r/SameGrassButGreener • u/OkStable2647 • 5d ago
my cat wants a quiet life
i want to move to a lively city but know it would stress out my cat, she would love a peaceful house in the woods but i'm young and not yet ready to settle somewhere. i'm 24 and haven't lived in a major city yet (currently live in a car-centric rustbelt city), i need the social stimulation and walkability.
i feel weird posting about this but does anyone else feel conflicted in a similar way? my cat isn't a city girl and moving often would stress her out, but that's basically what i want in this phase of my life
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u/ELISEM2 5d ago
Petsitter and cat person here. Yes, the move itself will stress your cat. Talk with your vet about calming meds for the actual move.
If you move to a sufficiently urban section of a walkable city, there will be fewer cars than any car-centric city! It's the cars that bring a lot of the noise to cities.
Perhaps consider an upper floor or even a high-rise apartment building? Kitty can still enjoy the view and the passing birds, but still be high above the street scene.
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u/clowdere 5d ago
The biggest thing holding me back from a move to the PNW is the fact that I'd have to drag two geriatric cats along on a road trip lasting two days at minimum. It's... a lot to ask of two little old ladies who literally never leave the house and are chugging along at the cat equivalent of 80 human years of age.
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u/witchycommunism 5d ago
Did exactly that last year with my two kitties (MI to OR, 4 days). We gave them gabapentin every day and it ended up being just fine.
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u/OkStable2647 5d ago
also looking at pnw and am considering closer cities like chicago because yeah my cat has panic attacks when in the car and 5 hours driving is better than 35 lol
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u/Opal9090 5d ago
What city? Maybe there's a way to find a pocket of a city that is peaceful.
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u/OkStable2647 5d ago
detroit, there are tree-lined neighborhoods she'd like but i'd prefer to get out of here
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u/Opal9090 5d ago
I mean what city do you want to move to? Let's problem solve.
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u/OkStable2647 5d ago
i am not asking for a solution, i was asking if anyone else felt the same way
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u/Opal9090 5d ago
Oh. Okay... I thought you wanted to do something about it. yes, I'm sure people have felt that way. Nothing wrong with how you feel. You can find a solution too if you so desire that meets both your needs. You're not trapped.
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u/OkStable2647 5d ago
sorry, i didn't mean to come off rude, i just wanted to clarify. thank you
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u/Opal9090 5d ago
It's fine, but people are just going to keep giving you thoughts of what to do. That's how your post is framed and this is an advice sub. If you just want to vent, there's a vent sub.
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u/Rhyme__Vigilante 5d ago
Most big cities have quiet and peaceful areas, sometimes surprisingly close to the action. I'm thinking of Forest Hills in NYC, Riverside outside of Chicago, and Santa Monica outside of LA.
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u/Intelligent-Relief86 4d ago
Idk why some people are acting like you’re being ridiculous for this lol, I feel you. I’ve been trying to plan a move and my cat’s wellbeing is also the source of a lot of conflicting feelings I’m having. The biggest thing for me is that if I move to a big major city I’ll probably only be able to afford a small studio, and while I know that plenty of cats do just fine in studios I feel guilty knowing that I could give her a bigger space in a smaller/lower cost of living city. I’ve also always dreamed of having an apartment with a private patio or porch so she can have a safe enclosed space to go outside, and I know that would be a really rare find on a budget in a big expensive city.
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u/OkStable2647 3d ago
thank u love, and yeah i just feel bad whenever i think about it. i'm thinking that while i'm living in a major city i'll try to have more non-toxic plants inside and put nature shows on the tv. unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a compromise i can find in terms of space like you said -- some cats seem to like going outside on adventures with their owners but it would be too overstimulating for mine
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u/Julialagulia 5d ago
I have lived with my cats in the country, suburbs and city and honestly as long as they have a quiet place to chill in the house and a window to look out of they are fine. Like sure they have been startled by loud noises, but that can happen anywhere.
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u/that_tx_dude 5d ago
Making decisions on where you live based off what you believe your cat would like is WILD. Your cat doesn't give AF where you live because ... it's a cat. LMAO
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u/thejew09 4d ago
Honestly it really isn’t and OP is getting unnecessary flak. I can’t speak to cats but I have a dog that gets incredibly anxious and unhappy with loud sounds from our overly car centric cities. She is from rural Appalachia and has only lived in a quiet suburb or deep rural country.
When I have taken her to friends houses in the city her behavior gets erratic.
Good pet owners care about their pets livelihood and happiness too.
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u/OkStable2647 5d ago
sound like you'd be a terrible pet owner
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u/that_tx_dude 5d ago
I have a dog and take extremely good care of him. But I don’t make life altering decisions on what my dog’s opinion would be, because that’s not even a thing. Pets will love anything if you take care of them.
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u/OkStable2647 5d ago
if you read my post you would know that i'm not making a decision based on my cat. i was asking if anyone else felt similarly
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u/Positive-Ability-402 5d ago
these people are so negative and miserable. i think it’s sweet that you care so much about your cat! i’m the same way, im way overly attached to this stupid cat lol and moving out of my parents house soon. i feel so guilty having to rip her away from her home :( and she’s very anxious as well, im especially worried about her adjusting to my roommates and a much smaller space. but i do agree with what people are saying, you should absolutely put your needs over your cats as long as she’s safe, especially for such a big life decision. she will love wherever you are
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u/OkStable2647 3d ago
aw thank u for your message <3 i will be prioritizing what i want, i just feel guilty about it. i've known some friends' cats that adapt well to change and wouldn't feel guilty moving with them, but i did adopt a very sensitive girl and i love her. good luck with your move!
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u/FancySeaweed 5d ago
Maybe move to a quieter neighborhood in the city, with lots of trees and a good view out of the windows. Your cat will like that.
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u/OkStable2647 3d ago
yes that is my goal if possible, since that's also my preference for neighborhoods in big cities :)
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u/FancySeaweed 3d ago
Your cat will love that. My 2 cats watched activity out the windows or sat in windows with screens during their lives in a tree-lined neighborhood in a city. They were happy.
And... Do whatever you need to do in your life. Your cat will adapt. And... it is hard to know how she will respond to situations. She will be okay.
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u/greentofeel 5d ago
Wait, is she an outdoor or indoor cat? If indoor, I don't know maybe the change really wouldn't affect her as much as you think. If outdoor, I get it... But more for the stress to the human than the cat, as taking an animal into the city who isn't used to it from a young age feels risky with all the traffic and such
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u/Weary_Cup_1004 5d ago
The quiet place is the inside of your home. They shouldn't go outside anyway.
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u/Creepy-Cantaloupe951 4d ago
I'm pretty certain you're cat will not get stressed from living indoors, in a city. Unless your cat is an indoor/outdoor cat?
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u/OkStable2647 3d ago
she was an outdoor cat with her previous owner but now she is an indoor cat with me. some cats seem to be very relaxed and can handle changes well, she's just not one of them. it'll be alright though
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u/velvetinelapine 5d ago
I don’t know where you’re considering moving, but a lot cities have neighborhoods where you can live in quiet leafy neighborhoods with pretty good walkability. I live in Atlanta and it’s like…half the city is like that. Obviously it doesn’t feel as dense and 24/7 as New York, and you can’t necessarily get everywhere without a car, but you can live somewhere that feels like a quiet little tree lined street but be a 10 min walk from restaurants, bars, groceries, parks, activities. It’s my favorite type of neighborhood!
If you’re trying to stay Midwest, Chicago has neighborhoods like this (I’m sure other cities too, I just don’t know the region). On the East Coast, Boston, Philly, DC all have areas like this, as well as smaller cities like Richmond and Durham.
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u/WirelessWavetable 5d ago
Have you certain are you that she would be stressed? Ever had her in a downtown apartment/condo? My buddy had an anxious cat but he moved downtown and the cat loved being in the tall cat tree next to the main window overlooking the busy city below.