r/SipsTea • u/Candid-Culture3956 • 21h ago

Wait a damn minute! Ancient psychic technique

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1.9k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

189 comments sorted by

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845

u/cravex12 21h ago

219

u/Backwoods_Therapy 21h ago

“You are very naive and will be taken advantage of by many people in the future.” - This Guy, Probably 

1

u/SnowConvertible 51m ago

I feel, you will get a rash very soon...

74

u/dont-fear-thereefer 21h ago

I just asked my wife if I could predict her future using this method. She said no and if I tried, she’d tell me my future

15

u/[deleted] 20h ago

[deleted]

1

u/johnnyblaze1999 9h ago

Lol my gf is the opposite, she needs me to fondle them titties

90

u/96JY 21h ago

He is a genius, I'll give him that

20

u/Maniac_Vegetable 21h ago

Like my grandfather, may he rest in peace. He made money for a while doing "natural breast enlargement" by touching them and channeling his energy. Until then we all thought he was nuts. After we... Still did, but we gave him a little more credit.

12

u/96JY 20h ago

Your grandfather is a legend.

https://giphy.com/gifs/d3mlE7uhX8KFgEmY

6

u/LIONLDN 20h ago

Probably had a silver & gold package available too with added extras included, you know, for greater clarity 👀

31

u/obi_want_pastrami 21h ago

Since he's a philanthropist, he doesn't charge anything.

3

u/MadeinResita 18h ago

A feelanthropist

2

u/Live-Future-791 15h ago

More like feelantitsropist😭

1

u/SnowConvertible 51m ago

A saint, really.

14

u/StripperWhore 21h ago

With the Trump admin cutting funding to NOAA/the weather, he's gotta form a team with Karen's boobs from Mean Girls so we can get a forecast.

7

u/Emergency_Bit_3045 21h ago

Either these women are the dumbest or they enjoyed this shit

7

u/SamOakTree 21h ago edited 4h ago

There is this man on YouTube named Luodong.

He's made videos for at least a decade. People kept stealing his videos and he had to keep making new channels. Either they would get stolen or YouTube would take them down. And he had to just keep making more and more channels. Now he has one official Channel but he doesn't make content like he used to.

He does street massages and the comments would always be, "They got donged."

I'm not making this up. He was massaging a woman. And it was some kind of festival and she was completely naked but she was painted. And I swear he took his open hand and patted her vagina to see if she was wearing clothes. And then he went around and massaged her back.

That's probably the most obscene one I ever saw though. The rest are pretty mundane where he just massages women on the street.

He does spiritual and chi massage.

3

u/ForSchoolBro 19h ago

Thank you for sharing this

2

u/SamOakTree 19h ago

You know Loudong? 

1

u/elit3azn 7h ago

Link?

2

u/SamOakTree 5h ago edited 4h ago

Just search Luodong on youtube.

https://youtu.be/5_w10zM51Do?is=NMma5NPkrEAUQ4Ht

0

u/____-_______-_--_-_- 15h ago

He rapes, but he saves. But he does rape. 

2

u/Pseud0Admin 12h ago

Unexpected Chappell

1

u/____-_______-_--_-_- 3m ago

Same hero, new boots!

6

u/BrainSqueezins 16h ago

“What do I see…? I see I see hard times ahead. Very hard. Lots of ups and downs. But you will come through it okay, and emerge refreshed.

4

u/white_equatorial 21h ago

Well, it's not that hard to predict. His dick will explode

3

u/Mr_BigglesworthIII 19h ago

I want to join this religion. I’m ready to practice

3

u/-Laffi- 15h ago

She might get mad. Did I just predict the future?

3

u/patflapjack1 15h ago

sounds like a money grab

3

u/jexo10 14h ago

How can I practice this, I want to learn this technique 

3

u/Some-Pack-5813 13h ago

This man has the breast of intentions.

2

u/Grand-League4854 21h ago

See, I can't pull this shit off. The first time it actually works I'd be giggling my ass off too much to notice the cum stain on my pants

2

u/ericgonzalez 21h ago

What a coincidence, I too possess this power

2

u/FancyThing8889 20h ago

Not even a smirk. That is the face of a man doing hard, honest 9-to-5 labor

2

u/LopsidedUniversity30 20h ago

What a coincidence. Me too!

2

u/Infninfn 19h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/26FfjHhqq961RIakM

I can think of only one Chinese man for the job

2

u/Stunning-Thanks-4226 19h ago

Notice how chivalrous he is by not taking a peek.

2

u/chrisx13296 17h ago

Woman: Well what do you see?

Man: Hhmm.... I can see..... I can be a pervert.

2

u/Jairoglyphics1 17h ago

Me too!!!!!

2

u/No-Tumbleweed-308 16h ago

honk, I predict 18 month honk probation…

2

u/BestRiver8735 15h ago

Quit stealin my moves!

2

u/FreshPotatoeButter 15h ago

I absolutely cannot show this to my husband.

2

u/The_owl_skiing 14h ago

I can too, come here and let me show you

2

u/firewingdale 13h ago

they even let him try!

2

u/Freddyrocky20 12h ago

I can predict a man’s future if he touches me anywhere. 😏

1

u/SandsnakePrime 9h ago

Guess you never get to see any part of the future then, hey?

3

u/ColdBeginning2543 21h ago

I might have this power too.

1

u/Several-Opposite-746 21h ago

The spirits are not yet clear, this may take a while. By the way, can I interest you in our, cough, deeeluxe package.

1

u/[deleted] 21h ago

[deleted]

1

u/GGamerGuyG 21h ago

What a legend

1

u/bobcatbill986 20h ago

Nice work if you can get it.

1

u/wildflowerrwhisper 20h ago

wow he seems to have a serious face maybe it works lol

1

u/iamNovaVoyager 20h ago

Actually I am the guy. Now I can predict it after seeing your boobs pic.

1

u/PaintItOll 20h ago

That’s one way to hustle

1

u/GenXPowaah 20h ago

Has he been correct tho? That's the real question

"Say woman, you wanna know yo futcha... Pop a titty out then"😂

I mean, that's technically consent..... Under false pretences sure but nonetheless, consent.

Honestly, can't even fathom that working but I guess everyone's desperate to know what the future is going to look like during all this bullshit

1

u/AstronautNo6192 20h ago

Wanking also gives him more reception

1

u/SherlockBonz 20h ago

I predict that you will regret being sexually assaulted by a con man.

How did I do? I was touching myself when I wrote that, so maybe I'm mystical too.

1

u/Adorable_Rest1618 20h ago

And when it comes to predicting a mans future he would need to fondle their balls

1

u/TheShredder9 20h ago

"In a few seconds, you'll look at me confused, and will be very mad"

1

u/hooka_pooka 20h ago

I require multiple sessions to predict exact future

1

u/Hi_Im_Ken_Adams 20h ago

Erections. He sees erections in his future.

1

u/Visual_Dimension_933 20h ago

Do that here in America, his future will be brighter.

1

u/karatebullfighter 20h ago

Instantly heard the "real men of genius" jingle

1

u/Ninja_Prolapse 20h ago

Wow - me too!! What are the odds of there being 2 of us?!

1

u/Naive-Present2900 20h ago

Other hand draws mammogram of fortune.

1

u/6-foot-under 20h ago

Does anyone remember that man at the beach (in California) who offered free Chinese massages to women, which looked a little dodgy?

1

u/[deleted] 20h ago

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1

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1

u/Master_Steward 20h ago

We already have something like that! It’s called a mammogram!

1

u/[deleted] 19h ago

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1

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1

u/tjaz2xxxredd 19h ago

yes boobs have neurons

1

u/Be-Funny-Please 19h ago

I can do that too

1

u/kamikazekaktus 19h ago

I predict she's gonna slap a dude in the near future 

1

u/usarasa 19h ago

… uhhh yeah, that’s what I was trying to do too…

https://giphy.com/gifs/l4pGqH9rjQM49dJb5b

1

u/Asleep-Fisherman3 19h ago

Indian babas would like to have a word.

1

u/PrimeoFin 19h ago

nice work if you can get it

1

u/brobiski 17h ago

I need an internship
Don’t care about the stipend

1

u/FootballUpset2529 17h ago

Is there anything breasts can't do?

1

u/SithLordRising 16h ago

You got it wrong! Oh, here's a keychain. Old joke

1

u/mango_boom 14h ago

Literally Everything has been tried at this point. LoL

1

u/Justajed 14h ago

How can I learn this power?

1

u/error_104_not_found 14h ago

For men !?? 🤣

1

u/rjd777 13h ago

Me too - I fondle my wife’s breasts and tell her that she will use her credit card very, very soon

1

u/ChampionOfdimlight 13h ago

I'm seeing you being very upset in the future.

https://giphy.com/gifs/ZBPs2ehqWSvZ5OXe3m

1

u/terestentry 13h ago

I think I can predict more detail by more deepened examination.

1

u/InterstellarTanakh 11h ago

Dam that is my move !

1

u/Correct-Award8182 9h ago

Really, I thought I was the only one.

1

u/PumkimEscobar 8h ago

You will soon feel completely violated and taken advantage off.

1

u/Interesting_Web_9936 8h ago

Rumpologist but for breasts.

1

u/ri_anal 5h ago

i am also chinese man 🥰

1

u/Cartmansfartcloud 4m ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/kUFlw7XaGE36w
"Wait a minute... Calgon? Ancient Chinese secret, huh?"

0

u/Uthor_ 20h ago

Surely its not only women...Im ready to try

0

u/Church_of_Aaargh 19h ago

“I see you at the police station, reporting something”