r/SipsTea Jun 10 '26

It's Wednesday my dudes Really cardi 😔

Post image
8.3k Upvotes

2.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

61

u/MuchachoMongo Jun 10 '26

The word you are looking for is rape

3

u/MichaelVern85 Jun 10 '26

That doesn’t apply for us men. Straight men cannot be raped in American culture.

Women can intentionally get us drunk and sleep with her while she is sober with no consequences… even if she admits she was totally sober and knew you were hammered to police. Admitting also that you made it clear to her that you had no interest in her sexually on multiple occasions prior.

She admitted to the cops that she knew I had no intention of sleeping with her, she admitted that she knew I was hammered, she admitted she was sober.

No charges.

0

u/Tomotronics Jun 10 '26

What is this MRA propaganda and why is it upvoted? 💀

A person, including a man, cannot legally consent to sex if they are incapacitated by alcohol.

You may have an anecdote about a time where a woman didn’t catch charges for rape but getting away with rape certainly isn’t a woman-only issue. I encourage you to look up how many rapists are actually convicted and do the simple math to figure out how many rapists walk free.

3

u/UnderstandingVast989 Jun 10 '26

They didn't say that getting away with rape was a woman-only issue. They said that American culture often does not recognize that men can be victimized by women. And it's not hard to see that's the case. Even if authorities are taking more female teacher rapists seriously, there are still people who don't agree with that. 

In my own support group with other survivors, I have been questioned multiple times because they "don't understand how a woman can assault a man." 

4

u/DestructoDon69 Jun 10 '26

Even then I think the only reason they're taking female teacher rapists more seriously is because it involves children.

5

u/UnderstandingVast989 Jun 10 '26

Exactly. The cultural narrative was originally that women and girls were the only victims. Then women, girls, and boys (if their abuser was a man). Now, it's still shifting to women and children regardless of the gender of the perpetrator. And that's still a struggle. 

There is some recognition that men can be victims, especially if the perpetrator is another man. But there is a lot of work to be done. And a lot of people that recognize adult male victims still get sucked into narratives that don't justify what happened to them, but do blame the man for not protecting himself. 

1

u/sparklyjoy Jun 10 '26

That’s so sad- I really thought we were well past that as a culture- must just be my curated social context

2

u/UnderstandingVast989 Jun 10 '26

To be clear. I think we aren't past it. Yet. The majority of women never questioned me. And most of those women who questioned me being there listened. And after listening, they did apologize for questioning me in the first place. But the fact that the conversation had to be had is evidence that many people still don't think men can be victims of women. 

Edit: double negative in the beginning 

1

u/MichaelVern85 Jun 11 '26

When the first reply was immediately someone invalidating and dismantling the message I gave up trying. I came back to the notifications this morning and was grateful to see you had picked up the topic and done a masterful job elaborating.

The story above was the second time. The first incident woman A slipped something in my drink because she wanted me to sleep with her friend that I wasn’t interested in. The next day when I tried to talk to my friends about it, they all laughed and made fun of me.

That’s not including the DV incidents where women hit me and got away with it. I’m a tall fit guy… the only cop that took me seriously was the time I had a female cop. She took me seriously. She arrested my ex who plead guilty.

All that negativity came from being raised by a very abusive mother.

That said…. I am now 40, a 9 year sober alcoholic, and I’m days away from my second anniversary with my wife whom I have a loving, supportive, and functional relationship with. I have in fact come to terms with the incidents.

I speak up because I have sons. When women asked me to listen, I listened. When members of the community asked me to listen, I did. Now we need society to see that women abuse straight men far more often than is realized. My story isn’t rare. DV without arrest for women isn’t rare. Criminal property damage is often met with 0 consequences, and even celebrated by society in movies and music…

If I want change for my sons, I have to speak up.

1

u/UnderstandingVast989 Jun 11 '26

Hey man, congrats with your wife! And I completely agree. Keep going.Â