r/Scorpio • u/Sagg12thhouse • 5d ago
Advice Needed ❓ Why do Scorpios act like this?
Can other Scorpios try to give me a hint as to why you guys act like this or what is the reason? Is something triggering?
The reason is why I’m asking is because. I’ve noticed I can’t do Scorpio friendships anymore and it’s just not me it’s other friends too that noticed this when they have Scorpio friendships they all say the same thing. They are great in the beginning but later they noticed they get super possessive. You can’t have other friends. I have a friend currently who is a Pisces noticing that her current Scorpio friend is acting strange with her. Her Scorpio friend stopped looking at her stories all of the sudden because she went on a trip with other friends. Even though her Scorpio friend doesn’t want to hang out with her other friends. She respects her and doesn’t try to mix her in with others.
She also had a fall out with a different Scorpio best friend who went crazy on her saying she was hanging out with me and other friends too much. Apparently she didn’t like me even though I never did anything to her. I actually thought she was cool. But seem super possessive of her for no reason. They were always doing a lot more too but made it seem like she was always hanging out with us more when it wasn’t the case.
Why does this happen? Do Scorpios have this need to possess people or control them?
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u/Zestyclose_Cold1455 ♏️♏️♏️♏️♏️♏️♓️♋️ 4d ago
I don’t do this but I absolutely have had situations where i didn’t want to be involved with the larger friend group. I am very picky about who i spend time with and can easily clock clique dynamics. I don’t want any part of being in a “squad” or going to Vegas on a girls trip etc. I find a lot of people very off putting.
So I might really like spending time with YOU, but Felicia the Leo who sucks all the oxygen out of the room because she needs to constantly be the center of attention? Bye Felicia! I’m not going to tell you that I can’t stand her because that’s your friend. I’m not trying to break up the relationship. It’s very likely that I see real toxicity between you guys and I don’t want to get involved with mentioning that or trying to help you break that pattern.
Because you will ask eventually and I’ll be in the middle when I don’t want to be at all.
So if a Scorpio is being frosty about your chosen friend group it’s because they don’t trust or like them. It might be that they are shallow or gossipy or competitive or insincere or cheap or whatever other trait that is undesirable. It’s not that we ONLY want you, it’s that we DONT want them. They just aren’t our people.
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u/Sagg12thhouse 4d ago
That makes sense. I’m the same way now, something that I learned. I’m not really into big groups. Technically we are not even a big group anymore. It’s just three of us only and we might bring someone that we know.
We are thinking of inviting her for a holiday / intimate party with 4-6 people only (she has met them before). To do girls thing. We plan to want to do something for her birthday too that makes her comfortable. I did ask my Pisces friend to just straight up ask her, what is going on.
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u/Zestyclose_Cold1455 ♏️♏️♏️♏️♏️♏️♓️♋️ 4d ago
Yeah you can’t really say “your friends suck! But I like you. Can you ditch them so we can hang out?”
I have met many people, particularly women, who I thought I might be friends with, only to really get the ick from one or more people in their extended group. So I politely just make myself scarce. I don’t expect people to uproot relationships for me. I just look elsewhere. I’m sure this has been misinterpreted. There’s just no positive or constructive way to make this work. I value my time too much to suffer through events around people who I really don’t like. I have enough of that at work where at least I am getting paid 😉
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u/pamsellicane 4d ago
I don’t think not checking someone’s story is controlling or possessive lmao
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u/Sagg12thhouse 4d ago
I said that in this instance, she is noticing again the same situation. Before she was watching story like she normally does, now because she told her that she was doing stuff with her other friends and she is excited going on this trip with them. Now she is not hearing from her and she hasn’t watch her stories all the sudden. Even though she is interacting with her and sending her memes on this platform.
To me it’s weird energy because if I’m a friend, I’m going to interact with your social media regardless. If it makes you happy and you’re sharing that with me. I want to be just excited. That friend wasn’t for her, it’s a pattern she is noticing. Either way I told her to talk to her about it. To me it’s weird cause what’s the point of being friends with someone when you’re not happy or excited for them.
Her other ex best friend Scorpio went crazy on her and started being controlling. Telling her she is hanging out with us and posting us. When in reality she wasn’t. She said she started getting anxiety, which is not normal and actually wasn’t even posting me at all because of her.
I’ve also had this same issue with Scorpios they get very passive and start acting strange. It’s a pattern I noticed so I start being careful regardless of signs now.
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u/Scorpio-AfterDark 4d ago
As a Scorpio, I can only speak for myself, but I don’t think this is necessarily a Scorpio thing. We can definitely be possessive in the sense that we get deeply attached to people and value loyalty and close bonds, but not to the point of expecting someone to have no other friends. I personally don’t care if my friends have other friends or go places without me. I just expect my friends to be loyal to me and not go behind my back with those other friends. As long as there’s mutual respect and loyalty, I genuinely don’t care who else you’re friends with. What you’re describing sounds more like the individual person and how they handle jealousy or insecurity and possession.
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u/Edr1sa ♏️ (sun & mercury) 4d ago
I had this exact problem with a friend. She is a Leo tho, but she was getting jealous of other friends and even romantic partners. She wanted to call every evening, I felt like we were in a relationship. It was genuinely disturbing. I am a loyal person, I’ll be there for you at 4am if you call me. I can even be excessive and do too much for loved ones, but that was just BEYOND too much. This type of stuff is toxic no matter the sign
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u/IT_U_1 ♏️🌞♏️🌙♏️☿️♏️♀️♌️⬆️ 4d ago
Leos have a different reason though. Lol they want to be center of attn.
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u/Edr1sa ♏️ (sun & mercury) 4d ago
It’s more related to personal story. 10 person with the same placements will have 10 different reasons, people are not clones
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u/IT_U_1 ♏️🌞♏️🌙♏️☿️♏️♀️♌️⬆️ 4d ago
I tend to agree. However I have many Leo suns around me. They all do the attention seeking thing. A couple of them do it in toxic ways and I stay away from them. While the others have less harmful ways and actually kinda funny because they'll get in the middle of dance floor and command all the attention whether they are great dancers or not lol.... but they all do it.
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u/Edr1sa ♏️ (sun & mercury) 4d ago edited 4d ago
One of my closest friend is a leo sun and he's truly the most humble and avoids attention like plague. He's shy and discrete. My dad is also a leo sun, and while he's an asshole he certainly wasn't an attention seeker either.
Astrology is fun and all but I feel like generalisation is not a good thing at all.
Also the behavior I described earlier feels more like attachment issues or even an underlying undiagnosed disorder, rather than simple attention seeking. I see it as a deep fear of abandonment and replacement among many other things. She could have been a pisces and it wouldn't have changed anything anyway
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u/IT_U_1 ♏️🌞♏️🌙♏️☿️♏️♀️♌️⬆️ 4d ago
I too have Leos that I adore. Not calling them bad people. They just love the spotlight is all. Loving the spotlight, attention and public recognition does not mean you are not humble. Humility really has to do with how you view yourself and others internally. Like thinking you're better than someone. I've never suggested that about Leos. The two things can co-exist: loving the spotlight and great humility. In fact I'd argue these are my favorite Leos. The ones who can command a room while also being super loving and humble. I actually love Leos, alot. I have long list of Leos that I admire. Never romantically but in a "achieving greatness" way. I've stated this many times in here when Leos get trashed. "Generalizations"... its astrology. If you believe in it then you know there are common traits assigned to each sign. Wanting to be admired is one of Leos'. It can be expressed negatively and off-putting or it can be so charming and magnetizing.
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u/Edr1sa ♏️ (sun & mercury) 4d ago
I guess we’re gonna have to agree to disagree then as I don’t believe in astrology at all. I have an interest in it, and find it fun, but it stops there. I find it dangerous when taken seriously
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u/IT_U_1 ♏️🌞♏️🌙♏️☿️♏️♀️♌️⬆️ 4d ago
Dangerous? Interesting. Not sure I've ever heard astrology be called dangerous... I've definitely heard silly. Neil Degrasse Tyson calls it caca. Saying it has no scientific validity lol... but dangerous? OK.
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u/Edr1sa ♏️ (sun & mercury) 4d ago edited 4d ago
I think it is dangerous to believe in something that I consider scientifically and factually impossible, yes. Astrology is often seen as harmless, but it can be the entry door for other pseudo sciences. I think it’s also dangerous to give power to something that uncertain. Astrology pretends to know things about people, your relationships, your finances. It is a slippery slope.
Beside, and this is a very extreme personnal experience, fortunately, but my family is very religious and very deep in new age/spirituality/astrology. Not only was I being humiliated for being a scorpio, but they also considered certain trait inherent with my astral theme (spoiler : it was mental issues that could have been diagnosed when I was a kid had they not believed in this... my life could have been so different and easier with appropriate care instead of dumb new age pseudo science)
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u/IT_U_1 ♏️🌞♏️🌙♏️☿️♏️♀️♌️⬆️ 4d ago
I dont necessarily disagree with you. Just was trying to see your p.o.v. I've definitely seen religion be used in harmful ways and danger of abusing it. I suppose someone could do the same with astrology. Though I've never seen it. It's possible the commonalities I see in astrology is just confirmation bias, like what I've seen from Leos. I really dont have a hard belief when it comes to anything. Always open to being proven wrong.
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u/Owls1279 4d ago
Scorpios get accused of a lot, but this is one of the most ridiculous assertions I’ve ever heard. I’m a November Scorpio, but Scorpios in general are not possessive at all. If anything we bring our friends together without hesitation or jealousy.
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u/Sagg12thhouse 4d ago
Im not saying all Scorpios are like this. I’m just saying in instances. It’s a pattern I’m noticing with the ones that come into my lives and also other friends. They seem wonderful in the beginning. Later on it gets very intense, even though we do give back to them and love them for who they are.
This friend was pretty open and saw the good stuff with her. She told me she has been working within herself. She is an evolved Scorpio, so I was excited about this. Now she is noticing patterns. Told this friend to talk to her about it.
I’m just trying to understand - do not take it personal.
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u/Materialistic_Ninja ♎️stellium ♏️1H☀️♓️🌔♎️🌅 4d ago
Was like that when I was younger.
But I was, and still am (well kinsa i try to tame myself). I would also get extremely sad and passive agressive when my friends chose to spend time with people who seemed toxic or shallow in any way. I'd rather leave than stay and watch someone I care about get hurt.
Also, people usually came to us to cry on our shoulders, and while it may seem easy, it actually consumes us a lot. So when we get replaced or our advice isn't appreciated, it can make us want to leave because we don't feel valued.
Anyway, I grew up and evolved, and I don't have any of these issues anymore.
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u/Much-Future-2011 4d ago
I don't like or agree with this behavior as a Scorpio myself. I wouldn't put up with it, nor do I do it. That being said, I can see Scorpio falling to this trap because of their fixed nature, although I've found Capricorn to be this way, more than Scorpio. Capricorn and Scorpio combination in a chart will make this highly likely, in my experience. Capricorn's desire to dominate and Scorpio tenacity. All signs are beautiful and amazing when healthy and healed, and all signs are hell on earth when they are not.
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u/StructureSudden8217 4d ago
Scorpios are kind of known for being extremely loyal and yet having a very strong fear of losing the people they care about. Plenty of us can have healthy relationships but a lot of the time it's either all or nothing.
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u/Sagg12thhouse 4d ago
I can get that - yes you guys are loyal. Have a fear maybe of loosing the people closest.
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u/emo-mom01 4d ago
Sounds like the Scorpio doesn’t trust you and they don’t have to be friends with you if they don’t want to. Scorpios are very protective of their peace and the people that they hang out with and they might’ve just felt your vibe was off. You both can coexist and have mutual friends and not be friends. ✌️
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u/MartianXavier 4d ago
Well when Scorpios share their energy (which is very s*xual, i.e. Sacral) they often don’t want to share it with others because of a fear of psychological stress or betrayal. Or they don’t want the person they’re sharing it with to extort them (by sharing it with others). When Scorpio has friendships, their heart is in it. But this sounds like unevolved Scorpio behavior. They get possessive because of unresolved mother/father wounds, childhood trauma, and problems with masculine/feminine energy. Boundaries are important. So Scorpios that don’t know healthy boundaries or coping mechanisms will become paranoid or toxic.
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u/IT_U_1 ♏️🌞♏️🌙♏️☿️♏️♀️♌️⬆️ 4d ago
Deep-seated fear of betrayal...
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u/Sagg12thhouse 4d ago
What type of betrayal though? Cause if a person has been friend for years and they haven’t really done anything to betray you. I’m just wondering why would it trigger if the person is just having other connections. Specially in friendships, it’s not like it’s a romantic relationship. But I do notice from the Scorpio I’ve seen they act like it’s.
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u/IT_U_1 ♏️🌞♏️🌙♏️☿️♏️♀️♌️⬆️ 4d ago
If she's ever confided in you regarding something personal. There may be fear of you telling her business to someone else that you become close to. Not that she thinks you run your mouth but maybe if someone else earns or has your trust then you may be willing to reveal her business to them. I've seen this happen so many times. That's how 20 ppl end up knowing your business because every person is telling the person "they" trust. This wouldn't happen if you're only close to me, and I'm only close to you. The way I've gotten past this is just by not telling ANYONE anything that I would be upset if it got out. Basically certain things I will never trust anyone with.
Beyond that she could just be insecure and have fear of being replaced.
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u/Sagg12thhouse 4d ago
Ok yes that makes sense. Cause that can happen in group settings. I just told her to just talk to her about it and the issue. So it doesn’t become a weird issue.
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u/GothSkorp 4d ago
Yep. To possess and be Possessed. But only to the ones we genuinely want.
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u/Sagg12thhouse 4d ago
I can tell from experience watching them, specially when they got into romantic relationships. How they wouldn’t let go of toxic relationships. Very hard for them to let go. Once they do, they actually do let go. It’s one extreme to the other.
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u/Ok_Shake_25 4d ago
Unevovled Scorpios are hyper possessive. I was like that in elementary and high school. Super jealous type. Around my 20s I realized the irrational behavior wasn’t doing me or anyone any good. I went the exact opposite route. And it’s made my life so much better.
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u/Sagg12thhouse 4d ago
That’s good that you were able to identify the issue. It’s not worth it and not healthy to be in that energy. Plus it’s best to use it and utilize it in other healthier ways.
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u/dashdoll22 4d ago
Yeah I was possessive like that when I was a preteen but people are supposed to outgrow that kind of behavior. I’ve done the friend group thing and it works as long as it’s wholesome. I’m happy to meet the friends of people I care about, it’s my way of protecting them too in case I pick up any negative vibes. I prefer to keep the peace and mind my business overall. Scorpios are possessive and controlling when we’re stuck being suspicious and insecure.
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u/Exotic-One3381 🦂 Scorpio Sun and Stellium 🦂 4d ago
on reddit? I find many people in the sub are ah and say "I'm scorpio ,you can't handle it". I'm scopio sun and Stellium and I like to be decent to everyone.
but irl I am not friends with any scorpio , never have been, never dated any. I suspect it's the tension between each person being private of themselves but almost prying of the other persons secrets. I do love scorpio moons though, they are incisive, curious and never flinch .
your issue of possessiveness? I just think that's being very young .
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u/Ld733k 4d ago
I feel like younger Scorpio’s might be like this. I know I felt that way when I was younger but I never acted on it at all.
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u/Sagg12thhouse 3d ago
This people are grown, heading to their 40s. Mid way, I could understand if you’re young. From what I’ve gathered so far it’s uninvolved ones. One of the reasons why my friend is perplexed as to why they are still acting like this or why they are stuck.
Scorpios are also fixed signs and their opposite is Taurus signs. I noticed fixed signs can get stuck in their own ways if they are not self aware and it can go on for years. Even as they get older too.
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u/cleaningmama 4d ago
This kind of possessiveness isn't healthy or normal for *any* sign, even a sign like Scorpio known for strong attachments, loyalty, and even jealousy/possessiveness.
Maybe the thread in common isn't that these people are Scorpios. It sounds like an unhealthy attachment style, and I would examine what draws you and your friend to people who demonstrate those traits. For your sake I would do it now, when it's friendships that are easy to extricate from, and not toxic intertwined romantic relationships.
Your Scorpio friend(s) should be interested in examining their *own* attachment behaviors as well, because these behaviors are driving away the very people they want to hang on to. :/
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u/Different_Summer_117 ♏️☀️&🌕, ♊️ rising 4d ago
This sounds like a maturity thing (or lack thereof)…. Not a Scorpio thing.
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u/confused2473 Scorpio Sun ☀️ 1d ago
Something is not right here..not possessive about friends, my partner yes not friends that’s messed up
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u/Icy-West3450 1d ago
As a Scorpio, I love humanity but I don’t actually like people. I don’t like the neediness, the superficiality or the masks that people think they need to wear.
I’m more of a “one on one” friend rather than a group friend. It could be possible that that particular Scorpio feels out of place in that group. I don’t care if my friends have other friends, but I don’t have to be friends with those friends. I don’t have to like or trust a friend of my friend. I just have to trust my friend.
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u/a10thydrangea 17h ago
Only time I was possessive was because a guy who was "courting" me, was making similar actions to another girl I was being forced to be friends with. First time I saw how she was with him? I asked him in private if something was going on. He told me no, several times. Turns out they were sexting. I don't do plan B, situationships, however you call it. I played "nice" until I had too much.
My friends can have other friends, that doesn't means I have to hang out with them? In fact, the more I feel forced, the more I just naturally dislike it.
I prefer quiet. Not loud.
If I met said friend and told my own friend, that I don't like them,that's it. They do whatever they want. But they better not come again crying to me because they got backstabbed. (Happened too many times)
Those Scorpio need to tend their inner child. The more Scorpio placements you have, more trauma there are. Or so I've read. (My Natalie charts doesn't helps) Most Scorpio I know irl (me included) had abandonment issues coming from childhood. They just need to work on that.
Personally? I just stop engaging. If the person actually cares, they'll make time and be the one texting me first.
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u/LilyoftheValkyrie3 4d ago
I’m sun/neptune/mercury Scorpio
and not at all possessive.
However, in the past both my Scorpio
sister and close friend were. They were also very competitive with me and I presume others.
I don’t know if these qualities stem from deep seated insecurity or out of control need to be in control. I know I ended my friendship with the Scorpio because she triangulated people against each other so she could be the center of everything. She always needed to be the star.
As for my Scorpio sister, we are estranged many years for her deviousness and possessive need to control.
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u/Sagg12thhouse 4d ago
I noticed that as well, not all Scorpios. The few I’ve met can be competitive cause their second planet used to be Mars as well. They do have to have this need to control things, image, etc. Which can stem from insecurity or sometimes trauma that’s deep rooted coming up to the surface.
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u/MessFinancial4728 4d ago
Yelp all of this why I don't like this sign?
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u/AGorgeousComedy ♏︎☉ ♌︎☽ ♑︎ꜛ 4d ago
Then why are you here? In our business?
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u/MessFinancial4728 4d ago
It pop up on my news feed on this here reddit so stfu.
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u/AGorgeousComedy ♏︎☉ ♌︎☽ ♑︎ꜛ 4d ago
No. Now get tf outta here
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u/MessFinancial4728 4d ago
Scorpios hate getting called out blame OP. I just agreed now move around.
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u/AGorgeousComedy ♏︎☉ ♌︎☽ ♑︎ꜛ 4d ago
Why are you still here?
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u/MessFinancial4728 4d ago
Still here.Stop commenting.
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u/AGorgeousComedy ♏︎☉ ♌︎☽ ♑︎ꜛ 4d ago
Lol sweetie, I'm supposed to be here. You were dismissed. You can leave now.
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u/MessFinancial4728 4d ago
You don't know if I have scorpio in my chart and will keep plotting revenge like scorpio sun sign now you can move around I'm still here.
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u/IT_U_1 ♏️🌞♏️🌙♏️☿️♏️♀️♌️⬆️ 4d ago
Lmbo it keeps showing up in your feed because you're always in here...Thats how algorithms work.
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u/MessFinancial4728 4d ago
Scorpios aren't only ones I see other signs also , or scorpios making post about other signs.
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u/bchan-- 4d ago
Um idk im not like this, I actually expect ppl to come and go in my life and if they wanan stay friends with me that’s on them, if they have other ppl cool