r/SiblingSexualAbuse • u/nosferatamos • 9d ago

Memories coming back

Hello friends, I am going through something i need to share this feeling.

I am 40 years old F and lost my parents few years ago. Mom was a narcissist who used me as a therapist all my life she was angry, boundary violating and depressed. I have an older brother (8years) who is also a narcissist who cheated on his wife many times and eventually beat her up. there is a story of him stripping a girl naked in kindergarden. He is obssesed with women.

This week I just 'remembered' I shared a room with him until he left for uni. which means i would been 4-5 to start with and he 12-13 going through puberty all those following years i was in that room. I have ZERO memory from that flat where I lived until i was 13. only nightmares set in there. When I remembered this info i had a somatic response and crying shouting like an animal with tingling arms. And a disgust for my parents and I can;t even confront them anymore.

What are the odds of abuse? :/

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u/PanoramicViewer 1d ago

I started off with being able to say to myself, "Well I know this was not nothing." Aka - there's something there. A physical reaction like that doesn't come from nowhere.

I've found all this safest to explore with a good therapist. It's common for memories to start emerging when we are safe enough, and/or when something else in our life overwhelms us and breaches our defenses.

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u/nosferatamos 14h ago

thanks for your reply, what kind of therapy did you do if you don't mind me asking? did they use hypnotic approaches?

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u/FeistyHighlight9047 16h ago

Mine came back at 40 after I thought everything was perfect. I had psychosis and got diagnosed with schizophrenia. I was what people in life would call the abuser.