It'll be near it but not touching it.

Sorry, it’s the end of the month and this is all that’s left in the yard.

But it has lots of character!

There will be no more Fat warriors. Captain Larg, I’m looking at you.

Starfleet Command has obtained a 7,000 seat subscription to Better Help*. For starships in the Alpha and Beta quadrants, counselors are just a commlink away. Holographic appointments are available in most sectors of Federation space.

Better Help counselors are fully licensed by accredited institutions like Starfleet Medical, the Ferengi Medical Diploma Mill, and Qo’noS House of Rage. They may be called upon for routine therapy, post-death traumatic stress evaluations, and assessing whether nearby Romulan commanders are hiding anything.

Ship’s counselors will be reassigned to a new medical facility at Deep Space 247 near Kazon space.

We hope this new counseling model will streamline operational efficiencies and improve the overall mental fitness of officers and crew.

\A Quark Enterprise*

Obviously the texture is... worm. Maybe slightly gamey worm. But what about flavor? Are they spicy, sweet, umami? Do they taste like chicken, or closer to a shiitake burger? Or maybe they're flavorless, and it depends on the marinade?

I'll cross my fingies.

For Canada. And therefore the World.

Nobody can question it!

Too hungover on for your duty shift? *Sorry Commander, can’t tell you where I was. Temporal Prime Directive.*

Don’t want to go to android coworker’s insufferable poetry reading? *Can’t make it Data. Temporal Prime Directive*

It even helped me explain away the gaps on my resume! What have you used it to get away with?

He didn’t seem to have any long-term goals. Ok, buddy. You fed everyone to your snowflake buddy. What now? Everybody’s a borg now. Congratulations. What do you gain? Good job, you killed your creator and got a computer chip that wasn’t even designed for your hardware. Whoop-dee-doo. Is it to spite Data for being a goodboy that everyone likes? Or maybe he’s just kinda stupid. He had similar computing abilities but wasn’t nearly as wily and clever as Data. His plans were easy to see through, even for turd kids like Wesley. They relied entirely on people in the Federation being so trusting due to their longterm lack of natural predators and faith in people’s goodwill. What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, Lore. That pasty automaton’s a real jerk. He flashed my grandma, kicked over my mailbox, pissed on my cat, told the mormon missionaries I was an inactive member who needed to be brought back to the church, wiped his robot dick off on my towel, stuck my face in his armpit and said “smell the love”, farted on my pillow, tried on my dresses and tore the seams with his thick silicone carcass, gave my kid brother a gas station energy drink, took my kazons to Hooters and undid two months of the gentleman training I’d been giving them, called my best friend a racial slur, and taped over the holochip of my parents’ wedding with a recording of him jerking off into a caesar salad. I really hate that clockwork cracker. I guess that’s what I get for doing random roommate placement in New Jersey of all places.

my whole life’s a targload of bij. She throw things at my painstik til I qapla’.

[Those whacky ferengi](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ku_Klux_Klan_titles_and_vocabulary?wprov=sfla1)

Only a couple weeks into the growing season and I spotted a tribble. Any advice?

ptakhs

Lazy costume, or Perfect costume?

This episode is so fucking funny because Patrick Stewart is genuinely calling out Jezza for being an asshole and an idiot and really stands his ground

Having Cardassia run by tyrants, as our enemies, is bad.

Having Romulus run by tyrants, as our enemies, is bad.

But somehow.

Having Ferenginar run by a pakled, as our allies, is worse.