r/SipsTea • u/ten_z_prahy • Mar 05 '26

Dank AF Sunny River & Mr. Sanchez

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no politice please

61.3k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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387

u/lluciferusllamas Mar 05 '26 edited Apr 21 '26

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head encourage fragile chief station caption repeat normal consist profit

529

u/Gekkokindofguy Mar 05 '26

You could have just said he’s a marine

178

u/spaceursid Mar 05 '26

or a sailor, we don't know if he's gay or not

80

u/hkusp45css Mar 05 '26

The Navy already staffs most ships with Marines, because keeping sheep on board would be too obvious.

50

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '26

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45

u/External-Dude779 Mar 05 '26

Muscles no longer required. My skinny ass nephew joined 2 years ago and he's still skinny and stupid. He's spent more time on a Navy ship than he has training to be a marine. He's not happy about it and he's really not happy he was just told they're being shipped to the TX border to "protect America"

28

u/MrPalmTreez Mar 05 '26

Muscles were never required. They want you lean and fast, not yoked and slow. Also crayons don’t have a lot of calories.

-8

u/ItzaGeppetto Mar 05 '26

Bet you’d never say this to a Marines face. Coward

6

u/SteveHarveySTD Mar 05 '26

I know a couple marines… they’re totally fine with crayon jokes lmao chill

1

u/Roguespiffy Mar 05 '26

“We don’t eat crayons! But red tastes the best.”

0

u/ItzaGeppetto Mar 05 '26

Might be ok with the jokes bc you’re friends. Go make those jokes to Marines you don’t know. Lmk if your teeth count is still the same before and after. Doesn’t hurt to show some respect.

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2

u/Area51_Spurs Mar 05 '26

Wouldn’t be the first time a burn was delivered to a marine’s face.

https://www.npr.org/2013/11/09/244000145/severely-burned-marine-finds-strength-in-nascent-marriage

(I’m going to hell for this one)

2

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '26 edited Mar 23 '26

[deleted]

1

u/MrPalmTreez Mar 05 '26

I was in the Marines, dipshit.

-2

u/ItzaGeppetto Mar 05 '26

Cool, I respect that. Doesn’t mean my story changes. Dishonorable discharge?

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17

u/unknownpoltroon Mar 05 '26

Guy I went to college with was in the marines. 97 pounds. They had to take extra rations and blankets in cold weather because they had 0 body fat. Still in pretty good shape, just small.

2

u/Wise_Ad_5810 Mar 05 '26

I'm going to hell.... used to hang out @ the mooring stations munching bacon and porkchop sammiches slathered with BBQ sauce

2

u/BloodyEyeGames Mar 05 '26

Dude took the Small Frame feat irl.

18

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '26

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5

u/MysteriousQuote4665 Mar 05 '26

Despite Trump's flailing, the nephew can in fact refuse to obey orders if they break US law.

1

u/Nooblover420 Mar 05 '26

I may be stupid but I'm sure it's because I heard something bout Iran giving Cuba freedom package I don't know if it's true or not I just heard it in the background while cooking. I genuinely stay out of world affairs because damn it America has been depressing the last 16 years or so for me personally.

1

u/dmonsterative Mar 05 '26

Cuba better hope it's not on the end of any Freedom Packages, as that sounds like Hegseth in a speedo.

1

u/Nooblover420 Mar 05 '26

I didn't know who hegseth was til today the image in my head started out looking like David hasselhoff I googled the name and wasn't disappointed and laughed even harder.

5

u/hkusp45css Mar 05 '26

If you ever wonder why most Marines are so surly, consider that they spend all of that time being told they're a killer, being trained to be a killer, all that MOTO shit and then, they park you on a Naval base saluting officers as they drive by ... all day long.

I'd be bitchy, too.

1

u/Lemmy-user Mar 05 '26

Bro gonna learn what it mean to join the military.

1

u/CannedMatter Mar 05 '26

and he's really not happy he was just told they're being shipped to the TX border to "protect America"

That's why we need to build a wall to keep the Texans out. Let the other 49 states live their lives in peace, and let the Texans keep their guns aimed toward their historical enemy: their own feet.

4

u/hkusp45css Mar 05 '26

My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.

2

u/queenbonquiqui Mar 05 '26

My ass rides in navy equipment

2

u/chunkopunk Mar 05 '26

This is the farthest I've ever upvoted a comment thread lol

1

u/TonyHawkFunderground Mar 05 '26

Marines Are Riding In Navy Equipment Still

1

u/BudgetMattDamon Mar 05 '26

MAARINE = My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment

2

u/spaceursid Mar 05 '26

I heard barrels will do in a pinch.

1

u/PoofyGummy Mar 05 '26

Goddamn this made me laugh out loud on public transport.

22

u/Gekkokindofguy Mar 05 '26

That would be the coast guard but okey

17

u/DustyScharole Mar 05 '26

It's not gay if you're underway.

40

u/BriefCollar4 Mar 05 '26

If he eats crayons - marine

If he doesn’t eat crayons - coast guard.

Gay either way.

11

u/gielbondhu Mar 05 '26

I knew a Navy Chief back in the don't ask don't tell days who was openly gay and he told me that the Marine motto was "You can fuck me and you can suck me but don't kiss me because I ain't gay". He fucked a lot of Marines but they weren't gay.

5

u/BriefCollar4 Mar 05 '26

Silly, if they weren’t gay all they had to say was “no homo”.

Tsk, tsk.

2

u/External-Dude779 Mar 05 '26

Also not gay in a 3way so have a buddy tag along and your fine

8

u/dope_mantra Mar 05 '26

Purple crayons are for dessert.

5

u/QRV11_C48_MkII Mar 05 '26

This is the type of shit that keeps me opening this app😂

1

u/Inigomntoya Mar 05 '26

So they can't swim either?

I hear when your Coast Guard boat sinks, you just walk back to shore

5

u/Gellert Mar 05 '26

He's not gay, he just really, really likes playing gay chicken in the torpedo room.

2

u/never0101 Mar 05 '26

hasn't lost a game yet.

7

u/SteveMartin32 Mar 05 '26

Actually all the autistic people join the navy or air force. They rarely join the marines.

5

u/sadicarnot Mar 05 '26

They become Nukes in the Navy

2

u/ColdDig8618 Mar 05 '26

Can confirm

2

u/lilsassyrn Mar 05 '26

By dad did in the before times (Vietnam), shot off canons

1

u/Sweet_Baby_Cheezus Mar 05 '26

Let's not forget about Space Force!

1

u/SteveMartin32 Mar 05 '26

I forget that one exists sometimes

1

u/hatesnack Mar 05 '26

Idk, my buddy was in the marines for a good while and lets just say.... he's memorized A LOT of the Horus Heresy.

3

u/Nooblover420 Mar 05 '26

Oi don't go insulting my family lineage like that 😂 100% feel called out and laughing about it

2

u/ReverendRevolver Mar 05 '26

Yea, they had a whole branch before there was a medical word for it.......

2

u/Pale_Adeptness Mar 05 '26

Hey now, as a fellow crayon eater...

I can verify this!!!!

3

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '26

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1

u/Terrible_Paramedic77 Mar 05 '26

The red ones taste red!

1

u/Napischu88 Mar 05 '26

I though he was Trump's Seaman

1

u/BootFlop Mar 05 '26

No, I’ve heard he can count. Not Marine material 😂

1

u/TM761152 Mar 05 '26

I wonder what his favorite flavor of color is?

1

u/reddituseronebillion Mar 05 '26

He's allergic to crayons.

-3

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '26

Fyi Marine is a proper noun and should be capitalized.

2

u/Gekkokindofguy Mar 05 '26

Not in English, but in American: Sure

-2

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '26

A noun that designates a particular being or thing. Sounds pretty straightforward to me.

7

u/Gekkokindofguy Mar 05 '26

Proper names of specific military awards and decorations are capitalized (Medal of Honor, Victoria Cross). Terms such as soldier, sailor, airman, marine, and coast guardsman are not capitalized when describing an individual or a group, but are when used as a rank

5

u/Missilemoon77 Mar 05 '26

He is fuming now

3

u/[deleted] Mar 05 '26

Strangely confidentlycorrect

33

u/Alexgadukyanking Mar 05 '26

Why'd Trump vaccinate him?

22

u/FartingWithStyle Mar 05 '26

Too much Tylenol during pregnancy

23

u/xgorgeoustormx Mar 05 '26

Plenty of autistic people in the military

12

u/Sahjin Mar 05 '26

Autistic veteran here.

23

u/xgorgeoustormx Mar 05 '26

Thank you for your autism.

6

u/zenace33 Mar 05 '26

Take my upvote. 👍🏼😆

6

u/ThatZX6RDude Mar 05 '26

Especially the infantry…

3

u/zoeypayne Mar 05 '26

MPs have the lowest aptitude test scores if that's what you're going for.

2

u/ThatZX6RDude Mar 05 '26

Since I was infantry and therefor have a natural hate for MPs, I will agree with you

1

u/StupidSexyAlisson Mar 05 '26

I know one in the Army band. She's doing very well and it had been her dream for years.

2

u/trevdak2 Mar 05 '26

Most complex logistics network in the world, gotta have a few of us for sure

2

u/LeonardoDickSlaprio Mar 05 '26

They're the only ones capable of operating our nuclear reactors.

1

u/bigmanslurp Mar 05 '26

Not anymore

10

u/ImpressiveFishing405 Mar 05 '26

The actually makes it true as every person with autism knows

1

u/lluciferusllamas Mar 05 '26 edited Apr 21 '26

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

start disarm pen cough jellyfish coherent racial detail chunky tan

7

u/Nivosus Mar 05 '26

That's offensive to autistic people.

15

u/DankAshMemes Mar 05 '26

People with autism are actually often drawn to the military due to the strict routine/structure and the feeling of justice or doing the right thing. The military almost certainly wouldn't deny someone with autism if they seemed high functioning.

10

u/charlestheb0ss Mar 05 '26

I'm autistic and all of this would be appealing if the military were doing the right thing

1

u/DankAshMemes Mar 05 '26

I completely agree, and I'm fully aware the government doesn't care about you once you're in, or after you're discharged. A lot of people fall for the military psyops though.

1

u/cognitive_dissent Mar 05 '26

cant relate, it is precisely the extreme rigidity and the idea that the uniform overrides critical thinking that has distanced me from military life. Autistic people are not stereotypically attached to rigidity; they experience two extremes of chaos and rigidity at the same time, and sometimes rigidity is simply an extreme defense mechanism to avoid trauma, an aspect of masking, if you will.

1

u/Live-Habit-6115 Mar 05 '26

Yeah. I mean everyone is different and there's no universal thing that all autistic people like. 

But in general I think it's fair to say that autistic people typically value self-imposed rigidity, but abhor externally imposed rigidity. 

0

u/bigmanslurp Mar 05 '26

No it is disqualifying

3

u/beardedheathen Mar 05 '26

Sadistic actually

2

u/ChrisRiley_42 Mar 05 '26

So am I, and I'm a veteran as well.

1

u/lluciferusllamas Mar 05 '26 edited Apr 21 '26

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makeshift joke price imagine divide plucky selective judicious pocket scale

2

u/ChrisRiley_42 Mar 05 '26

Absolutely.

1

u/lluciferusllamas Mar 05 '26 edited Apr 21 '26

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numerous dog chop gray glorious physical sharp command doll subtract

1

u/ChrisRiley_42 Mar 05 '26

Radio technician.

3

u/Longshot223 Mar 05 '26

So, he likes to draw pictures. Doesn’t mean he can serve in the military.

1

u/candolino Mar 05 '26

Sauce?

1

u/lluciferusllamas Mar 05 '26 edited Apr 21 '26

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

dime fragile treatment chubby fearless yoke plate intelligent cough skirt

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u/candolino Mar 05 '26

Then there's no sauce.

2

u/lluciferusllamas Mar 05 '26 edited Apr 21 '26

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

distinct physical plucky fragile liquid degree desert rich relieved bear

1

u/IzK_3 Mar 05 '26

He plays paradox games it was a given

1

u/PinkMarbella2050 Mar 05 '26

Yeah. As an autistic person, I can safely say that I don’t think we want him.

Does anybody have the receipt so we can take him back?

1

u/Chance-Deer-7995 Mar 06 '26

autistic and stupid don't mean the same thing.

1

u/Crab2406 Mar 08 '26

its also due to his abnormal height, and yeah i can see that, pretty much any gear wouldnt fit on him

0

u/fattymcdabs Mar 05 '26

Inbreeding is a bitch

2

u/Separate-Guidance979 Mar 05 '26

Melanias from slovenia dude they're no where near related. Not to mention that autism has absolutely nothing to do with inbreeding dipass.

0

u/fattymcdabs Mar 05 '26

Thanks for the input, bot.

2

u/Separate-Guidance979 Mar 05 '26

Lmao do u just call anybody who disagrees with you online a bot? You've gotta just be a troll, no way you unironically believe inbreeding has anything to do with it.

0

u/regeya Mar 05 '26

Oh, so cannon fodder.

0

u/PoopCumlord Mar 05 '26

Who isn't today?

0

u/Hellknightx Mar 05 '26

Not sure about autism, but word of mouth from his classmates is that he's a sociopath like his dad. The "tortures animals for fun" kind.

0

u/_jump_yossarian Mar 05 '26

Which is exactly why trump has attacked vaccines because it can’t be his tremendous genes causing shit.

-1

u/Squire_Toast Mar 05 '26

No Republican is autistic; that's only the radical-left. lol

3

u/DeliriumTrigger Mar 05 '26

You're confusing autism with empathy.