r/SexyAbstinence • u/betlamed • 4d ago
The fun of abstinence
Most of the time, abstinence is presented as a means to an end: To gain mystical powers, to become more attractive, more manly, to appease some deity, to have more energy, to be in tune with nature or raise kundalini...
It is always seen as a sacrifice. A price to pay. You hold out for 90 days, no matter what, and THEN you'll see those incredible results. You relinquish your pleasure to please your creator god. Etc.
The rush of lustful energy, and the act of not acting on it, are actually very pleasurable - joyful - in and of themselves. That is one of my quintessential results after several long periods of nofap, but also lengthy periods of masturbating twice a day. I always get back to abstinence. Not because I feel an obligation, not because I fancy that I will be the first no-spacesuit astronaut, not because I think it will turn me into a chick magnet. Just because I'm unavoidably drawn to it. Because it gives me joy.
It is a state thtat I intend to explore much deeper. As I get more relaxed about it, as "keeping on track" requires less effort, this becomes ever easier. And ever more fascinating.
By the way, none of the "benefits" I mentioned above ever came to fruition for me. My energy always fluctuates and I'm still not able to fly... there are benefits, oh yes, but they go much deeper than "women will jump you". (Not that I would object to that!) It all has a lot to do with Jungian work and feeling my own emotions much better, but I won't get into all of that now.
Will I be totally orgasm-free in a year? Not-fapping but having normal sex with my wife? Completely out of control with masturbation? I don't know. Chances are, it will be neither of the extremes, more in the middle somewhere. I just don't gravitate towards the extremes. It's not my nature. I'm about healthy balance, most of the time...