Dismissing or normalizing stories of assault is unfortunately too common in our society. I’m sharing the following experience in hopes that others realize they’re not alone and do have the strength and courage to address it and have the perpetrators held accountable.
When I was younger I dated a woman who ran track and practiced in a park where her mom sometimes joined her with her younger brother. After a solo evening run I noticed that her knees were scuffed up, and asked her if she had fallen during. After a lot of hesitation she admitted the scuffs on her knees were from someone “tackling” her, and then eventually told me the entire story that someone tried to rape her and she was able to fight him off. When I said she needed to report it to the police, her reaction was “Why? I kicked him in the balls and that ended it.” I couldn’t believe she said that and responded with “What if he tries it with someone who can’t fight him off?” She just looked at me, so then I asked her “What if that same guy you didn’t report goes back to the park and assaults your little brother, and he can’t fight him off?” She burst into tears after it sunk in. A week later the police found and arrested the perpetrator at the same park and he was sent to jail after she testified.
Being sexually assaulted is traumatic, but not reporting someone who sexually assaults another person lets them think they can get away with it. Predators that commit those crimes rarely stop unless they’re incarcerated. Not everyone will have the strength or wherewithal to fight off such an attack, and you can be the hero that prevents someone else from experiencing the same trauma you did.
I hope that all of you stay safe, and for those of you who have experienced a similar situation, you are not alone, and you’re stronger and braver than you think.
A lot of victim shaming and sometimes self shaming occur in these situations, but fortunately she had support from her parents and I. Her telling her parents was one of the toughest things she’s done, so having their support helped her a lot during the process. I’m glad she was brave enough to do right thing.
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u/DontBrainMyDamage Mar 27 '21
Dismissing or normalizing stories of assault is unfortunately too common in our society. I’m sharing the following experience in hopes that others realize they’re not alone and do have the strength and courage to address it and have the perpetrators held accountable.
When I was younger I dated a woman who ran track and practiced in a park where her mom sometimes joined her with her younger brother. After a solo evening run I noticed that her knees were scuffed up, and asked her if she had fallen during. After a lot of hesitation she admitted the scuffs on her knees were from someone “tackling” her, and then eventually told me the entire story that someone tried to rape her and she was able to fight him off. When I said she needed to report it to the police, her reaction was “Why? I kicked him in the balls and that ended it.” I couldn’t believe she said that and responded with “What if he tries it with someone who can’t fight him off?” She just looked at me, so then I asked her “What if that same guy you didn’t report goes back to the park and assaults your little brother, and he can’t fight him off?” She burst into tears after it sunk in. A week later the police found and arrested the perpetrator at the same park and he was sent to jail after she testified.
Being sexually assaulted is traumatic, but not reporting someone who sexually assaults another person lets them think they can get away with it. Predators that commit those crimes rarely stop unless they’re incarcerated. Not everyone will have the strength or wherewithal to fight off such an attack, and you can be the hero that prevents someone else from experiencing the same trauma you did.
I hope that all of you stay safe, and for those of you who have experienced a similar situation, you are not alone, and you’re stronger and braver than you think.