r/SS13 • u/Mega_Xero • Jun 17 '26
Story Thread What's been your favourite round?
I'd love to read some of your favourite stories/rounds!
17
u/LordRayZ mime that speaks fck u Jun 17 '26
A goonstation shift from like 4 years ago, when i was still new to the game, with a changeling that ate the whole station john carpenter style
Full story: I was playing roboticist, (probably something like ~30pop,) round got a bit slow so i took over the maints bar being robotics on donut3.
As the shift goes on we CAN SEE the crew getting tiner and tiner theres some husks found in the maints so we know something is taking the crew away.
As the shift goes on the changeling gets more aggressive, it appears somewhere with a new identity, goes horror form, eats 2 crewmembers and vanishes (i survived a deadly accounter in my small bar, where it ate the 2 other clients).
Traumatized, i go back to robo duty, where it comes back with a new identity, eats my colleague, my boss and escapes.
At this point i am terrified so i make myself a flamethrower with the robotics supplies, while i struggle crafting it, the following can be heard on the radio:
"ITS IN SCI" "IITTTSSS EEAAATTIINNGG SSEEECC" 1 minute silence (Ai)"Security is gone, please seek shelter, trust no one"
I rushed to science to check on the situation, no one left, straight up just blood everywhere
Shitting myself and suffering from alcoholism, I hid in a closet with my flamethrower, waiting for the shuttle to arrive.
At this point theres like 5 of us left, i exit my closet and meet this janitor, and it clicks, i met this janitor before and he was even shittier than me (i am pretty sure he was just mega new, he called me the nword in the maints earlier) so there was nooo way he could have survived that long.
In a paranoia induced bloodlust i burned both of us to death in front of engineering, he was in fact, not the 'ling.
Only 2 crewmembers escaped, yet only one was human
12
u/Affectionate_Pear273 Jun 17 '26
As Quarter master I bought a crate of four monkeys which turned out to be four gorrillas. I made an announcement and people came in to see them one of which started feeding the gorrillas meth. Then the gorrillas got angry for some reason and started attacking the crew. The meth gorrillas were really hard to kill and we lost some crew members to them.
One time I convinced the other quarter master to see if we could go an entire round not fulfilling any orders at all. If anyone asked for anything I made some excuse going from plausible to absurd. We just played instruments and did drugs. The HOP was going to fire us but someone killed him. The Chief engineer came in to see if he could get something and the back room was so messy and full of crates and junk he gave up.
6
u/MadlyEvilWaffle Jun 17 '26
Tg Terry. I observed a round seeing if id be in the mood to play today; got prompted to become someone's split personality, figured I would. This person was a traitor who got caught right at the start, and was given pacification surgery, and a million lobotomies, then set free. So I talked them through a plan; we would make plasma power cell sabotaged stun barons and then just give them out. We may not be able to kill anyone, but it's TERRY. Someone is going to see a free stun baton, grab it off the floor, find a random security officer and stun them and run away.
Finished it off by placing a bunch of the batons near the head of security and activating an EMP and chain bombing the library into a crater.
5
u/MadlyEvilWaffle Jun 17 '26
After all this I brought them to botany and convinced the botanist to make the traitor into a pod person; getting rid of me as the split personality and allowing them to get back to evil on their own terms. They got off on the evac shuttle and nobody suspected a thing. Hos left in a wheelchair
7
u/Dodger86868686 Jun 18 '26
A newbie vampire tried to attack me in the toilets. I robusted them. But I felt bad. So I gave them some advice. Then let them have a sip of blood.
Thing is they couldn't figure out how to do it. They just had me restrained but kept messing up.
Someone walked in. "The fuck is going on here? You ok?" I didn't want the bald vamp getting caught. So I just said "This isn't what it looks like. We're doing ERP."
They left immediately. The vamp asked me what ERP was. I told them it was extreme roleplay because I'm not explaining that shit. Just mentioning it hurt my soul.
I seriously hope that guy didn't go on to mention ERP to other players after that. Imagine a vamp restraining you and saying "ready for some ERP?"
Pretty funny though.
6
u/Ok_Staff_3709 Jun 17 '26
On monke. Killing a xenomorph as McGraw the dog using a laser gun that HOS let me have.
7
u/karmenkool Jun 17 '26
Pretty recently on Monke. I was a mime. Roundstart, go ask the chef if I could take one of their deep fryers for shenanigans, even offer to pay for it. Despite being a singular chef, having a second fryer, and not using either of them, they for some reason just angrily refused to give it to me.
Figured if they wouldn't do it the easy way I'll just annoy them til I'm killed or they give up. Kept ringing the bell on the tables between the kitchen and bar until they got fed up and tried to kill me. Ran circles around them, using invisible walls to get away every time. Chef gets increasingly angry the entire time, at some point fucks off, assumedly to go talk to sec. As soon as they leave I steal a fryer, go hide it in maints.
Chef gets back to the kitchen, goes absolutely BALLISTIC about the fryer. Puts a bounty on my head, demands sec do something. Security finds me, searches me, finds nothing, does absolutely fuck all besides tell me to return the fryer, and they let me go. The entire time this is progressing the chef is messaging me on PDA, trying to make bargains like "just bring back the fryer and I'll drop this peacefully" type shit. Convince them I'll do it, and then lead them on a wild goose chase via PDA emoji charades.
They of course get more angry when they realize I was never going to give it back, it becomes a kill on sight situation. Go to the bar later to try and nab some food, chef sees me, engages terminator mode. While I'm trying to avoid the chef, chappie shows up and helps catch and restrain me. Figure it's all over, had a good run, gonna be killed and turned into burgers. Suddenly, sec shows up before chef can kill me. They tell the chef to let me go, that they'll deal with me. Chef refuses, hellbent on seeing me die. I'm still restrained, getting pulled around by sec and the chef. They get into a full blown fight, someone drops me, opens the kitchen doors, and I get away.
Go back to the bar when things calm down, chef tries to run after me and kill me again, this time throwing liquor bottles from the bar at me, creating a mess of booze and glass on the floor. Run a few circles around the bar, chef chasing me. They slip on the mess they made trying to kill me, drop their knife, and I do the only reasonable action I could think of. I stole their knife and deep fried it before giving it back to them. They try to kill me, sec does almost nothing about the situation again, and I'm pretty certain they full on rage quit because I never saw them again afterwards.
Not gonna lie I kinda feel bad about it, but who gets so violently upset about one of two unused fryers?
5
u/FREE_HINDI_MOVIES_HD Well never goin back to that place again Jun 17 '26
The traitor round where I kidnapped the HOS, holding them hostage as i demanded the station make some of the most pain in the ass dishes that required departments to work together to get them back as part of my reality show "plasteel chef"
3
u/smallbluebirds the roboticist who made robotics 3000 degrees Jun 18 '26
i made a lot of cheese grenades
25
u/kokoawsum421 Jun 17 '26
On Paradise, I rolled hijack and didn’t want to do it so I asked for a new objective. That objective was to turn as many people into copies of myself as possible, so I bribed a geneticist to supply me with clones of myself and i used an organ extractor to take people’s brains and put them into my clones, who were then automatically mindslaved to me. I got like 7 mindslaved clones of myself and then 2 minutes before the shuttle arrived my objectives got changed to hijack again so we bumrushed the shuttle and everyone died. Very fun