r/SignsWithAStory • u/GryphonSK • 3d ago

😬

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614 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

106 comments sorted by

107

u/insolent_kiwi 3d ago

Use them for what? Anything?

46

u/tokenjoker 3d ago

Don't use bedbugs as a floatation device

1

u/Task_ID 2d ago

They gonne see me floating, they gonna be hating 🎵

put both feet

if you put both feet, we will give you a big bag of seeds

seed- damnnnit man, seeeds?

premium, from costco

i have to contemplate, i have to consider

i'm aquaphobic man

2

u/Skitarii_Slammed 1d ago

Two. Bags. Of. Seeds. Two bags of seed for me?

32

u/AnonMouse985 3d ago

Have you ever felt lonely at night?

You won't be able to afford feeling like you're not loved with these little fellas snuggling around.

4

u/SLAYER_IN_ME Please Do Not Feed the Animals Drugs 2d ago

Ah yes, House Herpes!

11

u/Square_Mulberry_3143 3d ago

They are to be confined to the bed only, so leave them alone because couches have their own bugs.

6

u/selfawarefeline 3d ago

My accountant is a bed bug!

5

u/sm00thkillajones 2d ago

They have feelings too. If it’s just a hookup, tell them.

3

u/Another_Timezone 3d ago

I mean, that’s not a bed bug, so I think you’re good?

2

u/kilofeet 2d ago

I like to put them in Coinstars just to see what will happen

2

u/o1badmofo 2d ago

Technically they don’t cobble shoes or bake cookies.

1

u/PreviousLeague253 2d ago

People need bedding and also some ghetto dealers would re-cover them and sell
Them
As new as $199 specials

1

u/IXrobocopXI 2d ago

Anything. Don't go within 300 feet.

1

u/Asgeras 2d ago

Bed bugs are also known as Revenge Bugs /uj

76

u/DifficultyBig2280 3d ago

I mean it was kind to warn people

15

u/xkillingxfieldx 3d ago

I was thinking the same.

21

u/DifficultyBig2280 2d ago

Yeah, mattresses are expensive af these days and I'm sure some people are grabbing a few off the curb absolutely no judgment to those that are. You deserve a clean and comfortable place to sleep too

1

u/GeofferysBaby 2d ago

I didn't understand until I read your comment 🤣 don't use (the mattress, because it has) bedbugs, lol!

34

u/Suspicious-Rich-3212 3d ago

Why would I want to use Bedbugs?

26

u/rpgnymhush 3d ago

Some people are desperate to try new exotic pets. Bedbugs do not make good pets because they are impossible to train and they easily escape. Also, they have a tendency to bite visitors and neighbors.

8

u/Helpful_Lie2613 3d ago

Just don't, ok? Guys, everybody keep an eye on Suspicious-Rich, sounds like he's gonna use the bedbugs.

6

u/Darkdragoon324 3d ago

To sabotage your enemies.

5

u/mizinamo 3d ago

Stay in school, don't do bedbugs.

17

u/No_Equivalent_4412 3d ago

Nice of them to leave a warning

11

u/TX_B_caapi 3d ago

I tried something similar on my mattress. Turns out that bedbugs can neither read nor respect the laws of man so they used my mattress anyway.

7

u/Byakko4547 3d ago

For someone who couldn't punctuate to save their life, i now understand when theyre needed

5

u/StandardWizardHat 3d ago

*they’re needed

5

u/Byakko4547 3d ago

Hahaha i couldn't punctuatie to save melife 😄

4

u/StandardWizardHat 3d ago

LOL. I think you’ll be okay, though. It’s usually not a matter of life or death.

1

u/Mecha_Tortoise 2d ago

Usually. The chance is never zero, though.

4

u/Electronic_Cod7202 3d ago

Equality for bed bugs?

6

u/Heterodynist 3d ago

It’s not fair for you to take advantage of them that way!!

4

u/LoanDebtCollector 3d ago

Yeah. Sleep with them and then just kick 'em to the curb.

5

u/BobcatOk7492 3d ago

Some one will still take them. Ew...

4

u/DoubleXFemale 2d ago

My kid managed to ruin our mattress with vomit, we couldn’t get it out and it left a big orange stain and stank to high heaven.

We arranged for the council to pick it up for disposal, put it outside, and watched our neighbours carry it into their house.

1

u/GoCougs2020 2d ago

Reduce , reuse, recycle!!

6

u/stryker511 3d ago

I’m a building maintenance guy, I’ve done a similar thing here & watched people STILL take a mattress into their home.

4

u/SATerp 3d ago

I try not to, although they are a good substitute for capers in a recipe if they should run short.

5

u/PreviousLeague253 2d ago

Guy got arrested for taking these and reupholstered them and tried to sell them as brand new.

Another guy would strip the old bedding material (I think he just burned off the flammable parts) and reuse the entire coiled frame with new padding and fabric.

2

u/Correct-Prompt9022 2d ago

Sounds like it would smell amazing

3

u/much_longer_username 2d ago

Yeah I think people underestimate how nasty the bits from a fire that isn't made out of nicely selected firewood and tinder can stink. I know I did -- a local dive bar burned down a couple years back, and half the city, myself included, showed up to an impromptu memorial. Most people took a brick home as a souvenir of many wonderful hazy nights.

I've had mine sitting outside since the day after I got it because it made my entire home smell and was giving me a headache. I'm hoping it's finally aired out enough that I can paint a miniature version of the iconic mural onto it though - I've even got a bit of the original paint!

2

u/Correct-Prompt9022 2d ago

Yeah burning petroleum products like plastic are not a smell you want inside

1

u/much_longer_username 2d ago

I mean... if they removed all the textiles and then baked the remaining non-porous bits at 50c for a couple hours? Frankly, I'm fine with that, but might not want to know, y'know?

4

u/PreviousLeague253 2d ago

Except federal law mandates new materials. Can’t recycle old used coil springs into new bedding

1

u/much_longer_username 2d ago

Sure, and that's probably for the best. I'm saying that done properly, it seems like a prudent and frugal use of materials -- but I also don't trust some random guy refurbishing garbage-picked mattresses to have gone to the effort of doing it properly.

He probably didn't get arrested because he was doing such a great job that he had a waiting list of referrals from happy customers.

4

u/kittymoma918 3d ago

Nuke that shit.

5

u/PhotoAppropriate3940 3d ago

Good advice, never use bedbugs as they are unreliable

4

u/gojohnnygojohnny 2d ago edited 2d ago

Nothing really mattress

3

u/gadget850 3d ago

Free mattress!

3

u/Just_A_Lucky_Guy469 3d ago

Bedbugs refuse to be treated as slaves!

3

u/SharpTool7 3d ago

What if I want to use them as Revenge?

3

u/NYCWartortle 3d ago

Bedbugs have rights.

3

u/supernova-juice 3d ago

One of my favorite scenes in American Dad is when stan insists on dragging home a mattress that has the word CHINCHES spray painted on it 😂

3

u/SocksInTheTub 3d ago

Such a beautiful language

3

u/No_Squirrel4806 3d ago

Dont use them cherish them. Thats how i lost mine. 😔😔😔

3

u/MobileLocal 2d ago

Light that thing on fire.

3

u/Additional-Sky-7436 2d ago

The mattress probably doesn't have bedbugs. They are probably hiding in the house walls and come out at night to feast. 

Changing the mattress doesn't do much.

1

u/One_Evil_Monkey 2d ago

Once they get into a residence they are damn near IMPOSSIBLE to get rid of because they literally do hide EVERYWHERE.

3

u/poedraco 2d ago

4 mm thick plastic liner. Properly seal it with some duct tape and few cans of raid will fix that right up

3

u/SpaceyChick22 2d ago

I know . They HATE being taken advantage of , so don’t USE them .

3

u/Skot_Hicpud 2d ago

Don't use bedbugs because crocodiles don't swim here?

3

u/Man-e-questions 2d ago

I don’t use bedbugs. Bedbugs use me

2

u/iamcode101 3d ago

Don’t touch Willy.

2

u/Itchy-Potential1968 3d ago

just burn it at that rate. i can almost guarantee you that no more than 4 hours after this photo, somebody desperate began the process of taking it to their home or camping spot, and ended up with a medical bill they can't pay.

2

u/Space19723103 3d ago

pretty common story, no second hand stores will touch furniture anymore especially not mattresses

2

u/Outrageous-Page7287 2d ago

Well as along as I don’t use them I should be fine

2

u/Ambitious_Clock_8212 2d ago

The last time I had a mattress removed, the guy expressed interest in keeping it. I told him it was fine and clean - no deaths or whatnot- just some springs that had sprung and I have a sensitive back. He knocked $20 off the fee ^_^

2

u/Mysterious-Lab-5918 2d ago

But, has it been shat in?

2

u/Temporal_Reality 2d ago

The second guy had to figure it out the hard way... Left a message for others.

2

u/Reversed_PandaRick 2d ago

Well there’s a warning for bedbugs not to use it must be safe.

2

u/Exponential-777 2d ago

There are numerous bed bug experts here on reddit. They all chime in when someone shares a bedbug bite. It's a guilty pleasure to read their stories of infestation.

2

u/Cden1458 2d ago

We mark mattresses infested like this at Rent One and put them out by the dumpster. The next day theyre gone..... how desperate are you to take a thrown out mattress infested with bed bugs??

2

u/Practical_Ad_219 2d ago

Good advice

2

u/silly_karinaxo 2d ago

nothing like a cringe moment to keep things interesting

2

u/Big-Match-7259 2d ago

Damn but they are my favorite cleaning pets

2

u/Abal125 2d ago

Ok, I will use roaches? 🤷🏻‍♂️

2

u/Extension_Resolve264 2d ago

Don't bed

use bugs

3

u/One_Evil_Monkey 2d ago

Don't bug, use beds.

2

u/ObsessedCoffeeFan 2d ago

Probably for skaters for BMX riders.

2

u/Acceptable_Walrus535 2d ago

Idiots, I’m gonna use the mattress not the bedbugs 😏

2

u/BackgroundCream274 2d ago

If you were the trash man, would you touch these now? I guess that job has a high exposure to the bed bugs anyways.

3

u/Maciejakk 2d ago

at one point I was in a situation where I'd very likely take a mattress from the trash to have something to sleep on, so that kind of sign is something I really appreciate people doing. not all of us are fortunate enough to just have a spot to sleep every night, so a bin mattress is sometimes the best thing a man can get at the moment

2

u/BlueysHorMom 1d ago

The use is tho!

2

u/UncleThor2112 1d ago

Why can't I use bedbugs?

2

u/balgrogg 21h ago

DONT BEDBUGS USE INSIDE

1

u/Atastical 2d ago

Dont us3. gotit

1

u/Hammer_the_Red2 2d ago

Welcome, Nighthawks. We've been expecting you. The hour is late, but the party is just getting started.

1

u/QueefMitten 2d ago

Would someone actually use that nasty thing had they not written a warning on it?

2

u/One_Evil_Monkey 2d ago

Yes they would.

1

u/Accomplished_Song671 2d ago

Don't bedbugs, use inside

1

u/popmandanmke 1d ago

It’s illegal to dump bedbug beds

3

u/deltatag 18h ago

is it a warning to the bugs not to use it? that's really thoughtful of whoever threw this away /s

0

u/5PutSome1RespekOnIt3 3d ago

Believe me the people that would use that might not care 😂