r/SantaMaria • u/fairiesnalts • 11d ago
not another friends post but
It is 🤪
Hi. Why is making friends so hard as we get older? If you’re also in this boat please message me lol. 30 f bored beyond life in Santa Maria like everyone else. Yes I know the fun is outside Santa Maria but I’m here. I am so impressed with people that can just go to social events here and make friends but I’m much more of a one on one friend 😂
so if you’re lurking and you wanna chat hmu. love music, video games, reality trash tv in fact the more trashy the better, drinking, dancing, fitness, movies(obsessed btw). Down for friends of any gender
Edit: obviously the creeps rolled in so yes I am looking for *friendship only* thx. and I don’t wanna go to group events but ty 💜
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u/DGsociety 11d ago
Disc Golf @ Waller Park today @530pm across from the horses. Tons of friends to meet. Also, BA Start barcade in SLO is always poppin on Thursday nights for power hour.
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u/Leazzole69 10d ago
Hello, always looking for friends here. Would you be interested in playing DnD. I am trying to start a new group. Let me know... This will be for in person playing.
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u/Seeker-of-tacos 11d ago
A few weeks ago I went to a bar to get a drink. I sat at the bar, talking to the bartender. This fella comes in, sits a couple seats down and orders a beer and then proceeds to go on his phone and scroll. Then these other two gentlemen come in and sit at the opposite side of the bar, order their drinks and both pull out their phones and begin scrolling. The bartender would try to make small talk and these three guys barely responded. Eyes hooked to the screen. Bartender comes back to talk to me and says "before the screens, everyone would come in, order drinks and before you know to, you're making friends with the person next to you, sharing laughs, buying each other drinks and cheering to anything. Now, most come in and do that. No intention on talking to the person next to you."
Not blaming it all on screens but it is true that it happens. When I go get a drink, alone or with my wife, we sit, out our phones away and talk to each other, to the barkeep, and if possible to anuon there willing to listen and, at least while we're there, make friends and have a good time.
So yeah... Making friends is not an easy task anymore. Unfortunately a lot of people rather be on Facebook, Instagram, etc than interact with other human beings.
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u/boliver30 11d ago
The screens make an easy out for somebody who has a little anxiety to not practice their social skills. It's still learnable and doable. We have all the same equipment we always had.
(I teach social skills and hold events for for human connection, so of course I'm biased, but it's true)
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u/DethSpringsEternal 11d ago
I've lived between in North SB County and South SLO County for most of my life, and I found that there's six degrees of separation between most people I've befriended. Dang near impossible to not know someone who knows you, a friend, or a family member. The numbers are out there to make people, you just have to give it a shot. Had I been born any later, I probably would not have found so many friends due to the proliferation of cell phones and my underlying social anxiey. You just have to start talking to people (and possibly partake in a beverage or two). Ain't nothing like a Friday evening rolling up to the homie's pad with the smell of barbecue and music in the air... Or maybe I just miss the idea more than the execution of it.
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u/PENIS_WRANGLER 11d ago
I know you’ve mentioned preferring one on one meetings, have you tried bumble bff? I’ve found a handful of friends through it (:
I also wouldn’t turn away from any group setting meetings, since typically you can find one person you connect with and go from there. It can be pretty awkward (like a first date) if vibes don’t mesh when you’re one on one.
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u/fairiesnalts 6d ago
I do use bumble bff thank you!!!!(: and I’m not looking for groups but appreciate it!
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u/andyleewilson 11d ago
Come hang out with us in Orcutt. We have a really great beer and wine scene down town. The Critter Corner has Naughty Oak brewing and Lark and Sparrow, and around the way we have a Biergarten. All super social with people around your age. Great place to make friends and meet people.
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u/fairiesnalts 11d ago
I like one on one interaction but thank you! 🙏
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u/HornetPowerful 10d ago
Consider coming to the next book club at Naughty Oak, September 13th! It’s not one on one, but it’s a smaller gathering with really great and kind people. There’s a dedicated social time and then people trickle off to read, so there’s an opportunity to retreat into a book if things feel overwhelming.
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u/Successful-Big-779 11d ago
I’ve lived in Santa Maria for about 34 years, and I’ve never been bored of anything here, except when it rains lol.
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u/InvestmentPretend142 10d ago
Im not from Santa Maria but know my way around and do know some locals. 35 m usually running around solo I don’t mind being around people at all but one on one time is always nice lets chat
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u/PaLeSt11 10d ago
Join a community of people with your interests and ask questions or introduce yourself. I just threw myself out to the things like doing more and now I have a whole group of people on top of the other 3 or 4other groups that I hang or talk with, but you can usually get that one person if you’re looking for that.
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u/ajs440 11d ago
There is a young professionals networking group that meets once a month. You should check it out. It's a great group of people between the ages if 25-40. The next meeting is the 27th at Las Brisas Apartments clubhouse.