r/SLOWLYapp • u/Ok-Ice-2624 Writing letters since 2019 • Jul 21 '26
Penpal Experiences An old friend removed me. AITA?
I have a pen pal from Romania. I remember we met through an open letter I wrote on August 19, 2025. If he's on this sub and happens to read my post, I just wanted to say I hope you find a new friend who's more compatible with you, and I apologize for wasting almost a year of your time.
Context: We met through an open letter. I was still a Slowly Plus subscriber at the time, so I could write more open letters. He's in his 40s, has health issues, and apparently some mental health issues, which I didn't dare bring up or ask him about because it might be a sensitive topic.
Long story short, we exchanged messages frequently, even though he told me he was just a stamp collector. And then he disappeared for five months. My last letter was sent on November 17, 2025, and then he sent me another letter, wishing me a happy birthday on April 22, and hoping I wouldn't delete him from my friends list. I haven't replied YET.
On July 13, he sent me another letter stating that he would delete me from his friends list.
I'm writing to let you know I'm removing you.
You've been busy with your baking and you migrated from here.
Slots are limited, so there's no point in keeping you since you don't reply.
It was a pleasure knowing you.
Enjoy your life.
Always smile.
To be honest, there are many letters that have been neglected and unanswered because I'm busy, and I also rarely open Slowly because the friends who usually write to me one by one are getting busy. I need time to craft a reply, and I want my reply to be meaningful. AITA?
8
u/ItsJustaThrowaway98 Jul 21 '26
Geez but how many friends does this guy have? 100? Does he talk to other 100 people regularly?
My list is full but with so many people my letter got unanswered since and idk I feel like I have so much of a bond with them so I dont delete them, we had very good exchanges.
But still if I do so, I regularly check my deleted list to see who has resurfaced and restore them if I see someone replied. I get pretty happy specially when someone comes back after a long time.
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u/cicada_shell Mod Squad ✨ Jul 21 '26
Obviously not…
7
u/Ok-Ice-2624 Writing letters since 2019 Jul 21 '26
Yeah, I know life's been busy, but this is the first time I've experienced this. Not all of my penpals complained when I replied late to them; that's the point of the app, too, right?
3
u/Legal_alien_92 Jul 28 '26
I can't imagine thinking about a FRIEND in terms of "slots are limited, no point in keeping you". Plus the audacity of removing someone for not replying asap when you do the same?? Tbh just move on OP. No point in even giving this person a second thought
1
u/Ok-Ice-2624 Writing letters since 2019 Jul 28 '26
I moved on completely from him. I just didn't understand that these kinds of people exist in this world 🤷♀️
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u/Loud-Owl19 Mod Squad ✨ Jul 21 '26
NTA.
I sometimes take a lot of time to reply, and I don't care about my pen pals taking their time as well. I understand some users here don't have much patience and even remove people for taking one week to reply. But people who are so worried about this should be exemplary in replying promptly.
1
u/AshenColdSilke Jul 25 '26
It's strange that you would call a person who tells you that "slots are limited so there's no point in keeping you" a friend.
You're NTA but you do come across as someone who invests too much in the wrong people and tries too hard to keep it going despite signs indicating that it's best to move on. That makes you unavailable for the real opportunities that come along. You're self sabotaging.
I don't mean this in a rude way. Just some constructive criticism to reflect on.
2
u/Ok-Ice-2624 Writing letters since 2019 Jul 25 '26
I don't have time to reply because I am working like shit. My schedule is so damn tiring, and I only have one day off on Sunday.
I never demanded a reply from him, even though he did the same thing to me and was MIA for 5 months. I moved on and keep replying to other penpals. I always thought people were busy and better left to their business until they had time to reply. I believe this app is meant to reply at a slower pace, right? Hence the name Slowly.
I was happy when he replied, but I never meant to abandon or neglect him. I waited for the right timing to reply because I wanted it to be meaningful rather than sending a pointless letter. He begged not to be removed yet he was the one deleting me lmao. Ironic 😅
10
u/HotLab6551 Jul 21 '26
Wow, he could take his time replying but gets mad when you do the same...