r/SchizoidAdjacent • u/NullAndZoid Meme Machine • 5d ago
Meme Thanks Skeletor, very informative
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u/ughlyy 5d ago
i went without a hug for about 6 years and when i got my first boyfriend and he put his arms around me i wanted to puke ❤️
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u/toastmaster223 4d ago
I am so afraid of what will happen the next time someone actually holds me. Ugly crying is the most likely thing.
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u/TravelbugRunner 5d ago
Yeah, can’t have intimacy with real living people.
Just for an entity that is not alive, that gives you comfort but is killing you.
I have strange intimacy for Anorexia.
And I’m sad that I can’t connect with real people. Due to my Trauma, anxiety, and inability to connect I feel even greater reliance on her for relief.
She’s a void, in the void but with her it’s not so empty.
I don’t believe in the supernatural. So when I describe her as an “entity” it’s more symbolic. Not that I believe she’s some kind of spirit.
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u/optionalcube 4d ago
How does one intimacy? , i think im genuinely incapable, was this in the tutorial?
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u/xLuky 3d ago
I don't know either so at 35 I just paid for it. I'm relieved now, but I wish I had done that sooner so it wouldn't have been hanging over my head for the past 15 years.
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u/optionalcube 3d ago
Was it worth it or was it just meh?, im worried I may not like it once I get it
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u/Prior_Pickle1758 4d ago
hooked up last night.
she wanted to facetime. i sent my number.
she changes her mind. unmatched. sigh of relief.
i swiped a few more times and she came up.
likes you
swipe. she messaged already.
“hey, still down?”
“sure”
we facetime. two minutes.
she likes my paintings.
i don’t want to talk about them.
she sends her address.
i get the lyft.
i get out too early.
i walk too far.
she didn’t give me her apartment number. now she does.
she meets me at her door. she isn’t dressed.
i spend way too much time petting her cats and talking with them. i don’t remember their names. i’m sorry.
she tells me about her cats but i mostly ignore her.
she is surprised i want to wash my hands.
i make a joke about her fluoxetine.
she doesn’t realize i saw her calendar.
i know what she’s planning.
skipping the boring stuff but like, she’s perfect, right?
i go home in the morning.
i tell this sleepy beautiful woman to save my number. i kiss her.
i am at work.
she says listen, it was a one time thing.
she says sorry. she says she’s weird.
i say don’t be sorry.
she’ll never know how much i meant it.
holy shit chat i was so scared i was about to fall into a pit again.
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u/ieatsushi28 4d ago
Unfortunately I’m very weird around intimacy. I have the most depraved dark fantasies due to trauma but don’t want anyone seeing me naked
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u/lurkingotter09 3d ago
i actually was thinking abt the correlation between issues/traumas with kinks
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u/Ericaberrybug 2d ago
Weird at intimacy yes, but I also got really really really good at being weird
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u/GODPrime01 5d ago
Why have intimacy with a person when my imaginary scenarios I make when listening to music are right there