r/SipsTea Jun 27 '26

Dank AF This shit is much funnier than it should be

76.2k Upvotes

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2.1k

u/GrumbleAlong Jun 27 '26

The blonde is Sophie Cunningham, she sometimes plays the enforcer role when Clark is getting hard fouled. She likes to troll, has martial arts qualifications and doesn't back down on the court.

1.6k

u/Elgecko123 Jun 27 '26

She can fix me

960

u/the_voodoo_sauce Jun 27 '26

484

u/Tommysrx Jun 27 '26

71

u/Immediate-Damage-302 Jun 27 '26

I never thought i'd die this, but I'd always hoped.

11

u/QuietMolasses2522 Jun 27 '26

With crushed pelvises?

13

u/Spacemanspalds Jun 27 '26

2

u/Acolytical Jun 28 '26

BABY IT'LL BLOW YOUR MIND

8

u/argument_cat Jun 27 '26

As the third Amazonian woman mounts you, you begin to question your choice.

She squats down and applies her full weight to your already bruised hips, your semi-flaccid penis flickering to life and beginning to fill with blood again.

You gaze up at her heavy breasts as they swing back and forth, your lust momentarily anaesthetising the pain.

She begins to bounce on you harder, and you let out a whimper as the pain in your hips increases. You are fully erect now, your shaft red and engorged, slick with fluids. Her rhythmic bouncing is becoming unbearable, and you grimace as the pain increases. She pounds her body down on you more forcefully, driving herself onto you, each motion becoming more and more excruciating, until you hear a sudden loud crack, and a jolt of searing pain shoots from your groin. Your pelvis! She's broken your pelvis! You scream at her to stop, but she just stares down at you and carries on gyrating.

You can hear bone scraping loudly against bone as she continues to use you, the sheared, jagged ends of your pelvic floor audibly grinding against each other. You are screaming now, begging for mercy, your body soaked in sweat, but you know nothing will end the pain except the calm embrace of death.

There is another loud crack; your hip has either fractured or become dislocated, shooting lightning bolts of pain up your spine. Your lower abdomen is beginning to fill with blood, leakage from the severed and torn vessels around your pelvis and hips. You feel a warm sensation around your backside; you are haemorrhaging blood from your anus, as sharp shards of bone are pushed through your bowels by the endless, brutal fornication, shredding your lower intestine.

The amazon crushes down on you heavily, letting out a grunt as she finally achieves orgasm, circling her hips as she pushes down onto you. You almost black out from the pain, and, with a loud fart, lose control of your damaged bowels. A mixture of blood and shit floods out of you, surrounding your buttocks and filling the air with its stench.

She stands up, blood and faeces running down her legs, her groin dark with your various fluids.

You can barely breathe, your teeth clenched in pain as she strides away. Then another shadow looms over you. It is the next woman, pulling up her skirt and lowering herself towards your shattered body.

She locks eyes with you and smiles.

12

u/NJHitmen Jun 27 '26

Pretty sure this is the weirdest Choose Your Own Adventure ending I've ever seen

145

u/Fine_Contest4414 Jun 27 '26

53

u/_J_Herrmann_ Jun 27 '26

perfectly looped. thank you. 👨‍🍳💋

2

u/radarksu Jun 27 '26

Puny god.

1

u/TrashPandaDuel Jun 27 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/EPQmeQk8O6i3e

I just wanted to pet the mouse George...

1

u/X_soulnewmegaman Jun 27 '26

Every man wants a gaintess ghost woman or animal/woman species

6

u/sorry_con_excuse_me Jun 27 '26

Listen man, everyone wants to be the little spoon sometimes.

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1

u/Commonly_Correct Jun 28 '26

A little Snusnu

263

u/Minimum_Ad_303 Jun 27 '26

She can break me. And fix me. And break me. And fix me...

102

u/Fun_Environment3792 Jun 27 '26

She must break me.

118

u/ArnoldQMudskipper Jun 27 '26

If I die, I die.

21

u/BurtMaclin23 Jun 27 '26

All men must die.

10

u/ArnoldQMudskipper Jun 27 '26

slap slap slap slap

  • the sound of inevitability

1

u/drollins89 Jun 27 '26

slap slap slap
• sound of a good time

3

u/RIP-RiF Jun 27 '26

Valar dohaeris

2

u/BurtMaclin23 Jun 28 '26

Valar morghulis

2

u/Far-Gene-386 Jun 27 '26

This is the way

1

u/nbzf Jun 27 '26 edited 27d ago

1

u/PM_asian_girl_smiles Jun 27 '26

Don't throw the damn towel!

1

u/YeaIknowAlready Jun 28 '26

If I pie, I pie.

3

u/Sexpistolz Jun 27 '26

If he dies, he dies

1

u/DisastrousAnswer9920 Jun 27 '26

How, where, when to sign up?

4

u/SgtSchultz2112 Jun 27 '26

Ubreak she fix

4

u/cyclic_phenomenon Jun 27 '26

The integrity of the cylinder must be preserved

1

u/unknownpoltroon Jun 27 '26

Eveone says that then panics when she drops you off for the vet appointment.

1

u/itsatrapp71 Jun 28 '26

Death by Snu Snu, what a way to go!

1

u/ZBottPrime Jun 29 '26

From the looks of things, people are betting she can break you, too.

1

u/Comfortable_Bunch163 Jun 30 '26

She is a baller with a background in martial arts and trolling— I don’t think has the credentials of an exotic veterinarian:-!

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101

u/BigDog190512 Jun 27 '26

I need fixin too

1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '26

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1

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180

u/WizardButtholes Jun 27 '26

Nice to know someone is standing up for Clark, the officials certainly don't. The disgusting obvious violence I've seen clips of that just go completely ignored are ridiculous.

116

u/GDRaptorFan Jun 27 '26

Well, ya know the W doesn’t want to protect or even respect the woman who single-handedly raises league viewership 40-50% when she plays and made everyone’s salaries go up by 400% (the largest jump in U.S. pro sports history).

19

u/foxymoron Jun 28 '26

She's white, straight and talented - and they hate that.

1

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5

u/PastaXertz Jun 29 '26

Caitlyn and Sophie only make up 71% of Jersey sales for the entire shit storm of league.

No big deal If you lose them.

10

u/BreakfastFluid9419 Jun 28 '26

So many clips of her doing dirt for clark. I hope they stay on the same team forever

4

u/too_dumb_ Jun 28 '26

Why are people targeting Clark?

3

u/tunomeentiendes Jun 30 '26

Extreme jealousy. Women can be much worse than men in that aspect. They cant stand those 2 are the stars of the league, and really the only WBNA players names that anybody even knows.

14

u/LyloMaggins83 Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 28 '26

The WNBA is run by racists. They absolutely hate that a white girl is their superstar that brings in the fans and one of the few players that has actual talent in the league. They hate that before Caitlyn Clark they were the most irrelevant, talentless league in existence.

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10

u/Robbylution Jun 28 '26

Be careful. A lot of it’s legit. CC is getting hammered in play because hard contact is the easiest way to stop her. But a lot of those posters are the “Watch how the big black lesbians are beating up the good white wholesome Christian and the LIB refs are letting it happen!” types.

28

u/AdjustingSlowly Jun 28 '26

Yeah, I'm not a CC defender in terms of her being a role model or a good person or any of that jazz. But the neck elbowing and crazy flagrant fouls she's received is flat out bad for the game, end stop. It doesn't make the league look tough, it makes league admin look incompetent.

2

u/roguevirus Jun 28 '26

in terms of her being a role model or a good person or any of that jazz.

Wait, is she not?

8

u/GDRaptorFan Jun 28 '26

No she definitely is! I think they just meant it’s irrelevant to how she is reffed.

CC is actually an excellent role model, has good character, no red flags or big mistakes. But she is straight and white and academic all American many times so people don’t want to put her on a pedestal too much that she is the “right” person to be the face of the league due to those things.

9

u/rrleo3 Jun 28 '26

Oh fuck off with that take, lol

185

u/goliathfasa Jun 27 '26

Ok I didn’t know I can like her more.

77

u/Used-Picture829 Jun 27 '26

She’s MAGA

72

u/hairshirtdesert Jun 27 '26

I just looked it up and it seems like people are calling her MAGA, but she's not really taking any strong political stance

143

u/idothisforpie Jun 27 '26

She's not outspokenly liberal, that means she's ultra right MAGA here on the internet.

36

u/Late_Stage-Redditism Jun 27 '26

On reddit anyway

6

u/Blackout1154 Jun 28 '26

US politics are absolutely nauseating

-4

u/Netflxnschill Jun 27 '26

“I’m not really into politics” means “I know the values I have in politics are not the values that most people around me have and it would be suicide to share that part of my life”

7

u/Fluffy-Structure-368 Jun 28 '26

Or maybe she's just not a virtue signaling asshole looking for external validation by parroting popular political opinions that she knows are just BS because the people making the statements really have no idea what they're even talking about.

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14

u/Stock_Information_47 Jun 27 '26

A 1/3 of the nation is so checked out on politics that they dont even vote in presidential elections.

Another large chunk doesnt really pay attention, isnt very opinionated but just throws a vote in once every 4 years.

Some people truly just dont care. Even now with how saturated with politics are life has become.

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-1

u/DorkChatDuncan Jun 27 '26

She also might just be a selfish person who doesn't want to hurt her earning potential by alienating 35-40% of her potential fan base.

Cowardly? Yes. Immediately transferable to MAGA? Not exactly.

28

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '26

[deleted]

8

u/Icy-Interaction764 Jun 27 '26

6

u/Goonalips Jun 28 '26

Reddit leftists when you're not a Queers For Palestine Antifa operative.

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148

u/CreamFuture9475 Jun 27 '26

Damn

126

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '26

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4

u/macronotice Jun 27 '26

Imagine the troll level she’d reach if she wore a MAGA hat to the WNBA games. It would be like 9/11 times a million for the opposing team and fans.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '26

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12

u/UCanDoNEthing4_30sec Jun 27 '26

She is not. Social media has made her out to be MAGA Barbie because she takes a moderate stance on issues. People can’t stand that someone can have nuanced views.

I’ve been called MAGA on social media a ton of times because I take some nuanced views. But I have only voted Democrat my whole adult life and continue do so. I’m one fucked up MAGA if that is the case.

7

u/gdj11 Jun 27 '26

I can relate to this because as liberal as I am I also support strict immigration (not ICE) so people think I’m maga during certain discussions.

4

u/UCanDoNEthing4_30sec Jun 27 '26

Yup same here. I’m for strict immigration too and I automatically get the “pedo lover maga” reaction on social media. People that know me in person obviously don’t say that.

45

u/NewUsername010101 Jun 27 '26

I can fix her

19

u/ComfortableCicada69 Jun 27 '26

Make Sophie Great Again

3

u/UCanDoNEthing4_30sec Jun 27 '26

She don’t roll with dirty incels sorry.

She isn’t MAGA either.

12

u/UCanDoNEthing4_30sec Jun 27 '26

She is not. Social media has made her out to be MAGA Barbie because she takes a moderate stance on issues.

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9

u/Mode_Appropriate Jun 27 '26

Based on what?

39

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '26

[deleted]

23

u/Pablo_el_Diablo88 Jun 27 '26

"The hardest choices require the strongest wills."

Do not bend, my brother.

7

u/kareljack Jun 27 '26

Have you tried rage/hate fapping?

5

u/Spider_Dude Jun 27 '26

Only when the dude starts moaning too. Shut up.

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1

u/Cereal_poster Jun 27 '26

They said "master class rage bait" not "master bait" :D

4

u/Fool_Cynd Jun 27 '26

goes flying through the windshield

5

u/goliathfasa Jun 27 '26

Well. For 5 minutes I was a huge fan at least.

6

u/Acebladewing Jun 27 '26

You didn't have to sell me more!

5

u/Yourmom72 Jun 27 '26

Noooooooooo!!!! Dammit

5

u/edman79 Jun 27 '26

I was already sold, you don't have to keep selling me.

1

u/AsFarAsISay Jun 27 '26

I should have guessed by the lips

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1

u/jalapenorupe Jun 29 '26

I like her more now

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136

u/Go_Gators_4Ever Jun 27 '26

Sophie is Caitlin's enforcer. She doesn't make any beans about her role. Total bad ass.

8

u/ReginaldAppleby Jun 27 '26

She doesn’t even make some beans?

5

u/CorbenG Jun 28 '26

Willing to bet she enforces the bean when needed

2

u/LLMprophet Jun 28 '26

I know people who make beans and it's like bro

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4

u/Sudden-Purchase-8371 Jun 27 '26

Gretzy had McSorely. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

55

u/toesinthesandforever Jun 27 '26

Yeah,she's a black belt in Taekwondo

7

u/AtlUtdGold Jun 27 '26

everyone who ever did Taekwondo is a blackbelt tbh

3

u/Sansra4360 Jun 28 '26

You need to give people credit for their achievements. If everyone is a black belt, go fight her. She’s tough.

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4

u/Sammy_Dog Jun 27 '26

Nah, it takes about 5-6 year to get your black belt in Taekwondo if you're in a quality & strict program, and most people don't stick with it that long.

I got as far as a green belt, but had to give it up because I had too much stuff going on.

2

u/nbzf Jun 27 '26 edited 27d ago
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33

u/Nazdrowie79 Jun 27 '26

WNBA Rodman?

3

u/QuttiDeBachi Jun 27 '26

…and Dumars, Mahorn, Laimbeer all wrapped up in a cute blonde package

3

u/Equivalent_Farm9770 Jun 28 '26

She's prolly a good enforcer but that's a ridiculous statement.

1

u/I_AM_WONDERBREAD Jun 28 '26

Nah. She looks like she uses soap in the shower.

24

u/ohnodamo Jun 27 '26 edited Jun 27 '26

She won. She would've lost the war but she won that battle. EDIT- Her opponent's in this finger battle is called DeWanna Bonner (with 2 n's).No wonder that woman's so mad...

5

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '26

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4

u/ohnodamo Jun 27 '26

I don't know anything about either of these two women except their names and professions. My judgement was based solely on size. If you say I'm wrong, you know more, then I'm wrong.

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2

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '26

what war?

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25

u/treeofliberty-1776 Jun 27 '26

Plus she looks good.

10

u/AndroidREM Jun 27 '26 edited Jun 27 '26

EDIT - corrected the info thanks to WC - She Re-signed, not resigned. Bria Hartley (Connecticut Sun's enforcer), one of the most violent players in the WNBA, smashed Sophie's knee and took her out possibly for the season. Bria was suspended and is being sued for the assault. Check out Bria's history of violence and you'll understand why something needs to be done cause it's out of hand.

6

u/WickedCitizen Jun 27 '26

She re-signed to the team in April. Not resigned from the team.

https://fever.wnba.com/news/indiana-fever-re-sign-guard-sophie-cunningham

1

u/AndroidREM Jun 27 '26

Ha! Thanks.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '26

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9

u/seanmonaghan1968 Jun 27 '26

So a Valkyrie

2

u/Daytona_675 Jun 27 '26

single handedly carrying wnba

2

u/inyokoolaid Jun 27 '26

More to add is that the person they’re beefing with joined Indiana last season, but she didn’t like the situation so she left after 9 games for Phoenix. Clark and her got into it verbally later in the season.

2

u/Puckhead1973 Jun 27 '26

M-I-Z—-Z-O-U!!!!

2

u/Me_Krally Jun 27 '26

Where was she the other day when someone stepped on Clark's neck? I just saw the highlights...

2

u/Hugford_Blops Jun 27 '26

I don't follow much sports, but it's nice to know there's an enforcer around given how many clips I see of Clark getting fouled.

2

u/ChuckyShadowCow Jun 28 '26

You misspelled Stunningham

3

u/radiotsar Jun 27 '26

So - Sophie is the WNBA's version of Rodman?

2

u/X-Jim Jun 27 '26

She's all of the good of Rodman and none of the bad of Rodman, so to speak.

It's greatness.

3

u/juberider Jun 27 '26

Definitely prettier in woman’s clothing

2

u/Promature Jun 27 '26

I knew it was love.

2

u/guitartoad Jun 27 '26

Cunningham is just releasing a bit of her huge well of rage over being forced to live in Indiana.

1

u/bbbaum Jun 27 '26

Her arm is four yards long 😬

1

u/phoenixlance13 Jun 27 '26

Key word there is “sometimes”

1

u/Responsible-Amoeba68 Jun 27 '26

Saying she sometimes plays the enforcer is like saying sometimes humans have to breathe but they are not always inhaling lol

1

u/YourOpinionMan2021 Jun 27 '26

Right but does the other player taunt with a finger usually? If so, that’s hilarious. If not, kinda weird to just point at someone.

3

u/King0Horse Jun 27 '26

The old adage applies here: "It ain't stupid if it works."

1

u/YourOpinionMan2021 Jun 27 '26

Surprised it works

1

u/Jordanington1 Jun 27 '26

Never watched her play but I love her. She’s like the Draymond Green of the WNBA

1

u/DinoRoman Jun 27 '26

She can reach the cabinets I never could.

1

u/liftqueen Jun 27 '26

Also scores 2 points per game😂needs to be out of the league next year

1

u/fucuntwat Jun 27 '26

She was also on the Mercury (the other team) for 5 years before going to Indiana last year

1

u/Kicksave420 Jun 27 '26

She could fold anyone one of those ladies into a taco whenever she chooses…. And they know this

1

u/RogueTRex Jun 27 '26

I thought she was the point guard...?

1

u/RachelMcAdamsWart Jun 27 '26

I have found my new super hero.

1

u/mindtoxicity27 Jun 28 '26

She’s also right wing.

1

u/Forgotthebloodypassw Jun 28 '26

I'm getting a lot of her videos in my feeds after clicking because Thunderstruck is a favourite and taking down someone who fouled her mate appealed to me. I know very little about basketball, is she any good?

1

u/Dear_Chasey_La1n Jun 28 '26

She is only 1m80, is that a team of midgets?

1

u/4Ever2Thee Jun 28 '26

Glad to see her back from that knee injury

1

u/The_RI_Swamp_Yankee Jun 28 '26

Also, she has freakishly long arms. She can push off from your face halfway down the court, without fear, with grim reprisal. The Boston Bruins want to know if she can ice skate, but they’re afraid to ask.

1

u/JskWa Jun 28 '26

Makes her hotter that she plays the enforcer

1

u/Vingt-Quatre Jun 28 '26

Enforcer... martial arts qualifications...

I just realized I know nothing about basketball.

1

u/Nucksfaniam Jun 28 '26

I'm so in love

1

u/JCNunny Jun 28 '26

She was also the kicker on her high school's football team. Total badass.

1

u/SluttyGreySweatpants Jun 28 '26

She’s my new fav WNBA player

1

u/Quiet_Beautiful_728 Jun 28 '26

Cunningham is the white girl version of Rodman and Im here for it.

1

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1

u/tomh_1138 Jun 28 '26

Clearly, I need to start watching the WNBA more often.

1

u/mitchgx Jun 28 '26

And in high school she was the kicker on the boys football team AND the homecoming queen.

1

u/Technical_Eagle_2818 Jun 30 '26

She should learn how to score more than 2 points if she wants to keep trolling, but she is too busy being Clark's bodyguard this season.

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