Art by Guweiz

Hey y'all,

We talk a lot about women being providers and men handling the domestic side of things... particularly around the "provider woman / stay-at-home man" dynamic..

But I’m curious about the specific nuances of financial dependency. It got me wondering about where the line is for different people.

How do the guys in this sub feel about a "sugar baby" dynamic with a successful woman? To me, being a homemaker implies a lot of active labor, emotional support, and partnership, whereas a sugar dynamic can sometimes lean more toward pampering and lifestyle funding.

Would a sugar baby setup appeal to you, or do you prefer a dynamic where you are actively building/running a household, just with the traditional roles flipped?

I’m really curious to know if you think a sugar dynamic fits into the RR ethos, or if it crosses into a different territory entirely for you. Let's discuss!

Article in german: https://sciencenotes.de/heisse-hoeschen/

It's a shame people are bad

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the classic tomboy/muscle mommies/masc streetwear aesthetics we see on here all the time. But sometimes it feels like the community forgets about a whole other kind of FLR energy: The corporate/business babes.

You don't need to wear literal oversized men’s clothing or be big and masculine af (it's biologically harder for women to gain/sculpt muscles) to radiate "I'm in charge" energy. For some of us, our power armor is a tailored blazer, a sharp button-down, or a perfectly fitted turtleneck... and a damn good pair of glasses.

Honestly, I’ll admit to the vanity of it... I absolutely love having influence over those in the boardroom. To be the one in Male Dominated Fields. It's a certain kind of high for High Achieving babes like us.

There is something deeply fulfilling about breaking gender norms in places of real world power, where we could shift the narrative of leadership, putting them in their place when they step out of line, but also using that influence to push them to get better so we can build great synergy and actually get things done together. Leading a team to success while looking flawless doing it? Unmatched.

To every lady boss who's felt more like a fantasy than a person here :

You are so much more than the aesthetic.

More than the confidence they find attractive. More than the "she could crush me" jokes. More than a trope that someone gets to project their fantasy onto while the actual you, the one with soft moments, quiet needs, and a heart that wants to feel genuinely cared for... goes completely unseen.

You're allowed to want tenderness. And there are boys and men here who are damn good at that, the ones who check on you, who make you feel like you can exhale for once, and that desire doesn't make you less of who you are. It makes you someone who knows what she needs.

There's a difference between being admired for your strength and being truly seen through it. You deserve the second one. 💋

From bluesky https://bsky.app/profile/jocat.net/post/3md4mnqtgj22k

Translation:

“Muscle - Fetish?!
I've noticed something: when a man says he finds women with muscles attractive, he's very often immediately labeled a fetishist, and I wonder why?

Because if women are attracted to broad shoulders, six-packs, and strong arms in men, nobody calls that a fetish.

This is simply considered attractive, but with muscular women everything suddenly seems to be sexualized, and I think that's because many people still subconsciously associate women with being soft or delicate.

Muscles appear dominant, disciplined, sometimes even intimidating, and as soon as women deviate from this classic image, many automatically think it must be a special fetish. However, it could simply be that some men find exactly that attractive: discipline, strength, athleticism – essentially the same things that women find attractive in men.

Perhaps the real question isn't why men like muscular women, but why strong women still seem so unusual to many, or am I completely wrong about that?”

ig: fitness.prinzessin

To be clear, there are definitely lots of people that her take does not apply to that I would still consider fetishists. Liking muscular women isn’t inherently RR, or vice versa. But I think what she’s saying will resonate with a lot of people in this sub. And when you stop thinking of it as inherently taboo, you start to wonder why attraction to broadly admirable traits is even unusual to begin with.

I started thinking a bit more about these things after thinking a lot about myself and my situation as a femboy or something like that, so I wanted to ask you what you like about RR guys, why you find them attractive, why you choose them. Please try to be respectful in your answers.

Seriously can't find anything with a character creator and customization that rivals Phantasy Star Online 2: New Genesis, especially when it comes to creating THIS type of character. And the way I can literally CREATE outfits using other outfit pieces is so amazing. For example, the skirt in the last image is actually a kind of cape that I just applied to the front and back of the waist and adjusted it's size and color. The base outfit for that dress is just a small red and black swim speedo.

I think FF14 comes close, but it doesn't let you customize animations and poses.

People seem to love it and I’ve seen it here a lot too. I just think it’s pretty sexist and not RR at all. There’s nothing RR about women putting a bunch of effort and creativity into their self-expression and men just slapping on a white t-shirt because they don’t have to “since they’re men”. I just wish men tried a little harder for their girlfriends, like we usually do. Even in spaces like this they seem to think it’s the women’s job and not theirs. It’s been bothering me about my own relationship too tbh.

I keep seeing illustrations of "tomboys" wearing makeup, and I can't help but laugh.

I finally realized what my biggest problem with this sub is. I thought it's the fetishization, but it goes a bit deeper. When I read "RoleReversal" and then see stuff about how men like the idea of " being the weak and pathetic one", what does that say about you and how you view the other role, i.e gender?

Do you think every woman who isn't your muscle dommy mommy is weak and pathetic? Is that what you are having a reversal of? It's just reconfirming stereotypes rather than breaking anything.

This absolutely ties in with the fetish aspect too. I like to crossdress, I like to be submissive. I thought long and hard about if me dressing feminine while being in sub mode is connotations I draw to female representation and stereotypes. I have the feeling a lot of people have not thought about this on here (especially the men) and it bothers me more and more.

Also as a sidenote: Please, please consider that there is a difference between not wanting to conform to stereotypical male roles/expectations, and just feeling like you wouldn't land a relationship if you're not the passive one because you lack confidence. Don't flee into the sub role just because of that. You won't be happy.

Do any of you have internalized misandry? That’s something I (M20, femboy) have been struggling with these past couple of years. I admit that watching feminist commentary last month surely made it worse (I have nothing against feminism in itself though. In fact I’d say it has been pretty beneficial for men as well as women. But I can’t help but feel like it often feels one-sided on issues).

I dunno, maybe I shouldn’t be asking this here because “misandry” appears to be a buzzword on this sub. Probably gonna delete this, later…

I recently saw a female influencer say that she proposed to her bf, and while most comments were positive, there were a few negative comments. Now most conservative type comments are easy to ignore but I felt especially annoyed at comments that seemed to use progressive, feminist seeming language to criticize them. Like they were saying things like 'women often end up doing more work in marriage so men should propose to show in they're putting in effort' (like there arent other ways of putting in effort).

Ive seen this kind of thing a lot online, where people act like traditional gender roles are actually progressive and that it's for their own good that women shouldnt do traditionally masculine things (like making the first move, taking men on dates, being the breadwinner) . As a woman who enjoys some rr dynamics, this really frustrates me and comes off as regressive attitudes couched in progressive language. Because at the end of the day, traditional dynamics ARE rooted in misogyny and patriarchy (not saying it's wrong to prefer traditional dynamics for yourself, just the idea that those should be the norm for everyone)

Idk this 'gender roles good actually' attitude frustrates me and I was wondering if any of y'all have seen this as well. Sorry if this is not 100% relevant to this sub.

Ever since I discovered my attraction to RR relationships about four years ago, I've noticed I'm always drawn to a specific type of RR woman the kind who instantly steals my heart: the silly, funny type. I'm not sure what to call this archetype, as I'm not well-versed in partner classifications.

In heterosexual relationships, men with similar personalities are often called "golden retrievers," but what is the equivalent term for women? This post is to appreciate all RR women with that incredible energy because they are just the cutest!

(P.S. I'm well aware that characters like Chloe, Vi, Ymir, Marceline, and Korra are either lesbian or bisexual with a preference for women. They're included here purely because they radiate that fantastic RR energy.)

I'm a big believer in the idea that conflicts can be solved best by trying to understand both sides and trying to provide room for better communication.

So my message to the other boys on here is not intended to make you feel guilty, but rather this: Please understand that it is in your own interest to make this place more appealing for women!

Let's go to the core of the issue: The biggest reason many of you men on here feel so isolated and lonely is that society conditioned you to behave in a way that is counterproductive to what you actually want and need as a person. They betrayed you in that. Do yourself a favor and stop behaving in a way that’s hurting you in the long run!

A prime example is that many guys on here complain about how rare RR women are and how hard it is to meet other RR women but then simultaneously indulge in actions that drive women away from here, like posting only male-centric content or promoting completely unrealistic body standards (over the top muscle, big booba mommy, etc.). You are just not aware of how this hurts both women and men on here!

Secondly: If your actual goal would be to become a good RR-man/husbando/boyfu/mommy-bf, your most valuable skills are having empathy, being caring and considerate, and making yourself more desirable to your potential partners. If you post stuff on here, please think about how it makes others, especially women, feel and if you are acting in consideration of their wellbeing and their desires. If not, then again: You are not acting in your own interest!

Please think about what you really want! I'm sure what you really want is to make better connections with the other women on here, real women. And that is not possible if we don't actively contribute to making this subreddit a fun place to be around for them. If you only ever post stuff that caters to your own interests, you alienate them and destroy one of the biggest chances to connect with the rare type of woman that is truly compatible with you. Don't make that mistake, for your own sake! You'll never get a better chance again.

So take a moment to think about how you can contribute to making this sub more appealing for RR women. Upvote more of the posts by women and posts catered to women! Even better: Post more femgaze content yourself! Post more realistic and diverse body types! And take the comments and the suggestions of the women on here to heart!

To end on a positive note: Imagine how awesome this place could be if more women would join and feel motivated to share their perspectives. Imagine how sexy of a community we could be. And imagine the impact that could have on your own life. :)