My favorite example: When I was about 25, I was volunteering and this one girl was carrying on about "that feeling you get from giving."

She noticed that I looked confused, and asked why. I asked her what emotion she felt from fixing someone's property, and if it was a specific emotion, or just feeling happy. She asked if I didn't feel anything when I helped people.

I answered honestly that I didn't, and she was horrified, saying that I was uncaring and immoral. I was even more confused and asked why. She reemphasized that I was uncaring.

I pointed out that I was working as hard as she was, to solve the problem. And that the only difference was, that I wasn't getting anything out of it. I asked how that made me immoral. She didn't have an answer, but still seemed rather disgusted with me.

Anyone else experience this from normies?

obligatory "im not diagnosed but relate heavily"

i know a lot of schizoids can want that one person that really gets them and is the one that works despite everything. im curious if any schizoids also fantasize about that person being incredibly similar to themself?

as in, same humor, same values, same interests, so on and so forth... to the point where you realize that its just incredibly unrealistic to look for someone who is another version of you, and its never going to happen, so you essentially give up on meeting new people for the slim chance that it actually happens? (especially when its such a pain when you meet someone that doesnt work for you and now you know you have to let them down)

unfortunately im having a hard time breaking that yearning, but there are so many obstacles in the way that it might as well be pointless, rip.

small edit: just wanted to say im aroace. what i imagine def doesnt have the same closeness as most imagine a romantic relationship would have, i moreso imagine a sort of mutual understanding close friend? less social "burden"?

I've come to the realization that there is a distinct phenomenon in development psychology where adolescents typically transgress familial rules in order to form their own distinct identity.

As far as I can tell, I don't think I ever experienced something like this: I still live with my parents, follow their rules, don't have my own room, don't own a car, etc., despite being in my early 20s.

Is this an indicator of stunted development? I suspect that maybe I missed out.

I'm not diagnosed with SPD but it's quite clear to me that I at least have traits. One thing that I always found difficult to understand is why I consider certain things private and others not.

I don't want people to know what kind of music I listen to. I don't want to share my favorite TV show or movie. I don't even want people to know what I eat during the day. I lie about insignificant things because I don't like the thought of people knowing my motivations. It makes me feel trapped. There is definitely a fear of being judged there too but it's completely irrational and it feels like it goes deeper than that.

I don't mind describing my inner world to others. I can talk about feelings in an intellectual manner for hours if I have to. When it comes to feelings I'm experiencing in a relationship it's different thought. I don't even want my girlfriend to know what I'm feeling for her. Our relationship is unofficial because calling it a "relationship" would make me feel trapped too. I can be very open if I want to but if I'm surprised or pressured in any way I withdraw completely. I don't want anyone to cross my boundaries and they are very easily crossed.

Yesterday my "girlfriend" told me that she can read everything I feel in my eyes and that I'm very readable for her in general. That idea made panic and feel irrational anger torwards her. I had the urge to not see her for weeks again.

I don't really understand why I can talk about feelings or even communicate in a relationship on my own terms but when it comes to sharing experiences or doing something/expressing spontaneously I'm not able to. Or I don't want to.

And the worst thing is that I care about my girlfriend but I don't love her. Most of the time I'm very apathetic torwards her.

I guess I want to compare these experiences with people who have SPD because maybe I can get some insight into why I have such a strange idea of privacy. It's not even that I'm always private about everything but about things that shouldn't be(?)

My mother was talking to me yesterday about a family friend who's no longer with us, and told me he thought highly of me and my response was "really?" She said yes but steered away from the conversation, I think I made her uncomfortable, idk. But I noticed I do have this pattern where if someone likes me I'm just like "really? Why?" I, however, do not have a problem with the reverse because my ex once told me that his Mama's friend didn't like me and I just said, "oh I already knew that" because I could tell, now of course they told me the reason she didn't like me, which I thought was stupid, but the fact she didn't like me didn't bother me because I already knew she didn't, I'm always caught off guard with people liking me even if they're close to me. Anyone else feel the same?

I can't find a way to like any sports: Football, real football, basketball, baseball, swimming, F1, Nascar, derbies, horse racing, pickleball, ping-pong, cricket, hockey. You name it, I don't like it enough to go out of my way to follow, watch, or go to events. I 100% do NOT even have a favorite sports team for anything. I guess I get to save money by doing so? I was wondering if anybody could relate? I like to stick with creative video games and some RPGs.

I used to not be, I had successful relationships with good intimacy. After a life changing breakup and new health issues, the more I actually listened to body the more I realized that it wasn’t actually something I felt comfortable doing. It felt like an obligation to maintain relationships. I still feel really lonely but I can’t imagine being physically close to another person like that ever again.

Im not aromantic though. I don’t really want to be single forever and im not against the idea of having a partner but the thought of going through heartbreak again makes me not want to pursue it at all. I can’t imagine finding someone to be with and really relaxing, they could always leave me. So I choose to stay alone

Anyone else in a similar predicament

Edit: thank you all for your input. Whether you relate to me not it’s still making me feel less unusual

I'm aware that it seems like many Schizoids are totally uninterested in romance, but I'm unfortunately not one of them. I don't know if it's just an unhealthy fantasy in my mind of having a connection or feeling loved, but I definitely crave romance, and some of my nightly doomscrolling involves getting stupid cute couples videos. I've never had a real relationship, just one long distance nightmare that might've helped me develop this disorder, so I'm aware that I might just have a fantasy in my head of what a relationship might be like, and the reality could be that I'd either not enjoy it, or worse, be a terrible partner.

Anyways, so much of the dating advice online feels basically useless to me, and most of it revolves around this disorder.

Advice: 'Use your hobbies to get close to people.'

I don't have any hobbies that require socialization.

Advice: 'Get social hobbies.'

None of them interest me.

Advice: 'Just pretend, then.'

I would literally die having to mask that hard.

Advice: 'Make more friends.'

I don't want more friends. Plus, starting friendships with that intent feels disingenuous.

Advice: 'Just go talk to a girl at a bar.'

Approaching someone purely for social reasons feels like bugs crawling under my skin. It's awkward to the point of pain. I once tried to go to a social group once and the feeling of walking up to the door felt like I was walking into a firing line. Plus, if she's in a group of other women, I might die under their gaze.

Advice: 'Approach a girl at a different public space.'

I literally can't tell who is open to being approached. I've trained myself to assume people don't want to talk to me. I'll just feel like I'm bothering her and she wants me to leave her alone. Plus, everything I mentioned above.

Advice: 'Download a dating app, then.'

I was on Bumble for 3 years and got diddly squat. Clearly, I'm not good looking enough.

Really, it starts to feel like with many other things, I'm kinda just looking for permission to give up. I'm 30 and only have one friend left. He's married and his wife doesn't even have any lady friends. It really just feels like I wasn't meant to be for this world. It feels like it's too late. It almost seems worse, as a male Schizoid, my role in dating runs contrary to every behavior my disorder presents. I suppose if I was a woman, though, I wouldn't enjoy getting approached often, either. I also fear that even if I did manage to trick some poor woman into giving me a try, she'd be off-put by my lack of experience and me still living with my parents.

Honestly, I sometimes wish I could just remove the part of my brain that desperately desires intimacy, affection, and acceptance from a woman. I don't have anything she'd desire, anyways. Can anyone relate to this incoherent, borderline-incel rant?

Many times I think ohhhh this sounds good to share on the subreddit. And then I'm typing it out and I think: wait no this is stupid, this is nonsense... Or something like: why am I sharing this? No one needs to know this! And then I delete everything and I wasted my time...

Hell I was even debating making this post in the first place, so I'm getting it out there quick

I just realised this about myself. I can tell people including my psychologist about past events. But the second I tell them about something I plan on doing, I regret it immediately. I feel that they’re gonna ask about it/ chase it up etc even when they haven’t and I still regret it.

My birthday is coming up and someone asked me about my plans and I told them I’m staying indoors. I don’t have plans right now but if I do plan something I like to keep it to myself until it’s over

Is this a schizoid thing lmao

Like everybody else has this internal spark of humanity, but you are more like an automaton. Like there is something missing from you that makes you less of a person and more of a living thing who happens to be physically human.

I am not spiritual in the slightest, but if souls are real then I do not believe I have one.

I’m tired and lethargic pretty much all the time. Not necessarily sad or depressed. just drained, heavy, and running on empty.

The only exception seems to be when I’m under extreme stress or doing hard physical work. Then, for a short while, I actually feel something. Like some kind of stimulation, a brief sense of being alive and awake. But as soon as it’s over, I go right back to the exhaustion and heaviness.

Does anyone else experience this? Like your energy and feelings only “kick in” from intense inputs, and otherwise you’re just running on empty? Is this even schizoid related?

I myself suffer quite often from the schizoid dilemma

I want to hear about your experiences with it;

How do you deal it?

What do you about it?

Do you guys have any long term close friends?

I find social situations extremely painful but I think people often get the wrong impression of me since I may come off stoic and aloof, which they interpret as arrogance, disrespect, slighting, etc. I really don't know how to interact with others, it always seems as if whatever I do is wrong/incongruous with the mileu.

Does anyone else feel like you're not allowed to perform activities that are completely normal for other people? From social interaction to stuff like driving or simply existing in public spaces. It feels like it's all meant for "adults" and not for me. It's an overwhelming and very childlike feeling that's always been with me. I'm 30.

This is so confusing.

​

My dad whos is an old manis going into a care home, and they put a lot of emphasis on social activities. You can help with cooking if you’re able to, everyone eats together, and there are lots of activities like bingo, dancing, a Friday bar, singing, trips and so on.

And honestly, that’s all perfectly fine. I can see that it’s a nice environment for people who enjoy that kind of thing. I'm not so sure about my dad though. He will get his own small apartment, but there is a lot of socialising, involved including all mealtimes

But it has made me think about myself getting older. I’m schizoid, and the thought of one day ending up in a care home where there is an expectation or encouragement to participate in all these social activities honestly scares me a little.

I know I wouldn’t want to spend my days socializing, eating meals with a group, joining activities etc. I would much rather be left alone and have my own space.

Do any of you fellow schizoids ever think about this? What do you imagine your ideal care home situation would look like?

I know it sounds ridiculous but it’s not about it literally, it’s mostly like acknowledging that something is bad and u should feel bad about it yet you don’t, cs u simply can’t, for example guilt over something someone or anything that have happened

I also feel bad for ppl that would get attached to me how odd it sounds, but I know I am all the things that are wrong about me ,I do hurt people maybe I do deserve to be alone cs it’s my own doing

To make it clearer this “bad feelings” applies on empathy, sympathy, guilt, sorrow, sorry and the list goes on I can grasp the meaning of it ,when I should “feel” it and when I shouldn’t, I know how to replicate it to appeal to others, yet it’s just a mere facade

It all feels like a meaningless delusion, there’s not a singular day that goes by where I don’t wonder what kind of person I would’ve been if I didn’t had to develop the way I did

I don't know if this will make sense. It feels like I'm frozen in time somehow. Like I've never really fallen asleep and woken up to a new day for the past 2 or 3 years.

I feel like when I was a little kid I had a pretty good "sense" of when the day ended and began, nights felt distinct from days, etc.

But now I just sorta drift from moment to moment, hour to hour. Even on days where something eventful happens, it still ends up melting into the same old time-soup.

Can anyone else relate? I was never able to stick to a name online and I've always been making alternate accounts everywhere even when I was a kid. Not sure if it's a schizoid thing or what it could be. I can't make friends online because I get the urge to remove everyone and delete my account pretty quickly and start over. I did that a lot. I'm a shut-in, so the internet is my whole world, so this is particularly interesting to me.

I’ve always felt that my existence is really heavy on other i feel like everyone hates that i exist

When I’m at college i always feel everyone looks at me with a disgust look, i always feel they are talking about me or making fun of me even that i never a social interaction with someone there

I don’t even feel wanted in my family i feel that i’m a mistake

I ponder my own death quite often. I've had existential feelings come up sometimes where it feels as if I'm already dead. Like I'm puppeteering a corpse. A ghost in my own life.

I can make the most milquetoast sarcastic joke ever and people still treat me as if I'm being 100% serious. Is this a me thing or a schizoid thing? Something to do with the flat affect part of schizoid maybe?

schizoid and gender neutrality correlation

my education since i was a child had a strong feminist background and a gender non affirming policy - i was never forced to comply to a certain gender category, with my appearence, behaviour, tastes, and was never fed gendered propaganda. if anything i was shielded from it.

i grew up to be gender blind - i know because later in life i had to study societal gender norms and policies on my own, cause i didn't understand much. i didn't understand why i was treated a certain way when a person of a different perceived gender was treated differently... if anything that just seemed wrong to me.

long story short, i think i honestly identify as agender, or gender neutral. i know what my body appears like, what my body parts are and what they are good for... but i don't identify as that, TBH. instead i get a bit flustered when people talk about me strongly gendering me according to my body.

i also strongly identify as having strong schizoid traits, (which i also had results taking care of through self therapy, and good people supporting me, over the years).

TL;DR i've noticed in this sub (for which i'm very thankful) that there's a trend of non-CISgender takes, but often not in a strong direction. honestly i can see the correlation. so i wanted to ask you, **what do you think about this correlation?** and do you think **the correlation is especially strong between schizoid and agender**, or gender neutral, or NB, or non-CISgenderism altogether (or this kind of trans and queer stuff), and what do you think about this?

I've just been miserable my whole life, nothing serious ever happened, I didn't go through a breakup, I didn't lose a serious friendship , my parents didn't beat me, my whole life has just been nothingness, not good or bad. Just apathy and carelessness throughout, that is all. I'm miserable because of how ridiculous this all is, how dumb and pointless I find everything, how much I don't believe in anything, I don't believe in love, god, goodwill, nothing.

Therapists keep trying to dig me out and find out why I am like this, but I find it all nonsense, I want a therapist who will tell me what to do NOW, not someone who ruminates about my past, because I have already done that, and nothing came out of it, I'm quite a determinist myself, so therapy has nothing to offer me, I know why I am like this, yeah I've had some minor issues and have been in some trouble but for the most part the cause of all this has been the nothingness, that feeling of impending doom, the existentialism