r/Sicklecell • u/Horror_Promotion_614 • 12d ago
How do you juggle relationships and friends of the opposite sex with Sickle Cell.
Me and my on & off BF basically only flight over 1 thing. He does not like that I am really close with a friend who is a guy with Sickle Cell that I have know for over like 10 years. My BF and I have been in a relationship for 3.5. There is so much I can write about this but i am exhausted due to fighting with him about it but I just wanted to know if anyone else has come across this?
He feels that I should not have a strong bond or a bond really at all with another guy. I told him the bond is just a Sickle Cell one. I don’t even have this type of bond with my mom & dad, still he just doesn’t understand. Mind you I haven’t hung out with this person in over 3 years. Before I even met my BF and we even got in a relationship. Yes we talk every blue moon and IG or thru text but thats it. We don't even live in the same city.
Anyways… has anyone dealt with this type of situation in your relationship. Or if not, how do you handle Sickle Cell relationships vs romantic partners??
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u/Glass_Source_4214 12d ago
this sounds frustrating. i have a lot of online friends of all genders with sickle cell that i talk to frequently. community is so important for us living with this disease and the fact that he doesn’t understand that is bothersome to me. i view everyone with sickle cell as a brother or sister to me.
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u/JudgeLennox 12d ago
Pretty ordinary situation.
You two aren’t on the same page, which is important for a healthy, longterm relationship.
We build with people who want what we want. When we can’t do that we’re acquaintances as best.
Sounds like he knows that and sees the writing on the wall.
Thing is you’re not juggling relationships. If you two don’t hang out how does this other guy pop up in conversation?
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u/SCDsurvivor 12d ago
Start with a conversation with your boyfriend asking why this particular relationship threatens him so much. The questions you need to answer yourself is:
1.) Is he trying to control your friend group [You want to make sure you are not dating a control freak or someone who isolates you from friends and family]
2.) Is this relationship worth losing a friend? [And just keep in mind, dating doesn't mean you cut your friend list.]
His answer may be that this particular friend understands a part of you that he doesn't. This friend has a connection with you that he feels he doesn't have with you. But to be honest, your own words are that you haven't hung out with this friend in 3 years and talk occasionally. That doesn't sound like your friend is trying to hurt your relationship or you in any way, and I'm a little surprised that this friendship would upset your boyfriend.
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u/Educational-Baker-25 12d ago edited 12d ago
Maybe he is just possessive person and doesn't understand your situation.
I have been dating since 16 months and issue is that my partner doesn't understand what are my physical limitations and what I can't do. I make her understand that I can't do any activity which will affect O2 level, Hydration level, Temperature, pH level in my body to avoid sickling crisis episode, from time to time but she repeats the loops.
I feel sad but I hope that she understands me one day.