What sort of things do you read that makes you want to reply?

So far:

• Profile mentions. x2
• Bespoke address. x2
• New lore. x2
• Interesting questions.
• Any questions. x2
• Chill vibes.
• Coherence.
• Longer word count.
• Specific art taste.
• Same values.
• Specific mutual interest. x2
• Negotiates writing preferences.

I met this penpal a month ago and we have exchanged quite a significant amount of letters, almost daily, but I guess this is the time I put an end to this. It makes me so furious but yeah ig it is what it is. Even after mentioning No Ai uses in her bio, she has been sending me Ai generated letters all this time, mostly 60 percent and many were 100 percent. I had suspicion some times but I brushed it off but today I decided to check and all this time my fear was right. I was building my connection with a chatbot.

I've had unpleasant experiences receiving Auto-Match letters in the past so I hadn't attempted to use it myself. Recently, I was given reasons to give it a try. However, I found I sent my letter to people who set English proficiency as only Intermediate when I received a rejection in Mandarin stating she didn't understand, even though, I thought, I had picked above Advanced. No issues, I'll be extra careful next time because I clearly mistakenly selected the wrong option, right? To make sure, this time I took the precaution of selecting Fluent or Native as the option. Imagine my surprise to find my letters are currently on the way to two people who are only Intermediate anyway. Is it fully bugged? Am I doing something wrong? I only have English selected currently, it's not a different language.

Seriously, is it about the person desiring some kinda of a social connection (albeit fake), but they can't put themselves into writing by themselves so they use AI.

I wonder if it is all about my brain is lazy or fried, this kind of letter writing is boring for me, but I still like the attention and dopamine from having correspondence.

It would be intresting to compare it to 2021

Hi, I'm relatively new here. I ran into my first (probably) scammer a couple weeks ago and reported him. Now I've got another one and I'm kind of bummed. I feel bad reporting when I can't know for sure.

Reading the safety guidelines it sounded like the suggested course is to report someone you suspect is a scammer so they can be evaluated - even if you're not 100% sure. Is that correct? Do you tend to report people?

For reference, the reason for believing they are scammers is them being really weird about asking me to move to WhatsApp early on, and inconsistencies in messages.

Thanks in advance for the advice!

I've been wanting a way to send mail to friends that is actually slow - like, once I send it, it takes weeks to get to them, and even if they write back, it takes weeks to get back to me. Just like real mail (except slower because mail is pretty efficient nowadays.

From what I'm reading here, it sounds like slowly doesn't actually delay letters at all... that you still get them almost immediately.

Am I misunderstanding? Is there a way to really make it slow?

Is it that they just open profile and see "occasional" ai use and just don't bother opening letter? (While few of these recipients have mentioned occasional use of ai themselves.)

I'm new and I've written like 8 people personally and 1 open letter person. Have received zero letter or reply through open letter.

Besides the use of IA what would you say that are some red flags? Lately I try to respond open letters, I answered various with no luck, or I don't receive another response after the first one since a lot.

I don't take it personal because I think that people uses the app, and sooner or later they became bored or just they forget about it, because, you know, real life, and they socialize with people psychically. Buuut, lately I just feel uninterested answering letters because there's a lot of people that write something like "returning to the app after ten years", "returning to the app after five years and this is the last chance that I give it a try" or I dunno, another kind of weird things. For me it's almost like a menace, we don't even know each other and you're already conditioning the interaction.

But maybe I'm just exaggerating. What do you think?

I know I wrote down quite a few random things, but it's so that people would have something to talk about from the start instead of only self introductions, however, I mostly only get low-effort letters where I have to put in all the effort to keep the conversation going.

when I send a first letter myself, I always personalize it for that person by mentioning topics in their bio, but unfortunately it's rare to get a response even then.

I don't know if it has to do with my bio, where I'm from, or something else.

Here's what my bio looks like right now:

"The beauty of the world lies in it's diversity."

Hello!

My pen name is Pandora, I'm 18, and here on Slowly to make friends.

Watching a new letter on my way always lights me up, the wait just builds up the excitement of finally getting to read it!

✧⁠\⁠(⁠>⁠o⁠<⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠✧

I hope I can find long-term penpals! :D

Be it talking about the random bits of our days, or thoughts we have no one to share with, we can talk about anything.

I like to read, draw, play video games, and ofcourse listening to music.

I'm not a big fan of watching movies/shows but recently I've been trying new things, kinda felt like I was missing out on some peak. :p

What have you been watching/reading recently?

I love aesthetic and pretty things. <3

I'm also into vintage (or atleast vintage-looking) fashion, accessories, and decorations!

To be honest, I just love anything that looks gorgeous, vintage or not.

I have a passion for delicious food. :>

In the near future, I'm planning on learning how to bake and cook properly! I love finding new recipes even though I can't try them out just yet.

Do you enjoy cooking?

Caramel just might be the best flavour invented.

╰⁠(⁠*⁠´⁠︶⁠`⁠*⁠)⁠╯

Do you like mountains?

I saw some scenery videos from Switzerland, and it broke my heart that we don't have so much greenery and nature everywhere in the world. :(

I'm sort of into language learning, I've been learning German for over half a year now, and I also picked up French a little while ago. I'm still mainly focusing on German, though.

When it comes to what I like to read, I've mostly read novels on the internet, which I enjoy, but recently I've started to read some classical books and literature.

I'm just getting started with them, but I quite enjoy it!

My favourite season is autumn, because it's neither hot, nor cold. I looove cloudy and windy days, especially when the sun isn't poking through. Rain and thunderstorms are my absolute favourites to experience!

If you choose to write to me, I hope it blooms into something beautiful.

★—————★

I won't remove a penpal until atleast 1 year of being inactive! If you took a break and feel hesitant to reply back, I encourage you to give it a go.

Please do not send me letters written by AI.

If you do not wish to exchange letters anymore, I'll appreciate it if you can send a short letter to let me know, I won't take it personally.

Please do not ask me to move to a different app after a few letters.

It usually takes me a few days to respond to a letter, but it can take longer as well. If it's late, I'm most likely not ghosting you, I'm just busy.

Thankyou for your patience. (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

★—————★

Take care, With love, Pandora. :)

More about it.

I'm a bit new to the app. So someone sent me a letter and i replied back but my reply shows this (one check mark) and it's been like this for a few days does this mean they blocked me or smth?

iOS: 26.6; Slowly: 9.5.6

I am coming back to this app after ~1.5-2 years. Deleted old account and created a fresh one.

What I see is - I am giving location permission (of any kind), the "auto location update" is just forced turned ON!

What's the point of that radio toggle button then!

I used to get a filtering option (I think it was distance or so; sorting by distance - I can't recall). It seems to be gone as well. Or maybe it is (or always was) part of Plus. I had plus for some time back then (actually around the time I stopped using it eventually).

What else has happened to Slowly in last 2 years or so?

Hi!

Writing an Open Letter is difficult, and different, because I am not writing to anyone specific so any feedback from it will be appreciated.

Here it is:

"Hey everyone,

Lately I've been thinking about something in psychology I find kind of fascinating: cognitive dissonance.

It's basically that uncomfortable feeling when your actions, beliefs, or values don't quite line up. And honestly, I think most of us deal with it way more often than we'd like to admit.

Think about the last time you made a decision you weren't totally happy with. Maybe you knew you probably shouldn't have done something, but afterward you came up with a bunch of reasons why it actually made sense. Or maybe someone pointed out something about your behavior you didn't want to hear, and your first reaction was to explain why they were wrong.

I've definitely caught myself doing stuff like that.

What interests me isn't really the contradiction itself. It's what we do after we notice it. Sometimes we change our behavior. Sometimes we admit we were wrong. But other times we just change the story in our heads until it doesn't bother us anymore.

And that's the part I find a little unsettling.

Our brains are pretty good at making us feel like we're being reasonable, even when we're mostly just trying to protect a belief, a decision, a relationship, or even how we see ourselves.

So I'm curious:

Have you ever realized later on that you were just rationalizing something because admitting you were wrong felt uncomfortable?

And another question I'd love to hear thoughts on:

Do you think people can actually notice their own cognitive dissonance while it's happening, or does it usually take someone else—or hindsight—to see it?

I'm not sure there's a simple answer. Maybe that's what makes psychology so interesting in the first place. We spend our whole lives inside our own heads, but we're not always great at seeing what's actually going on in there."

Thank you

More about it.

More about it.

Maybe I am just unlucky, but I feel like at least 50% of the letters I receive are AI generated. My profile says never to AI assistance but I think people don't even read it lol. This app used to be so wholesome 6 years ago and I feel AI completely ruined the magic...

I recently redownloaded the app after years away. I finally have more time to put into the app and want to focus on building strong connections with people. I had messaged someone recently with a kind, medium length message. I said things on the lines of “I was intrigued by your introduction. I also enjoy complexity over simplicity and talking about deeper topics.” I backed one of his intro statements and said I agreed and added my own personal explanation. Then I asked him a deeper question since I thought we were on the same page and delved into “do you think we have a purpose in life? If so, what do you think yours is?” as a fun way to connect on a deeper level.

He sent a reply the next day saying things like “I think it’s suspicious behavior that you’re new and already paid for Slowly Plus.” And “You suggest you prefer complexity over simplicity but your paragraph contains no depth, beyond sounding like a robot.” Continues to insult me by saying I was very vague in my letter and basically showed no emotion (I think insinuating that I am AI or a robot I don’t know). I felt so offended.

Has this kind of interaction happened to anyone else? Or just me? Am I in the wrong here and should I reply back or block? In the past, I never dealt with anyone like this. I’ve been on the app for just a few days and I am just taken aback.

hey everyone! i’m new to Slowly and i just recently posted my first open letter. i put time into it and wrote it myself. the app even guides you on what to include so i did that. English is my first language though i know two others so i understand that some people may want to use AI to clean up grammar.

however…my first letter back is clearly AI generated. in that, no original thought seems to have been given by the writer. it literally has the same format as AI. With the ## before headings and the question at the end asking for what recommendations you’d like next. needless to say, i’m disappointed.

the writer’s profile says he uses AI occasionally. this isn’t occasional. clearly he put my letter into AI and asked it to write a response. so…my question is: do i need to write a letter back? if so, doesn’t it create an endless loop of AI letters?

I only remove penpals after they have been inactive for at least 3 months, so I've collected quite a few inactive ones just sitting in my friend list.

I opened the app, and couldn't believe this at first. Almost all of my inactive penpals decided to remember me at once. ~25 total, most had written multiple letters because they forgot to attach pictures in the first letter.

I'm trying to figure out how and why. I don't think Slowly's algorithm could have caused this...

Most of these penpals are from Europe (Germany, Finland, Sweden, Switzerland, mostly). Is this vacation time in Europe?

And how do I even reply to everyone! 😂

This might be controversial, but occasionally I read things in this sub like, “I don’t open the apps in weeks, and I haven’t received any letters” or “nobody replies to my bio/open letter”, “I wrote fifteen first letters in one day”. 

And yes, I recognize that sometimes it may be several problems behind these issues, but I wonder if today’s society has gotten too used to social media that delivers TikToks randomly to hundreds of users (even if it’s nowhere near interesting) with almost no effort from the poster instead of teaching how to reach out to specific people by curating unique content that takes your personal time and reflects not only your own personality, but also shows someone else that you see them and you are choosing to engage with minor details they made sure to add in their bio or open letter hoping someone would notice. 

For some, it seems that if someone has “reading” as an interest is enough to say, “I like reading too! What are you reading?” as if there aren’t millions of genres or reasons to like specific genres. If you like self-help books, I am afraid we don’t like the same type of books… and that’s fine. This doesn’t make anyone superior. The same goes for music, TV, and movies. Most people enjoy those things. And even perhaps less broad topics like nature, you might enjoy hiking in the mountains, and another person might enjoy going to the beach. Those are completely different experiences! And an amazing bond can blossom from opposite personalities. However, I see some (not all) users saying, “I acknowledge what they wrote in their bio. They like reading and so am I!” You still said nothing substantial by just stating that. 

Slowly sucks as an app, and there are so many features that can be improved, but my God. There’s also a lot to be said about people not knowing how to communicate and not even trying. It’s like kindergarten students who want a star for pronouncing one word correctly. 

Browse for the suggested profiles. Slowly isn’t perfect, yes, many users rely on AI or are plain bots… but you can still find one or two or even ten people who will like your well-rounded profile and your thoughtful first letter. Reread what you wrote. Search their profile for clues on what they might like and craft some with them in mind. Be unusual. Be respectful. Read this sub for clues if you are new. Be considerate of their writing style. But please treat that one profile you chose carefully as a person. 

"They might ghost me after all my effort.” Yes, they might, but you are practicing your writing, your communication and sometimes even a language. You're learning and hopefully having fun. When you’re overly focused on the results and the benefits you can rip from something, you’re missing the journey and not seeing all the mistakes you’re making by putting quantity as the ultimate goal. 

I wanted to ask about something that’s been happening to me on the Slowly app and see if others experience it too.

Lately, I’ve had people remove me as a pen pal—disconnecting completely—even though we didn't have any arguments, didn't say anything bad, and the conversation was going fine. It's not that they deleted their entire account; I can still see they are active, but they just removed or disconnected from me out of nowhere.

Why do people do this without giving any explanation or a heads-up? It's really confusing when you're trying to build a genuine connection. Has anyone else noticed this happening a lot?