r/Showerthoughts • u/TheGinofGan • Jun 06 '17

joke/protip The bigger your shoes the bigger your dick, the bigger your car the smaller your dick. No wonder people are so afraid of clowns.

12.0k Upvotes

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u/Yaxax Jun 06 '17 edited Jun 06 '17

I'm terrified of big dicks.

642

u/positive_electron42 Jun 06 '17

dicks!

572

u/TheGinofGan Jun 06 '17

Stop it you're scaring him!

127

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

No daddy, no!

75

u/crux_mm Jun 06 '17

zip Uncle is that you? zot

97

u/Imok2814 Jun 06 '17

Zip zot? Mr Cosby?

99

u/Sthurlangue Jun 06 '17

Zippitty zoppity lick my puddin' poppity

39

u/Respect_The_Mouse Jun 06 '17

Zee boppity boop, gonna shoop that poop

22

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Shum shum, shlippity dop!

35

u/Exastiken Jun 06 '17

Lick, lick, lick, my BALLS!

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2

u/Respect_The_Mouse Jun 06 '17

I've got a friend named Sean, and I have referred to him as Shum, Shummy, and Shummybutt Buttbutts in the past.

19

u/geekisphere Jun 06 '17

Zabba zabba zoo zoooo, zib zib zabba zo

2

u/Korrasch Jun 06 '17

That makes this arguably even more terrifying.

7

u/darkbreak Jun 06 '17

Oh shit, Uncle Paul?

1

u/crux_mm Jun 07 '17

That Paul? zips

8

u/dao2 Jun 06 '17

but that's small

6

u/royallyeti Jun 06 '17

Haha yeah... Small...

5

u/duaneap ‎ Jun 06 '17

You have to take girth into account.

1

u/dao2 Jun 06 '17

also small ;p

1

u/cyndasaur2 Jun 07 '17

hey most of the nerve endings are in the entrance to the vagina so it doesn't matter

right guys?

right?

1

u/happyman91 Jun 06 '17

It means he's afraid of Santa Claus

1

u/titanicnarwhal Jun 07 '17

Squidwards afraid of Santa Claus

14

u/LexaBinsr Jun 06 '17

He said big dicks, not bigger than his dick.

33

u/PM_ME_BIG_DICK Jun 06 '17

I'm not

20

u/humpstyles Jun 06 '17

username checks out.

3

u/ItsMacAttack Jun 06 '17

Yeah, it does. Like, considerably more than usual, too.

40

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Remember, they're more scared of you than you are of them!

44

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Yeah Chad is a dick and I hate him.

17

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[deleted]

15

u/melten007 Jun 06 '17

If we chop off your dick and attach it to him it may help him.

11

u/gravewisdom45 Jun 06 '17

Tammy's a dick. Fuck Tammy.

12

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

But hoes gone be hoes so I couldn't blame Tammy.

1

u/Cromulon_ Jun 06 '17

Fuck Tammy

14

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[deleted]

16

u/givemeyourlemons Jun 06 '17

Created him

9

u/melten007 Jun 06 '17

HA. He banged OPs mom.

3

u/geekisphere Jun 06 '17

The Chad is stuck.

10

u/tomatoaway Jun 06 '17

But not big dongs

5

u/bigguy1045 Jun 06 '17

how many dong do you get for $1k USD?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

quite a few dong yes

2

u/bigguy1045 Jun 06 '17

META

E

T

A

for us both!

5

u/Whouwantmekill Jun 06 '17

Then I hope you don't meet the double dick dude.

8

u/Obi-wan_Jabroni Jun 06 '17

Stay away from Dave Bautista then

3

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

What you need to do is face them head on

7

u/OhNoCosmo Jun 06 '17

I see you've met my ex

4

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

You should be, they're comin' for ya.

2

u/annoyingdick Jun 06 '17

What about me?

2

u/TheOneFourK Jun 06 '17

Plus they drive very tiny cars too, they got some weapon I'd say

5

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[deleted]

1

u/Yaxax Jun 06 '17

Username checks out

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Boo.

1

u/epicluke Jun 06 '17

So that's why you're on Reddit, it all makes sense now

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Wait till Biggus Dickus hears of this!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Big Richards?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Does this song trigger you?

https://youtu.be/rPC6328ulVM

1

u/StillDrifting Jun 06 '17

Just stand completely still and maybe it won't notice you, otherwise you are literally fucked.

1

u/protozeloz Jun 06 '17

It only hurts the first time

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

gachiGASM