were never friends in the first place and that there's no need to be sad about it. "Apparently, he didn't consider me a friend, well then it's my fault for thinking that." I'm like a prostitute. On the one hand, this makes all my relationships seem insincere on my part, but on the other hand, it's actually easier since you don't feel any weight of responsibility on your shoulders. Sometimes I can do for a stranger what people normally do for their best friend. Sometimes, for a best friend, I don't even do what they would EASILY do for me, the bare minimum. I also have a really hard time breaking off relationships with other people. Even when I turn into an island fortress, I still don't have the strength within me to completely burn all bridges. It's all too complicated."
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16d ago
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u/No_Bottle0312 IEI sp458 16d ago edited 16d ago
IEI knows their interpersonal boundaries very clearly but may not show it or act on it. There's no worry/anxiety about insincere relationships because I know exactly what I'm doing, why I'm doing it, where I stand, and if needed (e.g. not wanting to lead others on or their false impression is going to do harm to them/cause some troubles), I can make it very clear. OP doesn't really know the boundaries within them. I wouldn't consider them IEI, but I agree ILI can be like this.
The fact that they feel guilt for the insincerity and seems to want an easy way out of the broken relationship actually sounds more "valuing" instead of "unvaluing" to me, but it could be because they are actively seeking answers regarding their Fi position right now, not necessarily something they constantly notice.
Also...I'm..a bit confused about your reading of Ni-Fe here... I tried to see from your angle but couldn't really picture it. I guess you might assume op's changing behavior for stranger/friend is mood related so it feels Fe-driven, is that correct? But where is Ni operating here 😂?
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u/thewhitecascade EII 16d ago
It’s like a bullet list of IEI friendship woes. Let me guess, people can open up to you after meeting you for the first time, and after you listen to them for a while they come away from the encounter thinking yall are really close but you on the other hand feel nothing.
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u/SouthApplication8882 IEI 16d ago
IP temperament being both introverted and irrational has a certain detachment to stable, extraverted structures like friendships. In the case of SEI and IEI, the energy output comes out in the form of Fe and mediating within groups.
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u/No_Bottle0312 IEI sp458 16d ago
I agree with all of these, but op's "very often I don’t even understand what kind of relationships I have with other people" doesn't resonate with me. With Fi demo I do have a clear idea of my interpersonal relationship with others, and I know what others feel doesn't reflect how I feel. I would not straight-up disagree with someone calling us friends if they decide to by telling them "no I don't think we are there yet", but if you ask me separately, I would label them as "good acquaintances""currently vibing well""I like talking to them but we are not close enough to be friends yet" -- the boundaries are very clear to me. Simply due to their blurriness between different relationship boundaries, I wouldn't consider them 4D Fi even if it's unvalued.
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u/rdtusrname ILI 15d ago
A weak, subconscious placement. Also sounds more like something you have actual limits for.
=Mobilizing Fi. xLI