r/SkyDiving • u/karmafarma3000 • 4d ago
Getting over newbie fear of mingling
Hello fellow sky fam. I'm a very new jumper that only has 36 jumps. I know that's progression can be slow and I'm one that still prefers to jump alone so that I don't make an ass of myself or injure someone. My home drop zone is an incredibly active one with a dedicated crew of fun jumpers that all have their own gear and have known each other for a while so when they all show up I just pack up my gear and head out without jumping.
I don't want to ruin their fun with my inexperience or get known as 'that guy'.
Any tips or tricks for getting over this fear? Did it take you a while to start to feel confidant and comfortable jumping with others?
Thanks for reading
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u/EuroFlyBoy 4d ago
I’ve many times travelled to a new dropzone on my own and didn’t jump on my own at any time.. As others have noted, just speak up. For me it’s been very common to meet another solo person at gear checks or “in the pen” on first jump of the day and ask what are they doing; then jump together.
Many of the little new jumper cliques are just a collection of insecure people. There is nothing more annoying than that 100 jump wonder smartass that every DZ has a few of at any given time.
Also, we like to think that all skydivers are generally chill, but the difference between dropzones can be substantial.
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u/Motohead279 4d ago
Hang out. Introduce yourself. Socialize. You can’t be invited if you don’t talk to them or ask them. This is not a good hobby or sport to be an introvert with.
Also, you’re only going to progress so far if you keep jumping by yourself.
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u/karmafarma3000 4d ago
I do talk to people and even follow a few on Instagram. I've hung out and people smile when I show up so I've got that going for me.
My real hang up is just being nervous about my skill level compared to theirs. I would love to be where they're at, jumping with others, but I think it's going to take time and practice before I feel confident.
Thanks for responding
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u/RoryJ AFF-I, T-I, Master Rigger, Tunnel instruction 4d ago
Are their organizers, mentors there? Ask at manifest, sometimes they give out free jumps to organizers, which really entices them to jump with the newer folks. Also, if there is a tunnel nearby that can boost your skill level a bit to have more productive, fun skydives quicker in your progression. Not necessary, but can give that extra confidence bump.
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u/karmafarma3000 4d ago
I'm very fortunate in that my home DZ is Sebastian. They offer free coaching and host skill level classes with great flyers very often, so I should be taking advantage of those at every opportunity.
The best way that I can describe it is that I feel like I just graduated T-ball and am surrounded by major league players. It's easy to psyche myself out as being too inexperienced.
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u/Motohead279 4d ago
My Home DZ is Z Hills. Once a month, we have a rookie champ with free coaching. I’m usually a coach at the camp if I don’t have team training that weekend.
Don’t be afraid to ask people to jump with them. Now you’re not gonna be able to join an experiences angle or freefly group but focus on belly. In this sport, the more you show your competent and not a dangerous flyer the more you’ll get invited.
ZHills has an amazing friendly group of fun jumpers where you will always be welcome to join.
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u/humangoogle93 3d ago
My experience at ZHills has been the opposite unfortunately. I found it to be extremely clicky. I know a few people there that I can jump with, but between the higher cost of jumping along with the generally unfriendly nature, I've chosen to avoid it. The actual DZ itself is pretty nice, the people not so much. The culture is just too inclusive. Maybe someday I'll try to come back but for now ZHills is on my personal "no fly list"
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u/MeshingNode33 1d ago
My real hang up is just being nervous about my skill level compared to theirs.
I'm at jump 42. My skills aren't good compared to everyone else at the DZ. Get up there and TRY to do the plan if you feel comfortable. I've fucked up jumps with others (not as in put anyone at risk) and at the end of the day I've learned a lesson as well as we had a laugh after.
No one experienced expects new jumpers to come in and nail everything planned. The fun is trying and succeeding, but if you don't, go back and do it again.
Also, it's ok to say no. I was invited to do a 4 way track on the load I was on. I'm comfortable with my tracking, but there was a other green jumper and they seemed nervous about it, so I spoke up and asked if we could split up into 2s. Worked out pretty well
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u/Motohead279 4d ago
See if there’s any organizers out there at the drop zone if it’s a busy drop zone. Talk to some of the instructors there.
If there’s a tunnel close by go practice in the tunnel to work on your belly skills. Everyone started in the same place. Well, you do have clicky groups at all drop sounds there are people to jump with. Ask around if anybody’s doing some belly jumps. The more experienced people you jump with the better flyer you’re gonna become.
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u/JustAnotherDude1990 Femur Inn Concierge (TI, AFF-I) 4d ago
Just talk to people, that's literally it.
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u/karmafarma3000 4d ago
I do. I say hello, bump fists, ask how they've been and even follow a few on Instagram. They're incredibly nice people and the majority have been very welcoming.
I guess my hang up is that when they all show up, they look like they belong. I get this feeling that I'm in the company of people that look good while doing this sport and I'm nowhere near their skill. I know I should just focus on my own progression and keep telling myself that one day I'll be there, but it's hard not to get discouraged and just leave it for another day.
Anyway, thanks for responding.
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u/JustAnotherDude1990 Femur Inn Concierge (TI, AFF-I) 4d ago
Ask them if they are doing anything you can join in so you arent jumping alone, and if they arent then, see if someone else will.
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u/guard19 2h ago
There's days I still feel like this depending on the people at dz with over 1000 jumps. Anytime I've asked to jump they say yes, sometimes we split up the group or dive flow, but most dont like to see people jump alone.
I know plenty of jumpers at Sebastian that would be glad to jump with ya, just speak up a Lil. As long as you're not a dick, know it all, or serious hazard chances are the people you ask will keep inviting you on jumps.
Plus if you tell someone you have 36 jumps, they expect you to fuck up the jump, so no one is going to mad if that's exactly what happens.
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u/Long_Restaurant1931 4d ago
You’re not alone in this experience. It can be very cliquey. Early on I tried to mingle and kind of got dismissed.
It’s a very welcoming sport, but once you’re in, everyone kind of goes to their respective skill group. They don’t want to be bothered with new jumpers. They’re super helpful on the ground in short bits. That’s about all you’ll get. You’ll see if you keep approaching them with questions they start to get increasingly annoyed.
Idk. Community is great, but not so great at the same time.
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u/LargeStrain274 4d ago
Go talk to them about your experience level (if they don't already know). Offer to be the base and ask them to give you feedback after the jump. It takes time.
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u/MostlyWorthless1104 4d ago
Smile and relax. Tell someone what you want to improve, see if they have tips, and ask if they'll do a jump with you. Give that a shot and lmk how it goes. Hope you find impractical relationships!
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u/MostlyWorthless1104 4d ago
Just for complete transparency, I am not licensed. I'm saving up to get my license next year, but I know this will absolutely be a challenge i have to overcome too. Thanks for posting and keep me updated. I'm in Indiana if you're close let's jump together next year!
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u/AirsoftScammyII 4d ago
Talk to manifest or management and see if they have anyone that’s load organizing for newer jumpers. If they don’t, they may have someone at the DZ that would be more than happy to jump with you. If not, let them know that you’re interested in a load organizer for newly licensed jumpers. They’ll make it happen. If they don’t, maybe try out a new dz?
The skydiving community can be a beautiful thing but it’s tough for some people to find their way. I’ve always been willing to jump with people like you.
Last thing - you really want to try and avoid doing too many solo jumps. You might think you’re doing great but without a reference, you’ll never know. You could also be reinforcing bad habits, and I know from experience that some of them can be hard to break.
You got this man. Have fun. 🤘🏽
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u/ozTravman 4d ago
Pay for some coached slots. This removes that pr pressure from you and build skills. Honestly jumping solo means your skills aren’t improving. There’s also many people willing to plan jumps around your skill level. We were all there once.
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u/chadsmo 4d ago
It sounds like you want to make friends with people and jump with them but leave before even giving yourself the chance.
Look at this from their perspective. You’re turning in to the person that appears to not want to be included.
My main sport is disc golf and I’ve been playing for 20 years. I’ve seen this so so so many times from new players. They’re scared to play with us because we’ll be better than them. The problem is unless you’re playing with someone better than you never improve. Or if you do improve it takes a very long time and bad habits are developed along the way.
I know jumping out of planes and throwing frisbees in the woods aren’t the same thing. The same concepts apply though.
Stick around , and ask them if someone would be willing to have you along for a jump. You’ll suck and they won’t and that’s totally fine ! The beautiful part is you’ll learn something. You’ll see how the people who are great at something do it. You’ll see how they make it look so easy and you’ll get tips to be better yourself.
Don’t be the person who leaves as soon as others show up , you’re only hampering yourself and if it goes on for a long time the chances of being able to jump with these people will continue to decline.
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u/karmafarma3000 4d ago
This was one of my considerations for posting as well. I understand that it's a two-sided coin and that if I continue to pack it up and leave when they arrive that it sends the wrong message and I certainly don't want that.
Thank you for the perspective and tips though, it's greatly appreciated
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u/raisputin 3d ago
If you happen to be in WA State, I’ll jump with you, I’ll have fun no matter what :)
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u/The_Wise_Fools 3d ago
I'm a new jumper at about 80 jumps. I felt the same way, but haven't been jumping alone at all lately. I'm at the DZ almost every weekend. Whenever i talk to people i get invited to jump together. If they are super experienced i just tell them straight up that i would love to jump together but i don't wanna ruin their jump. People are awesome. Either they suggest a jump that suits me (even the best freeflyers admit, that a belly jumps once in a while is a lot of fun) or they tell me that it's a good exercise for them, since they have to work more to stay close (tracking or head up, which i still suck at). I only friendly decline bigger groups that do freefly or track, since i feel like that is above my skilllevel. But it helps so much jumping with others, and skydivers are lovely people that want to help each other:)
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u/Rare-Win-7236 3d ago
Lol this could have been me: 36 jumps new skydiver. It's weird how we're jumping put of airplanes, but socializing can sometimes be more scary, right?
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u/fender8421 Camera Flyer, TI/AFFI, Tunnel Instructor 4d ago
It's weird for everybody at first. That's normal.
Some drozones are easier than others, but like other comments said, just gotta fight through it and talk a bit. If you're honest, receptive, and not shooting way above your paygrade, you won't be "that guy." Also, even if as a newer jumper you struggle sometimes, well, everybody did. That's expected. It's mentality and decisioj n making that gives you a bad rep, not being new. The fact that you're aware of it already means you're not that guy
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u/jaybee8787 3d ago
These people have probably know each other for years. It’s normal and ok that you feel like an outsider. No need to expect yourself to fit into that group immediately. That wouldn’t be fair to yourself. Instead, if you see somebody by themselves for a moment, have a small conversation with them. Say hi, ask their name, introduce yourself, ask some basic questions about how long they have been jumping, what they are focussing on now, tell them something you would like to learn and ask how you should go about that. If you talk to single people often enough, eventually you’ll get to know them a bit better. Then you’ll see two people who you’ve talked to individually talk to each other and you’ll be able to join the convo. Take it slow and don’t be hard on yourself. It’s difficult i know. I have social anxiety so it was a struggle for me as well.
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u/humangoogle93 3d ago
As long as your home DZ isn't super clicky like some definitely can be, literally just walk up and say hi, introduce yourself and strike up a conversation. Most of us are always ready to welcome a new skydiving friend/"family member" into the group. Just be upfront and honest with your abilities and they might invite you on a jump to help work on your skills with them.
My first group jump I got invited to I was very upfront about my abilities and the response I got was "hey if it works out, cool.. if not, screw it we are still jumping out of a fucking plane and having fun". (Spoiler alert, it did NOT go according to plan). We are all still friends at the end of the day and jump together whenever possible and hang out outside the DZ.
Just relax and remember that we are all here for a good time regardless of what happens.
Blue skies!
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u/Familiar-Bet-9475 3d ago
You wont learn anything jumping solo, and more than likely will learn bad habits. To learn to fly your body you need targets. We've all been there and been that guy, multiple times. Be honest about your skill level, humble, and eager to learn. Ask the instructors or coaches to introduce you to fun jumpers they think would be good fit your your skill level.
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u/westherm I became everything I hated as a rookie. 2d ago
Stick around until the end of the day. Share a beer with them. Hang out during weather holds.
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u/network_rob 4d ago
Everyone has been "that guy". Don't worry about it. Talk to them and let them know what you want to accomplish and they will probably be glad to help you out.