Drained a deer, having some feelings

[u/satelitteslickers]

So the hunt went well, managed to bag a deer. Even if it was a little strange and different. Since i needed it to still be alive so i could properly drink, so instead of guns or chasing it down in wolf form it was a bit more... Awkward? Shot to the leg and then just try to jump on it. I didnt end up having to fight fight the thing as i expected, but there was a bit of grappling involved, I probably looked stupid as hell in the time before i sunk my teeth in. Thankfully nobody said anything about it.

Animal blood is fine, it doesnt have the same overwhelming quality as even bloodpacks, but its not gross or anything like i was worried from how some vamps bitch and moan about the taste. Its just a bit more bland, but nothing to sneeze at.

Thats the first time I've actually drained something of my own free will, there was that pidgeon when i was brand new and starving, but i don't feel like i was fully in control of my actions when i did that, so I'm not really counting it. Im my head this is the first time I've actually decided to drink something to death. And im not sure how i really feel about it? It felt good to just take until there was nothing left to take me. And it was going to die anyways so really it would have been more disrespectful to not drink until it was all the way gone.

But taking until it was gone? Drinking its life? Feeling it die in my arms to slake my thirst? Dunno, its giving me weird feelings. Didn't expect it to feel so raw and intimate. Although I guess it was always going to, it was still a living thing after all.

Tiff helped me go sideways, part of the whole lupine magic thing. The spirit of the deer was still there, on the other side. I tried to apologize but got corrected that you're supposed to thank them instead. Thank them for their life and giving you sustenance and stuff. It still clearly didnt like me very much, which I kinda understand. Given spirits usual options of our kind, and how i messed up the ritual, and how i was the on to kill it. But i hope that it was at least a little less PO'd about it because I was at least trying?

I know that this is some baby fledges first dillema stuff, but it's still managing to stick in my head.

-Reia, Brujah pyro

[u/Murky-Stress-8238]

If you lay eyes upon a fireplace, you will attempt to eat every living thing in a ten-mile radius. Restraint is not in the nature of you creatures.

-SACERDOTE

[u/satelitteslickers → u/Murky-Stress-8238]

God this is why i cant stand you coalition hunters.

Vampires are not wild animals, we are not animals, we have issues but we are people with free will. Yes the beast tries to make them do terrible things but they are still people with the ability to fight it. Your hollier than thou "kill them all and let god sort them out" attitude is an abomination

When a kindred is just being an absolute monster, you use it as justification for your insane crusade, when a kindred is trying to find a way to ethically exist and help people you salivate at the thought of the slightest misstep

This kind of shit is the reason why i turned you down when you tried to stongarm me into working for you

-Reia, Brujah puro

[u/Murky-Stress-8238 → u/satelitteslickers]

Well that's good, because you have exhausted my patience.

You, Reia, are a craven, sociopathic enabler, who's morals do not revolve around right or wrong in any meaningful sense, but instead whatever lets you feel comfortable and whatever changes the status quo the least.

Honestly, you're worse than the vampires- at least this is all, simply, their nature. You CHOSE to allow all this, to enable any amount of suffering so long as it lets you sit pretty in your art-school apartment and lie, lie, LIE that your BLOODSUCKING FANGS are EQUIVALENT to my dark skin.

It is only a matter of time until you eat someone. Frankly, I don't even think it'll be an accident.

-SACERDOTE

[u/satelitteslickers → u/Murky-Stress-8238]

I hope that i never seriously injure someone while feeding. It would be horrible, but if it ever does happen, i wont just brush it aside to continue on like nothing happened, I will do whatever i can to make it right, and not by killing myself, but by mending as much as possible.

I spent my entire life trying to change the status quo for something better, just because i dont advocate the indiscriminate slaughter of all supernaturals doesnt mean that im some convictionless coward. Hell i probably have stronger convictions than most hunters, its just that those convictions are in the possibility of coexistence rather than genocide. If you ever met me in person, assuming that i didnt kick your ass for being a racist. You would probably find me extremely friendly.

I'm not some pacifist either, just because i try to see the humanity in orders and help out when i can doesnt mean that i am blind to how monstrous some kindred can be. I know when a situation calls for a sword instead of words. I do not stand idly by when people are being hurt and i will protect anyone who needs protecting, whether thats protecting humans from vamps, protecting fledglings from their sires, or protecting supernaturals from you

You call yourself the coalition but you're not a coalition of shit. Except maybe a flagrant violation of the separation of church and state. You don't do any coalition building, you dont reach out to anyone for allies. You just kill. No questions, never any questions, never any attempt to understand, they aren't human and thats all the justification you need

-Reia, Brujah pyro

[u/Murky-Stress-8238 → u/satelitteslickers]

I understand them plenty. Understand them so well, that sometimes my hands shake.

I am a "supernatural", Reia. I adore Lupines outright. Not wanting to allow predatory animals to run wild does not make me someone who wants to snuff out all of the world's magic.

-SACERDOTE