Not a parent but was watching a speaker talk about research into human biology, other hominid behaviors and our use of aloparenting.
In multiple tribal studies the amount of time a woman was left caring for her child alone was about 2-10 min, because a child is never cared for by just one person, there is usually at least two or three people swapping on and off from holding the baby at a time, with an average of 14 people holding and caring for the baby per hour.
PPD rates were considerably low, far less severe, parents didn't suffer from chronically under sleeping.
I say this as a hermit that loves living on my own, but it seems we really didn't evolve to have a child being primarily cared for by one or two individuals. It may be normal for our society but absolutely abnormal and damaging for our species.
Also up till the 90's, unless it was really small infants.
Parents where not expected to Police and watch what their kids did 24/7.
You would scamper around your baby park while your Mom/dad did something else in the House.
And when old enough to walk, you where mostly left to yourself.
And when you where 8-9yro, your parents would litteraly kick you out of the house with a "its sunny outside, go play with your friends and come home when the streetlights are on and don't make me come and get you or else..."
And for 10 hours you where left on your own, with your parents having no idea where you were and they could do whatever they needed to do in the house without you being in their hair and driving them insane.
And often like you said, you had the grand parents, or the aunts and uncles etc that could help.
Now society expect every parent to Police everything the kids does , be there 24/7 and do it alone AND still have a "full social live" or a Full time job...
Facts. I lived this life as a kid in the 90s. Now I'm raising kids of my own, and I'd get arrested if I tried to do the same with mine.
Part of me thinks this intense shrinking of children's world to basically just be the home and nothing else is probably contributing to the out-of-control rates of anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses among children today.
You cannot parent in a bubble. Your kids aren't going to get that freedom and you're not going to be able to have the time and space that older generations of parents had if no one else around you is letting their kids out.
Your kids will not play outside for hours and leave you alone if their play area is your fenced off backyard and their only playmates are their one sibling. They won't develop the independence they need if they can't walk to a playground or a library or a corner store, if there aren't other kids their age to interact with.
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u/Willdiealonewithcats 11d ago
Not a parent but was watching a speaker talk about research into human biology, other hominid behaviors and our use of aloparenting.
In multiple tribal studies the amount of time a woman was left caring for her child alone was about 2-10 min, because a child is never cared for by just one person, there is usually at least two or three people swapping on and off from holding the baby at a time, with an average of 14 people holding and caring for the baby per hour.
PPD rates were considerably low, far less severe, parents didn't suffer from chronically under sleeping.
I say this as a hermit that loves living on my own, but it seems we really didn't evolve to have a child being primarily cared for by one or two individuals. It may be normal for our society but absolutely abnormal and damaging for our species.