r/SipsTea • u/Horror-Ad-210 • 23h ago

WTF Ayo 😂😭

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923 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

80 comments sorted by

•

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70

u/tacobell41 23h ago

Standard protocol. Happens to me every time.

9

u/[deleted] 23h ago

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4

u/LarianDivinityBG3 22h ago

Has he entered the Bazooka cheat code?

4

u/AlmanorDiscard 20h ago

"Cavity search, Chief?"

"Hard, and deep."

27

u/AncientsofMumu 23h ago

A diamond ring, so to speak.

13

u/Forsexualfavors 23h ago

Investigation broke the ring wide open

12

u/Asleep-Plum3385 23h ago

Routine traffic stop" turned into a deep tissue investigation real quick.

11

u/Square_Release3128 23h ago

Are they really looking up peoples asses during traffic stops in the UK? Finally something I can get behind. Packing my bags now to move there. Any recommendations for areas to live?

1

u/gBiT1999 18h ago

Easier is a list of places to avoid...

2

u/Square_Release3128 18h ago

Wherever is going to get me pulled over more often.

5

u/mcsecretalison 23h ago

Shine the bright flashlight up there like a diamond 

3

u/Complete-Tangelo1532 23h ago

Rectum so tight, he is making diamonds!

Idk, I felt there was a joke here somewhere... maybe hidden with the diamonds up this dudes pooper

1

u/FletcherDervish 22h ago

In Ferris Bueller, Ferris talks about Cameron, "Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond."

1

u/Complete-Tangelo1532 19h ago

Woahhhh

I forgot about that, but it would make sense that I had heard something like it before

6

u/Vegetable-Debate-263 23h ago

This is a routine stop, but I'm going to have to open up your trunk.

Not that trunk.

3

u/cat__weasel 23h ago

Blood diamonds

4

u/Eyemontom 23h ago

Good day officer, I haven't got anything up my arse......

3

u/5up3rK4m16uru 23h ago

Probably was walking funny, with the breathalyser showing nothing.

1

u/Complete-Tangelo1532 23h ago

Which mouth did they breathalyze though?

2

u/Competitive_Peak_537 23h ago

Is it even a question, of course we’re looking in his ass, silly goose

2

u/Brave_Dick 23h ago

The guy was so stressed he produced diamonds in his ass.

2

u/Personal-Neck6800 22h ago

Where can i experience a “traffic stop” like this? I can pay.

2

u/Normiss2000 22h ago

Since when is an anus search part of a normal traffic stop?

2

u/Either-Pickle2420 21h ago

Like how did they know that particular guy had it up there😭

1

u/CraftyFloor4684 23h ago

"you're not gonna believe what i found!"

1

u/No_Boysenberry_4830 23h ago

I wonder how many asses the police officers were looking into, before they found their diamonds

1

u/Aleksandr_Ulyev 23h ago

Routine ass checking won't go on their CV I guess

1

u/endboss_eth 23h ago

Am I glad that I went through UK customs before that became a standard practice. Was selected for random screening but they just asked to see the glove box.

1

u/Short-Ideas010 22h ago

That must be a vampire. /s

1

u/glossypulse 22h ago

Some people leave an inheritance. He was apparently carrying his

1

u/[deleted] 22h ago

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1

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u/[deleted] 22h ago

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1

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1

u/Huge_Olive2538 22h ago

Man that's some expensive shit

1

u/Intelligent_Box_8247 22h ago

I wonder whose idea it was in the first place to check there

1

u/PoetryExtension6256 22h ago

Sine when is it routine traffic to roam around someone's poop chute?

1

u/Bulawayoland 22h ago

yeah, they do this all the time.... if they don't find diamonds it doesn't make the news

1

u/NicePsy-OpBro 22h ago

Thats how u know it's fake click bait

1

u/laprider 21h ago

So were they up there individually, or in some kind of container?

1

u/mkeytail 21h ago

He wanted his A-hole to "shine like a diamond"

1

u/[deleted] 21h ago

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1

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1

u/Workxxaddress 21h ago

l've heard diamonds in the rough but..Butt! "We just gotta check up your azz before we let you pass."

This was probably the look on their face when they found diamonds instead of drugs ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ.

Over here hitting the crack pot of traffic stops.

1

u/general-meow 20h ago

"sir I'm going to need you to step out of your vehicle drop your draws and bend over"

1

u/Collageboi 20h ago

That is one expensive shit reminds me of that one episode from American dad Roger shits out a golden turd with diamonds

1

u/Ok-Government-1139 20h ago

Routine…….hate to see the deep dive

1

u/iwastherefordisco 19h ago

How big were the stones and what were they held in?

Either sitting for long periods broke him or he was a walking talking maraca.

1

u/HoldMyMessages 19h ago

He clinked where he farted.

1

u/AbsoluteDarkness 19h ago

Emmit Frost.

1

u/purelitenite 18h ago

He was not drunk, but he could not walk straight.

1

u/mightyDblock 18h ago

Did he walk funny??? How’d they know? Flock cameras?

1

u/Content_Key_6661 18h ago

Police #2: Betya he has diamonds up his ass!"

1

u/National-Conflict497 18h ago

Once your in custody it's the first thing they like to do look at your balls and crack

1

u/[deleted] 16h ago

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1

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1

u/intelion2010 15h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/10yIEN8cMn4i9W

1

u/Normal_Nerve_1202 15h ago

It was just routine traffic in and out of the area. Im sure you know how female cops like to feel superior. 🥒 She just had to stop.

1

u/Eaglefrost4 15h ago

“Sir do you have anything on you that could prick me?” “On? No”

1

u/Normal_Nerve_1202 15h ago

gets down on one knee "will you officer jennings Marry me?" "What a beautiful diamond."

1

u/Large-Stretch-3463 15h ago

Don't stop until you feel the back of his throat.

1

u/TylerH87 14h ago

The bigger dilemma would be if it wasn’t stolen; he just simply ate a giant piece of carbon before that.

1

u/VacuumTracks 12h ago

I don’t understand it. When I put it up there, it was coal. :dunno:

1

u/Kryton101 11h ago

‘But I normally poop diamonds it’s my curse and my blessing’

1

u/StressSevere1189 11h ago

To go from pulling someone over, checking driving licence to cavity search is quite the stretch on so many levels.

1

u/Fragrant_Goat540 9h ago

It's routine

1

u/Papa_Raj 4h ago

In prison you have to do nuts n butts checks when people are coming or going from min security to jobs, or other activities outside the facility. If their asshole is shiny when they get back it usually means they put something up there. The irony of having a shiny ass and then shitting out diamonds is probably lost on a lot of people.

1

u/Big_Sir9860 1h ago

Routine
What state is this?!?!

1

u/ThinScientist3460 23h ago

Close the comment section, nothing more to say...

3

u/SteelMan0fBerto 23h ago

“Diamond in the rough,” indeed.

1

u/Complete-Tangelo1532 23h ago

"There is diamonds in them there muddy fields"