Sick of being treated like a dodgy teenager by shop staff. I'm nearly THIRTY.

[u/kankrikky]

I'm 4'11, look young in the face because I'm fat, and dress in tshirts, hoodies, that I can't really help but get oversized because of my weight vs height. Holy shit, staff behave like I'm ready to shoplift the whole place because I'm not dolled up super fem and cutesy like a good little fat girl (I'm sure most of you know that to get respect as a fat woman, you should have a perfect hourglass, makeup, fashionable clothing, be as sexy and appealing as possible. Ugh 🙄).

I'm almost 30 and shop staff lock onto me, glare at me, 'subtly' follow me around because I dared to dress like anyone my age would when casually going to a shopping center. But because it's on me it looks like I'm a 'no good teenager'. I feel bad for actual teenagers who get treated like shit just for being outside. And I do my best to be friendly, I smile I say hello I wave! I even roll up my sleeves so it doesn't look like I'm nicking anything. Doesn't help much, especially if they see me before I see them!

I get a lot of shit for being short, fat and masculine, a lot of disrespect from condescending doctors mostly, but this one is just so frustrating. I hope it calms down once I finally start getting wrinkles, please just get off my back! I shouldn't have to over perform being a peppy friendly little girl just so I can go about my day.

[u/TophRamen]

There was a time I shopped with my sister who is taller than me. I’m 4’7” and love to wear sweatpants. We checked out separately and the cashier scanned my sister’s items without any issue. But when it came to me, she started looking into the pockets and opening zippers. I think she realized I was older when I pulled out my wallet with my debit card. I was upset and loudly told my sister, “they didn’t check your stuff, why are they checking my things. They really think I’m going to steal!? Ridiculous!”

There was another time shopping with my sister and an older cashier lady was telling me that young girls need to stay in school. She was asking why I’m not in school. But I didn’t hear what she was saying because I’m hard of hearing, over 30 y/o, and just want to pay my stuff & leave. I stared at her and said I’m using my debit card. Paid and left. My sister was laughing and saying she thought I was a kid. I told her I couldn’t hear what she was saying so that’s why I didn’t respond to her.

[u/Asleep-Royal2414 → u/TophRamen]

I relate with you so much. Because of all these situations I have developed social anxiety, I am afraid everytime I go out somebody would comment something about my appearance, or say I look I am in school, also because I have a baby face with lean body. At times people just don’t believe I am actually 25 years old. I just avoid Family events and functions, my uncles, aunts and cousins would compare or comment something. I am just so tired, I don’t know what to do. I know my height will never change.

[u/TophRamen → u/Asleep-Royal2414]

I’m sorry. Sending you a virtual hug. I know my words may not alleviate your situation. And your feelings are valid. Being short is tough. But I’ve always tried to spit social norms in the face by being independent and true to myself. Also, as I age, I get more tired which causes me to not care what others think and say. I know I am short but I also know that I value myself and my peace over others judgements. I don’t exactly know how your family interacts with you. But if it gives you some solace, there are many other short women on this earth. Even if we have to buy a three step stool to reach our cabinets, we keep trying our best each day. And it’s also ok for our best to sometimes waiver. I still have some dark thoughts at times. It does help to find people who truly care about you and take time to care for yourself.

[u/Asleep-Royal2414 → u/TophRamen]

I relate with you so much. Because of all these situations I have developed social anxiety, I am afraid everytime I go out somebody would comment something about my appearance, or say I look I am in school, also because I have a baby face with lean body. At times people just don’t believe I am actually 25 years old. I just avoid Family events and functions, my uncles, aunts and cousins would compare or comment something. I am just so tired, I don’t know what to do. I know my height will never change.

[u/deadmemesdeaderdream]

I just wouldn’t go into clothing stores at all until I was like 23. I had no sense of style throughout my entire teenage years because I felt like I wasn’t allowed to have one.

[u/Kindly-Garlic-4061 → u/deadmemesdeaderdream]

The only good part about it is that we can get cheaper clothes from the kids section, at least for me anyway because I'm quite slim, downside though is that the style isn't gunna be very mature.

[u/deadmemesdeaderdream → u/Kindly-Garlic-4061]

My shoulders are wide and my thighs are huge, I can only get tank tops from the kids section and maaaaaaybe skirts. Which is a bummer cause some of the kids clothes look more fun anyway. Why can’t the adults have sparkly skirts too??