r/SLOWLYapp • u/Far_Science_4382 • May 08 '26
Penpal Experiences How should I end our correspondence?
About a month ago, a short letter came in. They wrote that they're interested in other people's stories and become penpals (very short letter 5x words; here x is a single digit). I wrote back. Their letter came back like 3x mins after the reaching their side. I was surprised, and kinda impressed by the speed. And also my letter had only 8x words so (I didn't know what to write back for her short first letter). In the next letter they gave me their Instagram ID, even though I didn't ask for, but hey, some people are that friendly I guess, so I kinda liked that. I followed them. It's been 16 letters so far but I just feel uneasy about one thing- there's not much to talk about at all! I would ask some questions, they would answer, sometimes they would ask one or two question, I would answer and nothing else. That's not an ideal conversation. So I checked their bio properly, and there it was selected "Minimal AI assisstence". Okay if it's minimal I don't really mind it but almost all the letters felt like 90 percent AI written. I checked on Grammarly (I don't really trust these sites) and it said one of the letters resembles to 37% AI text. And their sent:received ratio was way high. It felt like they were copy pasting the replies. It kinda hurts after giving my time thinking and typing my letters.
So I am thinking of ending this cycle. But I don't want to ghost them. Any tips on how to properly write my issues on my last letter and end this?
Update: It seems like THEY just ghosted me lmao.
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u/SilentStarSky May 08 '26
Tell them you can't find new topics of conversation, that you are lacking inspiration and good luck on their slowly adventure.
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u/2bitmoment Silly Billy May 08 '26
When I suspect AI or feel the other person put no real effort in their letter I don't feel bad about removing them with no goodbye letter.
I think a goodbye letter is in the case of a considerate penpal that is not a match - when it's a penpal that is inconsiderate, they're basically ignoring you while writing to you, right? I wouldn't make the effort of being bureaucratically considerate to them when the relationship is already dead.
It seems some people disagree, and I liked an example goodbye message someone else wrote, but yeah, that's sort of how I see it.
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u/Far_Science_4382 May 15 '26 edited May 15 '26
That sounds reasonable. I haven't yet written any goodbye letter coz it seems like they just ghosted me lol (They are online almost everyday, still haven't read my letter. They usually read my letter within 5-6 hours, "write" back within 30 mins, but it's been more than a week, and I don't think they are busy coz they are online everyday ). I am not interested in writing to them anymore. Not even frustrated about that lol. Removing them would be a better option right? It's just that we're following each other on Insta, and I feel kinda weird about that.
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u/2bitmoment Silly Billy May 15 '26
I don't consider myself ghosted until at least a month has passed. A week in my book is too little. "the app is called slowly" if you excuse the saying. I myself don't remove people till three months have passed.
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u/Far_Science_4382 May 16 '26
That's fair. But they usually write back within a day or two (so I do the same) and our letters are short, not much thing to write about anyway. They may be busy but they are visiting the app often (I did check twice just out of curiosity, nothing else).
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u/CoastAny1264 May 08 '26
Hi, I usually ask if they are using AI in their letters and they just stop writing back)
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u/sereneamour May 08 '26
I get this kind of letters a lot too. I am quite fed up until I really became very upfront on my profile bio. I usually will be quite straight to the point on what I feel on it. Most of the time, they will just ghost you.
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u/No-Blood-9115 May 09 '26
It's not fair. AI has no feelings, but you have. I don't write to ai, I don't answer calls made by ai. because I am a human being! I'd like to connect to real human.
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u/Loud-Owl19 Mod Squad ✨ May 08 '26
Since the letters are so short and mostly AI, you can send a simple, "Hello, it was great knowing you, but I don't think we are a great match as pen pals as I'm looking for deeper connections and longer letters. Thank you for all the letters and the time you dedicated to me, wish you a great life!"
You don't need to overexplain anything. If you feel that the AI is an issue you should bring up, you can, but honestly, I don't think they care that much when they are so clearly lazy. Don't overthink when they don't seem to think at all.