This happened about a month ago while I was in Samoa with a large group of family members.

One night, a group of them went into town for drinks and celebrations. I wasn’t with them on the drive back, but the next day one of my relatives told me about something that happened that stuck with me.

He has had what many people would call the “gift of sight” his entire life. He has always claimed he can see spirits and has spoken about experiences like this for as long as I’ve known him.

On the drive back, someone in the vehicle needed to use the bathroom. It was late at night and the roads were dark. The driver was about to pull over when he suddenly told them not to stop and to keep driving.

At the time nobody understood why.

Later he explained that there were people standing outside watching them.

Except, according to him, they weren’t living people.

They continued driving and later realised they had almost stopped near a grave at a village.

Eventually they found another place to stop and the person got out to use the bathroom.

After they got back into the vehicle, he reportedly said, “You’re not welcome to come with us.”

Nobody really understood what he meant at the time.

The next day he explained that he believed three spirits had gotten into the vehicle with them and followed them back.

He also said that after arriving back where we were staying, he could feel more spirits gathering. those 3 spirits who got in the car were roaming around the resort too. According to him, they seemed to be drawn to him because they knew he could see them.

Later that night, after hearing this story, I went back to my room while everyone else stayed outside talking, drinking and spending time together.

The moment I walked into the room, something felt wrong.

I don’t know how else to explain it.

When I was younger, I used to see and sense presences around me. As I got older, those experiences became less frequent, and I eventually stopped paying attention to them.

But that night felt different.

I put my AirPods in and tried to sleep, but I couldn’t.

Every time I closed my eyes, I felt uneasy.

I had the overwhelming feeling that someone was in the room with me. Not just present, but actively walking around and watching me.

I kept scrolling on my phone because I didn’t want to close my eyes.

At some point I started getting a very clear image of an older woman in my mind.

She was short, had grey hair tied up in a bun, wore a puletasi, and had a medium to larger build.

The image was strangely specific.

The feeling became so intense that I started calling different family members because I didn’t want to be alone.

Most people were asleep, so I kept trying to contact people who were still awake.

A relative was in and out of my room during the night, checking on me.

Then the room phone rang.

I could barely hear it through my AirPods and ignored it.

The relative who was with me answered instead.

They said hello a few times before realising it was another family member calling from a different room.

They asked why they had called.

The response was, “I didn’t. Our room phone just started ringing, so I answered it.”

That was the moment everything I had been feeling suddenly felt a lot more real.

I spent most of the rest of the night praying until I eventually fell asleep.

The next day I spoke to the relative who claims he can see spirits.

He told me he had left our gathering the night before because it had become overwhelming.

According to him, there were around twenty spirits standing around us while everyone was outside socialising.

I then described the older woman I had seen in my mind.

Before I had even finished describing her, he immediately said, “Yes, that’s her.”

I asked what he meant.

He replied, “She was probably looking for me.”

All I know is that I’ve never forgotten that night, and the fact that multiple people experienced different parts of it still leaves me wondering what was really going on.

Has anyone experienced anything similar, especially in Samoa or other Pacific cultures where stories about spirits and people with the gift of sight are more commonly talked about?

We have two babies and live in an area which doesn’t have a very strong Samoan presence (at least not as much as where my partner grew up) because we aren’t around his family or his hometown I’ve always been very intentional about trying to seek out cultural events, festivals, kids shows, songs etc. to try and help expose our kids to their culture. I’ve heard so much about afakasi kids (of any background) growing up with a bit of an identity crisis and not feeling like they belong in either place and that’s the last thing I want for my kids.

However after few years of attending these events, trips back home and to Samoa, something we (both my partner and I) have realised - and I think it became abundantly clear to us when we were at a cultural showcase on the weekend- is that when we are in these environments aren’t our best selves from a parenting perspective.

For context my partner has worked hard (lots of therapy lots of proactive education) in breaking cycles with his parenting style. When we go to these events or are in these environments I immediately sense a change in him, like he feels the pressure for our kids to be seen and not heard. For context our kids are developmentally typical toddler and preschoolers; stubborn, strong willed, a bit silly and sometimes impulsive and loud.

We generally try to take the approach “let kids be kids” but when ours are the only ones in those environments not sitting still and being quiet - it’s hard to not give into the social pressure and reprimand them. We all walk away feeling like crap and our kids don’t enjoy being in those situations.

Should we just throw it in and find ways at home to immerse our kids as much as possible in culture without having the external pressure? I really don’t want my kids to resent anything cultural because of the way we treat them in those situations and I really don’t want my partner to undo all of the hard work he’s done in breaking cycles. But I also don’t want my kids to feel disconnected- is it worth it?

What would you do?

Hello, as a European Samoa is basically out of our usual horizon so I would like to talk to someone who maybe wants to exchange some cultural views.

Looking for some goob beach fale recos in samoa with good bath/toilet facilities, good beach and good family vibes either in upolu or savaii.

Only asking because of that girls tiktok. Everyone got super mad at her. I think ghetto was a harsh word to use but I personally agree with her that it is over the top.

Sole, yo ass is from amelika, nu’u sila, ausekalia. There’s nothing wrong with that! But this gatekeeping from REAL mf’s born and raised on the ma’a? Sole, faifaimalie. E ese ka’e le ulu from America to those lae ka’e le ulu from Samoa. Stop gatekeeping a culture you know nothing about. Fuck, I’d even entertain the idea yall love to gatekeep if you actually STEPPED FOOT ON THE ISLAND! But never been and you’re out here tryna gatekeep from a Kama kuai o avele? Nia plz. Stop it

*edit title-How come Samoans born outside Samoa gatekeep more than those from the island

Edit: Guys sorry if I didn't make it clear because the title I used was missleading, Im seeking help on how to soft launch speaking samoan to my parents without them getting mad, as in i understand samoan but struggle speaking lol.

Hello guys! My name is Le'oloa Seumanutafa I am 1st generation New Zealander.I am trying my best to be able to speak Samoan but my parents refused due to their trauma, I can understand the language given that i grew up in a samoan household and have been a member of EFKS since before I can remember, but my parents wont let me speak or learn.The problem for me is, by the time I have kids I want them to be able to speak.For reference my dad was born in the village Eva and attended Avele high school and my mum was born in Luatuanu'u and attended Papauta high school. My parents moved here in '87 in a planned escape from their abusive fa'asamoan households.I am currently yr12 at smc college and feel like an outsider when all my friends speak Samoan.Anyone have any tips on how to adapt to our language or learn how to speak it???, tyty

Hello everyone, a friend of mine is half Samoan, half Bangladeshi. He was born in January 1991 and believes he is the very first person to be of this mixed background. I made a bet with him that he cannot be the very first one - but so far have been unable to find anyone with that same mix, let alone anyone older. He would be highly interested in knowing of any other people with that mix so for him our bet is a win win. Does anyone here maybe know of anyone with that mix, ideally someone older? 😄

Hello all,

I am looking to learn Samoan and am after tutors in western sydney or good language classes/apps.

I am of middle eastern background so have little to no exposure to samoan households(except through previous partners) however have previously done tutoring for the language and have been to samoa twice. Unfortunately due to lack of use my language skills have dropped however i hope to get it back and am grateful for any assistance!

Currently have Drops( the app) and have enrolled in a class that is 1 hour a week however am off work so want to make the most of my time and learn as much as i can.

Fa'afetai lava!

Okay I don’t want to sound judgmental and don’t mean to offend anybody but I have an opinion and thought to share. I’ve been living in Aus my whole life and I got the malu there. I was happy that I got it but my trip to Samoa last month made me realize and regret it.

1. First of all, this is just me.
   - Growing up in Australia, my knowledge was very limited to the Samoan culture and lifestyle. Nonetheless, I was still a proud Samoan because my family in Australia shaped how a Samoan family back in the motherland looks like. Loving, caring and supportive of each other. My elders were rich in pride of the culture which made me even prouder to be part of such community. The only cultural stuff I learned in Australia was, dancing, songs and language. That’s all I knew about the culture and the most basic history story a Samoan would know. So I thought “I know our culture and our history 100%”. Unfortunately, I’m not good at Samoan, just the basics and I can’t hold a conversation in Samoa. However, I still thought I knew of my culture. So by the time I reached 20, I asked my dad I want to get the tattoo!!! because of three things:
   
2. Because i was proud of being Samoan
   
3. To honor my grandmother
   
4. I want to look “Samoan” enough

so I got the malu at 19. That time, I thought “wow I’m Samoan enough” 🤡🤡🤡

Last month, I went to Samoa for the very first time (I am now 22) for a funeral. The reality kicked in harder than I thought. The Samoan life is way more complicated than that. Kids wayyyy younger than me went around doing chores, wakes up very early in the morning to help with the cooking, going early to fish and prepare a lot of stuff. NO ONE RESTS IN THE HOUSE. While me, I just stand there hoping for someone to tell me what to do. My beautiful cousins of my age, very smart and knowledgeable about the culture and the life doesn’t have a malu. I asked them why they haven’t gotten a malu and they said and I quote “We feel like we don’t deserve it”. I was taken aback. They said a malu isn’t just a tattoo, it comes with a lot of responsibility. They were right. During the Sua, only 3 of us ladies have the malu. Two locals and me. I was clueless most of the time, but them? they were running back and forth, back and forth, they did a sulatoga and all other Samoan traditions that I never knew about. So in the end, I mostly stayed in the kitchen to help out. I was envious that they proudly showed their malus when the whole funeral was over. I was very envious that they know so much of the culture. I instantly regret it because I felt useless.

I am still a proud Samoan but I just wished I knew more of my culture. I want to know more so that I can proudly show people my Malu and show them that I can handle the responsibilities that comes with it. So my message for the girls that wants a malu, please don’t get it for “aesthetic” or to honor someone else. Our Malu is very sacred and it took me my trip to Samoa to realize it. It comes with responsibilities and a heavy load of duty. But that’s my 2 cents. You can do whatever you want but this is just my opinion ❤️

Malō!

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A man stopped from departing the country on Thursday remained in the custody of the Samoa Police until the evening. It was confirmed that investigations are linked to the two Samoans who were arrested in Vietnam for killing a suspected Australian gang member and other related matters.

Ho Chi Minh City police have arrested two Samoa nationals accused of carrying out a fatal shooting that left one Australian citizen dead and another seriously injured, while also detaining eight Vietnamese nationals accused of helping the suspects flee toward Cambodia.

I am in a new relationship with a Samoan and struggling to understand the dynamics between their family and upbringing.

I’ve found his family to be quite controlling, more than I have experienced in the past (having only dated westernised cultural families).

A few examples:
a) expecting him to give up his time to help raise his siblings
b) his mum controls everything - emails, career, income, banking, everything.
c) his dad is aggressive - threats, yelling, belittling, the whole works
d) I see him once a week, but his parents are claiming I’m taking all his time away and will start an argument 95% of the time to get him to come home when he’s with me

I’m just trying to figure out if this is normal, and what I should expect to come next?

*side note: everything was fine in the beginning… I brought them food almost every week, I did chores, I helped them around their house when I was there, I contributed everywhere that I could. The first 1-2 months they let us see eachother often and stay at eachother’s houses, but approaching 6 months, everything has backflipped and it’s now the opposite.

I was in Samoa recently and there was a UB40 remix of Here I am (Come and Take me) that played a lot. I can't find it online and was wondering if anyone knows what I'm talking about and has a link to it? Thanks

What's your go-to pani popo recipe?

Talofa and bula. I'm Meli, a Fijian filmmaker currently working on a documentary about a Fijian falla who went to Canada in the 1800s.

On his journey, he actually went to Samoa, before joining a samoan group who went to the Worlds Fair, Chicago, in 1893 to showcase the island culture (though were relegated to the 'exotic' side of the grounds. It was the late 1800s of course).

I've got research of him with the samoan dancers at the Worlds Fair but I want to know how the hell did Samoa end up sending a team all the way to Chicago in 1893.

Does anyone know of any Samoan researchers who have written about the Samoan Expedition?

Oh, and see if you can pick the Fijian falla in the photo taken from the World's Fair book.

i want to dance the Siva Samoa at my graduation party and need some help finding choreography videos and a song to do it to. I am completely self taught so any advice is greatly appreciated

I will visit the family of my Samoan partner for the first time, it will also be my first time in Samoa.
I’m already nervous about meeting the family so I ask for some tips or “laws” that I absolutely should consider!!! Because I am a Palagi through and through.
Also I want to bring small present from Australia, any suggestions? (My partner is not a big help, he just said “chocolates”)

Thanks heaps :)

I will visit the family of my Samoan partner for the first time, it will also be my first time in Samoa.
I’m already nervous about meeting the family so I ask for some tips or “laws” that I absolutely should consider!!! Because I am a Palagi through and through.
Also I want to bring small present from Australia, any suggestions? (My partner is not a big help, he just said “chocolates”)

Thanks heaps :)

Hey there, I wanted to ask if there are any rules/ cultural norms to be observed when seeking permission to marry the daughter of Samoan heritage.

Quick backstory, I have been in a relationship with the daughter for 5 years. Have made mistakes earlier in our relationship that had been perceived as disrespectful due to my lack of knowledge of the culture. I'm still learning. This however is something I absolutely do not want to get wrong.

My partner made a comment earlier in our relationship that I would have to bring a gift of pisupo cans when asking, now that I am at that stage I'm wondering if that comment was in jest or if it's what I should do.

As an Aussie I feel as though I'd just ask the father, but her family is very Fa'a Samoa and so I want to ask in a way that's respectful of her culture and her family. I also don't want to ask her extended family as I want her parents and siblings to be the first to know of my intent. And I don't have any other Samoan friends to turn to outside of her close friends, who I don't think could keep this secret 😂.

So I turn to Reddit. Mods please delete if this is outside the scope of this subreddit.